I hate women

LegacyUser

Hi All

6 months ago I broke up with my Girlfriend of a year and a half as I was being basically walked all over. I did love her but it was just to stressful as she was very high maintenance and towards the end of the relationship she was treating me like property.

Anyway, all my friends are seeing people so I have spent most of the time on my own. So I decided after 3 months to get back out there and meet people. But I'm having real trouble.

The Girl I broke up with was my first Girlfriend ever (I'm 25 btw) and not to sound big headed I now see myself as an excellent judge of character. I feel I can tell exactly what a girl is like after talking to her for just 15 min. And the prognosis is not good. Of all the women I have met and talked to they are all like my previous Girlfriend (thats out of approx 10 women all from different groups of friends with different backgrounds and met them in different places) The Characteristics that I see in all of them straight away are as follows:
Controlling
Moany when they don't get there own way
Materialistic
Shallow
and Self absorbed

And they above seriously put me off, it doesn't matter to me how good looking the girl is or even if she just wants a one nighter (I'm not into that anyway) I'm terrified of ending up where I was this time last year and the scariest thing of all is that it seems all women are like this. I can't go back to that.

And even MORE worryingly I'm not a big going out person anymore. so its even more difficult to meet good people.

It's gotten to the point where I just do not like, trust or have respect for women anymore. And I know that a terrible thing but its the truth. For example last night I was in a club with two Lads and their Girlfriends (I was a total third wheel) anyway I'm at the bar and this very good looking girl starts talking to me, after about 2 min I had her figured out and I know the inevitable question was coming "will you buy me a drink?" I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

Now that is unbelievable for me! I couldn't believe I said that, I would NEVER have said something like that to anyone a couple of years ago. but here I am now, this angry person

I don't wanna be like this, but unfortunately I just can't do Irish women
Is there any other guys that feel this way or did feel this way?
How do I stop this?

MIN2511

1. Don't generalise all Irish women, they are not all the same
2. Because one woman used you and left you in pieces does not mean all women would do the same.
3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and make an effort to socialise, pity most of your mates are in relationships but you can make new friends(work, boards beers, gym)
4. You are only 25, what is the hurry? Do you really need another relationship? Why not just enjoy the single life?



Foreign women can be bitches too! Some of them are the biggest spongers ever! No kidding, i wont genaralise but i have heard a few about some foreign wimmins... They also mess with your head if you are not careful

Miss Fluff

Unregistered wrote: »

I now see myself as an excellent judge of character. I feel I can tell exactly what a girl is like after talking to her for just 15 min. And the prognosis is not good. Of all the women I have met and talked to they are all like my previous Girlfriend (thats out of approx 10 women all from different groups of friends with different backgrounds

Highly coincidental that each and every girl was the same eh?:rolleyes:

15 minutes would definitely give you ample opportunity to make a full unbiased judgements on every dimension of one's character too it seems.;)

You have A LOT of growing up to do buddy. I'd advise being single for a year or two, get to grips with who you are and then you may be in a position to enter an adult relationship. As it stands, you come accross as way too juvenile to enter into or sustain any kind of mature relationship.

LegacyUser

Miss Fluff wrote: »

15 minutes would definitely give you ample opportunity to make a full unbiased judgements on every dimension of one's character too it seems.;)

Well they say first impressions are everything right?. I will admit that of the 10 or so I've talked to 2 seemed down to earth(ish) but they just seem so "fake". If ya know that I mean?

Miss Fluff wrote: »

You have A LOT of growing up to do buddy. I'd advise being single for a year or two, get to grips with who you are and then you may be in a position to enter an adult relationship. As it stands, you come accross as way too juvenile to enter into or sustain any kind of mature relationship.

Perhaps your right. but personally I wouldn't consider myself to be juvenile. The being single thing is probably the correct route but as most of my friends are seeing people it means I'm going to be spending a lot of my time on my own. which is ok but not great really ya know?
But I do think I will have t figure out what I want, How can I not trust women but yet want to be seeing one? Its a contradiction on itself!

Piste

Have you considered maybe you're not the excellent judge of chaacter you thought you were? It seems that because your ex messed you around you're looknig for the same characteristics in other girls, so you could be taking a perfectly innocuous statement or action and seeing it as a symptom of them being stuck up. Maybe don't be so quick to judge girls and look at the girls you meet from different angles.

