How would you react if a team mate told you he is gay?

Sin É

Lads, can you tell me honestly how you think you would react if a team mate told you he is gay...

What about the showers/changing rooms? Would that be a problem for you?

Do any of you know any gay guys playing on your team or in the club. Any bad reactions?

An Citeog

Edit: Sorry, my bad! Wrong end of the stick!:o

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest tbh but I can only really speak for myself. Some lads might find it a bit unusual/weird for a couple of weeks but would soon get over it.

smashey

Easy on there Citeog. I saw Sin É's dilemma in another forum.

Sin É, while most of the guys in your club will probably accept it, there will always be one or two small minded idiots who will have a problem with it. Also, as you alluded to elsewhere, your opposition might revel in it if you know what I mean. I've been in a few teams over the years in GAA, Soccer and Rugby and I never came across anything like this so can't comment on possible reactions. It's more than likely that your team mates will find out so it might be a good idea initially to confide in one or two of them that you are closest to.

GAAman

Wouldnt bother me in the slightest to be honest. At the end of the day it isnt like he is gonna bend you over in the changin rooms and have his way with you!

patmac

Apologies drink and boards shouldn't mix, no offence intended.

Boston

Would you care to elaborate about Donal óg? I'm not interested in rumors.

smashey

patmac wrote: »

Christ not another thread on Donal óg leave the Cork hurlers alone will ya,

Boston wrote: »

Would you care to elaborate about Donal óg? I'm not interested in rumors.

patmac infracted.

Let's not get involved in any rumours here and stick to the topic.

homerjay2005

Boston wrote: »

Would you care to elaborate about Donal óg? I'm not interested in rumors.

elaborate? nothing to elaborate on, its plane and simple really.

bit unfair to be discussing this lads, even though he is not the most popular of lads on here.

Boston

The thread isn't about this other player or any player in the 'public domain'. I'll vouch for the OP if needed.

smashey

Just a note to anybody thinking of posting here. The OP's query is genuine.

Now, anymore posts that do not respond to the initial question will lead to an instant ban.

noaces

Sin É wrote: »

Lads, can you tell me honestly how you think you would react if a team mate told you he is gay...

What about the showers/changing rooms? Would that be a problem for you?

Do any of you know any gay guys playing on your team or in the club. Any bad reactions?

I play soccer rugby and GAA. It is my opinion that this news would be better accepted in soccer or rugby circles than GAA. Mainly because the GAA has a lot more involvement from people of the older generation. Who are more likely to make an issue of it. A lot depends where you are too. Chances are if you are with a club in a big city it will be easier than being with a small country club in the back of beyonds. Best of luck with it anyway.

Kingdom

noaces wrote: »

I play soccer rugby and GAA. It is my opinion that this news would be better accepted in soccer or rugby circles than GAA. Mainly because the GAA has a lot more involvement from people of the older generation. Who are more likely to make an issue of it. A lot depends where you are too. Chances are if you are with a club in a big city it will be easier than being with a small country club in the back of beyonds. Best of luck with it anyway.

I'd agree with this completely. I'd have to say I'd have zero problem with it myself. I've never played on a team with someone who has been "outed" as such, but I can think of a few lads who I'd be pretty sure were gay.

Always laugh when you hear about small communities making a fuss over gay people or people of other nationalities, when there is always something far worse or illegal going on amongst there own crew,

run_Forrest_run

I wouldn't bother in the slightest, but I would probably have to ask you "Why are you even telling people?"

Unless the sport is explicitly called 'Heterosexual Hurling' or something along those lines it is of no relevance or interest to fellow team members!

There will always be a handful of eejits who might have a problem with it but sure people have problems with other people all the time without knowing their sexual orientation so hey, life goes on.

seanybiker

wouldnt bother me. I dont imagine gay people wanna do everyone so i imagine showers would be just usual.

yahoo_moe

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

I would probably have to ask you "Why are you even telling people?"

I'd agree with this. I didn't walk into my first training session and say "Lads, I'm straight" so why should you have to say anything either?

If it's likely that people are going to find out, then be prepared for some friendly slagging from most (I'd imagine) and maybe the odd bit of weirdness from a few (possible but not definite) but above all, don't let it turn you away from a sport you enjoy.

