Do you spend christmas day with your OH?

Malari

This sort of occurred to me when I saw a thread in PI about spending Christmas with the in-laws and someone posted off-topic about it being wierd that anyone wouldn't spend the day with their partner, as opposed to their family.

Me and my boy always go our separate ways for the day, this being our 4th christmas together. Is this unusual? I didn't think so, but I asked a couple of friends and they thought it was strange that we didn't alternate families!

Kya1976

It depends I either spend it with my partner and his family or i go home to Sweden and spend it with my family.
no i really dont think it's unusual to spend it apart, maybe it's one thing if you ave kids together though.

Ginny

This year is the first year i'm not spending it with my family, I'm spending the day with himself and his family, and then we're going to my parents for St. Stephens day.

sweetie

been together 9 years, married in june and I have said I will spend the day with the in-laws but I will probably head over in the morning as our families are only about 40 mins apart. Thing is she won't commit to doing vice versa next year! We have always spent the day with our families but I would always visit my wifes for a couple of hours at least.

Malari

That's the thing! I'd have no problem with my boyfriend spending the day with us, my family really gets on with him, but I wouldn't go near his family, I'd be miserable! It's really only from christmas eve night to boxing day morning that we are apart and we see each other every other day of the year.

LolaLuv

Have you seen Four Christmases? I think it's perfectly reasonable to spend Christmases apart. I don't get this attached-at-the-hip thing that some people expect of couples. Not that there's anything wrong with spending the day together, either, but if you and your bf are happy spending it apart, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

bills

no we always spend it apart. Xmas is about spending time with your family so wouldnt want to be anywhere else & wouldnt expect him to either. Now if we get married some day that will change!! but thats the way it has worked for the last 7 years.

Redpunto

Id say it up the the relationship you have with the inlaws,, once ya have kids though that's be the end of spending Xmas day apart.

coffee_cake

he is spending xmas with my family yes

Latchy

2 children ,one 18 one 11 .Her family are all whitin a 5 mile radius ,mine are all across the Irish sea .No comparison .It's s 16 years since i spent christmas in Ireland and as much as i have enjoyed it , the travelling back and forth is just to much hassle and stress. Although If i were on my own I am sure that woulld change .

CathyMoran

For our first 8 years we spent it apart and just had very expensive phone bills - I hated Christmas as I missed him so much! We got married just after Christmas so we spent that year together with my parents and were with my parents the year after. This year we will be with his parents. Next year we hope to have a little one so it will be strange to see where we go!

Latchy

CathyMoran wrote: »

For our first 8 years we spent it apart and just had very expensive phone bills - I hated Christmas as I missed him so much! We got married just after Christmas so we spent that year together with my parents and were with my parents the year after. This year we will be with his parents. Next year we hope to have a little one so it will be strange to see where we go!

Being with the parents is great most of the time and when you have your little kid it's like speacial ,cos it' s just you him and the baby which everybody will fuss over anyway ,so that's the added spice i m o

SeekUp

CathyMoran wrote: »

For our first 8 years we spent it apart and just had very expensive phone bills - I hated Christmas as I missed him so much! We got married just after Christmas so we spent that year together with my parents and were with my parents the year after. This year we will be with his parents. Next year we hope to have a little one so it will be strange to see where we go!

I hear ya (well, except for the hating Christmas part!) -- the past couple of years we've been on separate continents for Christmas. This year, we're both excited about actually seeing each other on Christmas Day, since he's coming to spend it with my family. Perhaps next year I'll be on his side of the pond. . . . Either way, I sincerely hope that the Christmases apart are over. He's pretty much family now anyway.

GirlInterrupted

I don't have a boyfriend this year, but in the past I've either started the day with them and parted to our seperate families later in the day or started the day with our families and spent the latter part of the day together.

Malari

We actually had a chat about it last night. We're not planning on marriage or kids so came to the conclusion that as long as our parents were alive we would be spending Christmas at our respective homes Suits us both.

Jeapy

We never eat together for Christmas but we go to visit the graveyard in the morning with flowers for his mum. Them few mins mean a lot to me, but after that i don't mind at all!

helimachoptor

Will spend this year with the GF and her family in mayo as my family go to another relatives house.

will have new years dinner in my family house.

Next year it will be her turn to stay with me.

Fair to both of us.

seahorse

Yeah I always spend Christmas with my partner, it would feel weird for us not to. I wouldnt regard it weird for anyone else though; what's going on in other peoples relationships is their own business.

Pyjamarama

Me and my boyfriend spend it apart but think if we were married with kids then we'd alternate between in-laws. If we had our own house then probably would spent Christmas morning together then visit parents. It is weird not to share Christmas with him but would also be strange to not spend it with my family!

Pythia

We live together. On Xmas morning we will go to his parents, then I will head off to my Dad and bros, then back to himself and his family later on.

Setun

Me and the gf are spending christmas together this year, she usually goes home to her family in Holland. Looking forward to it, it's a nice time to be with those whom you are affectionate to.

iguana

bills wrote: »

no we always spend it apart. Xmas is about spending time with your family so wouldnt want to be anywhere else & wouldnt expect him to either.