Kirnsy

Unregistered wrote: »

I now see myself as an excellent judge of character.

I feel I can tell exactly what a girl is like after talking to her for just 15 min.

contradiction much??:rolleyes:

girls seem to you as:

Unregistered wrote: »

Controlling
Moany when they don't get there own way
Materialistic
Shallow
and Self absorbed

but yet apparently you...

Unregistered wrote: »

do not like, trust or have respect for women anymore.

FINALLY

Unregistered wrote: »

For example last night I was in a club with two Lads and their Girlfriends (I was a total third wheel) anyway I'm at the bar and this very good looking girl starts talking to me, after about 2 min I had her figured out and I know the inevitable question was coming "will you buy me a drink?" I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

..... maybe YOU are coming across in a slightly negative way??


i think you need to grow up. when you're mature you can date nice people

cantdecide

Waggy fingers- my favourite.

OP, you are being unreasonable. The 'slag' incident? Whoa bud, time for a time out! Not all women are the same so don't let one bad one turn you into a misogynist. If the same pulling practises are turning up largely similar traits in your prospects 1) change the location and 2) change the type of women you are looking for.

Buzz Buzz

Mate, I'd take a long look in the mirror and realise your the common denominator between all these women.. and your blaming them!? You sound fairly moany, self absorbed and shallow yourself, and pretty arrogant to boot. And calling a girl you have just met a slag and telling her to fu@k off, with no real cause to do so, displays a real lack of maturity and respect for others.

I suggest you start examining the emotions that have developed from ending your past relationship as it seems the resentment your holding for your last girlfriend is spilling over into your relatioships with other women.

You know, despite what you think, its not them that has the bad attitude.. its you.

herya

You need to go out more.

OR

Go ghey!

LostinBlanch

Well I wouldn't put it quite that way. But I'll say that the op sounds like he still hasn't got over the last gf. Nothing wrong in that, time will sort him out there. But right now he's projecting his feelings about his previous gf onto other women he knows. And do you know what? Right now it looks like he's getting exactly what he's looking for.

OP as facetious as this may sound right now, chill out and stop looking for a direct replacement for your last gf. If you do this, the chances of you finding someone as good as, or even better than your last gf increase big time. I can't say when you'll meet her, that's down to you, but good luck with it.

towel401

Unregistered wrote: »

For example last night I was in a club with two Lads and their Girlfriends (I was a total third wheel) anyway I'm at the bar and this very good looking girl starts talking to me, after about 2 min I had her figured out and I know the inevitable question was coming "will you buy me a drink?" I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

Now that is unbelievable for me! I couldn't believe I said that, I would NEVER have said something like that to anyone a couple of years ago. but here I am now, this angry person

I don't wanna be like this, but unfortunately I just can't do Irish women
Is there any other guys that feel this way or did feel this way?
How do I stop this?

i like your style. this was actually a good idea. any girl who tries to mooch free drinks in such a way deserves that. but they not all like that. just most of them. especially in those sort of places

Pyr0

The problem isn't the women you've been talking to, sadly its you ! Jesus christ, yeah you've been treated badly by your ex but does that give you an excuse to treat other "similar" women like sh1t based purely on a 15 minute conversation you have with them ?

Perfect judge of character ? Get over yourself. I can make a pretty good judge of character based on your post, not very fair is it ? No one becomes an expert judge of character after having their heartbroken by the first love, 25 years old or not.

LegacyUser

Ah young skywalker, young you are,much learning you have to do.What is the lowest common denominator in all of the scenario's YOU have encountered to date??? The answer lies within YOU.You can only change one person...

May I make a suggestion and please feel free to reject it.

Teach others how to treat you, how you would like to be treated.
ie Treat yourself as you would like others to treat you.

Finally one last question? Making comparsions, what does it get for you, what purpose does it ultimately achieve for you.

You now know what you don't want a in partner, the question now becomes what do you want.And really really really really go for it.

Tired now, sleep must I do now.