Note: I'm basing this on my own experiences playing junior hurling - whatever about possible differences between cities and the country, I think you're more likely to encounter difficulties in younger age groups than adult groups. But as I'd see it, you should be fine.

Boston

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

I wouldn't bother in the slightest, but I would probably have to ask you "Why are you even telling people?"

Unless the sport is explicitly called 'Heterosexual Hurling' or something along those lines it is of no relevance or interest to fellow team members!

I think I can answer that question. People you are on a team with are more then just colleagues or the like, they'll often be your friends and people you care about and have a desire to be yourself around. Holding back something like your sexuality can raise barriers between you and the people around you, effectively isolating you from them. They can get to know you, but only so far because you're always worried about how they would act if they knew the 'fuller' you.

Think of it this way, wouldn't you want to have your Girlfriend at your matches? Talk about meeting up with your partner after training or where you where at the weekend, to your teammates?

wrt to the slagging, would you lads not agree that even in a culture where slagging is predominant, there are things that you don't slag people about? I slag about anything and everything, but when I hit a topic someones not ok with being slagged about, I back off and so do most other people (bar assholes). That could be anything from mother/sister/religion/sexual ability/hair(and lack there of).

run_Forrest_run

Yes Boston I see your point...I suppose there is no easy or quick solution.

The OP has to just have faith in his friends and if he ends up disappointed with their reaction well then at least he will know they aren't real friends.

I also agree with you on the slagging aspect, I've often slagged friends over skin colour & religion but I know my boundaries and once I spot any hint of upset of hostility I will step back and cool it.

careca

Unfortunately Sin E the responses you get here probably won't reflect all the views. No matter what, you will get some people (players) who will probably have an issue with your sexuality. Should this bother you? Absolutely not.

I would agree with another poster that you might be better off telling some close mates on the team first and let the news get out this way, rather than making some grand statement. Once the news is out there, changing and showers should not be any different to before.

zenmonk

lol

smashey

zenmonk wrote: »

lol

Well saying as you left it in your "reason for edit", have a week off to think about it.

Banned.

Yavvy

Im afraid in my club a gay man would not be accepted- at least not without some major shifts in attitude.. and that wont happen cause of the torment the first gay guy would have to go through.. I dont know anyone that would put up with serious abuse to play GAA at Junioor 10 level, so unlikley to happen. Its a sad state of affairs I know ..I just know there are so many people in my club that would have an issue with a gay man. I think finding a bigger more urban club would be safer and easier.

I would be ashamed if any one was run out of my club for reasons like race, sexual preferance...I hope it never happens, for selfish reasons It would mean I would have to leave my club too !

ibuprofen

Something similar happened years ago in my karate club. A guy came out who was in our club. We were all around 16 and I don't think anyone really minded. It was accepted pretty much by everybody. By general consensus he wasn't allowed change with us though. He was fine with it. This was in Dublin.

RichTea

Shoot him. Only way to deal with such an issue....

Nah seriously it really wouldn't bother me and I'd say most people would be the same but I can't speak for others.

Boston

ibuprofen wrote: »

Something similar happened years ago in my karate club. A guy came out who was in our club. We were all around 16 and I don't think anyone really minded. It was accepted pretty much by everybody. By general consensus he wasn't allowed change with us though. He was fine with it. This was in Dublin.

Jesus, that sound horrific. I wouldn't be pleased with being expected to change in another room at all at all.

Sin É

Sin É wrote: »

Lads, can you tell me honestly how you think you would react if a team mate told you he is gay...

What about the showers/changing rooms? Would that be a problem for you?

Do any of you know any gay guys playing on your team or in the club. Any bad reactions?

:eek:

seanybiker

ibuprofen wrote: »

Something similar happened years ago in my karate club. A guy came out who was in our club. We were all around 16 and I don't think anyone really minded. It was accepted pretty much by everybody. By general consensus he wasn't allowed change with us though. He was fine with it. This was in Dublin.

Jaysus thats a bit harsh not leaving him change with ya. Just cos he was gay dont make him a sexual predator and need to seperated from the rest of ye.

kaimera

I'm pretty sure that there is an intercounty player from home that has come out a while back iirc.

I've heard it from a few people at the time and I dont know how it's affecting the team [or if, I obviously cant vouch 100% for the info but it did seem pretty solid]. Didnt seem to affect his play or ours iirc.

