Oldboy remake by... Steven Spielberg (with Will Smith)

Mr E

Yep, that topic title reads like a bad dream, doesn't it? As if the usual Hollywood remakes weren't bad enough, these guys are going to take bad remakes to a whole new level.

Hollywood has been kicking around the idea of remaking Chan-wook Park’s deeply disturbing revenge thriller Oldboy for years. Variety says now those remake plans have fallen into the lap of Steven Spielberg and Will Smith. I can’t imagine anyone worse.

Here’s the problem. Oldboy is one of the most profoundly ****ed up, dark, demented, screwed up movies ever made. It rips your heart right out of your chest, stomps on it, and then lets the credits role. It leaves your head spinning, your mind reeling, and that sick and twisted bent is exactly what makes it so great. Enter Spielberg and Smith, two filmmakers known primarily for making fluffy movies with happy endings.

Granted, Spielberg made Schindler and Saving Private Ryan, but those movies are more aberrations on his filmography. The real Spielberg is the guy who ruined War of the Worlds because he couldn’t resist giving it an unwarranted happy ending. That’s what he does when he’s remaking something. He takes something dark and thought-provoking and makes it glossy and happy. So by the way, does Will Smith. They’re both incredibly talented, but you know what you’re getting with them and what you’re getting is not what Oldboy needs and deserves.

Right now Spielberg and Smith are only in early discussions to collaborate on the remake. DreamWorks is still working on getting the rights to it. So there’s a chance it might not work. Or if it does work, maybe they’ll both stay out of it and simply take an executive producer credit. If you’re going to get a big-name director to do something like this, you need Paul Greengrass or Darren Aronofsky. Spielberg simply will not do.

Oldboy was a Korean movie released in 2003. It tells the story of a man kidnapped and imprisoned in a comfortable cell without any explanation. After 15 years without answers he’s released, and sets off to get revenge. Nothing, and I mean nothing, turns out like you’d expect. Do yourself a favor and give the original movie a rent.

http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Will-Smith-And-Steven-Spielberg-Remake-Oldboy-10798.html

Full_Circle

Surely the notion of a Spielberg/Smith remake is someones idea of a joke? I can’t think of two people less suited to this movie. I deeply disliked the original, so don’t see the point in a remake anyways.

tread_softly

ohgodno.


NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO.

I want to spit the bile that has just formed in my throat all over Spielberg and Will.

Nimrod's Son

Not even the prospect of Will Smith cutting his own tongue out could prompt me to see that. Why the Christ can't foreign movies be left alone??

Basq

Words.. fail... me!

Bubs101

Awesome. Can't wait for the soundtrack

heebusjeebus

They'll prob Pussy out on the ending but Harry on AICN makes a good suggestion;
They should have big willy as the bad guy and give the lead to someone like James Gandolifini.

I've no high hopes for this at all though.

me-skywalker

but surely a peter jackson/bruce willis version would be the ultimate remake, sure why dont they do it reality style? hidden cameras shaky handhelds? or they could make it in pixar style animation and while their at it make a tv series out of it and make magazines and countless 'fake' websites leading you in all patterns back to the same point you knew you were at.. THIS WILL BE THE DEATH OF THE REMAKES!!

djkeogh

me-skywalker wrote: »

THIS WILL BE THE DEATH OF THE REMAKES!!

If that were true, I would very much welcome this.

Beruthiel

Good. Lord.

Rabies

He'll prob end up eating McDonalds

Tusky

They made my favorite book into a crap film starring Will Smith and now they want to remake my favorite film also ?!!?

thewing

Will Smith has to be the worst actor of modern times - how he keeps getting work is beyond me.....wicka wicka wild wild west....

monkeyfudge

Bubs101 wrote: »

Awesome. Can't wait for the soundtrack

And I can't wait to see what awesome sneakers Will Smith will be wearing.

senordingdong

The War Of The Worlds always had a happy ending....

Anyway, I hate Will Smith, I don't know here anybody gets off calling him talented.

RNL

I doubt this'll happen, at least with Spielberg directing.

pixelburp

That article receives an instant "fail" for blasting Spielberg & giving "War of the Worlds" a happy ending (though the books sudden happy ending did pace itself a little better).

