Sex but no second date?? Why??

LegacyUser

hi,

Ill try to keep this brief, Met a friend of a friend out on Sat night and ended up being with him - had a laugh and the sex was amazing - all night long! he then stayed with me until late yesterday and i dropped him home, But nothing, no request for my phone number or anything! I didnt ask him in the car if he wanted to meet up again because i am sick of guys saying yes and then just getting my number for the sake of it! I told myself - he likes me so he'll ask me for it! I mean what guy spends the day with a girl he doesnt like??

So how sh!tty did i feel when he got out of the car saying "ill see you again" with no can i have your number!!!WHat is wrong with guys these days! did i make it too easy having sex with him on a first night! i've held out before and it has made no difference so i dont see the point in that!!

my friends have said that he might get my number off his friend and ring/txt me but i dont think i would reply if he did - i know he is shy but what stopped him getting the number before he got out of the car!! Maybe i am biting my nose off to spite my face but i am really upset over this!

Am i right to write this guy off or is that too harsh? Are there any guys out there that will give women a second chance if they have spent the few days together! Ah my head is melted here! What do men expect nowadays! Sex and no ties is it! im so hating men right now!

thanks for reading this and any insight into the mans mind would be greatly accepted.

Marksie

Did you ask? Did you volunteer your phone number?

Did you give him any indication it was anything other than a booty call?

So the sex was amazing and yet you feel its teh guys fault.... it takes two to tango and i see nothing here that would suggest he lead you on in any ways.

Its not the mans mind you should be interested in finding out about..but your own.

Really you put out as a one night stand, you cannot complain when its treated as such

Edit: really "feeling violated" and having great sex are inconsistent. Its not men with the issue i am afraid

Wagon

Not all lads just want to get a shag! Did you even, I dunno, say that you liked him? Or that you were interested? There was a time I didn't bother getting a number myself the next day cos the lady didn't seem to care whether i lived or died from that point on but I guess I'm just shyte in bed :rolleyes:

star-pants

Would have to agree with Marksie - it sounds like a one nighter - you met this guy, hooked up, 'sex all night long' and you dropped him home (without volunteering contact info yourself). Perhaps he assumed that was all you wanted?
Think of it from his POV - went out on a date, she brought me home/lots of sex, she didn't mention meeting up again/phone number etc, just dropped me home. She must have just wanted that.

I don't think it's fair to give out about him when you've pretty much done exactly as he did.

MagicMarker

First of all, you weren't even on a date, so wtf is with the ''no 2nd date'' in your title?

You had a one night stand, and now you're crying that he didn't ask for your number? Is that a prerequisite for sex these days?

It's not men you should be hating right now.

jesus_thats_gre

Had a post all prepared and then had a look at your name.. Really like..

LegacyUser

Hey

While you may feel used, maybe he just didn't know how to ask you for your number ?

It could have been that he thought that you just wanted a one night stand and he might have felt a bit silly asking for it.

So, maybe he likes you and would like to see you again.

And when he said, "see you again" maybe he thinks he'll bump into you next time you're out.

Or, he figured he could get your number from your mutual friend.

Or, he might just look you up on your mate's facebook account and become your friend and contact you in that way (as I have done on many occasions - can be a very nice way to open up communication channels).

So don't feel violated or used.

And no, not all of us men are just out to get laid.....

Wibbs

jesus_thats_gre at what point did you figure that was a helpful post to the OP? Stick to the topic at hand

littlefriend

Last week I went to a gig and met this guy and spent the night talking to him. We were getting on very well and he was full of compliments, opening doors for me, helping me into my coat etc. He was pretty interesting and I thought maybe I'd met someone really nice. Anyway, he took my number, kiss on the cheek goodbye blah blah..the next day I found out that he ended up sleeping with my friend and giving her a different name than what he told me. He even sent me a few kiss ass texts the next day ??????? LOL what a nut, I've been laughing about it all weekend.

Anyway, my long-winded point is you just never know what way things are going to go. There isn't really anything you can do now about how the guy feels about you - just let it go. You said yourself that you had a good time with him so just take that from it. If this type of thing makes you feel violated then don't do it again.

RoosterIllusion

1) Get down off your cross.