*shrug* Dont care either way but it did make for some funny comments from supporters involving balls and tackling -.-

DDC1990

To be honest it wouldn't bother me just as long as he could put the ball over the bar, or make that vital block as good as the next fellah.
It would make for some interesting banter in the showers though.

smashey

rarnes1 wrote: »

:eek:

Have you anything to add to this thread?

blackbelt

OP,the worst that can happen you,as already said,would be that you'd find out who your real friends are.Personally,if any teammate of mine was gay or came out unexpectedly,it wouldn't change my opinion of the person one bit.

The club/team is where people come to make friends and play football/hurling.At least that is the basic premise of the club.However,that doesn't stop bad apples joining or narrow minded people who slag of homosexals.As suggested,if you feel very uncomfortable about coming out to your clubmates,confide in those closest to you.Chances are,they'll tell those closest to them like a domino effect and any narrow minded people will more than likely be told to cop on or will be made to feel unwelcome due to their prejudice.Just think of the film "12 Angry Men" with the scene of the racist juror.

Good luck.

shay_562

Boston wrote: »

Jesus, that sound horrific. I wouldn't be pleased with being expected to change in another room at all at all.

If it happened now, I'd be pissed. If it happened when I was 16...meh. I'd probably have gone along with it for the sake of ease. Kids are stupid, and it's usually pointless to argue with them.

weebelly

Compared to a couple of decades ago, how many GAA players don't know someone who is gay? Surely most of them do (of course a lot of posters will now claim they don't).
OP - I wouldn't care personally - but in reality, you know it would be a story in any team - but, importantly, it would only be such for a week or two - then it would be replaced by something else (fat corner back runs length of the pitch to miss open net, midfielder caught in the act with some monster etc), but such is life. You know yourself - if you were the ultimate GAA idol (county player/4 All-Stars/2 All-Irelands) - everyone would still be looking for something to slag you for - its the nature of the interaction in dressing rooms and teams/squads. Expect the slagging to pass as quickly as it starts.

Sin É

Cheers lads for your thoughts and opinions.

It's sort of a relief for me that most replies here are positive but I do see one or two deleted messages. I guess that's how it would be at the club actually...most people will be fine about it with one or two exceptions perhaps.

Actually the big thing for me is the whole rumour mill around the club that would inevitably follow the revealing of such a thing...'did ye hear your man from that team is gay' etc. but I'm sure that would fade away after they hear Mary is up the duff with Micko's son or whatever comes round next.

It hasn't really been alluded to in any of the posts so far but do any of you actually know an openly gay guy playing on a GAA team?

ibuprofen

seanybiker wrote: »

Jaysus thats a bit harsh not leaving him change with ya. Just cos he was gay dont make him a sexual predator and need to seperated from the rest of ye.

Noone thought that. It was just a general consensus. He didn't mind. Anyway why arn't men allowed into the female changing room.

Boston

ibuprofen wrote: »

Anyway why arn't men allowed into the female changing room.

Social taboos.

Zzippy

Mods, I know the original post referencing a certain player was removed, but his name is still mentioned in one or two posts, think they should be edited. Even if we don't like him, he is entitled not to be named or have inferences drawn about his personal life in a forum like this.

On topic, it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, I know some lads would have a problem with it, but I would have no problem telling them to cop on.

smashey

Zzippy wrote: »

but his name is still mentioned in one or two posts,

Where?

Zzippy

smashey wrote: »

Where?

Posts #6, 7 and 8, including yours!

Tomthepost

smashey wrote: »

Have you anything to add to this thread?

Smashey with respect this is an open discussion and people are fully entitled to express homophobic attitudes on the matter if that is their true feelings on the issue at hand.
I think it is unfair to ban or at least employ that you will ban individuals based on an opinion.
Personally it wouldnt bother me in the slightest if I shared a dressing room with a gay man. In fact I might even ask him to style my hair for me at the end of the training session:)
Im sterotyping I know, but this is a joke and hopefully will be viewed in that light.

Boston

Tomthepost wrote: »

Smashey with respect this is an open discussion and people are fully entitled to express homophobic attitudes on the matter if that is their true feelings on the issue at hand.
I think it is unfair to ban or at least employ that you will ban individuals based on an opinion.

