Too busy for relationship but still need sex

LegacyUser

My career has taken off in the last couple of years and its very intense. I like it though, Im pretty much a workaholic anyway so 18 hour days are fairly standard for me. I also travel alot for the job- one of the reasons Ive been doing so well in my job is that I have made it clear that I will relocate at the drop of a hat, and will be available 24/7/365 so if I get a call at 3 in the morning to go to Asia, America or Europe for the next month(or 6) then Im ready to go.

This obviously doesnt make for great relationships and to be honest Im not really into relationships anyway. I dont have a problem with women or any issues with relationships. I've had relationships when I was younger (Im 30) and I get female attention which Im sure I could turn into dating if I had the time/inclination.

There are women in my professional circles but I have no interest in mixing business with pleasure either so they are off limits (professional client relationships are very important in my line of work). I dont want to get involved in a casual NSA relationship either because I dont think they really work so the only thing I can really think of is professional escorts.

Ive never given escorts any consideration before, in alot of ways I would be worried about the morality- are these women victims of exploitation, plus is this something that would come back to haunt me (are these people dodgy characters)? I grew up with a very typical catholic view of sex so im not sure if Im being a prude or is this something that is common- In some of the countries Ive been in it doesnt seem like a big deal- in fact they advertise in some of the hotels I stayed in (which I assumed were respectable).

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Fizman

Unregistered wrote: »

I dont want to get involved in a casual NSA relationship either because I dont think they really work so the only thing I can really think of is professional escorts.

Correct me if i'm wrong OP, but are you saying that you'd rather pay top dollar for NSA sex with an escort instead of having NSA sex with a stranger who you'd meet in a bar? If that is what you meant, i'm struggling to understand the logic behind it.

You say that you have no time for a proper relationship, but you still need sex. Yet you also say that the whole NSA thing doesn't work for you? I would have imagined that NSA sex with women you bump into randomly here and there is exactly what you'd want, and would suit you down to the ground?

Unregistered wrote: »

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Thats for you to decide OP, but ask yourself this. If you had a sister and she came to you in confidence, explaining that she has chosen a career as an escort girl, would you look at your little sister with pride, with the belief that she is a 'professional', or would you have this sick feeling in your stomach?

Nevyn

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

grizzly

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

Was going the say the same. Surly they're career women in the same boat who you could hook up with?

Galvasean

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

He did mention that some of the hotels he stays in advertise them, so I would assume in those places it is not against the law.
That said OP, you would be best to read up on laws regarding such services in the respective countries (if you decide to go down that road) before doing anything, just to be on the safe side.

LegacyUser

Fizman wrote: »

Correct me if i'm wrong OP, but are you saying that you'd rather pay top dollar for NSA sex with an escort instead of having NSA sex with a stranger who you'd meet in a bar? If that is what you meant, i'm struggling to understand the logic behind it.

You say that you have no time for a proper relationship, but you still need sex. Yet you also say that the whole NSA thing doesn't work for you? I would have imagined that NSA sex with women you bump into randomly here and there is exactly what you'd want, and would suit you down to the ground?



Thats for you to decide OP, but ask yourself this. If you had a sister and she came to you in confidence, explaining that she has chosen a career as an escort girl, would you look at your little sister with pride, with the belief that she is a 'professional', or would you have this sick feeling in your stomach?

Sorry my fault, I should have been clearer, due to the amount of time I spend at work the only women I come in contact with are work colleagues/clients, the reason I wouldnt embark on a casual relationship with them is the possibility it would cuase issues in work

Overheal

If thats your thing, explore the escort thing by all means. Do a little research just to find out if its really what you want. Obviously you could always try clubbing and one night stands but I guess its really a question of whether you feel you have the time. At the end of the day its a life choice, and not one that many would consider. But then again there arent that many of us that would work as intensely as you do.

Chucky the tree

Unregistered wrote: »

There are women in my professional circles but I have no interest in mixing business with pleasure either so they are off limits (professional client relationships are very important in my line of work). I dont want to get involved in a casual NSA relationship either because I dont think they really work so the only thing I can really think of is
professional escorts.