2) Realise that you made the situation what it is.

If you like him then get in touch with him. If not then move on. Either way this guilt trip your indirectly laying on the guy is a bit ridiculous.

LegacyUser

Ok first of all i'm male- 25YO. i've said it before on boards when women put up these posts that it works either way. If a guy likes you he'll ask for your phone number. if he's interested in a relationship-he'll call you and ask you out. but when he goes home with a girl on a night out all he's interested in is getting a Bang. not many people go home with with the girl they marry the first night for sex! if i was out and went home with a girl i just think well if it was this easy for me how many other me have had it easy with this girl? Girls are messed up in their own way too- approach girl on a night, make a light hearted joke- the normal reply "piss off". You stop and think "WTF are these girls on" these are the same girls who probably write up on boards- i cant meet Mr right! Listen if your looking for a long term relationship dont go home with the guy- if he doesnt ring you back, well then he wasnt the right one. IF your have sex on the first night - expect nothing. ITs all rational thinking. So next time you meet a guy- have a geat night leaving him thinking- She's cool, must get her number. Dont think "i'll take home this guy and show him what he's missing"

Galvasean

So, it wasn't even a proper date and the OP is talking about a second date?
If you want anything more from a one night stand your best bet is to go out on a limb and ask. Otherwise your chances are pretty low.

Colonel_McCoy

One night stand...............thats all it every will be....................

Varkov

If you want something more to happen then ask, I really really really wish girls would take some of the initiative more often.

LegacyUser

Sorry if I have offended anyone with the choice of my username – I was at work trying to write the post without drawing attention to myself, My entire post was written in such a rush. I totallty take back my title – that should have said Sex –but he never asked for my number!! Apologies

I agree with some of your comments Marksie, however I do feel that some of the post was a bit harsh – not in the sense that I am only interested in reading what I want to hear but that i havent been given the benefit of the doubt - maybe my post wasnt meant to ask whether i have a problem but more so - what could i have done differently to get the guy to ask for my number! i would have been under the impresssion that if a guy really really liked you then he would have made some effort! Am i being stupid asking that or expecting that to be the case!

MagicMarker – yes I hate myself aswell for the record!!

Bleeblue I liked your post – those were the types of suggestions that I was thinking could be the case myself ! So I suppose I will just have to wait and see! I was of the feeling that if he got my number that I wouldn’t text him back but I just think that was a spur of the moment thing to write, I wouldn’t be that cruel! i would like if he did that.

LittleFriend that is just Gas – weren’t you the lucky one! Bet your friend doesnt feel too good about herself now!

I can see it from both sides now – he could have totally expected me to ask him if he wanted to see me again – and I was going to but I was afraid that he would say yes when he didn’t want to – and I would have felt worse if I had given him my number and he hadn’t used it – so I suppose I cant have any expectations now other than wait and see if I meet him out again.

Its so hard to write down in words what you want to say without people picking you up the wrong way! That is the only thing that puts me off this PI forum! If I could leave a voicemail and you could listen to it – im sure my post would have been interpreted totally differently

davyjose

Can I ask why you had sex with a guy you hardly knew after just one night?

I've nothing against 1 night stands, but you seem to be blaming a guy because you indulged in one with him. Surely, you knew this was liable to happen? Surely....????

Marksie

Feelingviolated wrote: »

Sorry if I have offended anyone with the choice of my username – I was at work trying to write the post without drawing attention to myself, My entire post was written in such a rush. I totallty take back my title – that should have said Sex –but he never asked for my number!! Apologies

Sometimes when typing quickly, we let our true feelings out because we are not checking what we say

Feelingviolated wrote: »

I agree with some of your comments Marksie, however I do feel that some of the post was a bit harsh – not in the sense that I am only interested in reading what I want to hear but that i havent been given the benefit of the doubt - maybe my post wasnt meant to ask whether i have a problem but more so - what could i have done differently to get the guy to ask for my number! i would have been under the impresssion that if a guy really really liked you then he would have made some effort! Am i being stupid asking that or expecting that to be the case!

It wasn't meant to be harsh, but its important to realise that in essence we are responsible for our own happiness adn unhappiness in this life and that every decision we make should be a conscious one.

