Farting In Public

Aidric

Do You?

admiralofthefleet

yeah, i crop dust the bus regularly

Kiera

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

In$omniac

I'm a woman, I don't fart I cough in my knickers :P

Terry

I gave up caring years ago, so yes I do.

Kiera

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

it's true

Turd Ferguson

Kiera wrote: »

we dont have bum-holes!

So where was I putting my......nevermind

admiralofthefleet

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

do you leave 50c under your pillow at night and hope the poo fairy will take them away?

Wertz

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

So where was I putting my......nevermind

She only told you that was her arse so you'd quit annoying her for butt sex...

Big Knox

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

This is true, most of the time the sh1t usually comes out of your mouths!! :pac:

Prof.Badass

Out of courtesy i stand back from the group and let it off somewhere else.

Turd Ferguson

Wertz wrote: »

She only told you that was her arse so you'd quit annoying her for butt sex...

Dammit. I bet that beard wasnt a fake either...wait

Turd Ferguson

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

So where was I putting my......nevermind

did she have an adams apple honey pie?

admiralofthefleet

im looking forward to flutterinbantham's reply

Turd Ferguson

Deleted User wrote: »

did she have an adams apple honey pie?

She said it was a birth mark.

Aw

Turd Ferguson

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

She said it was a birth mark.

Aw

no, I think she said, her birth name was mark

galwayrush

It depends on the company i'm in.:p
Seriously, I timed one of my farts earlier today while i was walking, 33 seconds.:cool:

Aidric

galwayrush wrote: »

I timed one of my farts earlier today while i was walking, 33 seconds.:cool:

Ha, a good trailer is very satisfying, and funny of course.

LEIN

Let rip then turn and look at the person beside me in disgust.

Its really funny the reaction it gets.

Turd Ferguson

Deleted User wrote: »

no, I think she said, her birth name was mark

How could I be so stupid?
Come to think of it I guess her penis was a dead giveaway.

*sigh*

funk-you

All time. I usually let one go, look at the guy beside me with disgust and make sure people see me walking away because he's a stinkbag.

He has to smell my potion and everyone else thinks he's a knacker.

-Funk

minidazzler

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

Then what happened the other night between me and that.......

Wertz

minidazzler wrote: »

Then what happened the other night between me and that.......

That was her colostomy bag.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Aidric wrote: »

Do You?

My best past time... mostly I let them know it's comming... Grab your mate, hold your ass you a part of his/her body and give a big push... See what reaction you get

Berty

Im on a certain natural drug remedy and holy sh*t they really make you fart. Most people become laxitated on them but all i do is fart. And its not just air farts, its clouds of toxic gas.

Shower farts are great. There is a great sound off them.

There is no better smell than your own fart but every so often you let one go that not even you can be around. I had to get out of my own car a few years back it was soo bad.

I farted in a changing room in a shop one day. If anybody knows the Tommy Hilfiger shops they have enclosed changing rooms with full doors(no air in or out). I let one go and left straight away. There was a queue outside so a girl went straight in. I was begging the cashier to get me served and out the door ASAP!

jester77

I always let it out... I still remember the day where I realised it's something not to be ashamed of. It was a Sunday morning, many many moons ago, I was sitting at the back of the church, my da was in the seat in front... he let one rip, a gentle bellow it was... I briefly smiled before my face curled up, he must have been on the Guinness the night before!

Censorsh!t

I only let out the silents
and then blame someone else if it smells.

Mc Love

Do men fart more than women?
(Submitted by Bigdude)

No, women fart just as much as men. It's just that most men take more pride in it than most women. There is a large variation among individuals in the amount of fart gas produced per day, but the variation does not correlate with gender.
I have read that men fart more often than women. If this is true, then women must be saving it up and expelling more gas per fart than men do


http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

rainbow kirby

The fun of letting one rip is not something that should be reserved for teh menz.

Berty

If you are in a committed and comfortable relationship then the woman will have no problem farting in front of you.

"Herself" will open the window whilst I am driving and lift her left cheek and squeeze one out. I mean, seriously, I have no way of escaping. :mad:

Happily sits on the armchair and squeezes one out.