Fysh

It's always nice when a film gives you such a clear indication that you should avoid watching it at all costs (I just wish I'd stuck with my initial instincts and ignored I Am Legend, but on the other hand once bitten twice shy and all that...)

L31mr0d

...

monkeyfudge

I can't see it working now that I think of it.

When he gets in one little fight, his mom will get scared
And say you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air!

nicklauski

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I can't see it working now that I think of it.

When he gets in one little fight, his mom will get scared
And say you're moving with your auntie and uncle in bel-air!

Ha ha ha! Brilliant! I thought I Am Legend was alright. Wasn't a patch on the book though, but Smiths performance was believable. I think he's a good actor (if you remove Wild Wild West from his resume). He could have got the Oscar for Ali, but when your up against Denzel in Training Day, you hadn't a hope!

inforfun

Some movies should never be "remade".
Oldboy is one of them.

The Don

Oldboy is one of my favourite films. Even with all the other stupid remakes Hollywood has made of Asian films it never occured to me that they would try and remake this. Hollywood can't do dark and f*cked up. They can't come up with enough good ideas/scripts themselves so they rob the Asian ones and make sh*te out of them.

I'm going to hate what they do to the hammer fight in the hallway.

monkeyfudge

The Don wrote: »

I'm going to hate what they do to the hammer fight in the hallway.

Think how much cooler it will look with some bullet time effects thrown in.

Peyton Manning

I havent seen Oldboy, but I know its a very well respected film in here. And I gather its about revenge, which gives Will Smith plenty of opportunities to say "AWWWW HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!"

Basq

Archimedes wrote: »

..which gives Will Smith plenty of opportunities to say "AWWWW HEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO!"

Or "I gotta get me one of these!" :rolleyes:

I shudder imagining the sheer amount of product placement that'll be present in it!

ryoishin

Is there no justice in the world!

Cant see smith in a role where he

bangs his own daughter

.

Necronomicon

Oh...dear...Jesus.

Otis Driftwood

A whats fcuking next,Will Fcukin Ferrell in a remake of the Ebola Syndrome or something?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Hollywood seems to stay away from remaking the darker Asian movies in fairness.Anything they have done (Ringu,The Grudge,The Eye etc) are all pretty tame in comparison to say Oldboy,Audition or Ichi The Killer so I would take this report with a pinch of salt TBH.I certainly dont see Senor Spielbergo having a hand in any possible remake though.

johnny_ultimate

Don't worry everyone. Just ignore this kind of nonsense and they'll go away. Or will they

Well, on the plus side, Obama got elected, so at least they aren't all idiots.

Sanjuro

Spieleberg hasn't made a decent film since Schindler's List. There have been moments in his films since that have been great, but the overall picture would bottle it. Previous to that, Spieleberg made some of the best entertainment films of all time. But he just seems to have lost the edge. If he goes ahead and remakes Oldboy, it'll really show how little of the old Spielberg is left. It'll be a damn shame.

Peyton Manning

johnny_ultimate wrote: »

Don't worry everyone. Just ignore this kind of nonsense and they'll go away. Or will they

Well, on the plus side, Obama got elected, so at least they aren't all idiots.

They thought they were voting for Will Smith.

Tusky

MagicMarker

Surely two supposedly intelligent people like Spielberg and Smith know that this is all rather futile?

Karl Hungus

The production of the Oldboy remake has been a troubled one. Although it's never been confirmed as why they stopped it going ahead at one stage, it was canned shortly after the Virginia Tech Massacre, and the media linking Oldboy with Seung-Hui Cho. I've always speculated that it was too controversial a film for them to go ahead with, so I'm seriously sceptical it'll go ahead this time either.

That said, this news is much better than the proposed Nic Cage/Justin Lin project. You're never going to top the original, but I'd take Will Smith over Cage any day, and Spielberg is a far better director than Justin Lin.

