Speed Seducing a Chickie Babe

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 8:15am #1

OK so I have a girl coming to meet me at my joint shortly. We met online and haven't actually met in person. Its been a while since I have been put through my paces. What should I do so the transition from first contact to the getting it on is as seamless as possible? Bear in mind I may need to refer to this thread throughout the evening so keep it short and sweet ;-)

Gikkerface · 15-11-2008 8:21am

Dont kick her. Girls dont like to be kicked.

Ply her with wine. Works a treat.

watna · 15-11-2008 8:22am

Wait. I always thought you were a girl... or are you a girl that is in to girls?

I'm confused!

NewFrockTuesday · 15-11-2008 8:23am

You havent met yet and youre letting her know where you live?:eek: Holy moly! Be careful! And shes more the fool for coming! (No offence OP)

Is it a booty call?

Prolly dont call her Chickie babe...that'd be a good start

And...er...yah....dont kick her...

mayordenis · 15-11-2008 8:24am

booze and lots of it

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 8:26am

I have lots of lollywater at the ready

Dammit shes here

GTG

brianthebard · 15-11-2008 8:27am

You're asking boards? Fail number one there dude.

edit: have fun! Don't forget to take pics for us!

NewFrockTuesday · 15-11-2008 8:29am

Ive done a few internet dates. I bet theres some trog face standing at the door, 10 years older than what she said she was and an arse you could park a bike in.

He'll prolly need the wine more than her:D

Title of next thread: How do I get speed rid of my internet date trog from my joint?

seanybiker · 15-11-2008 8:31am

yeah definately dont kick her thats great advice. And listen to brianthebard we want pics. How about doing an american pie and putting web cam on.

NewFrockTuesday · 15-11-2008 8:35am

Its a lovely morning over here dStar

Heres a romantic Irish sunrise to get the mood going....

seanybiker · 15-11-2008 8:38am

Deepsense wrote: »

Its a lovely morning over here dStar

Heres a romantic Irish sunrise to get the mood going....

Paint yer wall boy

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 8:40am

She left already :-(

Seriously she forgot her guitar. It was supposed to be a impromptu jam session. So I have a window of opportunity to polish my spiel. Where are all my PUA friends when I need them?

Incidentally she looks better in real life than she does online. Hopefully she comes back otherwise its back to my sad online existence ...

Any tip?

NewFrockTuesday · 15-11-2008 8:42am

It is!!!!

Its my neighbours that havent!

Boy?

:eek:

*checks*

Mr. CooL ICE · 15-11-2008 8:43am

Rohypnol!!!

Seriously, it took 14 posts? Jeez...

watna · 15-11-2008 8:44am

dSTAR wrote: »

She left already :-(

Seriously she forgot her guitar. It was supposed to be a impromptu jam session. So I have a window of opportunity to polish my spiel. Where are all my PUA friends when I need them?

Incidentally she looks better in real life than she does online. Hopefully she comes back otherwise its back to my sad online existence ...

Any tip?

Have you got wine? candles? some nibbles? I suggest some nice chocolate based item.

also, turn the heating up so she has to take clothes off (oh wait, you're in aus and they don't have central heating - plus it's summer). Hmm - make sure it's warm anyway is what I'm saying.

seanybiker · 15-11-2008 8:45am

ha ha she called for a jam but forgot guitar. Did you send her a pic of yourself or someone else over the net.

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 8:47am

LordChessington wrote: »

Rohypnol!!!

Seriously, it took 14 posts? Jeez...

Don't have any roofies unfortunately.

I do have some benzos but they are more anti-anxiety. I guess if I crush up enough and put them into her half finished drink it might loosen her up.

Jeezuz I can't believe I am actually entertaining that idea.

Must be nervous

NewFrockTuesday · 15-11-2008 8:51am

Define "jam" please?

brianthebard · 15-11-2008 8:52am

seanybiker wrote: »

ha ha she called for a jam but forgot guitar. Did you send her a pic of yourself or someone else over the net.

Yeah what's the deal there? Maybe you scared her op.

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 8:53am

seanybiker wrote: »

ha ha she called for a jam but forgot guitar. Did you send her a pic of yourself or someone else over the net.

I can't believe you actually said those words.

I don't believe I look too shabby. She did say I looked better in real life.

OK I should just keep drinking. Might be a loneliest night of the week to quote a Sinatra song.

c - 13 · 15-11-2008 8:54am

She called over for a jam session but forgot her guitar. This could mean one of two things -

(1) She aint coming back
(2) Shes exceptionally stupid, try enticing her into the bedroom with a shiny object like a mirror or tinfoil.

seanybiker · 15-11-2008 8:59am

dSTAR wrote: »

I can't believe you actually said those words.