But one very important point was raised..you were not even on a date. You met had a good one night stand and never followed through.

So whenh he said "see you again" that could have been an opening that you didn't take. He may have in fact been hoping you would provide the number.
But the point of my post was to get you to think on why a one night stand which you mutually enjoyed and agreed to..was taken as something else.

That isn't his issue but yours in that
A) you saw it as a man not wanting to go on a second date when there hadn't been a first.
Never took teh approach of at least offering your number
wrecked your head over something that shuld have been enjoyable fun, or pursued.

This isn't an instance of a man being a player, but enjoying a night of sex with someone in the same (so he believed) mindset

Feelingviolated wrote: »

MagicMarker – yes I hate myself aswell for the record!!

This is interesting..one night stands shouldn't be indulged in when you aren't going to be happy the morning after.
Sorta links in with my first point on your username.

Are you sure there isn't a deeper reason? Time to ask yourself why you feel like that?

Again, personally, i belive the first post was closer to the reality of what you may have been thinking..though i have been known to be wrong

littlefriend

Hey op, don't worry about the negative comments - you'll be over this in a few days.

LegacyUser

Marksie wrote: »

Sometimes when typing quickly, we let our true feelings out because we are not checking what we say



It wasn't meant to be harsh, but its important to realise that in essence we are responsible for our own happiness adn unhappiness in this life and that every decision we make should be a conscious one.

But one very important point was raised..you were not even on a date. You met had a good one night stand and never followed through.

So whenh he said "see you again" that could have been an opening that you didn't take. He may have in fact been hoping you would provide the number.
But the point of my post was to get you to think on why a one night stand which you mutually enjoyed and agreed to..was taken as something else.

That isn't his issue but yours in that
A) you saw it as a man not wanting to go on a second date when there hadn't been a first.
Never took teh approach of at least offering your number
wrecked your head over something that shuld have been enjoyable fun, or pursued.

This isn't an instance of a man being a player, but enjoying a night of sex with someone in the same (so he believed) mindset




This is interesting..one night stands shouldn't be indulged in when you aren't going to be happy the morning after.
Sorta links in with my first point on your username.

Are you sure there isn't a deeper reason? Time to ask yourself why you feel like that?

Again, personally, i belive the first post was closer to the reality of what you may have been thinking..though i have been known to be wrong

Thanks Marksie

Im going to try and explain myself better - you can then decide which post was closer to reality - both are what i more or less feel it was just choice of words that differentiates them

I think i should have said encounter instead of Date! In other words i was pee'd off he didnt at want to see me again! is that such a bad thing - In writing the post i have questioned my morals for one night stands - should i put out should i not! to be honest i dont think that men mind so much - i reckon if they are into you then they will want to see you again! Now maybe in writing this i am answering my own question but there always is the BUT! what if he thought i was too easy - what if he thought i wasnt interested cause i didnt ask HIM for his number! I wish i could tell you of how many diff scenario's have gone through my head today!!

I personally over analyse everything way too much! Something that is so simple always ends up being complicated in my eyes! And then i am always thinking what if it was ...(another option).

I didnt mean to blame the guy cause in fact i know this guy is a really nice guy but when things dont go your way there has to be someone else to blame other than yourself!

The sex was brilliant and if i never do see this guy again at least i learned some good techniques !! Why does sex on the first night have to mean a one night stand - surely if he asked me for my number and we met tonight that would have meant it wasnt a one night stand! i didnt set out to intentionally have a one night stand - to be honest yeah i know i was ultimately setting myself up for this but i was hoping it would become more! Lots of my friends had sex with their boyfriends on the first night!(maybe that is why i think that there is nothing wrong with it as such)

I didnt let him stay with the intention of having sex with him - it just happened that way! I jsut thought maybe just maybe he would like to meet me again! Was i expecting too much in that! i was hating men this mornign and probably, my post was insulting to men reading it but it wasnt meant that way! i jsut want to be happy and find someone nice and go out and enjoy myself with them and have what all my other friends now have! is this the issue that you were referring to that i needed to address with myself! If so, I dont know what to do - do i change who i am? can i even do that? i wouldnt know what to change??