RNL

Spielberg doesn't have the sensibility for this at all.

doonothing

Karl Hungus wrote: »

The production of the Oldboy remake has been a troubled one. Although it's never been confirmed as why they stopped it going ahead at one stage, it was canned shortly after the Virginia Tech Massacre, and the media linking Oldboy with Seung-Hui Cho. I've always speculated that it was too controversial a film for them to go ahead with, so I'm seriously sceptical it'll go ahead this time either.

That said, this news is much better than the proposed Nic Cage/Justin Lin project. You're never going to top the original, but I'd take Will Smith over Cage any day, and Spielberg is a far better director than Justin Lin.

Hahahahaha oh my god.

randomchild

That said, this news is much better than the proposed Nic Cage/Justin Lin project.

I refuse to admit that this ever existsed in this or any universe.

c - 13

I really cant see this one working. I mean where did they pull the decision to use Will Smith out of ?

Also how will they tweak the ending of this towards something more happy ? The ending is probably one of the strongest parts of this film, if they mess with it they'll end up with a completely different film with the same name.

I love remakes -
When Yakuza boss Anjo disappears with three hundred million yen. His loyal gang members, lead by Kakihara, start a search, but their aggressive and gory methods worry the other yakuza gangs. Kakiharas most frightening counterpart is Ichi, a strange man with a dark childhood secret, who is controlled by a retired cop. Rob Schneider is... Ichi the killer nice man. [title graphics show up] Rated PG-13

Karl Hungus

c - 13 wrote: »

I really cant see this one working. I mean where did they pull the decision to use Will Smith out of ?

I've not a bad word to say about Will Smith, but I can't see it working either. For one, Smith is far too squeaky clean for the film, I don't believe he's ever going to be in a film where

he ****s his own daughter

.

L31mr0d

Karl Hungus wrote: »

I don't believe he's ever going to be in a film where

he ****s his own daughter

.

same here... I just can't get my head around this one. I mean Smiths a family man and sells himself that way. Maybe he wants to pull a Robin Williams and go in a darker, edgier direction. But still, if he does that scene, it will do to his reputation what Something about Mary did to Cameron Diaz.

D.S.

Just seen this thread and I'm horrified at the thought of Spielberg/Smith even attempting this.

The original was an amazing piece of film..

I hate the thoughts of remaking this gem. If it had to be done, I'd only be interested in seeing Christopher Nolan give it a shot..

The Don

monkeyfudge wrote: »

Think how much cooler it will look with some bullet time effects thrown in.

*Shudder

Sanjuro wrote: »

Spieleberg hasn't made a decent film since Schindler's List. There have been moments in his films since that have been great, but the overall picture would bottle it. Previous to that, Spieleberg made some of the best entertainment films of all time. But he just seems to have lost the edge. If he goes ahead and remakes Oldboy, it'll really show how little of the old Spielberg is left. It'll be a damn shame.

Munich was pretty decent. Spielberg needs to stay the hell away from George Lucas. As should everyone else for that matter.

11811

I am both shocked and appalled......:eek:
WHY?
god this would be a sure-fire way to absolutely butcher a classic:mad:

Angus MacGyver

what are the odds that the sushi bar scene will be cgi'ed

ghouldaddy07

I would prefer to see a micheal bay and will feral tackle this together.:pac:

But on a serious note this cant be aloud to happen its wrong on so many levels.
The film is fine as it is just dub the fecking thing and rerelease it or at the very least dont let those talentless hacks anywhere near it.

christ speilberg cant even make a decent indiana jones film anymore.:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Rabies

ghouldaddy07 wrote: »

christ speilberg cant even make a decent indiana jones film anymore.:mad::mad::mad::mad:

That is because he is making money for the studios. Big name, big money.

He has lost is drive.

He needs to stop doing blockbusters and focus on something with a script!

Melion

I think i will cry if this gets made

One of my favourite movies ever. How the hell would they do the scrolling fight scene, the octopus and

incest

ThOnda

It is really "different" movie. I do agree that there is only 0.01% chance to make it better.

Karl Hungus

ghouldaddy07 wrote: »

I would prefer to see a micheal bay and will feral tackle this together.:pac:

Will Ferrell? Now you've just put the idea in my head of an Oldboy spoof...

monkeyfudge

Ferrell would be handing out tickets to the gun show left right and central in an Old Boy remake.