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Fizman wrote: »

Correct me if i'm wrong OP, but are you saying that you'd rather pay top dollar for NSA sex with an escort instead of having NSA sex with a stranger who you'd meet in a bar? If that is what you meant, i'm struggling to understand the logic behind it.

I presume NSA relationship means **** buddy. And I take it the problem with a stranger in a bar is to time consuming for him?

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

Are escorts illegal? I thought you just paid them to spend time with you, but whatever they did in that time was up to themselves.

Unregistered wrote: »

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Well, if you went to an escort on saturday night and went into a work meeting on the monday and were asked what you did over the weekend would you be happy to admit it infront of everyone?;)

In saying that I wouldnt knock anyone for doing, certainly not someone who is single. If you can get over the morality crap of it yourself then go for it.

The website idea isnt bad either.

Overheal

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Are escorts illegal? I thought you just paid them to spend time with you, but whatever they did in that time was up to themselves.

That is precisely the loophole they operate under, yes. Street corner prostitution is the illegal one.

Koushki

Unregistered wrote: »

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Personally, i would lose interest in a man straight away if i found out he hired an escort for sex. I just think it's vile. But then again you're not looking for a relationship so this might not affect you in anyway.

LegacyUser

Paying for sex with a woman is always expoiltative, whether it is a high paid hooker(escort) or a girl on the street. Any woman that has to resort to selling herself to strangers is already in a vulnerable postition and is only doning it because she is desperate for money. Whether it's for drugs or to support a lifestyle beyond her means. It generally attracts those with low self esteem and who are already damaged either through previous abuse or addictions. Not to mention the beautiful forgein women who have been trafficed illegally and are working against their will as sex slaves. I don't know how you find out which women are doing it purely as a job, but you'll find them few and fair between. It always amazes me how men can ignore those simple facts and intsead prefer to delude themselves that the women actually enjoys it. Seriously, they hate you every second of it.

No sane woman would choose prostitution as a profession. And no man would like his mother, sister or partner to work as a prostitute. And therein lises your answer.

You'd be better off having a one night stand. At least you're shagging as equals.

lmtduffy

I think your better off going for one night stands if possible,

and on the post stating its exploiting women,

that's not always true,
with that logic it is wrong to hire some one to clean your toilet or to fix your plumbing as obviously any person who has to resort to pulling crap out of a toilet or cleaning vomit of the floor is obviously desperate for money and has some psychological issues and drug problem which has left them unable to decide how to live their lives.

Wagon

It isn't exploitation, if these girls want to make a living like this then let em. You both know where you stand at least. There's been a few times where I've been with girls, thought it would go somewhere and it never did because all they wanted was their hole. It happens the other way round as well just as much. so rather then risking hurting someones feelings, use the escort service. You both know where you stand, protect yourself and work away. Wouldn't choose either option myself but I'm not in your position workwise. Guess I'd think differently otherwise.

EamonnKeane

Unregistered wrote: »

Paying for sex with a woman is always expoiltative, whether it is a high paid hooker(escort) or a girl on the street. Any woman that has to resort to selling herself to strangers is already in a vulnerable postition and is only doning it because she is desperate for money. Whether it's for drugs or to support a lifestyle beyond her means. It generally attracts those with low self esteem and who are already damaged either through previous abuse or addictions. Not to mention the beautiful forgein women who have been trafficed illegally and are working against their will as sex slaves. I don't know how you find out which women are doing it purely as a job, but you'll find them few and fair between. It always amazes me how men can ignore those simple facts and intsead prefer to delude themselves that the women actually enjoys it. Seriously, they hate you every second of it.

No sane woman would choose prostitution as a profession. And no man would like his mother, sister or partner to work as a prostitute. And therein lises your answer.

You'd be better off having a one night stand. At least you're shagging as equals.