Don't be too hard on the wimmenz, we all mirror each other.
evol dna ecaep htiw uoy gninraw mI

RedXIV

sorry OP, but as Pyr0 says, the issue here sounds like you. There are plenty of women out there who would make any guy happy and by the sounds of your handling of the drink situation, you're in no mood to meet any of them. There are a wide variety of ways i could nit pick at your post but i think you're best bet is
1. don't believe you're an excellent judge of character, especially on nights out, most people change.
2. get over the damage your ex did, i know it's tough but you aren't gonna give any woman a chance till you do.
3. learn to enjoy yourself again. and to trust women, there's not ALL bad

MagicMarker

Sorry OP, but you're completely and utterly delusional. You were treated like crap and now you're projecting the feelings you have for your ex onto all women.

Methinks it's time for you to stop wallowing in self pity and grow up, the only person you're hurting in the long run is yourself.

banshee_bones

cantdecide wrote: »

1) change the location and 2) change the type of women you are looking for.

+1

go join some clubs, get out more, broaden your social circle, oh and try and give someone longer than 15 minutes okay?

Kintarō Hattori

Unregistered wrote: »

I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

OP you know not every woman is bad, things just don't work like that. Many people are involved in long happy relationships where they treat each other with respect and get along just fine.

You say you can size any woman up in 15 minutes, you say that you hate women, you buy a woman a pint of water, tell her she's a slag and then to f*ck off.

I can only surmize that the problem lays firmly at your door. You had a bad previous relationship and you are letting this one woman cloud your view of every other woman. If you want things to change you will need to look yourself in the mirror and see what you can start changing about yourself.
Your perception of the ladies is not accurate. Perhaps you move in a bad social circle? Alot of guys will tell you that they never met their partner at a club. They meet someone through friends or through a hobby. A club is not really the place to go and look for potential girlfriend material.

If you want things to improve you are going to need to change your perception and how you do things socially.

pseudonym1

I'm sorry your ex hurt you so! Maybe disbandon the notion of starting a relationship. Get to know someone become friends first. As for tarnishing all women with the same brush- its not fair on them or yourself.
Take some you time develop and get to know yourself all over again- it will be time well spent. IF it is consuming you this much perhaps a professional is the best person to help you atm

Best of luck

Leprachaun

Unregistered wrote: »

The Characteristics that I see in all of them straight away are as follows:
Controlling
Moany when they don't get there own way
Materialistic
Shallow
and Self absorbed

Oh so the same traits as the entire human race then?

Dublinstiofán

Listen to 'Galway Girl' and take the hint.Lot to be said for a good owl Country girl.
From what ive seen they treat guys a lot better. Maybe its because they don't have the same selection of guys as the girls in Dublin, i don't know.

Not that i'm knocking the Dubs theres plenty of good ones too, just might need a change if you have been with a Controlling, Materialistic, Shallow and Self absorbed Dub.

unhappycamper

Sorry to hear you are sick of woman at the moment but really it is not just Irish woman or woman for that matter it's just your experiences with the people you have already dated. I know you know you over reacted with the girl talking to you at the bar scenario but if you would consider this for a moment. Firstly, not many guys have girls chatting to them so be happy about that and secondly in the Irish pub scene buying a girl a drink is a way of spending time talking to the girl within the club or social scene, look at it like an excuse to get to know one-another. Please OP don't make it out like every girl wants something just because she expects you to buy her a drink. It is courtesy to buy your friends or a new acquaintance a drink after all. Anyway I chat people up from time to time and offer to buy them a drink, what's the big deal? What is really getting to you is there something else?

metrovelvet

First of all, you should not be dating, scoring, whatever while you are feeling like this. You may actually fall for someone and lash out at them unbenknowingly.

I can understand how this is happenning. When you are with someone, something archtypal happens where they start to embody all of their gender and you see their gender through the prism of that person. So this seems quite normal to me for you to be angry at women, since your ex treated you so badly.

It will take you a long long time to disentagle your feelings for her from all other women, your rage, your need for petty little revenges, your desperation for one woman to prove you wrong about your prejudices.

Also believing is seeing. You will seek and find things to back up your perceptions. Take a time out - a long one. Be good to yourself.

wylo

Op you must be bad at talking to women because most other people get different traits out of women,
Emotional
Thoughtful
Smart
Considerate
Funny
Look good!!!

Yes your a great judge of character alright.

Caryatnid

OP you consider yourself an excellent judge of character, yet you seem to be bad at time calculations.