But surely your partner is also your family. In fact depending on the relationship he becomes your primary family. Part of growing up is creating your own family, which doesn't necessarily mean having children. If I had to list my family it is my husband. Then my parents, followed by my brothers (with my dogs as a sub group stemming from me and my husband). It's not a question of loving any of them more than the others but that is the order in which they are a part of my life and so the order in which I would put them first.

Malteaser!

For the past two years I've spent the morning with my own family and then the evening with my boyfriend and his family.

Femelade

For the last 2 years he has come to mine in the evening and have a few drinks and go home the next day (we only live about 3 miles apart - both live at home) this year i will go to his in the evening, but come home that night.

cmcsoft

Well our parents only live about 20 mins apart so it is't really a problem, we can spend time at both houses so ya I do spend Christmas day (most of it anway ) with her.

Dudess

Malari wrote: »

This sort of occurred to me when I saw a thread in PI about spending Christmas with the in-laws and someone posted off-topic about it being wierd that anyone wouldn't spend the day with their partner, as opposed to their family.

Huh?? From what I've observed, unless a couple are living together, it would be more unusual for them to spend Christmas with each other rather than at home with the folks... and their partner staying with them and their family would be due to exceptional circumstances such as their own family being really far away (like overseas) or family problems. One of my mates is spending Christmas at her boyfriend's all right - cuz her family is scattered everywhere and not speaking to each other etc.

Me and my boy always go our separate ways for the day, this being our 4th christmas together. Is this unusual? I didn't think so, but I asked a couple of friends and they thought it was strange that we didn't alternate families!

Well maybe if you and he live together - do you? Certainly not if you two don't live together though. Some people might even consider Christmas Day the perfect time for a break from each other for a few hours... but of course that's not socially acceptable.
Actually I think that's what a lot of these "norms" boil down to - doing whatever is considered the best thing to be seen to be doing...

PillyPen wrote: »

Have you seen Four Christmases? I think it's perfectly reasonable to spend Christmases apart. I don't get this attached-at-the-hip thing that some people expect of couples.

I know - it's silly. I love being part of a couple at Christmas, but my god, you'll survive without each other for a few hours. Well sure, some people would really love to spend it with their partner of course, but I don't see why they'd feel the need to project this on everyone else.

bills wrote: »

no we always spend it apart. Xmas is about spending time with your family so wouldnt want to be anywhere else & wouldnt expect him to either. Now if we get married some day that will change!! but thats the way it has worked for the last 7 years.

Yeah, I'm the same. Want to do the going home to the folks' place and have Christmas dinner with them and my siblings - like when we were kids - for as long as possible! Doing the adult thing at Christmas sucks!

Malari

Dudess wrote: »

Huh?? From what I've observed, unless a couple are living together, it would be more unusual for them to spend Christmas with each other rather than at home with the folks... and their partner staying with them and their family would be due to exceptional circumstances such as their own family being really far away (like overseas) or family problems. One of my mates is spending Christmas at her boyfriend's all right - cuz her family is scattered everywhere and not speaking to each other etc.

Well maybe if you and he live together - do you? Certainly not if you two don't live together though. Some people might even consider Christmas Day the perfect time for a break from each other for a few hours... but of course that's not socially acceptable.
Actually I think that's what a lot of these "norms" boil down to - doing whatever is considered the best thing to be seen to be doing...

I know - it's silly. I love being part of a couple at Christmas, but my god, you'll survive without each other for a few hours. Well sure, some people would really love to spend it with their partner of course, but I don't see why they'd feel the need to project this on everyone else.

Yeah, I'm the same. Want to do the going home to the folks' place and have Christmas dinner with them and my siblings - like when we were kids - for as long as possible! Doing the adult thing at Christmas sucks!

Yeah, we've lived together about 3 years. Our families only live about 20 mins apart, but it's nice to have the tradition. We give each other gifts on Christmas eve and then at the evening head to our homes. I always help mom in the kitchen that evening and it gives us a chance to chat, he always goes for a drink in the local with his friend. I'm quite happy to spend this time apart. Our families have totally different ideas of what makes an ideal christmas!

Laurs_civic

3rd christmas together.. were spending it with our own families and will see each other christmas eve and day after stephens day..

Piste

Wow I couldn't imagine spending Christmas with anyone but my own family! I'd hate to have a Christmas with just two people, wouldn't feel like a real Christmas at all!

Dudess

Yeah, that's what boring adults do - I know I'm 30 years of age, but dammit, I'll be a kid at Christmas if I want to!

bills

iguana wrote: »

But surely your partner is also your family. In fact depending on the relationship he becomes your primary family. Part of growing up is creating your own family, which doesn't necessarily mean having children. If I had to list my family it is my husband. Then my parents, followed by my brothers (with my dogs as a sub group stemming from me and my husband). It's not a question of loving any of them more than the others but that is the order in which they are a part of my life and so the order in which I would put them first.

yes i see your point. But i think its a personal decision for every couple to make. We are both happy to spend the xmas with our parents etc & then meet up st stephens day. We do plan to spend xmas day together when /if married but not until then. As for listing my family etc. - well we have not made that commitment to each other at this stage. I really think it depends on your level of commitment etc to each other.