I don't believe I look too shabby. She did say I looked better in real life.

OK I should just keep drinking. Might be a loneliest night of the week to quote a Sinatra song.

lol ya never know she might have worn her granny knickers to make sure something didnt happen. Then she seen ya and is gone home to put a piece me string on. She might have a nob either

damo86 · 15-11-2008 9:02am

c - 13 wrote: »

She called over for a jam session but forgot her guitar. This could mean one of two things -

(1) She aint coming back
(2) Shes exceptionally stupid, try enticing her into the bedroom with a shiny object like a mirror or tinfoil.

me thinks "forgetting her guitar" was a escape plan, just in case your where a hugh disappointment, maybe your still are...we'll soon find out!

Hmmm, shiny objects may not work here, there are brain cells present.

c - 13 · 15-11-2008 9:04am

damo86 wrote: »

me thinks "forgetting her guitar" was a escape plan, just in case your where a hugh disappointment, maybe your still are...we'll soon find out!

Hmmm, shiny objects may not work here, there are brain cells present.

Shiny objects are only for if she does come back, hence she actually did forget the guitar.

dSTAR · 15-11-2008 9:46am

Just to clarify the situation she is here. Having a smoko on the veranda. Its a pretty warm evening so I might just have to switch it up in others ways.

Flyer1 · 15-11-2008 10:11am

Maybe she reads boards too :rolleyes:

Berty · 15-11-2008 10:11am

dSTAR wrote: »

Just to clarify the situation she is here. Having a smoko on the veranda. Its a pretty warm evening so I might just have to switch it up in others ways.

WTF are you doing talking to us. Get out there and make her swoon, then stick a dart into her. LOL

Its always hard to leave when you are lying on top of them

c - 13 · 15-11-2008 10:15am

Everytime I see the title of this thread on the main page I keep reading it as "Seducing a chunky babe"

Nerin · 15-11-2008 10:20am

c - 13 wrote: »

Everytime I see the title of this thread on the main page I keep reading it as "Seducing a chunky babe"

I thought it meant there was a girly girl descending into drug addiction

Black Swan · 15-11-2008 10:37am

dSTAR wrote: »

OK so I have a girl coming to meet me at my joint shortly. We met online and haven't actually met in person.

Do you still have both your kidneys? I hear there's a market for them...

TPD · 15-11-2008 10:58am

Is the OP a guy or a girl? Really girly avatar.

SimpleSam06 · 15-11-2008 11:41am

LordChessington wrote: »

Rohypnol!!!

These are recessionary times, a sock filled with sand should do the trick.

antodeco · 15-11-2008 2:11pm

SimpleSam06 wrote: »

These are recessionary times, a sock filled with sand should do the trick.

Once its not one of his "single socks" he uses for "self entertainment"...

dlofnep · 15-11-2008 2:16pm

Walk over behind her slowly, lean over and sniff her hairly deeply. Let the air out with an orgasmic look on your face and say "Shampoo makes me horny."

Then bang her six ways til Sunday and don't come back here until you have pics.

Terry · 15-11-2008 2:16pm

dSTAR wrote: »

Don't have any roofies unfortunately.

I do have some benzos but they are more anti-anxiety. I guess if I crush up enough and put them into her half finished drink it might loosen her up.

Jeezuz I can't believe I am actually entertaining that idea.

Must be nervous

Hide the fúcking benzos quickly.
Internet wimmen are crazy bitches.

RoundyMooney · 15-11-2008 2:46pm

Am I the only cynical bastard that thinks she stayed with her guitar and never came back?

TequilaMockingBird · 15-11-2008 2:47pm

TERRY!!!!!
Where you beeeeeeeeeen?!!1!!?!1

Oh. Yes internet wimmin are crazy.

Dave! · 15-11-2008 2:48pm

Seriously what the hell is this?

dr.bollocko · 15-11-2008 2:50pm

Dave! wrote: »

Seriously what the hell is this?

I think only non non drinkers get it!

TequilaMockingBird · 15-11-2008 2:50pm

Dave! wrote: »

Seriously what the hell is this?

Its the internet. Welcome.

weeder · 15-11-2008 3:00pm

distract her with an RTE guide and then shlide the log in

Terry · 15-11-2008 3:01pm

Dave! wrote: »

Seriously what the hell is this?

Some dude got an internet chick to come over to his house and decided to ask for help here while she was in the ouse.
That's what I got from it anyway.

Sueme, I've been around.