Mention it outside the relationship and she will murder me. Women apparently do not fart, ****, burp or need to lose weight.

Seeing her sister lift her arms up to reveal her hairy arms made me believe that women should be hairless and permanently clean and never have had a sexual relationship prior to meeting another man.

Oh yeah, FAO Women. We know you masturbate!

samhail

Look to your company and say... "I think we need to move".

Its a code.

ShooterSF

When its silent I like to turn around and say something like "that was a good one" to the usual reply "what was a good on.... oh god sick man!!!"

dSTAR

Deleted User wrote: »

did she have an adams apple honey pie?

Ooops .. busted

Ross_Mahon

If i farted in public, you would know all about it! I could make a skunk turn over in his grave.

stovelid

Depends on level of drunkenness. Unless shit-faced, I'll make a token it-was-him-gesture, or slip it out, pause and then vacate the area.

Berty

admiralofthefleet

ShooterSF wrote: »

When its silent I like to turn around and say something like "that was a good one" to the usual reply "what was a good on.... oh god sick man!!!"

when i let a big one i say 'anyone injured' or 'speak up caller your through'

Berty

Better an empty house than a bad lodger

admiralofthefleet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn33gc_hUdE

raah!

9am Luas stinkers are my way of "sticking it to the man".

KingLoser

Kiera wrote: »

Girls dont fart! We actually cant, we dont have bum-holes!

I would say something about queefing... but that **** bothers me.

Xavi6

I let an absolute bomb go in the gym last night. Cleared a large section around me and it was very difficult to hold in the laughter.

Guinness farts are always a guarnteed success the day after a night out.

admiralofthefleet

Xavi6 wrote: »

I let an absolute bomb go in the gym last night. Cleared a large section around me and it was very difficult to hold in the laughter.

Guinness farts are always a guarnteed success the day after a night out.

i let a fart go in the bookies years ago after a night on guinness and indian food, i cleared the whole bookies and it came to be known as the 'stanley racing incident'. im sure the smell is still there after all these years

FlutterinBantam

Folks, this is not a laughing matter.

Gas held too long in the intestine can cause some damage,and therefore it's best to "blow out the pipes" at the earliest opportunity.

I felt a howitzer coming on out on the golf course yesterday,so without thinking,puffed out the rusty bullet hole,and let go a rozzer that shook the trees.

Unfortunately I didn't spot two ladies on an adjacent tee.

Continentals are much freer with their wind as I found out at Dublin airport.

Two young well dressed ladies with a middle aged stout gentleman looking at the flight monitors down at the "B"gates. Just as I passed the gent unloads a loud machine gun like ripper a "string of pearls" fcukin back of the trousers was flapping!! Not even a nod or flinch from the females!!Just carried on as if nothing had happened.

Don't hold back people.

Mc Love

quirke_folder wrote: »

Oh yeah, FAO Women. We know you masturbate!

Of course they do!

Guru Maith Agut

Kiera wrote: »

we dont have bum-holes!

So where was I last night?

Zangetsu

I was sitting beside my bro on the luas, an old man was sitting across from us. I let an absolute stinker out, silent ofc. One of those dirty hunger farts that you can actually taste. The old man looked up at my brother in disgust and my brother looked at him the same way. Nothing was said.

We got off at the next stop and my brother goes to me. "That smelly fook on the luas farted, ****in stank! He looked at me as if I did it!" I nearly fell over laughing...

mcauley

Guru Maith Agut wrote: »

So where was I last night?

azezil

I let them rip while I'm walking around... or if walking around isn't an option I make it as loud and possible and laugh hysterically.

CreepingDeath

Guru Maith Agut wrote: »

So where was I last night?

Still only cockers deep in the flabby buttocks.

iPlop

let rip normally ,but today there a bit funky cos i had a chicken madras last night and i have had to put the "reverse thrust" into action a few
times today.Also handy tip after eating madras or vindaloo.Put huggies
alchahol free baby wipes in the fridge when goin to bed ,there a Fcukin' legend at 6am when yer on the pot and you have magma flowing out yer ass;)