You were with your gf for a year and a half, which actually consists of lots of fifteen minutes - yet you stayed with this person even though she 'walked all over' you. I suggest that actually you are not such a good judge of character as you think you are.

I agree with the sentiment of the rest of the posters. If all women were as you perceive them to be - they would all be single as the male population wouldn't be interested in such mean people.

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi All

6 months ago I broke up with my Girlfriend of a year and a half as I was being basically walked all over. I did love her but it was just to stressful as she was very high maintenance and towards the end of the relationship she was treating me like property.

Anyway, all my friends are seeing people so I have spent most of the time on my own. So I decided after 3 months to get back out there and meet people. But I'm having real trouble.

The Girl I broke up with was my first Girlfriend ever (I'm 25 btw) and not to sound big headed I now see myself as an excellent judge of character. I feel I can tell exactly what a girl is like after talking to her for just 15 min. And the prognosis is not good. Of all the women I have met and talked to they are all like my previous Girlfriend (thats out of approx 10 women all from different groups of friends with different backgrounds and met them in different places) The Characteristics that I see in all of them straight away are as follows:
Controlling
Moany when they don't get there own way
Materialistic
Shallow
and Self absorbed

And they above seriously put me off, it doesn't matter to me how good looking the girl is or even if she just wants a one nighter (I'm not into that anyway) I'm terrified of ending up where I was this time last year and the scariest thing of all is that it seems all women are like this. I can't go back to that.

And even MORE worryingly I'm not a big going out person anymore. so its even more difficult to meet good people.

It's gotten to the point where I just do not like, trust or have respect for women anymore. And I know that a terrible thing but its the truth. For example last night I was in a club with two Lads and their Girlfriends (I was a total third wheel) anyway I'm at the bar and this very good looking girl starts talking to me, after about 2 min I had her figured out and I know the inevitable question was coming "will you buy me a drink?" I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

Now that is unbelievable for me! I couldn't believe I said that, I would NEVER have said something like that to anyone a couple of years ago. but here I am now, this angry person

I don't wanna be like this, but unfortunately I just can't do Irish women
Is there any other guys that feel this way or did feel this way?
How do I stop this?

A couple of points.

You allowed yourself to be treated like property. Generally speaking after a break up is that painful time when you need to look at yourself in the context of that relationship and figure out what went wrong.

You are a big boy and well able to look after yourself. You just made the mistake of holding on for the sake of love, it happens, especially with first relationships.

My second point would be that you don't appear to have moved on much. Claiming every woman you have met is like your ex and mentioning that you are still obviously scared of getting hurt tells me your not over your old relationship. Hell, you even say you went looking for women because you were basically bored.

As far as the whole figuring people out in 15 mins thing, generally speaking when i meet someone i will know at a grass routes level what kind of person they are. I just have a gift for people, sometimes i'm wrong but mostly i'm right. It's something i have picked up through knowng a vast amount of characters and people and putting myself into situations where i would be dealing with massively varied personality types.

It's not the kind of things you get good at because you got dumped.

Now then, with regards to your behaviour that has shocked you, there is only one way to stop that and you know what it is.

So, my advices, get over your girlfriend and get over yourself. Because right now you are borderline asshole because you are still pining. Thats the kind of rubbish that needs to be knocked on the head.

madmik

a lot of women are arrogant greedy controlling bitches especially irish so i wouldnt give you 100% of the blame like some others have done but u do need to lighten up a bit

i also think i can judge a person pretty well on first and initial impressions and i think a 15 minutes chat will give you a good insight about a person

I worked in direct sales for years and we usually had less than 15 minutes to work with so guaging a person fast got to be second nature

where have u been meeting these women recently?

tommyboy2222

Correct ! You do hate women !

Don't tar all women with the same brush.

metrovelvet

Try men madmik.

goodcitizen

Forget about Irish women, a lot of them are like little dictators if you're stupid enough to get involved with them with this kind of " I'll do anything to survive" type of mentality which usually means being devious.
Foreign women are more easygoing and you tend to know where you stand with them.

madmik

metrovelvet wrote: »

Try men madmik.

my god,we have a genius in the house!

COH

The fact that you think you can judge all women after 15 mins says alot more about you than it does them. No offense but get over yourself.

