Suddenly single

dulchie75

Hi all, new here so hope I'm posting this in the right section.

have recently spilt with my partner of 4 years - I wanted marriage and family, he doesn't know what he wants!!!

Anyhow back to the point, I'm sitting in most weekends as all my friends are either married or pregnant, how do I go about meeting new people and having a life!!

Help I feel like I'm a saddo sitting in alone on a Saturday night:(

fits

Meh just cos you're not out boozing doesnt mean you're a saddo. (At least thats what I'm telling myself).
I guess its time to rediscover what you like to do! Sorry to hear about the split.

brianthebard

I think TLL and BGRH should set up singles clubs respectively and then meet up.

MagicMarker

I'd much rather be sitting in right now then in town with all the other commoners getting wasted and spending 2 hours waiting for a taxi home.

She Devil

Aww sorry to hear about the split hun, i was in this situation before, once you start going out with mates or even work mates you will see you become friends with other people who are single. Some of my single friends have the best social lives. Take this forum for instance, the girls meet up, you could meet new people that way!!
Just don't get down about it, get out there and let your confidence take a step up!! You need some fun girlie xx

dulchie75

Thanks for all your replies. I'm from Dublin but living in the midlands the last few years so don't have too many friends, those I have are great but have their own lives - husbands and children. It's just that I don't know where to begin. I've been in 2 relationships since I was 18, now 33, getting old.

The thing is I'm still in touch with my ex as we finished on good terms, I guess i was hoping he would change his mind and want me back but now I realise it's time to move on.

I go to the gym so maybe I should make more of an effort to chat to the girls there, it's just hard:(

quietobserver

as mentioned earlier i think its probably time you rediscovered who you are and what you like in life. I wouldnt just go with the flow and be out every saturday night because everyone else is. Most of my friends in relationships are in them through meeting people at events related to their hobbies and interests rather than weekend drinking. Make the most of the new choices open to you

Galvasean

brianthebard wrote: »

I think TLL and BGRH should set up singles clubs respectively and then meet up.

We could do a speed dating marathon! :P

But seriously, OP, you could go to a LL met up (there's a thread stickied for them) if you want to meet new friends.

dulchie75

quietobserver wrote: »

as mentioned earlier i think its probably time you rediscovered who you are and what you like in life. I wouldnt just go with the flow and be out every saturday night because everyone else is. Most of my friends in relationships are in them through meeting people at events related to their hobbies and interests rather than weekend drinking. Make the most of the new choices open to you

You are so right but that's the sad but I don't have any hobbies, live in Longford and not alot going on there other than going to the gym.
guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, need to cop on and get on with life, I know it;s not the end of the world

Pythia

You should try online dating. My dad's relationship with my mum ended last year and he's met someone great through a dating site online. You could try join a club either, something that would attract both sexes. Don't worry too much though, I'm sitting at home aloneon a Saturday night too and I'm in a relationship. We're all at it!

girl_friday

Its tough pet but you just need to find your feet. do u live alone or are you sharing?? Is there any way you can go out somewhere you wouldn't normally go and try make new friends that way??? Easier said than done but worth the gamble!! Just make sure you mind yourself!! Its a tough time for you!!

dulchie75

It's not that I want to jump straight into a new relationship, I just want to meet new people and have a bit of a social life.

At present I am renting but I have my own house so I'm moving back into it, although my parents live in it at the moment but better to pay my mortgage than someone elses.

I guess it's just a new start for me, now I know I'm probably going to get slatted for this but I'm mad into tarot readings and they did say I would get back with him but in my heart of hearts I don't think so, so that is why I just want to get on with my life.

Bring speed dating to longford or roscommon and I'll be there, a night out if nothing else:)

Ginny

Dulchie, you are me this time last year, I had to move out of the house we shared, and move back in with the parents.
We split for the same reasons you did and like you, I'd been in 2 relationships since 17.
First thing I will say is cut contact with him, I didn't for a long time and it really didn't help me at all.
Get out and go to the gym, or even Yoga classes in your area, and talk to your married friends, mine were all married or settled too, people still go out at the weekends.
And try and make a LL meet up, it really helped me as well, met a fantastic bunch of people.
Believe me it does get better, it really does, I'm a million times better off now then I was in a relationship that just wasn't going to go anywhere, or make me happy, and once I sorted myself out and started enjoying life again I met a fantastic man who's worth a million of my ex.

dulchie75

Hi GinnyJo,
Thanks for your advice and it's totally right. Have decided to stop all contact and see what happens. Going to have a look in local paper tomorrow and see if there any yoga classes on locally, the best thing to do is keep busy.

I keep saying to myself it's his loss not mine

Caros

Hi Dulchie, I'm 45 and I've just come out of a relationship which lasted 8 years and the other relationship before that was over 17 years long, I really do serial monogamy in a big way!, and I marry the blighters too, anyhow here I am single after 25 years and this time I intend to enjoy it!

I've just joined a camera club as I'm kinda keen on photography and I've also joined a hiking club. I'm not into the pub scene - bores me rigid to be honest - but I need to do something apart from coming home on a Friday evening and barely going outside the door till work again Monday morning. I have some good pals but they either live in other parts of the country or they have their own lives iykwim.

Hope all goes well for you.

SW81

Caros wrote: »

Hi Dulchie, I'm 45 and I've just come out of a relationship which lasted 8 years and the other relationship before that was over 17 years long, I really do serial monogamy in a big way!, and I marry the blighters too, anyhow here I am single after 25 years and this time I intend to enjoy it!

I've just joined a camera club as I'm kinda keen on photography and I've also joined a hiking club. I'm not into the pub scene - bores me rigid to be honest - but I need to do something apart from coming home on a Friday evening and barely going outside the door till work again Monday morning. I have some good pals but they either live in other parts of the country or they have their own lives iykwim.

Hope all goes well for you.

Good for you, great to hear. Keep the positivity up!