I don't think that's entirely true, a lot of people like the idea of earning €300 an hour or whatever. And not all prostitutes are women, either.

Dragan

Unregistered wrote: »

Paying for sex with a woman is always expoiltative, whether it is a high paid hooker(escort) or a girl on the street. Any woman that has to resort to selling herself to strangers is already in a vulnerable postition and is only doning it because she is desperate for money. Whether it's for drugs or to support a lifestyle beyond her means. It generally attracts those with low self esteem and who are already damaged either through previous abuse or addictions. Not to mention the beautiful forgein women who have been trafficed illegally and are working against their will as sex slaves. I don't know how you find out which women are doing it purely as a job, but you'll find them few and fair between. It always amazes me how men can ignore those simple facts and intsead prefer to delude themselves that the women actually enjoys it. Seriously, they hate you every second of it.

No sane woman would choose prostitution as a profession. And no man would like his mother, sister or partner to work as a prostitute. And therein lises your answer.

You'd be better off having a one night stand. At least you're shagging as equals.

How many prostitutes do you know? Personally i have known two, and neither fits that bill.

Aloysius Flyte

Unregistered wrote: »

In some of the countries Ive been in it doesnt seem like a big deal- in fact they advertise in some of the hotels I stayed in (which I assumed were respectable).

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

It is dirty and it is sleazy.

I'm interested in these hotels and countries, are they western where women are treated as equals in society?

I know certainly in Dubai and Abu Dhabi the plush hotels offer that service, indeed if you bring someone in who isn't on their payroll they don't like it and its charged on your bill.

Its distateful, exploititative and I'm genuinely shocked that a 'high flyer' who I assume is educated is actually asking the question.

LegacyUser

OP here, I first came across this issue when I was staying in Vienna- I had a day to spare when a client's flight was delayed. I went down to the hotels service desk to look through the pamphlets for local city tours, it was there I first saw a few brochures for escort services (I took the open top bus tour of the city just in case you're wondering)

Since then I have seen similar brochures in hotels in Spain (Madrid), the Netherlands (Amsterdam- probably not surprising), Denmark (Copenhagen) and Czech Rep (Prague).

It's certainly something I've always associated with being "wrong" but then I've always had a fairly conservative view of sex (catholic), since travelling Im not so sure this view is necessarily "right" or "wrong" though I certainly do view exploitation of anybody as wrong.

lmtduffy

distasteful and tasteful is a matter of well taste.

Exploitative, it is not, if both people consent and agree its their decision.

LegacyUser

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

It is dirty and it is sleazy.

I'm interested in these hotels and countries, are they western where women are treated as equals in society?

I know certainly in Dubai and Abu Dhabi the plush hotels offer that service, indeed if you bring someone in who isn't on their payroll they don't like it and its charged on your bill.

Its distateful, exploititative and I'm genuinely shocked that a 'high flyer' who I assume is educated is actually asking the question.

OP here, I dont think they work for the hotel as such, though I assume they have permission to advertise in the hotel- the brochures do seem to be high quality professionally designed- very business like, (though I do not know how accurately the brochure represents the escort firms as I have not used one)

alices_wonder

Unregistered wrote: »

Paying for sex with a woman is always expoiltative, whether it is a high paid hooker(escort) or a girl on the street. Any woman that has to resort to selling herself to strangers is already in a vulnerable postition and is only doning it because she is desperate for money. Whether it's for drugs or to support a lifestyle beyond her means. It generally attracts those with low self esteem and who are already damaged either through previous abuse or addictions. Not to mention the beautiful forgein women who have been trafficed illegally and are working against their will as sex slaves. I don't know how you find out which women are doing it purely as a job, but you'll find them few and fair between. It always amazes me how men can ignore those simple facts and intsead prefer to delude themselves that the women actually enjoys it. Seriously, they hate you every second of it.

No sane woman would choose prostitution as a profession. And no man would like his mother, sister or partner to work as a prostitute. And therein lises your answer.

You'd be better off having a one night stand. At least you're shagging as equals.