You're just not over your past relationship. You'll have a differant perspective once you move on properly

madmik

there is a differnce in "judging" a person and forming an opinion or whether or not youre compatible or not

the first 15 minutes should at least give you an idea whether you want to engage further with this person or not

LegacyUser

OP the fact that you let women walk all over you speaks volumes about YOU than any female. Grow a set of balls and then when you have some hair on them you MAY be ready for an adult relationship. Psychologically it sounds like you have arrested development. Stop being a wimp and projecting all your inferiorities onto women and become a MAN.

LegacyUser

Hi All

Couple of things I picked up on.

Firstly. I do not let women walk on me, telling me to grow up, be a man etc is pointless. That situation with my Ex only happened within the last 3/4 months of our relationship. I saw which way the tide was turning and I did what I had to do. (Which I did in the nicest possible way, I don't want to hurt anyone)

Secondly. I am happy that she is gone and I don't miss her, but I do think that you guys are right and that I'm now a bit screwed up over it. I suppose I am looking for the bad things in people which is a lot easier to find that the good things. I have always been a good judge of character, just my experiences over the last year and a half have improved my understanding of women a small bit.

I know not all women are the same but my experiences within the last couple of months and over X-Mas has shown me that at least 80% of them are all the same.

I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just want to go back to being nice instead of being a wanker. I just cant bring myself to trust women when I know that if I do I'll be putting up with a load of crap this time next year! (notably: I have been getting more attention from women now that I am not really nice to them anymore... whats up with that!?)

McGinty

Hi Op

Unless you resolve your issues regarding your last relationship, you are going to attract the type of women you hope to avoid. Basically you are so focused on avoiding girls like your ex, you are inadvertantly attracting a similar type because you are so focused on that.

Ask yourself what went wrong in your last relationship, look at your part in it, be truthful with yourself and learn from it. Right now you are projecting your anger onto women, we are not all the same.

Also worth considering is this, are you giving off a vibe to be treated like property? I say this because I had one date with this man I met who was still hung up about his ex. He said he treated her like a princess, bought her a house, money, jewellery, etc and she did the dirt on him and treated him like a money machine. Now okay fair point, but, he point blank refused to let me buy him a drink on our date, he bragged about his job, how much he was worth, boasted about the gadgets he had etc. In other words he was giving out mixed messages, he was saying I can give you all this material stuff but also bemoaning the fact he was used. I have met countless men I could have ripped off if I wanted to and each and every one of them laid themselves on the line financially. I would compare it with a woman who says she doesn't want sex, sees all men as users sexually and then has sex with them. Or like you she ends up hating them and being vindictive. Now, I would not use a man financially, for me it is disgusting, I also think women sponging drinks of men is disgusting but calling a woman a slag for that behaviour just makes you look bad. Instead if a woman asks for a drink I would suggest you say no and that it is rude to ask strangers for drinks.

Wibbs

metrovelvet and madmik, stay on the topic please

Trinity

Its not a good idea to get back into a relationship in your current frame of mind.

And especially given your reasons for wanting to do it, cos your mates have girlfriends, cos you are bored etc.

People dont realise how badly they can affect us. WHile you may be over your ex, it doesnt sound like you are over the hurt she caused and her bad treatment of you. I'm sure you feel you didnt deserve it and were nice to her and couldnt understand why she did this to you.

Take time to build yourself back up, get your confidence back and start to see the good in people. Trust yourself, you did well to walk away from that situation, a lot of peopel would have put up with it out of love or fear of breaking up.

If you look for bad in people you will find it. You know how they say people attract a certain type of person.

When you are ready to see the good you will find that too.

And dont believe all that crap about Irish women and foreign women. theres cnuts of every nationality, and nice people of every nationality. People are individuals and judge them as that. Anyone that cant see that has even more bitterness than you harboured somewhere.

Huggles

Unregistered wrote: »

not to sound big headed I now see myself as an excellent judge of character.

Unregistered wrote: »

Well they say first impressions are everything right?. I will admit that of the 10 or so I've talked to 2 seemed down to earth(ish) but they just seem so "fake". If ya know that I mean?

Obviously not an excellent judge of character if you cant decide if they are down to earth or fake.

TBH I think the problem is you, it was you first relationship so in terms of relationships you are a little immature. Take the advice above and stay single for awhile and grow up a bit.