I could ramble on all day here but its not going to get me anywhere - i need to know where to draw the line! By not sleeping with someone on a first night is having respect for myself? Right - so i should not have one night stands anymore agreed but that still doesnt answer my question about getting a guy to ask me for my number again! Can i just assume it is me!!

Curvy Vixen

Op, a couple of points in your posts really stand out for me.

The first is that you seem to be either beating yourself up over the fact that you slept with someone so spontaneously or you are blaming him for taking advantage of your good nature. I can't decide if it's one, the other or both tbh. Either way this is unfair. I assume you are both over the age of consent and that he didn't drag you screaming into the bedroom? Do you think that what you did was slutty? Is that why it keeps coming back to the point that there is blame to lay somewhere because you did this?

From what I can gather, you fancied the pants off of each other and had sex. End of. You say you spent a lot of the next day together? Well that happens a lot. Many people can't really cope with the morning after scenario's and either run scared or stay, just going with the flow of the day.

Get over this and stop blaming either yourself or him for a night of sex.

Secondly, the phone number thing. WTF?? If you really liked him and wanted to see him again then why sit back on your laurels and wait for him to do the running?? Why couldn't you say to him 'can I have your number'? Why do you keep looking for blame again as to why he doesn't want to see you again? In fact, how do you know he doesn't want to see you again when you didn't even ask???

You need to just learn from this experience and next time, if you fancy each other and want a shag then do it...and if you like him enough to want to see him again, then ask for his number! Honestly, it really is that straightforward...

unhappycamper

Feelingviolated wrote: »

hi,

did i make it too easy having sex with him on a first night! .

Yes you did. For me and most guys I know sex on the first date is seen as 'too easy' and a total turn off. It is not you OP it is the way men are I am afraid. You sound like a really nice person by the way, but woman who have sex on the first night are not seen by men as relationship material, as there is no hunt for the male to embark on.

bennyblanco

unhappycamper wrote: »

Yes you did. For me and most guys I know sex on the first date is seen as 'too easy' and a total turn off. It is not you OP it is the way men are I am afraid. You sound like a really nice person by the way, but woman who have sex on the first night are not seen by men as relationship material, as there is no hunt for the male to embark on.

For me it's nothing to do with the hunt,more that you eventually get to wondering how many others got it on the first night and for me that's a big turn off.
Sorry off topic but I'm always reading this kind of comment.
OP I'd be with the "you never asked him either" crew on this.
Maybe he thought it just was what it was(or at least seemed to be)

Zaph

You have a mutual friend. Nothing stopping you asking that person for the guy's number, is there? Nothing ventured, and all that.

codeblack

OP you really need to stop beating yourself up about this, you liked him and you slept with him. You should not feel ashamed or bad about this. You did nothing wrong. Why is it that usually the girls who sleep with guys in a one night stand situation always feel bad or guilty or something to that affect, while the guy is probably at home now thinking about the amazing night he spent with a girl he really got on with? And sure if ye both got on well with each other these situations normally have a way of working out, and chances are ye'll meet up again. I mean you can always give him a friendly text, no harm in that. And he'll get the message that you're interested.

Rowley Birkin QC

It's possible he has a girlfriend or something and doesn't want to be running the risk of getting texts/calls from you.

Sounds harsh but it might be the case.

LegacyUser

I met a guy through a friend in the summer and ended up sleeping with him that night. I had to get up really early the next day and just got my clothes and crept out without leaving a note, my number or anything. I'd had lots of fun but just wasn't that interested in doing it again. However I bumped into him a week or so later and ended up bringing him home. This time he took my number, we started seeing each other and are now in a wonderful relationship, completely in love.

My point is, even though he didn't take your number, that doesn't mean he's not interested in seeing you again, should the opportunity present itself.

Danimalito

unhappycamper wrote: »

Yes you did. For me and most guys I know sex on the first date is seen as 'too easy' and a total turn off. It is not you OP it is the way men are I am afraid. You sound like a really nice person by the way, but woman who have sex on the first night are not seen by men as relationship material, as there is no hunt for the male to embark on.

Wow, ok, i'm swedish so i may have grown up with a somewhat different mentality to romance, but i don't agree with that at all.

