The gripe thread

Eru

I know theres a thread about humerous goings on and a good thread it is too so heres one were you can bitch and moan in peace.....

Today I had a guy in who wanted me to photocopy his CV, WTF? I said no Im busy and he then had the cheek to ask me "Why? What else are you doing?". Em, fighting ****ing crime you ****wit!

eroo

Why would you have to copy someones CV??

TheNog

Regular caller to the station always ringing up to complain about boys kicking a ball off her gate.

She really annoys me

deadwood

You should havdone it, and slipped in a photocopy of your sherrifs badge!:D

Eru

eroo wrote: »

Why would you have to copy someones CV??

Thats the point! Someones bedtime me thinks

eroo

Karlitosway1978 wrote: »

Someones bedtime me thinks

Well, you'd better be off then!:p:pac:

TheNog

another one and this is the one I really hate to hear

"guard I want that person arrested now!!!!!!!!"

of course I will arrest that person just cos you say so GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR

FGR

TheNog wrote: »

another one and this is the one I really hate to hear

"guard I want that person arrested now!!!!!!!!"

of course I will arrest that person just cos you say so GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR

of course I will arrest that person just cos you say so even though I probably don't have a power of arrest and will more than likely lose my job and my home for unlawful arrest just because you said so..

..and why is your Tax out by six months?

Got to love it. The only difference is where I work it's "I want that person charged!!"

TheNog

here's another one that affects all serving members

people who can make obvious vexatious complaints against members and cannot be prosecuted!!!!!!!!

I still can't get my head around that one

FGR

I never head of of the GCB ever doing it..I wonder will GSOC change that position?

Paulzx

Where do i start?

Most common one

I'll set the scene. House on fire. Flames through the roof. Smoke billowing out of every window. Three fire engines. Blue flashing lights. Firefighters running round laying hose etc. etc. You get the idea

Member of the public walks up. "Whats happening. Is there a fire"


Cue fireman " No, we're making a ****ing movie. What do you think is happening?":rolleyes:

TheNog

ForegoneReality wrote: »

I never head of of the GCB ever doing it..I wonder will GSOC change that position?

hopefully

civdef

That's like where pople point to the flames and smoke shooting into the sky visible from miles away, and helpfully tell arriving crews, "the fire's over there".

deadwood

ForegoneReality wrote: »

"I want that person charged!!"

Standard Deadwood reply #1.

"But we provide this service for free!"

deadwood

Paulzx wrote: »

I'll set the scene. House on fire. Flames through the roof. Smoke billowing out of every window. Three fire engines. Blue flashing lights. Firefighters running round laying hose etc. etc. You get the idea

#2

I always love this one; the bigger and more dramatic the scene, the better. A small crowd gathers to use their camera phones to youtube the explosions and car wrecks. A scene which might even make Metman do some rubber-necking, along comes Gda Deadwood -

"move along folks, there's nothing to see here".

Remaining stoney-faced, while Armageddon rages beind you, as if tou see this kind of stuff every day comes with practice.
:cool:

deadwood

ForegoneReality wrote: »

I never head of of the GCB ever doing it..I wonder will GSOC change that position?

I don't know what action Car Buyers Guide can take.

FGR

deadwood wrote: »

I don't know what action Car Buyers Guide can take.

Boom boom. :rolleyes:

Eru

ML10's and other documents.

No, I cant just sign it, no I dont care what the bank / Meteor / etc said. If its 'just' a signature then go ask a binman to do it or the bank clerk that sent you here in the first place :mad:

Elessar

The old chestnut:

On duty at a marathon or some other physically intensive sporting event.

Patient who's wheezing, has grey/blue skin, difficulty speaking and panicky stumbles into the ambulance.

Asthma attack.

"Do you have your inhaler?!"
"No!!!!!"
".....Where is it?!"
"At home. Didn't think I'd need it."

:wtf:

yayamark

Oh yah

Picture this at the scene of a major RTC.
3-4 cars wrecked, i mean mangled 2-3 ambos, 2-3 fb crews, scene cordoned off and diversion inplace and ...