Wibbs

Original Poster wrote: »

Secondly. I am happy that she is gone and I don't miss her, but I do think that you guys are right and that I'm now a bit screwed up over it.

Yep, like Metrovelvet suggested you're looking at all women through the prism of your ex. Easy trap to fall into.

I suppose I am looking for the bad things in people which is a lot easier to find that the good things.

Again an easy trap to fall into. Being pessimistic can often make you look like a prophet. Then again it can also be a self fulfilling thing too.

I have always been a good judge of character,

I can read people pretty quickly and easily. Been good at it since I was a kid. I used to rely on it far more than I do now. I stopped because simply it was too easy to be wrong.

just my experiences over the last year and a half have improved my understanding of women a small bit.

I know not all women are the same but my experiences within the last couple of months and over X-Mas has shown me that at least 80% of them are all the same.

I would say 80% of people are the "same" to any particular individual, male or female. I would feel the same, but one diff. I would reckon that a goodly proportion of people and me would not get on beyond pleasantries and they would not get on with me. But I also realise that they are people like everyone else and plenty of people do get on with them, love them, respect their opinions etc. So what If I don't? That's just my thing. Big deal. I can think of people that really rub the wrong way for no obvious reason, but I can see why others like them and fair play.

That's people in general. Women in particular? OK IMHO and in a general way men and woman are mostly the same in everyday life. There are bigger differences bewteen individuals than between genders, That said men and women are different in some areas of life. This is most apparent in the romantic arena. Call it biology, society whatever, but the differences are there. They look for different things to men, they go about getting those things in a different way too. Both men and women can get into trouble assuming that the other wants and needs the same things as them romantically/emotionally. You will hear women complain that men are not open about how they feel or the woman is expecting the guy to read subtle signals that she would pick up in an instant, but he misses. The "women expect you to be psychic" scenario.Other women would spot it a mile off. Men for the most part may not. Why? because in general men tend to be more emotionally direct with each other and don't do subtle quite as well. Is this men's fault or women's? Nope. Just a difference. A difference that both sides need to understand and work around, which is where growth comes in.

I am not feeling sorry for myself. I just want to go back to being nice instead of being a wanker. I just cant bring myself to trust women when I know that if I do I'll be putting up with a load of crap this time next year!

Trust is a funny thing. For me, I don't look for trust, I extend it openly. If I get disappointed by someone, well then lesson learned about that particular person. Have I been cheated on? Have I been broken up emotionally about it? Yep. More than once. Have I seen women cheat on their partners? Yep. More than once. Hell they've done it with me. I've personally seen it more than with men I know. What does that tell me? All women cheat and men cheat less? Nope. It tells me that some women cheat, because I know women who haven't and wouldn't. It tells me that women have more opportunities to cheat than men in general. It tells me that the people I have as friends, both men and women, don't cheat and are trustworthy, hence they're my friends. I don't distrust people at all. I trust them to be people, men and women. My experience over time tells me if they're trustworthy across the board. If they're not, then fine, I don't want them around. End of.

notably: I have been getting more attention from women now that I am not really nice to them anymore... whats up with that!?

I agree that one is true for the most part. The "treat em mean, keep em keen" does have some validity. For a load of reasons. Most women are used to being the pursued. That's the default. Many men are socially awkward with women and try to pander to women to get what they want. Woman see this, know this and aren't too keen on it.

Men who are actually confident, emotionally together and socially vibrant tend to not act like that. They are not socially inferior to a woman they like, they don't automatically put her on a pedestal because she may have a nice arse and they more equal in their dealings with women. The exchange goes both ways. Women naturally want a man like that, because they're simply better men.

"Bad boys" trigger some of those points and that can throw women and because the actually confident emotionally together bloke is rare enough and not encountered that often, a lot of women, especially young women, confuse the two. Hence the "bad boy" phase many(if not most) go through.

Acting like a bad boy, is the male equivalent of stuffing your bra. It's not real and is not sustainable.

The other reason I reckon is that women are more socially aware and invested in that. They're the glue that binds society together in a lot of ways. The lone wolf is thought of as male for good reason. They will tend to focus more on one that is leaning away from the group and try to pull them back in.

