Soft porn, why?

jester77

I'm sitting here and there's a Mary Carey movie on TV and I'm wondering what's the point. It's just pure titallation and does nothing but leave you frustrated, or am I missing something?

Fizman

Majority of the time I think soft porn is much more arousing than hardcore. Leaves a little to the imagination. I find scantilly clad women sexier than women who are completely nekkid.

Oh and for the record, I don't watch porn. I just 'think' i'd think like this if I did.

Dudess

Meh, I'll say it straight out OP - why don't you masturbate?

And yeah, I wouldn't be into porn but I'd certainly be far more turned on by softcore than that ****ed up hardcore stuff.

davyjose

It's to trick your missus. So she thinks "ah, this is what he means by 'porn'." Meanwhile an albino midget is banging a one-legged tranny in some seedy corner of your hard-drive.

Insect Overlord

jester77 wrote: »

Soft porn, why?

Why not?

Senna

I'm a 'motivated ejaculator'. Soft core does the job for me.

challengemaster

jester77 wrote: »

I'm sitting here and there's a Mary Carey movie on TV and I'm wondering what's the point. It's just pure titallation and does nothing but leave you frustrated, or am I missing something?

You're on the internet. Here, I'll even get you started.

www.google.com

Creamy Goodness

right i'll say this as nice and clear as i possibly can.

you're on the ****ing internet use it for it's intended purpose and don't rely on crappy tv to crack one out.

*edit* damn you CM

AlmightyCushion

Screw soft core shít, if it doesn't have donkeys and midgets then it's pointless.

Fizman

davyjose wrote: »

Meanwhile an albino midget is banging a one-legged tranny in some seedy corner of your hard-drive.

Dude you must have one BIG hard drive. I know combined they both take up just a little bit more real estate than one normal person....but your drive must be at least one Tera-acre big! :P

FunkZ

davyjose wrote: »

It's to trick your missus. So she thinks "ah, this is what he means by 'porn'." Meanwhile an albino midget is banging a one-legged tranny in some seedy corner of your hard-drive.

This post IS After Hours!

jester77

Dudess wrote: »

Meh, I'll say it straight out OP - why don't you masturbate?

It's just so bad... maybe it's just Mary Carey or the fact that it's dubbed.. it's not even worth a token tug!

Galvasean

Fizman wrote: »

Majority of the time I think soft porn is much more arousing than hardcore. Leaves a little to the imagination.

What he said.

jester77

Creamy Goodness wrote: »

right i'll say this as nice and clear as i possibly can.

you're on the ****ing internet use it for it's intended purpose and don't rely on crappy tv to crack one out.

*edit* damn you CM

But it just happens to be on TV, wasn't looking for it... and I know my way around the dark alleyways of the internet!

RoMiLe

Softcore porn is what you watch when you have no internet access. End of story.

Average-Ro

Creamy Goodness wrote: »

right i'll say this as nice and clear as i possibly can.

you're on the ****ing internet use it for it's intended purpose and don't rely on crappy tv to crack one out.

*edit* damn you CM

I'd listen to this. The user name implies experience...

Creamy Goodness

jester77 wrote: »

But it just happens to be on TV, wasn't looking for it... and I know my way around the dark alleyways of the internet!

also notice your location ist hamburg.

doesn't Deutsch fernsehers hat eine scheisse scheisse porn at this time of night.

Bob the Builder

I'm **** all over the keybooard nooww. Sorrry, keyssss r a bittt stticckky at the moment... i'lll cleean it off in a minute when i get ttissuees...

davyjose

Bob the Builder wrote: »

I'm **** all over the keybooard nooww. Sorrry, keyssss r a bittt stticckky at the moment... i'lll cleean it off in a minute when i get ttissuees...

What's the opposite of thanking someone?

Hank Scorpio

i sometimes find it better than hardcore stuff tbh

hotter chicks!!!!!

tony 2 tone

jester77 wrote: »

I'm sitting here and there's a Mary Carey movie on TV and I'm wondering what's the point. It's just pure titallation and does nothing but leave you frustrated, or am I missing something?

Can't believe no one else has asked :mad:...............what bloody channel!?

jester77

Creamy Goodness wrote: »

also notice your location ist hamburg.

doesn't Deutsch fernsehers hat eine scheisse scheisse porn at this time of night.

That it does. Right there is some old skinny geeky dude wearing a red bra and stockings getting spanked by a mistress... says it all!!

davyjose

jester77 wrote: »

That it does. Right there is some old skinny geeky dude wearing a red bra and stockings getting spanked by a mistress... says it all!!

And yet you ask ... "Soft core porn why?"

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I miss Sexcetera...

RoMiLe

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I miss Sexcetera...

Sexcetera is still on.. I was watching it a few hours ago in my friend's gaff....

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Not in Ireland. :(

javaboy

OP do you have the song Bohemian Rhapsody* in your music collection? Almost certainly yes.

Do you play it often? Probably not.

Yet if it comes on the radio, you will say "Aw **** yeah I love this song! Turn it up." and start headbanging a la Wayne's World. That is why soft porn can be the shizzle. It's much hotter when porn finds you than when you find porn.

Note that none of this applies to soft porn on the internet btw, just telly. Choosing to look at soft porn on the net is just sick when there's a whole world of albino tranny midget latino donkey porn at your fingertips.




*Substitute whatever well known song you like (although the Wayne's World bit won't make sense anymore ). The same thing happens with films. I have Die Hard on DVD but have only watched it once. Yet if it's on telly, I always watch it.