I could not agree more, if you seriously let your entire life be consumed by work to such an extent I really don't feel its fair for some poor woman to have to pay the price by being paid to have sex with you.

go for NSA either that or do the smart thing and change your life so your sexual life doesn't suffer so much and you're not screwing over the vulnerable and exploited

Piste

Would you really have sex with a woman who not only has no romantic feelings for you, but is hating you every moment of the act? Could you really enjoy that?

I'm not saying you'd deifnitely get a protitute like that, but there's a very night chance that you'll end up picking up a woman who has been forced into the job by pimps or by horrible circumstances.

I think it would be more morally sound to pick up women for one night stands in a bar- cheaper too.

lmtduffy

believe it or not these "poor woman" have rights too, if you don't remember their were lots of "poor women" in laundries in this country not so long ago.

things get quiet difficult when you start making assumptions about what's best for people, and when you you presume their been driven to something.

If they are trying to fund a drugs problem, if they have been trafficked into the sex trade, if they are poor, these are problem of drugs, people trafficking and poverty and these are the things you have a problem with not prostitution.

If you wish to help people in sex slavery legislate to stop sex slavery

if you wish to help people control their drug habit legislate drug use and treatment

if you wish to help people in poverty legislate to relieve those in poverty.

but if you think prostitution is sick and illegal, keep your morals to your self and dont interfere with how the rest of us live our lives.

Aloysius Flyte

lmtduffy wrote: »

believe it or not these "poor woman" have rights too, if you don't remember their were lots of "poor women" in laundries in this country not so long ago.

things get quiet difficult when you start making assumptions about what's best for people, and when you you presume their been driven to something.

If they are trying to fund a drugs problem, if they have been trafficked into the sex trade, if they are poor, these are problem of drugs, people trafficking and poverty and these are the things you have a problem with not prostitution.

If you wish to help people in sex slavery legislate to stop sex slavery

if you wish to help people control their drug habit legislate drug use and treatment

if you wish to help people in poverty legislate to relieve those in poverty.

but if you think prostitution is sick and illegal, keep your morals to your self and dont interfere with how the rest of us live our lives.

You are contradicting yourself there and your theories on how to stop these issues are simplistic and show a lack of understanding on the issue and basic economics, supply and demand.

Let's just leave out morals, taste and say unequivically that Prostitution is WRONG. Anyone who thinks or believes otherwise has a disturbing view and lack of respect for women.

JDLK

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Let's just leave out morals, taste and say unequivically that Prostitution is WRONG.

That isnt strictly true, you cant say something is "wrong" unless you can define right and wrong. in Irish society "right and wrong" are defined by the civil authority- prostitution in Irish society can therefore be called "wrong" in the legal context as it is contrary to our laws. However in Holland prostitution is legal and is therefore "right" as far as the civil authority is concerned.

Moral frameworks (often derived from social norms, religious beliefs, personal experience etc) are personal beliefs and it is those that are often used to determine "right" and "wrong" from a persons own unique perspective and remain subjective. In order to call anything wrong you must either apply a moral framework or a legal framework- (often these are interdependant)

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

You are contradicting yourself there and your theories on how to stop these issues are simplistic and show a lack of understanding on the issue and basic economics, supply and demand.

Let's just leave out morals, taste and say unequivically that Prostitution is WRONG. Anyone who thinks or believes otherwise has a disturbing view and lack of respect for women.

Lol, quite the huge contradiction there.

A lack f respect for women? Your the one turning around and telling a women what she can/cant do as a way of earning a living. Also, prostitution is just done by women. I'd be interested to know what people see as being the difference between being a pornstar and a hooker, or is it jsut the legality issue? Or should women be told they cant do porn so we can show off how much we 'respect' them?

Gareth37

Unregistered wrote: »

My career has taken off in the last couple of years and its very intense. I like it though, Im pretty much a workaholic anyway so 18 hour days are fairly standard for me. I also travel alot for the job- one of the reasons Ive been doing so well in my job is that I have made it clear that I will relocate at the drop of a hat, and will be available 24/7/365 so if I get a call at 3 in the morning to go to Asia, America or Europe for the next month(or 6) then Im ready to go.