****er No 1.
Drives up to Garda tape and points behind you implying that he want to drive over the ambo crew, fb crew and the 2 people injured lying on the road. You walk up to him wondering what the **** this asshole wants and in your most calm voice tell him that due to this seriousness the road is closed for the time been. The asshole asks "Is there any chance i can dive thru Guard?":mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

****er No 2.

At the same scene pulls up at scene calls you over and says

"Garda, Garda"
"Yes" i reply

"Was there an accident here?":rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Cue me pulling out my baton and walking over towards him. I see him reversing quickly away.

Note..

I have actually started doing No.2. not a No 2 to colleagues that i know at scenes only to see them recognise me and tell me to **** off while laughing.

metman

deadwood wrote: »

Standard Deadwood reply #1.

"But we provide this service for free!"

Or how about:

I pay your wages!

Standard reply:

No, I pay my own wages, and your social.

deadwood

yayamark wrote: »

I have actually started doing No.2. not a No 2 to colleagues that i know at scenes only to see them recognise me and tell me to **** off while laughing.

I've nearly done a couple of No.2's myself at a few scenes!;)

Eru

Preserving a scene, tape all around, the usual stuff 'Garda - No entry'

Your standing there with your not-so-rain-proof scene log. Lad walks up, has a look then lifts up the tape and stolls on in either as a shortcut or for a quick looksy.

Me: Did you not see the tape?
Him: Well Im going right there Garda and Im late (he says in a self important south dublin accent, as he points somewhere in the distance)

or "I just wanted to have a look / see what was going on"

Oh I see, well can I see where the tape reads 'Garda - no entry - except you'?

Or disabled bays, "Im only here a minute", "Im only picking someone up"
Enter smart arse karl "Can I see your 'park wherever I want' permit please?

deadwood

Karlitosway1978 wrote: »

Enter smart arse karl "Can I see your 'park wherever I want' permit please?

"Yeah, here - just give it a quick vacuum and clean the ashtray" - Gda Deadwood produces his i.d. card.

bunk

a new favourite of mine is to now completley deny any knowledge that an incident has occured.

standing at a scene, taped off, mules everywhere

joe public: is this where your man was killed last night?

bunk: killed? who was killed, dont have a clue what your talkin about.

joe public: your man, he was shot here last nite.

bunk: no, no one shot here last night.

joe public: then why is the place all closed off and theres guards everywhere.

bunk: ah, the lads are just testin out there gear, makin sure the scene tape still works, you know 'keep out', they have to change it if anyone goes past it.

cue bemused joe public walking away scratchin his head:D

deadwood

Prisoner - boozed and/or coked up to his (slightly too close together) eyeballs, who has kicked the living sh1te out of his best mate/wife and trashed the pub is subdued after some nifty gooseneck holds.
The cuffs go on then - "Aaaargh, those cuffs are too tight, loosen them pleeeease!"

Deadwood repy#3.
"It's a new pair- they'll stretch.":cool:

metman

bunk wrote: »

a new favourite of mine is to now completley deny any knowledge that an incident has occured.

standing at a scene, taped off, mules everywhere

joe public: is this where your man was killed last night?

bunk: killed? who was killed, dont have a clue what your talkin about.

joe public: your man, he was shot here last nite.

bunk: no, no one shot here last night.

joe public: then why is the place all closed off and theres guards everywhere.

bunk: ah, the lads are just testin out there gear, makin sure the scene tape still works, you know 'keep out', they have to change it if anyone goes past it.

cue bemused joe public walking away scratchin his head:D

Spot on

We had a scene where suspects had gone to ground so we had a containment in and the Air Support Unit was up......the full works.

Joe Public leans out his window: What's going on? Is it terrorists?
Metman: No nothing to worry about, Inspector's lost a contact lense.
Joe Public: Really??!
Metman: No! Go back inside!