If it's one thing in this country that I find slightly annoying, it's the pressure on women to figure out the exact moment when they can have sex with a man, and not be considered neither a slapper nor a prude. I still dont' get why this sex thing is such a big fcukin deal here.

To the OP, assuming you can get hold of his phone number, just send him a text and tell him you'd like to see him again for a /proper/ date, then take it from there. I know that if I were him, I'd appreciate that. It could have been any of a million reasons why he didn't ask for your phone nr, no point in trying to second guess.

Mezcita

unhappycamper wrote: »

Yes you did. For me and most guys I know sex on the first date is seen as 'too easy' and a total turn off. It is not you OP it is the way men are I am afraid. You sound like a really nice person by the way, but woman who have sex on the first night are not seen by men as relationship material, as there is no hunt for the male to embark on.

Bullsh.it and spot on by Danimalito above.

OP, its the 21st century. If you like this guy, ring him.

zuroph

unhappycamper wrote: »

You sound like a really nice person by the way

what are you basing this on? put it back in your pants mate.

OP you unfortunately set urself up for this, u had a one night stand, its been explained lots in this thread already.

metrovelvet

I really hate to say this but, he's just not that into you.

unhappycamper

zuroph wrote: »

what are you basing this on? put it back in your pants mate.

OP you unfortunately set urself up for this, u had a one night stand, its been explained lots in this thread already.

I am basing this on the fact that I have never had a relationship with a girl who was 'easy' on the first night. I am not saying the OP made a mistake but this is my experience, it doesn't have to be your opinion or the previous posters who disagree.

Mezcita wrote: »

Bullsh.it and spot on by Danimalito above.

OP, its the 21st century. If you like this guy, ring him.

I am basing this on the fact that I have never had a relationship with a girl who was 'easy' on the first night. I am not saying the OP made a mistake but this is my experience, it doesn't have to be your opinion or the previous posters who disagree.

Danimalito wrote: »

Wow, ok, i'm swedish so i may have grown up with a somewhat different mentality to romance, but i don't agree with that at all.

If it's one thing in this country that I find slightly annoying, it's the pressure on women to figure out the exact moment when they can have sex with a man, and not be considered neither a slapper nor a prude. I still dont' get why this sex thing is such a big fcukin deal here.

To the OP, assuming you can get hold of his phone number, just send him a text and tell him you'd like to see him again for a /proper/ date, then take it from there. I know that if I were him, I'd appreciate that. It could have been any of a million reasons why he didn't ask for your phone nr, no point in trying to second guess.

Well I am not trying to be politically correct here I am explaining my view. Now if I see it this way I am sure many other guys do to.

Curvy Vixen

unhappycamper I am basing this on the fact that I have never had a relationship with a girl who was 'easy' on the first night.

:rolleyes: Why is she the easy one???? Why are you even using the word easy actually? If they are both over the legal age and both wanted sex why are you judging her and not him?

If you have sex with someone on a first date, does that not make you easy too??

shellyboo

Curvy Vixen wrote: »

:rolleyes: Why is she the easy one???? Why are you even using the word easy actually? If they are both over the legal age and both wanted sex why are you judging her and not him?

If you have sex with someone on a first date, does that not make you easy too??

Damn right Curvy! It's just further perpetuating this notion that men want the sex and women bestow it upon them as some sort of selfless gift. Believe you me, if I'm having sex with a guy on the first date, it's sure as hell not for his benefit... It's because I want me some sex.

unhappycamper

Fair play to them both. They are both entitled to have sex. Two people having easy causal sex, happy days. However, the OP wants more. The OP could give him a call no? maybe he wants a date who knows? Why is the OP holding back?? Maybe because the OP would rather he asked her out? Chivalry. Now why doesn't the OP just call him? Why is the OP waiting on his beck and call? Pick up the phone and call him OP. How often do girls ask guys out? Never? It is up to the guy. Why?

I am entitled to say that if I have sex on a first date with a girl I know deep down the chances of it going somewhere are reduced because..

A) One person might say 'it was just a one night stand'
The male might view her as easy
C) The female might view him as 'just a sex thing'

If the male, and I can only speak from a male perspective gets everything he wants on a plate then it can perceived as 'too easy'.

