Proposal-Need Advice

TheBoffin

How's it going?

I am ready to pop the question to my girlfriend of 2 years. I said I would never do it until it feels right inside, and now it does.

The usual thing is to ask her father , but seeing as he isnt in the picture, I have planned to go ask her mum today? (Good/Bad idea?)

Also.

I have been looking in the jewlers for the past week at rings. The jewler made a suggestion to buy a simple ring for around €100.00 or so and then after the proposal, bring her in to pick out the one she likes.

(Good/Bad idea?)

Appreciate the help.

Thanks

I'm delighted for you op.

These are very individual choices, nobody can predict your gf's feelings on these issues.
The most important detail in any proposal is a sincere heart, once you have that you literally can't go wrong.
Do what feels right for you, I'm sure she'll be more than happy with it.

Morgase

The jeweller's suggestion is a good one.

As to asking her mother before asking her though? I'd pop the question to her first, and then speak to her mother as a formality only. Personally I would not be pleased with any of the asking the parents for my hand stuff, but you know best if your gf would like it!

Hope it all works out well for you.

Oryx

You sound very traditional, which is lovely. As for asking her mum, as mentioned, make sure its something your gf would be ok with.

If you are planning to do a full on proposal on one knee with a ring box with your temporary ring, bear in mind that there might be a momentary thought on your gfs part that it may not be what she had expected. Be ready to explain the situation, OR choose a ring that is very different from an engagement ring. A birthstone ring, or a plain one with two entwined bands. Because I know if I was given any ring in that situation, it would hold a very special place in my heart, whether cheap and temporary or not. I would want to wear it, not relegate it to the jewellery box.

Good luck with the proposal, btw!!

miju

It's al down to individual ideas TBH.

When I proposed earlier in the year to my fiance I picked the engagement ring myself (though I was VERY sure of her favorite jewellry style).

Nor did I ask her parents permission (though we've been toghether for 7 years). Also bear in mind I think alot of girls really look forward to breaking the "I'm engaged" suprise news to parents.

Best of luck with it BTW

Make sure she isn't the type to be offended at the "ask the parents" first as there are many women who would consider that a hanging offence
She may also want to break the news to them herself.
As for the ring either be very, very certain you know her style or do as Oryx suggests

cuckoo

miju wrote: »

Also bear in mind I think alot of girls really look forward to breaking the "I'm engaged" suprise news to parents.

+1.

Personally, I would be a little peeved if my parents knew first that someone was thinking of asking me to marry them.

Also, what do you do if her mother says 'no'?!?!?

Re the ring, i'd agree with the jeweller, buy a pretty (but obviously not an engagement) ring and then choose THE ring together. It'd be lovely if the stand in ring had some personal symbolism, like suggested already her birthstone, or something like 'i chose this blue stone because it reminded me of the blue sea from that lovely holiday we had in xyz....'. You know her, so you'll know something that can be linked to a ring.

Wishing you both loads of happiness - come back and tell us how it goes!

what2do

And if you do ask her mother are you guaranteed she won't tell a few (lots?!) people in "confidence"..... dunno how well mine could keep it to herself!!!

TheBoffin

Hi All,

Many thanks for the advice. Some good points in there and alot of food for thought.

I am probably just going to ask her straight without telling/asking anyone. I will let you know how I get on!

Thanks for the help!

:-)

Rozabeez

I don't think I'd like if someone asked my mother, like your girlfriend, my mam is a single parent, and the thought of being able to tell her myself about the proposal would be a big deal to me.

miju

TheBoffin wrote: »

I am probably just going to ask her straight without telling/asking anyone. I will let you know how I get on!

I think your making the best decision. Best of luck

cacio

I dunno.

I think I'd like it if my boyfriend asked my Dad. It's just a little bit of tradition and I think it shows a bit of respect to my Dad. My Dad on the other hand wouldn't even think of my boyfriend asking him but it's something I'd like.

With the ring I like the idea of a temp she could wear again. I know what I'd like as an engagement ring and although I know I'd love what my boyfriend picked (barring a HUGE rock - small all the way), I'd always have it in my head that it wasn't what I'd wanted most.

Best of luck. Hope she says yes!