" :eek: " Is not a contribution! Its not an opinion either, I dont know how you can infer its homophobic, I don't know how you can infer its anything but a pointless, useless posts which contributed nothing to the topic at hand. If it had been a homophobic rant, it at least would have served as a counter point.

Tomthepost

Boston wrote: »

" :eek: " Is not a contribution! Its not an opinion either, I dont know how you can infer its homophobic, I don't know how you can infer its anything but a pointless, useless posts which contributed nothing to the topic at hand. If it had been a homophobic rant, it at least would have served as a counter point.

I perceived :eek: to mean that the poster would have that reaction if the situation arose in his dressingroom and all I am saying is that if that is how that poster feels he(she) have the right to say that.
In fairness lets be honest alot people do think this way.

Racing Flat

I think the reaction might depend on how good you are (sadly). If you are the best on the team nothing will probably be said as everyone will be afraid to lose you. If you are AN Other there may be a bit of joking, passive aggression etc. Teams can be fairly superficial like that.

Capt'n Midnight

You'd turn your back on him.

Yavvy

Tomthepost wrote: »

Smashey with respect this is an open discussion and people are fully entitled to express homophobic attitudes on the matter

heh, I love how people think there is free speech on boards.ie.. what with their not being free speech and all. Your entitled to Fu*k all.

I think I will ban anyone that comes on this thread expressing homophobic views for the sake of getting some homophobic comment out there. Add to the discussion or don't bother.

Dont think your hair comment was a joke either ... saying "i was joking" doesnt make it so.

your one comment away from a banning Tom.

Tomthepost

Alany wrote: »

heh, I love how people think there is free speech on boards.ie.. what with their not being free speech and all. Your entitled to Fu*k all.

I think I will ban anyone that comes on this thread expressing homophobic views for the sake of getting some homophobic comment out there. Add to the discussion or don't bother.

Dont think your hair comment was a joke either ... saying "i was joking" doesnt make it so.

your one comment away from a banning Tom.

Are you for real? No need to bother banning me as I think I wont bother my backside coming back here anyway because the mods here now in the GAA are ridiculous in my opinion. In fact it is now worst then the soccer forum in my opinion.
The fact that unfounded allegations about a senior county players sexuality was allowed to float around on this thread for hours yesterday says alot about how good a job ye are doing anyway.
Your job as a mod is surely not to ensure that people who dont share your personal views should be banned from a thread.
I doubt if the opening poster or anyone else for that matter was anyway offended by what I said including my 'hair' comment.
One or two posters deserved to be banned but lets face the truth alot of Irish people are homophobic and if that is the way they feel let them feel that way.
I would like to finish by wishing the opening poster the best of luck with what is facing him (her). You got to realise that not everyone will accept you when you let them know you are gay but Im sure most people will.

yahoo_moe

Sin É wrote: »

It hasn't really been alluded to in any of the posts so far but do any of you actually know an openly gay guy playing on a GAA team?

I don't anyway.

Having said that, one of the gay guys I was in college with certainly had a strong interest in and knowledge of GAA which'd suggest that maybe he was in some way part of the local scene, etc. I know for sure he didn't play though, but I'm not sure if he wanted to or not.

DubArk

ibuprofen wrote: »

Something similar happened years ago in my karate club. A guy came out who was in our club. We were all around 16 and I don't think anyone really minded. It was accepted pretty much by everybody. By general consensus he wasn't allowed change with us though. He was fine with it. This was in Dublin.

And does he have to sit on the back of the bus if your on trips away!!!

Shame on all of you!! :mad:

getz

give him a kiss

lottodrink

Sin É wrote: »

Lads, can you tell me honestly how you think you would react if a team mate told you he is gay...

What about the showers/changing rooms? Would that be a problem for you?

Do any of you know any gay guys playing on your team or in the club. Any bad reactions?

Nah wouldnt bother me. A mate of mine is gay... Just cause a bloke is gay anyway doesnt mean he's gonna stare at ya in the shower(he probably wud if he was attracted to ya though) lol. Anyway I drive home after a match and shower in my own house:D

DubArk

getz wrote: »

give him a kiss

Jayus your a laugh a minute! get some new material.... :rolleyes:

helimachoptor

Have to say now it wouldn't bother me at all