Then of course many people, men and women, are lacking in confidence in themselves(more women than men I would say), so someone acting aloof to them is plugging into what they already believe about themselves. Throw in that other men may pander too much to them and the bad boy starts to look good. "I'm unworthy. Men who tell me that I'm brilliant too quickly I think are eejits. They don't know I'm unworthy. This guy treats me as lesser. He's right, therefore I trust his judgement. He's more attractive" kinda thing.

I would say, to a greater or lesser extent, men start off as romantic wimps, get burned, become bad boys(or try to) for a time and hopefully when life has knocked the corners off settle down to some sort of balance. Others give up at the first hurdle, get "lucky" with someone down the line and that can go either way. You're just in the extreme part of this phase IMHO. You may be in it for a while, but you'll get through it.

Realise it's just a phase. You've gone from an unrealistic naive view of "women", to a reactionary one. That's also unrealistic, so don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Both are part and parcel of learning if you're up for it.

Don't go out with anyone for the moment. Back off. Chill. Try to get to know women in general. Snog a few if you like on a sat night, but don't get involved. You're nowhere near ready and if you do meet the right woman for you while like this, you may screw it up. Your outburst with the good looking woman at the bar should not be repeated. She could have been the love of your life. Don't take the chance of screwing that up in the future.

Gemini Sister

Wow Wibbs, that was very impressive. I bet the ladies offer to buy you the drink

OP take note!

St Bill

Wibbs wrote: »

Acting like a bad boy, is the male equivalent of stuffing your bra. It's not real and is not sustainable.

OP, you can't assume that all women are the same. From an emotional point of view, you're giving yourself a lot of work and hassle. And from a logical point of view, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Accept that fact that your last girlfriend hurt you, take a break from fraternising with the opposite sex so the possibility of saying 'fu*k off, slag' doesn't arise, and only go back to talking to girls when you know you've gotten over your ex and you can talk to a new girl without judging and insulting her.

On a side note OP, you probably earned the nickname 'psycho' when that girl you were talking to went back to her friends. Name calling isn't right either, but would you blame a girl for giving you that name after being spoken to the way you spoke to her? Is this the life you want to have? Is this how you want other people to see you? The title of your thread says a lot about you, and what it says is not good. We all attract people who have a similar outlook to our own, and if your outlook is negative and disparaging of others, well you're just going to attract people who are similar

LegacyUser

Longest reply ever

But makes perfect sense, I think understand now what I have to do.

Thank you

MJOR

Everybody gets hurt. You cannot however tar the whole femail population with the same brush. In your original post you came across as a little arrogant. You're right first impressions do count, however it might be possible that in the nightclub/ pub situation where alcohol is involved the impression you get a initially may be wrong/clouded?

You are the master of your own destiny. You allowed this to happen and by your own admission copped on and got out. Fair play to you. But the world isn't against you or out to get you. It happens each and everyone of us.

Think about relationships like learning to ride a bike, you fall off and get hurt sometimes, but eventually you ride along with an amazing sense of achievement.

Good luck and I i hope it all works out!! I bet you'll be back here in a few months complaining that you're girlfriend hogs the bed or something like that! You'll discover we aint all that bad!

metrovelvet

Original Poster wrote: »

Hi All

! (notably: I have been getting more attention from women now that I am not really nice to them anymore... whats up with that!?)

You've been getting attention from women who like bad boys. And you know that the type of women who like bad boys are the type who can be mean to them without feeling guilty about it since the man is a prick anyway. So you see, you are attracting what you are projecting. If you keep acting like a dick you are going to draw into your orbit women who will confirm your prejudices.

JohnGalt

I agree with you OP, women are terrible in my opinion. They are boring and selfish, not to mention useless at sport. Forget about them

Wibbs

JohnGalt banned for a week for continuous and in my opinion deliberate riling and sh*tstirring on many threads. If you have nothing constructive to say on these matters try not posting. Opinion is fine. Opposing views fine. Trolling behaviour not fine. If you can't tell the difference then that's for another day.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

moe_sizlak

Unregistered wrote: »

Hi All

6 months ago I broke up with my Girlfriend of a year and a half as I was being basically walked all over. I did love her but it was just to stressful as she was very high maintenance and towards the end of the relationship she was treating me like property.

Anyway, all my friends are seeing people so I have spent most of the time on my own. So I decided after 3 months to get back out there and meet people. But I'm having real trouble.