So many factors..

shellyboo

unhappycamper wrote: »

If the male, and I can only speak from a male perspective gets everything he wants on a plate then it can perceived as 'too easy'.

GAH! So the woman doesn't WANT sex? Of course not, women don't enjoy sex... that would make you a slut right?! (Note extreme, head-banging-off-desk sarcasm)

The man is getting what he wants, the woman is getting what she wants - considering her motives are correct in sleeping with the guy. You should never sleep with someone and think 'this will make them like me', obviously, and I think this is where a lot of Irish women go wrong. They view sex as 'part of the deal'; if they don't do it on the first date or the third date or within a month that the guy will disappear.

unhappycamper

Just to back up life from my experience:

Had 5 proper relationships and never had sex on first night with any of these girls.

Had 5 one night stands, never went anywhere but to a taxi or a bus stop.

Coincidence?

unhappycamper

shellyboo wrote: »

GAH! So the woman doesn't WANT sex? Of course not, women don't enjoy sex... that would make you a slut right?! (Note extreme, head-banging-off-desk sarcasm)

The man is getting what he wants, the woman is getting what she wants - considering her motives are correct in sleeping with the guy. You should never sleep with someone and think 'this will make them like me', obviously, and I think this is where a lot of Irish women go wrong. They view sex as 'part of the deal'; if they don't do it on the first date or the third date or within a month that the guy will disappear.

You are completely missing my point!

Of course woman want sex do you think I am thick???????

The OP wants more, the OP wants a date I assume, maybe even some romance, then sex. I am making the point that not every guy wants a relationship after sex on the first date. It can be viewed as a turn off to be honest. God many of you don't like getting the truth.

Nevyn

unhappycamper your life experiences, the results and conculsions you draw are not appliciable to other peoples's lives, it may be true for you but not others.

The generalises sweeping statements are not helpful,
and unhelpful posts will get you banned from this forum.

Curvy Vixen

unhappycamper wrote: »

Just to back up life from my experience:

Had 5 proper relationships and never had sex on first night with any of these girls.

Had 5 one night stands, never went anywhere but to a taxi or a bus stop.

Coincidence?

No, it means that those girls obviously didn't think enough of you to want a relationship with you...maybe they thought you were too easy sleeping with them on the first date!

shellyboo

unhappycamper wrote: »

The OP wants more, the OP wants a date I assume, maybe even some romance, then sex.

Then her mistake was in not ASKING for a date - whether she slept with him or not has no bearing on it, unless he's of the same opinion as you. Which I think is a bit of a shallow opinion, tbh.

Oh, and FYI... I've had three long term relationships, one five years, and two of six months in duration each - slept with them all on the first date. When it's right it's right.

unhappycamper

Thaedydal wrote: »

unhappycamper your life experiences, the results and conculsions you draw are not appliciable to other peoples's lives, it may be true for you but not others.

The generalises sweeping statements are not helpful,
and unhelpful posts will get you banned from this forum.

Banned ? That seems very harsh?

unhappycamper

shellyboo wrote: »

Then her mistake was in not ASKING for a date - whether she slept with him or not has no bearing on it, unless he's of the same opinion as you. Which I think is a bit of a shallow opinion, tbh.

Oh, and FYI... I've had three long term relationships, one five years, and two of six months in duration each - slept with them all on the first date. When it's right it's right.

I don't appreciate being called shallow thankyou. I am far from shallow.

unhappycamper

unhappycamper wrote: »

Just to back up life from my experience:

Had 5 proper relationships and never had sex on first night with any of these girls.

Had 5 one night stands, never went anywhere but to a taxi or a bus stop.

Coincidence?

No, you obviously didn't want it to go anywhere because you thought they were easy (Hell, maybe they were thinking the same of you).
Doesn't mean everyone else holds that attitude :rolleyes:


OP, seriously, stop guilt tripping over having sex. You seem to have some issues with it as if it's wrong.
Also, just call the guy yourself. seriously. maybe guys are sick of getting numbers from people who don't mean it too. Doesn't mean you can sit there giving out about them

shellyboo

unhappycamper wrote: »

I don't appreciate being called shallow thankyou. I am far from shallow.