Paulzx

Common ambo one


999 call at 4.30am. Arrive at house and enter.

Ambo crew " Whats the problem"

Customer " I've a sore belly"

AC "When did it start"

C " Ah, about 4 weeks ago"

AC " Did you go and see your doctor"

C " Nah, i didn't bother"

AC " Can i ask you a question?. If you havent bothered doing anything about it for the last 4 weeks why have you decided now at 4.30 in the morning that you need an ambulance."


C " I just thought i'd better get it checked out":mad:


The only consolation we have is the thought of the gob****e sitting for 12 hours in the waiting room of the A&E smelling the drifties and listening to them snoring.

maglite

is stupid people doing stupid things a legitimate gripe?

SV

Paulzx wrote: »

Common ambo one


999 call at 4.30am. Arrive at house and enter.

Ambo crew " Whats the problem"

Customer " I've a sore belly"

AC "When did it start"

C " Ah, about 4 weeks ago"

AC " Did you go and see your doctor"

C " Nah, i didn't bother"

AC " Can i ask you a question?. If you havent bothered doing anything about it for the last 4 weeks why have you decided now at 4.30 in the morning that you need an ambulance."


C " I just thought i'd better get it checked out":mad:


The only consolation we have is the thought of the gob****e sitting for 12 hours in the waiting room of the A&E smelling the drifties and listening to them snoring.

They're the type of people that should have then been given a genuine reason to need to go to a hospital :mad::mad:

Eru

maglite wrote: »

is stupid people doing stupid things a legitimate gripe?

Far better than intelligent people doing intelligent things:D

maglite

Karlitosway1978 wrote: »

Far better than intelligent people doing intelligent things:D

LOL karl honestly when was the last time you saw an intelligent person being intelligent

Eru

maglite wrote: »

LOL karl honestly when was the last time you saw an intelligent person being intelligent

This morning, about 11am in the mirror. I was telling myself how damn intelligent I am

TheNog

Karlitosway1978 wrote: »

This morning, about 11am in the mirror. I was telling myself how damn intelligent I am

You sure the missus wasnt standing behind you? :pac:

yayamark

similar to the disabled bay one

Lad pulls into a disabled bay in front of me at around 7pm.

I go "you cant park there it a disabled bay"

Genius says "I thought i could park there after 6pm"

I go "Do you think disabled people put away their wheelchairs and walk around after 6pm?"

Cue my partner bent over laughing and genius scratching his head and uterrs "Eh No" and turns around to go back to his car.

opti76

while taking a car off a complete scumbag

garda why arent you out catching the real criminals..

me: i tried that but to be honest i was **** at it .. pretty good at seizing cars though

Eru

"Your only doing this because Im black"

Responces:

"Why would you say that? Is it because Im white you racist?"

"No, thats only ONE of the reasons"

Disclaimer, I only say this when pointing out how playing the race card is a waste of time. My actions are not based on race or colour before someone goes nuts.

TheNog

I had one Nigerian try to pull that one on me when I was S.O. Cheeky bastard said it in front of 2-3 people in the public office. This is how it went:

Him: Tell me where my wife is? (she was in the womans shelter)

Me: No

Him: Why are you treating like this? Is it because I am black and you are a racist? Why won;t you tell me where my wife and children are? (Everyones faces show shock)

Me: No its cos you are a wife beater. (Man leaves the station in shame while people start to laugh)

deadwood

TheNog wrote: »

Me: No its cos you are a wife beater. (Man leaves the station in shame while people start to laugh)

....and then after thinking about it for a second "..allegedly, sir.":D

metman

Speaking of smart replies, colleague of mine, old sweat area car driver and I put in a stop on a car one morning. The stop went like this:

Simon (Area car driver): Ello Sir, are you in a particular hurry?
Driver: Yes officer, I'm running late for work. I'm a company director.
Simon: Ah I see. Not an excuse to drive like you were driving. Can I see your license?
Driver: This is typical. Have you no murderers or robbers to catch?
Simon (not batting an eyelid, gets on his radio): Control from *callsign*
Control room: *Callsign* go ahead.
Simon: Have we any murders or robberies that need our immediate attention?
Control room: Ummmm that's a negative, over?!
Simon: Yeah, all received ta. Sir as you heard, no we don't have any murderers or robbers to deal with at the minute so I'll deal with you and your driving. Ok?
Driver: ............

