AH Mock the Week.... Show us your stand up comedy skills!

Darragh29 · 25-09-2008 11:59pm #1

I'm Darragh O' Brein, and this is AH Mock the week. Our first round is the quick fire round, so if our contestents can make their way over to the performance area please...

The first subject tonight is..."

Unlikely lines for Brian Cowen to use in the upcoming budget...

AlmightyCushion · 26-09-2008 12:16am

Expect public spending to drop significantly over the next few months but we will be making better use of the money we are spending as I've just made the bargain alerts forum our new minister for finance.

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 12:29am

A Ceann Comhairle, before I begin announcing the budget for 2008, I wish to announce a cabinet reshuffle to assist us with immediately stablising the economic situation and positioning the economy to be best able to take advantage of positive growth patterns when they emerge...

super_furry · 26-09-2008 12:32am

So lads......any ideas?

Reganio 2 · 26-09-2008 12:42am

Feck the budget.... lets just all go out on the piss.

JC 2K3 · 26-09-2008 12:46am

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 12:56am

I reject what the deputy says a Ceann Comhairle, people should follow my lead and renew their efforts to kick start the property market in this country...

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 12:58am

The Irish people need to get behind the political leadership being shown here today and take a hands on approach to this crisis...

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:01am

Fianna Fail have now identified the key information contained in recent trends...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 26-09-2008 1:03am

"Our Father, who art in Heaven..."

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:09am

This's ground control to Major Tom.......

zuroph · 26-09-2008 1:16am

this is all the no voters fault!!!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 26-09-2008 1:18am

Darragh29 wrote: »

Unlikely lines for Brian Cowen to use in the upcoming budget...

YORE MA!

brendansmith · 26-09-2008 1:20am

Sorry, too crap to leave up!

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:22am

Because of the special circustances of this years budget, we've asked Bertie Aherne to give a quick speech and possibly show us what we can do to steer our way out of this mess... Deputy Aherne??? Deputy Aherne??? Has anyone seen Bertie Aherne???

hairyfairy00 · 26-09-2008 1:22am

Jabba, jabba, jabba Wookie!

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:23am

I know how we can raise some money for the exchequer!!! I heard murmerings in Brussels last week that Robert Mugabe is in the market for some E-voting machines!!!!

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:29am

"I can hardly keep a fu*kin straight face around here!"

smodgley · 26-09-2008 1:30am

:plets all feck off back to london sure wont they be lookin for builders for to build for the runnin thingy there in 2012:p

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:35am

Look lads, we've 10 quid left in the national coffers, anyone fancy a trip to Supermacs???

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:46am

I know he's dead years, I know, I don't need to be reminded of that, but he'd be more fu*kin use than Brian Lenihan!!!

dionsiseire · 26-09-2008 1:53am

and now onto income sources, well actually i got an email last night from a billionaire in nigeria, apparently if i let him rest his money in my account we can have half of it.

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:59am

As Taoiseach I announce the establishment of a task force, which will be headed up by someone who has been recommended to us by a committee of specially comissioned HR experts, who have head hunted this individual on our behalf to take us through these difficult economic times...

zuroph · 26-09-2008 2:00am

darragh29 has contributed too much to his own thread.

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:01am

I introduce the chairman of the new economic taskforce...

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:05am

We've also hired a consultant to advise the chairman in the event that he needs expert managerial advice at this difficult time...

zuroph · 26-09-2008 2:13am

and should also know that the comedians on mock the week dont have the option to show photos.

Timans · 26-09-2008 2:15am

"The Recession is the Jews fault"

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:16am

zuroph wrote: »

and should also know that the comedians on mock the week dont have the option to show photos.

Well we don't have the stage that they have so we'll just have to improvise!

Call Me Jimmy · 26-09-2008 2:17am

I thought Dara O' Brien sat silently for this part of the show?

zuroph · 26-09-2008 2:19am

exactly. this whole thread needs to be locked. i've reported ti, and recommended a ban.

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:22am

zuroph wrote: »

exactly. this whole thread needs to be locked. i've reported ti, and recommended a ban.

2 points to you for that joke!

zuroph · 26-09-2008 2:26am

Darragh29 wrote: »

2 points to you for that joke!

you cant buy me, im not bertie.

Call Me Jimmy · 26-09-2008 2:33am

what a post, zuroph! not only is it a response to darragh's attempt to bribe you into keeping the thread alive but it also serves as a genuine reply to the thread insofar as being something you wouldn't hear brian cowen saying! Smashing... just smashing!

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:37am

Haha, at least you manged to stay on topic!

dionsiseire · 26-09-2008 12:47pm

Sorry lads, no tax cuts this year, ive spent the surplus on a giant sign saying biffo to be placed on the wicklow mountains

buckieburd · 26-09-2008 12:51pm

'Ah sure it's only money.....'

KnifeWRENCH · 26-09-2008 12:55pm

"Recession is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it a "happy, temporary non-apocalyptic period of economic transition and financial adjustment."

Turd Ferguson · 26-09-2008 1:01pm

Guys, I've bet the entire budget on Ireland to beat Cyprus...its not my problem anymore.

Nerin · 26-09-2008 1:02pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I thought Dara O' Brien sat silently for this part of the show?

thought the subjects changed too

newballsplease · 26-09-2008 1:13pm

DARA O BRIEN- I HATE HIM FOR ONE REASON ONLY. every time hes says a joke he goes...EEGHHHHH after it.
pisses me off

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 1:14pm

Nerin wrote: »

thought the subjects changed too

Grand, change the subject!

Joeface · 26-09-2008 1:28pm

"A Ceann Comhairle , Deptuies With the recession Looming , I have personally seen to it that this legislation for the legalistion of prostition will help reignite our ecomony as The red light district of Europe and will again stimiluate the building industry as we build Brothels and Fetish Dens and also the tourist industry"....................oh wait that might work

Cookie_Monster · 26-09-2008 2:22pm

ROUND 2 anyone?

Darragh29 · 26-09-2008 2:32pm

What's the topic?

Joeface · 26-09-2008 2:35pm

Arent U the Host

SV · 26-09-2008 2:40pm

He should bet the entie budget on Ireland not making it into the world cup...has to be worth something.

BroomBurner · 26-09-2008 2:41pm

I like to wear women's underwear and nylon panti-hose while Harney rides me like a beach donkey

zuroph · 26-09-2008 2:47pm

new topic
questions unlikely to be asked at the Obama Vs. McCain debate...
GO GO GO!!

Joeface · 26-09-2008 2:48pm

BroomBurner seriously bad horrible images get help lol

"Its ok everyone I have just taken all our money out of AIB and put it in Northern Rock , At least that way the british Goverment are covering it "

" I an effort to boost Goverment Coffers , Mary Harney has agree to offer lap dances for money to he opposition .Depty Kenny first offer is to you"

Joeface · 26-09-2008 2:49pm

questions unlikely to be asked at the Obama Vs. McCain debate...

Senator McCain are u infact Satan , Debate

AH Mock the Week.... Show us your stand up comedy skills!

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