This obviously doesnt make for great relationships and to be honest Im not really into relationships anyway. I dont have a problem with women or any issues with relationships. I've had relationships when I was younger (Im 30) and I get female attention which Im sure I could turn into dating if I had the time/inclination.

Isn't having a wife and family not more important than money and sex or am I too old fashioned and religous these days? So you have sex with a girl without love, what then. I mean will this make you happy or just feel empty?

And if you want to meet someone later do you not think that your mental state regarding relationships will be seriously not in line with what relationships are about. I mean if you just have sex with people do you think that you will ever be able to have a serious relationship or will your mind be too distorted?

Unregistered wrote: »

In these modern times is escorting seen as a professional service or dirty/sleazy?

Even in today's world of so called "free choice" this is still illegal and a prison sentence comes with it in this country anyway. Again, do you think that going visiting exploited will make you happy? Is it right to treat women as a piece of flesh, an object that you can buy?

Maybe you should ask your parents for advice on these issues? I wonder what they would say

Chucky the tree

Your sig says it all.

Aloysius Flyte

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Lol, quite the huge contradiction there.

A lack f respect for women? Your the one turning around and telling a women what she can/cant do as a way of earning a living. Also, prostitution is just done by women. I'd be interested to know what people see as being the difference between being a pornstar and a hooker, or is it jsut the legality issue? Or should women be told they cant do porn so we can show off how much we 'respect' them?

I fail to see the contradiction.

Your naivety is amazing or is it just plain ignorance? The term "making a living" is a euphemism for exploitation. Tell me, what do you think is the honest percantage of women who are prostitutes are doing it of their own free will. Far far less than most other people who 'earn their living' by not having sex for money.

It may be a fantasy for lots of people to have sex with prostitutes, it may be yours, but don't try and justify your fantasy by attempting to persuade people that it is ok.

The Sweeper

I can't believe people are recommending the OP have casual sex through one-night-stands.

At least an expensive escort - the kind who a hotel has on their books - there is a high chance she is regularly checked for STDs, is very aware of her own sexual health, there is a high chance she always uses condoms, there is probably near to zero chance she could get pregnant, and frankly she's most probably very good in bed.

But no, no, you go score a drunk stranger in a nightclub, who could well be even more promiscuous than an escort, who never gets an STD check, who rides anyone bareback or no, whose personal contraception methods you know nothing about and who might be so drunk she accuses you of rape the next day.

Yep, yep that's a much better idea.

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

I fail to see the contradiction.

Your naivety is amazing or is it just plain ignorance? The term "making a living" is a euphemism for exploitation. Tell me, what do you think is the honest percantage of women who are prostitutes are doing it of their own free will. Far far less than most other people who 'earn their living' by not having sex for money.

It may be a fantasy for lots of people to have sex with prostitutes, it may be yours, but don't try and justify your fantasy by attempting to persuade people that it is ok.

If your leaving out your morals and taste, what makes prostitution wrong then?

I couldnt tell you a %, and neither can you.


Ah since explotatiation is your big worry I take it you buy all your food/clothes etc from fair trade companies? Nescafe, coke, nike nearly every multi-national corrupation has never received a cent of your money I hope? Or is it just wrong to exploit people for sex purposes?

Aloysius Flyte

Chucky the tree wrote: »

If your leaving out your morals and taste, what makes prostitution wrong then?

I couldnt tell you a %, and neither can you.


Ah since explotatiation is your big worry I take it you buy all your food/clothes etc from fair trade companies? Nescafe, coke, nike nearly every multi-national corrupation has never received a cent of your money I hope? Or is it just wrong to exploit people for sex purposes?

Arguing about it isn't going to make it right or yourself look any better.
Prositution is WRONG. End of story. You have not given a valid arguement to the contrary.