Priceless. You just can't teach it.

deadwood

"Wouldn't be better off going after real criminals besides doing me for no seat belt/speeding/pissing/after-hours etc.?"

Deadwood reply#4.
"Well if [EMAIL="F@?kwits/gentlemen/ladies"]F@?kwits/gentlemen/ladies[/EMAIL] like you would just wear the seatbelt designed for saving YOUR life. I could spend more time after real criminals.

(This is especially useful for raiding pubs, minor public order offences etc.)

CO19

deadwood wrote: »

" designed for saving YOUR life. I

Why is it forced on people to wear seatbelts ? I mean everyone knows they can save you life and not wearing one is stupid but it should be up to the person to decide whether or not they'll wear it or not as it's their life that's going to be affected in the end,well that's just what I think anyway.

SV

CO19 wrote: »

Why is it forced on people to wear seatbelts ? I mean everyone knows they can save you life and not wearing one is stupid but it should be up to the person to decide whether or not they'll wear it or not as it's their life that's going to be affected in the end,well that's just what I think anyway.

If they are on their own in the car then maybe.

But isn't suicide illegal?

deadwood

CO19 wrote: »

Why is it forced on people to wear seatbelts ? I mean everyone knows they can save you life and not wearing one is stupid but it should be up to the person to decide whether or not they'll wear it or not as it's their life that's going to be affected in the end,well that's just what I think anyway.

If you have an accident, you are a liability on the state (i.e.taxpayer). No matter how much medical insurance you or your company/medical card pays, it is still provided by the state (that's us again!) to a large degree because you are using up valuable resources. e.g. Gardai, ambulance, fire services, insurance assessors, county council engineers ...and so on and on.

A single vehicle RTA with, e.g., driver only casualty may require physio/hospital treatment for weeks/months/years. Post trauma therapy,
Family may have to give up work - the list goes on.

County Council/HSE may have to provide adaptive housing/transport/care.

The list goes on....and on.....and even on


Yeah., don't bother with a seat belt/speed limit or drink driving enforcement- it's your own own funeral. (At the risk of sounding insensetive, a funeral would be cheaper, I guess.)

CO19

deadwood wrote: »

If you have an accident, you are a liability on the state (i.e.taxpayer). No matter how much medical insurance you or your company/medical card pays, it is still provided by te state (us again) to a large degree because you are using up valuable resources. e.g. Gardai, ambulance, fire services, insurance assessors, county council engineers ...and so on.

A single vehicle RTA ith driver only casualty may require physio/hospital treatment for weeks/months/years.
Family ay have to give up work.
County Council/HSE may have to provide adaptive housing/transport/care.

The list goes on....and on.


Should be up to the person, eh?

Ah now I see thanks I just couldn't see why but can now .
Same could be kinda said about smokers though couldn't it ? cause they'll be turning to the state for treatment if they get cancer.

deadwood

CO19 wrote: »

Ah now I see thanks I just couldn't see why but can now .
Same could be kinda said about smokers though couldn't it ? cause they'll be turning to the state for treatment if they get cancer.

Now you get it!
It all comes down to $$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

CO19

deadwood wrote: »

Now you get it!
It all comes down to $$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

Yea very true and here was me thinking that the govt actually cared bout us .......

deadwood

CO19 wrote: »

Yea very true and here was me thinking that the govt actually cared bout us .......

So young.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

metman

As an aside, CO19, what's behind the choice of username?

CO19

deadwood wrote: »

So young.:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

Yes I am

CO19

metman wrote: »

As an aside, CO19, what's behind the choice of username?

Click my user profile and you'll see