The Girl I broke up with was my first Girlfriend ever (I'm 25 btw) and not to sound big headed I now see myself as an excellent judge of character. I feel I can tell exactly what a girl is like after talking to her for just 15 min. And the prognosis is not good. Of all the women I have met and talked to they are all like my previous Girlfriend (thats out of approx 10 women all from different groups of friends with different backgrounds and met them in different places) The Characteristics that I see in all of them straight away are as follows:
Controlling
Moany when they don't get there own way
Materialistic
Shallow
and Self absorbed

And they above seriously put me off, it doesn't matter to me how good looking the girl is or even if she just wants a one nighter (I'm not into that anyway) I'm terrified of ending up where I was this time last year and the scariest thing of all is that it seems all women are like this. I can't go back to that.

And even MORE worryingly I'm not a big going out person anymore. so its even more difficult to meet good people.

It's gotten to the point where I just do not like, trust or have respect for women anymore. And I know that a terrible thing but its the truth. For example last night I was in a club with two Lads and their Girlfriends (I was a total third wheel) anyway I'm at the bar and this very good looking girl starts talking to me, after about 2 min I had her figured out and I know the inevitable question was coming "will you buy me a drink?" I got her a Pint of water, told her she was a slag and then told her to F-Off.

Now that is unbelievable for me! I couldn't believe I said that, I would NEVER have said something like that to anyone a couple of years ago. but here I am now, this angry person

I don't wanna be like this, but unfortunately I just can't do Irish women
Is there any other guys that feel this way or did feel this way?
How do I stop this?

while i feel for you man , i think you need to give the fairer sex a break , a member of the opposite sex ruined my life ( wasnt a love intertest btw) but that didnt make me think all women are bad , take some time out from the birds and you will come to love em again

LegacyUser

I'm female and I think a lot of young, single women are very selfish and out for themselves, even as just friends to other women. I have had lots of female friends over the years and they always let you down and use you eventually. Sometimes I wonder if they have any compassion, integrity or empathy at all. They really don't seem to care about anyone but themselves. I can't understand this because I'm not like that at all. I would never dream of asking a guy to buy me a drink, how forward is that ? While I understand how this poster feels, I would encourage him to forget about meeting someone in a club or pub. You wont meet nice people in clubs and that goes for men and women, or they are few and far between and you could be going 100 years and never meet one. Join a night class or a social club or sports club or something like that.

As for the 15 minutes thing, I think you can pretty much tell what some people are like after 2 minutes, let alone 15. But then some are harder than others, so obviously you can't be using yardsticks like that. I would say, unless the person is completely off the wall and you just know it immediately, then maybe give them a little longer. Remember they are judging you too and the first while is awkward for both parties. You will know after a relatively short time whether they are decent people or not. If they are, then extend it a little longer. I would say 4 or 5 dates and you pretty much know for sure. But then I've known people for five years and only found out they were bitches when I had to 'live' with them on holiday.

A lot of guys try to act overly confident and show off when they meet girls and this can be off-putting. Remember girls are judging too. Don't come on all heavy and don't act like you've had a million lovers or boast about your drinking habits. You don't know, maybe the girl just wants an innocent date and isn't into all that. I'm telling you, this sort of girl is the decent type and the one worth waiting longer than 15 minutes for.

cendant

Unregistered wrote: »

I'm female and I think a lot of young, single women are very selfish and out for themselves, even as just friends to other women. I have had lots of female friends over the years and they always let you down and use you eventually. Sometimes I wonder if they have any compassion, integrity or empathy at all. They really don't seem to care about anyone but themselves. I can't understand this because I'm not like that at all.

I hear you.

I dated three different Irish girls and I disliked the experience. Compared with my Russian (ex) girl-friends, they were not caring, feminine or trustworthy. I understand every person is selfish to some extent, but if you have a relationship you really ought to consider the other person, or the chemistry will evaporate quick enough.

I especially do not understand why they had to turn into pigs on nights out. I understand drinking is a part of the Irish culture and I respect that, but they drank way too much and it was a pitiful sight.

Thank you for the post. I know there are lot of lovely girls out there who are great persons.

St Bill

cendant wrote: »

I dated three different Irish girls and I disliked the experience.

It's really not a good idea to date three girls at the same time. You might have a better 'experience' if you only date one at a time