As for the percantage? You missed my point and I'm not going to bother to explain it.

We are not talking about globalisation and coporate greed. We are talking about the exploitation of women here for sexual purposes.

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Arguing about it isn't going to make it right or yourself look any better.
Prositution is WRONG. End of story. You have not given a valid arguement to the contrary.

As for the percantage? You missed my point and I'm not going to bother to explain it.

We are not talking about globalisation and coporate greed. We are talking about the exploitation of women here for sexual purposes.

If someone wants too sell their body for sex I have no problem with it, and I dont see why you should either. It's there choice. I dont understand how you can say it's wrong, what makes it wrong?

Aloysius Flyte

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Arguing about it isn't going to make it right or yourself look any better.

You have not given a valid arguement to the contrary.

Are you always this confused?
In your opinion it's wrong, and running around with your fingers in your ears yelling "la-la-la it's wrong and I can't hear anything else" is not going to support your point, and most of all, it's not going to help the OP in any manner.


OP: it comes down to a few things. The possible health aspect of things - someone suggested a random woman in a club might be more likely to be infected etc (though I have to admit I'd have assumed the other way around, depends on the legality and so on I suppose) - vs the possibility that the "escort" might be extremely unhappy doing what they do.
You also may want to wonder if this will have any effect on any future relationship you may have; I'm not saying it should or shouldn't, but it's easy to imagine someone saying "I love my gf, feel guilty about having used a prostitute in the past, what do I do" etc.

Aloysius Flyte

Chucky the tree wrote: »

If someone wants too sell their body for sex I have no problem with it, and I dont see why you should either. It's there choice. I dont understand how you can say it's wrong, what makes it wrong?

Ok, I'm clearly going to have to spell this out.

What makes it wrong is that they don't want to sell their body for sex. They are forced to by others. That is exploitation.

Jeeez guys. Can't you see that?

Silverfish

Aloysius Flyte and Chucky the tree, thats enough on this thread.

Take it to pm or Humanities.

Chucky the tree

Aloysius Flyte wrote: »

Ok, I'm clearly going to have to spell this out.

What makes it wrong is that they don't want to sell their body for sex. They are forced to by others. That is exploitation.

Jeeez guys. Can't you see that?

Well done on asking every single prostitute in the world in they are ebing forced. That must of taken along time to do.


Fair enough Silver, apologies to the OP.

LegacyUser

Dragan, The two prostitutes you knew were they friends / family or were you a customer?

Guys when you go to a prostitute you are exploiting women.

Why? Because the vast majority are only in prostitution because they are supporting a drug habit, are forced into it or have fallen on hard times. It is the last industry any woman wants to end up in. You are subjected to brutality, abuse and it forever changes our view of men. It usually impacts negatively on the life of the girl because she can not have a full and open relationship with a man, if she does it is normally fraught with problems. She has to lead a double life as being a prostitute is not something you run home to your family and boast about. There is a reason for that, it is an ugly industry, which is hard on the women involved, even those who are well paid have to make huge sacrifices both emotionally and in terms of the personal life to do so. One would only choose a life like that out of desperation or greed. If it's the latter, it eventually catches up with them as they are stigmatised for life from their profession.

Would you marry a prostitute? The majority of you will say no. Why?
Would you be happy if your sister or wife was a prostitute? The majority will say no. Why?

No woman chooses it as a profession because of the perks. Sleeping with strangers is not an enjoyable experience for any woman. You are deluding yourself if you think it is.

A one night stand is based on attraction, mutual and consentual.
Paying a prostitute for sex has nothing to do with attraction on her part and is basically her lying back and letting you do what you want to her body. That is exploiting a woman.