Demonique

jester77 wrote: »

I'm sitting here and there's a Mary Carey movie on TV and I'm wondering what's the point. It's just pure titallation and does nothing but leave you frustrated, or am I missing something?

Because close-ups of dick disappearing into pussy isn't attractive?

Personally I'd rather see a close-up of a woman's face as she's moaning and enjoying herself

And I've seen both

Insect Overlord

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Not in Ireland. :(

Chorus digital, channel 130

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

javaboy wrote: »

OP do you have the song Bohemian Rhapsody* in your music collection? Almost certainly yes.

Do you play it often? Probably not.

Yet if it comes on the radio, you will say "Aw **** yeah I love this song! Turn it up." and start headbanging a la Wayne's World. That is why soft porn can be the shizzle. It's much hotter when porn finds you than when you find porn.

Note that none of this applies to soft porn on the internet btw, just telly. Choosing to look at soft porn on the net is just sick when there's a whole world of albino tranny midget latino donkey porn at your fingertips.




*Substitute whatever well known song you like (although the Wayne's World bit won't make sense anymore ). The same thing happens with films. I have Die Hard on DVD but have only watched it once. Yet if it's on telly, I always watch it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfLX7zE6jxw

This works!

jester77

javaboy wrote: »

OP do you have the song Bohemian Rhapsody* in your music collection? Almost certainly yes.

Do you play it often? Probably not.

Yet if it comes on the radio, you will say "Aw **** yeah I love this song! Turn it up." and start headbanging a la Wayne's World. That is why soft porn can be the shizzle. It's much hotter when porn finds you than when you find porn.

Note that none of this applies to soft porn on the internet btw, just telly. Choosing to look at soft porn on the net is just sick when there's a whole world of albino tranny midget latino donkey porn at your fingertips.




*Substitute whatever well known song you like (although the Wayne's World bit won't make sense anymore ). The same thing happens with films. I have Die Hard on DVD but have only watched it once. Yet if it's on telly, I always watch it.

Well, this porn* found me and it's bad... real bad!

*Woman of the Year is the name of it so that no one else can suffer! Oh and I've turned it off now and threw on the Life of Brian...

davyjose

javaboy wrote: »

It's much hotter when porn finds you than when you find porn.

Sometimes, when you're hungover, and you didn't score the night before, and the internet is just ... so, so ... so close by, porn doesn't just find you; it tracks your ass down and makes a human sacrifice outta ya

davyjose

Demonique wrote: »

Because close-ups of dick disappearing into pussy isn't attractive?

Personally I'd rather see a close-up of a woman's face as she's moaning and enjoying herself

And I've seen both

I've seen all three ... ahem <whistles>

Local-womanizer

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Not in Ireland. :(

On living Tv every night,2 episodes back to back!You need to look harder!

Parsley

As a wise man once said, once you jack off to Japanese girls puking in each other's mouths, you can't exactly go back to Playboy! :pac:

The_B_Man

Soft porn is "gateway" porn into much harder porn! FACT!

RoMiLe

Local-womanizer wrote: »

On living Tv every night,2 episodes back to back!You need to look harder!

He meant he's not in Ireland. Read his location

jester77

The_B_Man wrote: »

Soft porn is "gateway" porn into much harder porn! FACT!

where does one go from midgets and donkeys?

davyjose

jester77 wrote: »

where does one go from midgets and donkeys?

Midget donkeys?

The_B_Man

ladyboys and strangulation.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Local-womanizer wrote: »

On living Tv every night,2 episodes back to back!You need to look harder!

No, you misunderstand: I'M not in Ireland.
(And yes, Berlin has a lot, but it's not the same....)

jester77

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

No, you misunderstand: I'M not in Ireland.
(And yes, Berlin has a lot, but it's not the same....)

Ah, well you have to watch the same crap as me then... and it ain't pretty!!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

jester77 wrote: »

Ah, well you have to watch the same crap as me then... and it ain't pretty!!

I just open the curtains

The_B_Man

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

I just open the curtains

You've an alter boy with a part in his hair too?? :eek:

gino85

davyjose wrote: »

It's to trick your missus. So she thinks "ah, this is what he means by 'porn'." Meanwhile an albino midget is banging a one-legged tranny in some seedy corner of your hard-drive.

i see you albino midget banging a 1 legged tranny and raise you black amputee toilet seat handjob

not safe for work or children id say

mods let me know if its inappropriate and ill remove the link

<completely inappropriate>

davyjose

Have you noticed how while he's inserting his stump into her eager gob, he's holding the toilet lid off her head? Chivalry is alive and well.

Anyway my situation was madey-up, freak

phenomenon

Nigella Lawson's cooking shows = best soft core porn on TV

greatgoal

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

No, you misunderstand: I'M not in Ireland.
(And yes, Berlin has a lot, but it's not the same....)

ahh yes berlin,where people pee on each other,a lot.

Professey Chin

jester77 wrote: »

where does one go from midgets and donkeys?

The_B_Man wrote: »

ladyboys and strangulation.

I can testify to this....

Terodil

greatgoal wrote: »

ahh yes berlin,where people pee on each other,a lot.

... are you talking about the government??

Snowie

soft porn babe station this anoys me why because how is doing that hoochie momma shaking her ass sexy allso how are spoty ass's and digustingly fake boobs nice to look at it i really dont get it.......