It is my opinion that your opinion - which I'm reading as 'I wouldn't date a girl who has sex on the first date' - is a bit shallow. I'd like to think that any guy I dated would see me for me, and not judge my worth on how soon I did or did not have sex with him.

unhappycamper

bluewolf wrote: »

No, you obviously didn't want it to go anywhere because you thought they were easy (Hell, maybe they were thinking the same of you).
Doesn't mean everyone else holds that attitude :rolleyes:


OP, seriously, stop guilt tripping over having sex. You seem to have some issues with it as if it's wrong.
Also, just call the guy yourself. seriously. maybe guys are sick of getting numbers from people who don't mean it too. Doesn't mean you can sit there giving out about them

I am pulling out at this point. Shallow, easy etc... hmmm. Thanks guys.

neuro-praxis

OP, you sound very vulnerable.

All I can say is never have sex because you think that's what is expected of you, or because you think it will make a man want a relationship with you. Only have sex if that is also what you want, and you feel safe and comfortable - and if you are prepared for it to be just that.

I am sorry you are feeling so hurt. I think the suggestion to contact this guy, if you like him, is a good one.

If you decide not to do that, then allow yourself to move on and have a rethink about what you want from encounters with men. If it turns out you only want sex in the context of a relationship, then pursue just that - it's not unusual and there are loads of men who feel the same way. Good luck pet.

Liam Byrne

I've just had a thought; why did the OP even refer to the sex in the thread title ? Is it that big a deal ?

Surely the core issue is "We got on great and fancied each other but I didn't ask him about meeting again and neither did he".

Whatever about having the sex reference in the text of the post (as proof that they did fancy each other) why is it in the thread title ?

Is there a possibility that the OP is thinking that the "too easy, won't ring" actually DOES apply ?

And re generalisations : some girls (and guys) are too easy; some are too desperate to please; and some have fun and go with the flow when they click. Unless the OP behaved really inappropriately or needy at some stage, you can't tell from the first night which of the above 3 applies.....sometimes it takes a few weeks or months to discover and know the real person!!!

Nevyn

unhappycamper wrote: »

Banned ? That seems very harsh?

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

unhappycamper wrote: »

I don't appreciate being called shallow thankyou. I am far from shallow.

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LegacyUser

Sorry but I'm a bit surprised here. You slept with someone you barely knew (obviously really liked each other though) and expected a relationship out of it? I realise some relationships start that way, but on the whole I don't think very many do.

Whatever about generalisations, but within a few hours of meeting someone you still don't know them and in fairness, someone who seems great after you've had a few drinks could be a total jerk when you're sober (and less good-looking without the beer goggles).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having one-night stands for the sake of having a sh@g - a lot of women seem uncomfortable admitting they just want a sh@g without anything else. But if you're looking for a relationship, sleepign with someone within a few hours of meeting them may not be the best route.

Sugar Drunk

you met a guy and brought him home for sex the same night. Its called a one night stand. You expected sex out of it so did he.

Is it his fault he is not psychic and did not ask you for your number? Is it ghis fauilt if he deliberately did not give you his number because he doesnt fancy you beyond a one off shag? No. If you cannot emotionally handle a one night stand then don't do it!. get to knwo a guy before you go that far.

and if you like someone and want to see them again - then ask them for their number! at least that way you will know how they feel and wont be left wondering. I feel sorry for men sometimes I really do women expect them to have a psychic feeling monitor

LegacyUser

Okay a lot of mixed reactions but i do agree that i was stupid not to ask him for his number just expecting him to give me his!

i have gotten onto our mutual friend to see if he can get his number for me. Nothing ventured nothing gained and all that!

Whatever the outcome i think i have learned alot from this thread and i want to thank everyone for their opinions - however harsh or mild they were - sometimes the truth is hard to handle.

Wish me luck because i really am just an amateur when it comes to this dating game! Im 28 and i think i just realised that the reason i dont date is because i dont make the effort - i expect the guy to do all the running and when he doesnt i just let him go! i see the wrong in this - i suppose i am too caught up on all the happy endings in the movies!!

thanks again