How do I know this, because I have done outreach work with prostitutes. It is destructive, cruel, damaging and abusive. No matter how much you try to dress it up to ease your conscience or to convince yourself that you are doing nothing wrong, it will not change the fact that all prostitutes end up miserable and loney and screwed up in the head. The majority have major issues and are working in prostitution as a last resort and by supporting that industry you responsible for part of their misery. the ones who are in it purely for the money, are miserable too and very few work without pimps, who are abusive too. So think about the woman you are paying for sex. Why is she there? what brought her to that job or all jobs. And where will she end up? It is not a nice industry. It's touted as the oldest industry in the world, well it's also one of the ugliest.

stovelid

I'm sorry, but it's seriously stretching it to say that every single person (male or female) working in the sex industry is being economically /physically / mentally coerced in some way.

This thread is just going to turn into another prostitution flame-up

OP: I personally wouldn't use an escort, but I see nothing wrong with the 'transaction' as long as there are no pimps, addiction, abuse, or any other coercive factors involved. I would agree with the posters who say that it shouldn't be too hard to hook with like-minded people who just want a NSA encounter. That way, it would be based on attraction rather than commerce.

Overheal

Stovelids right. I guess Im thinking too Hollywood when I say Lost In Translation (or The Terminal) but surely your business does have you cross paths with similarly situationed people, that are always living out of a suitcase?

@ post #37: Humanities Forum is Thataway.

LegacyUser

stovelid wrote: »

I'm sorry, but it's seriously stretching it to say that every single person (male or female) working in the sex industry is being economically /physically / mentally coerced in some way.

It's a hell of a lot more plausible than saying the majority actually choose it as a preffered profession. There may be exceptions, but for the majority it is a nasty business that affects every aspect of their lives and is not a career I would recommend to my nearest and dearest. Nor you, I would imagine. It destroys those who work in the industry, in the main.

I don't want a flame up discussion about prostitution, I'm just giving a reality check on the industry so the OP can make an informed decision. There is a lot of research available on the subject. If you are really interested I suggest you look into it.

A Primal Nut

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are plenty of adult dating websites out there with out having to resort to breaking the law.

Which are full of prostitutes anyway. Or fake profiles - there really aren't many women on the adult dating websites.

OP, you have a massive advantage in that, like me, you travel. This means women know you can't commit and that you could be going home or away from home soon. Therefore they are more likely to see you as one-night stand material. Or a short-time **** buddy. Try normal dating websites etc You have the added advantage of not looking desperate (like a lot of guys on dating websites) because you can just say "I'm looking for people to hang out while I'm here".

The same applies for meeting girls in pubs, etc.

stovelid

Unregistered wrote: »

It's a hell of a lot more plausible than saying the majority actually choose it as a preffered profession.

Never said that the majority chose it. I've no problem accepting that a great deal of prostitutes are forced into it, and I abhor it. I'm totally aware that the reality of prostitution is completely coercive for many prostitutes, which why i mentioned pimps, abuse, and coercion.

With respect, i was assuming that the OP is thinking of the sector of prostitution where the accusation of coercion (given the money earned) is a bit harder to level. When somebody enters prostitution completely of their own volition, it's not my concern, even though I have already said it's not my thing and I would personally use a dating site/service in the OP's situation.

Discodog

I was involved with an Escort Agency in England for 2 years. NONE of the girls were coerced & NONE were exploited. Many were just like your next door neighbour or the girl that you meet down the pub with your mates. They were ordinary women who, for personal reasons had decided to go for this job. Many thought that there was little difference in meeting a guy, letting him buy drinks, dinner & then sleeping with him. They all were perfectly able to differentiate between work & a relationship. Most had Bfs or husbands - some knew, others didn't.

There are girls that are exploited, trafficed, & abused but there are a lot who are not. Unfortunately the prehistoric attitude of the public & legislators in Ireland ensure that the pimps & criminals target Ireland as it is very difficult to run a legal safe business here.

PS I attended a Christening a while ago. The mother & I were the only ones who knew the mother's past. She would say that her €1 million Galway house was the result of a job that she enjoyed.

Piste

I think everyone agrees that some women are coerced into prostitution and some choose it to make money, but what the OP has to consider is does he want to risk possibly traumitising some poor girl for the sake of getting his rocks off? That's just totally selfish and abhorrent. He's looking for NSA sex, so obviously that carries risks with it (STIs, pregnancy etc.) so his best bet is probably to find like-minded girls wherever (clubs, internet) and have sex with them (taking all necessary precautions). That way he knows it's their choice and that they're some way attracted to him.

Motley Crue

Unregistered wrote: »

A one night stand is based on attraction, mutual and consentual.

Thats what the OP needs

The Corinthian

Unregistered wrote: »

My career has taken off in the last couple of years and its very intense. I like it though, Im pretty much a workaholic anyway so 18 hour days are fairly standard for me. I also travel alot for the job- one of the reasons Ive been doing so well in my job is that I have made it clear that I will relocate at the drop of a hat, and will be available 24/7/365 so if I get a call at 3 in the morning to go to Asia, America or Europe for the next month(or 6) then Im ready to go.

Regardless of the whole escort debate, you need to slow down. You can still be a workaholic and be willing to work 24/7/365, but 18 hours day as standard are going to give you a burn out (you're not even getting enough sleep with such hours) and then your career will take a nosedive - I've seen this happen.

As for sex - a fsckbuddy relationship is not difficult to find, either on-line or in real life. Don't be lazy and make the time, also because you need to disconnect from work a little bit more anyway.

Unregistered wrote: »

Would you marry a prostitute? The majority of you will say no. Why?

Social conditioning. Leaving aside the issue of criminality and exploitation, most people recoil from prostitution for moral reasons. Much like the thread where a guy freaked out that his girlfriend had managed to sleep with eight guys, we are brought up to believe that certain behaviour is unacceptable, or even taboo.

The topic reminds me of the old Brendan Behan quote; "the only difference between sex for money and sex for free is that the former normally costs less". And in reality, you will still have no problem finding a mate who is looking to get married, settle down, give up their job and have someone else pay for it - the irony of this somehow not being seen as prostitution is nothing new.

So, would you marry a prostitute? There's a fair chance you will.

fashinmad

OP I totally get where youre coming from!
I am a very busy person, dont want the ties and fuss of a relation ship but i miss sex so much it hurts sometimes! I have lots of male friends in work but mixing business and pleasure is a big no no in my book. But what is a gal to do? I think if you want to meet up with an escort for some fun, then off you go! As long as your safe, you have no one to answer too but your self!

kmick

fashinmad wrote: »

..you have no one to answer too but your self!

That may be the problem - I guess deep down the OP feels uncomfortable about the idea. Trust your instincts OP.

hoppo254

Just go and get an escort jeez if your basing your own moral decision on the posters on this site then you really aren't making your own decisions.

Do this: Go and see an escort...Afterwards how do you feel ? There is your answer. If you feel bad then go to church as a good catholic boy and never do it again.

If you don't feel bad then carry on

beth-lou

The Corinthian wrote: »

The topic reminds me of the old Brendan Behan quote; "the only difference between sex for money and sex for free is that the former normally costs less". And in reality, you will still have no problem finding a mate who is looking to get married, settle down, give up their job and have someone else pay for it - the irony of this somehow not being seen as prostitution is nothing new.

So, would you marry a prostitute? There's a fair chance you will.

I find that offensive. What are you trying to say? That all men pay for sex if they are supporting a wife. Because a wife just sits around all day and spends his money? I think that is highly offensive, considering the sacrifices a woman makes when she decides to give up her career to raise her and her husbands family.

OP, I think there is no way of knowing which escorts are there of their own free will and which ones are there under duress. I also think that all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy, and aside from sex, you really should be getting social interaction outside of work. Personally I would be disgusted if my man told me he had used a prostitute. It's a horrible business that leaves the people workingin it with horrible baggage. I think the fact that you are unsure about it in the first place, shows that already you know there is something not quite right about it. If you can guarantee that the lady you pay is doing it simply as a job and isn't under duress then fine. But I on't know how you'd do that.

fashinmad

I would love to have the courage to go and hire a nice hot male escort out for the night!!