Why won't men go to the doctor?

Tom Dunne

I have a medical thing for the past year or two that I know I really should go to the doctor to get checked out. I also have a mole that is beginning to look like a new appendage. But I keep putting off that trip to the doctor.

Why?

Why do we do it? Why are we not as health aware as the ladies? Is it fear? Is it a macho thing? Is it an inability to deal with the fact that there might be something wrong? What is it?

I honestly don't know why I keep putting it off. I don't know why I won't get the finger out and get my lazy arse down to the local surgery and get myself sorted. For me, I don't think it's fear, I think it is pure laziness.

So, why do we do it? Or, more to the point, why don't we do it?

Will

Fear and stubborness, I don't think we like to admit we are vulnerable

monkeyfudge

I'm the same.

I think it's a 'most likely it's nothing' attitude.

You should feel good that the doctor has told you that there's nothing wrong with you... but you don't... you feel cheated and ripped off that you just spent €50 for nothing.

Maybe that's just the Jew in me though...

Delirium

Personally, I have no problem going to the doctors. About 2 months ago I was in work and got this blinding headache. About 2 hours later, started get dizzy as well, didn't even wait to finish work. Told the boss and went straight to the doctor. Had to get a shot to feel human again.

Also got a really bad ear infection as well this year. Went to the doctor as soon I had an idea that a doctor was called for.

The only reasons I can think of are that I don't mind going to the doctor is I had a couple of surgeries when I was young, so I don't feel uncomfortable around doctors. Also, I'm a terrible to be around when ill, have a very short temper.

Tom Dunne

I think you have hit on two important points.

koth wrote: »

Personally, I have no problem going to the doctors. About 2 months ago I was in work and got this blinding headache. About 2 hours later, started get dizzy as well, didn't even wait to finish work. Told the boss and went straight to the doctor. Had to get a shot to feel human again.

Is that what we do? Only go when it gets really bad? Only go when we have to? Thankfully, the worst illness I have ever had was the flu last Christmas, and even then, I didn't go to a doctor, despite the fact I couldn't physically get out of bed for three days and lived on a diet of water and paracetamol.

koth wrote: »

The only reasons I can think of are that I don't mind going to the doctor is I had a couple of surgeries when I was young, so I don't feel uncomfortable around doctors. Also, I'm a terrible to be around when ill, have a very short temper.

This point is important too. I think, because I haven't had to go to a doctor (apart for insurance reasons ), I have a sub-conscious fear of them.

monkeyfudge

There's also the fact that I don't like having much of a fuss made about me.

I got stabbed in the chest once and refused to have an ambulance called. Got to the hospital under my own steam. Didn't allow my body to go into shock until I was on a hospital gurney.

They wanted to keep me in for 3 days for observation... but luckily I'd done some contract work for the hospital recently and knew the administrator and was able to rush through a bunch of tests and I was out of there in under 24 hours.

Shiminay

I go when I feel the need, which thankfully isn't often.

A big factor for me is cost - I earn feck all and €50 is a signifigant dent in my weekly spend.

I don't consciously think I'd be avoiding it incase it's bad news. When my dad got sick, he'd apparantly been favouring his side for some time and didn't see a doc. Had he done so, he'd probably still be alive - had an abscess on his right kidney which ruptured cause it wasn't caught in time and he died of sceptacemia. That's the sorta thing that'll make you think twice about avoiding it cause "arrah, it'll clear up itself"

brianthebard

I wonder is it because we are brought to the doctors as a child, rather than thinking "oh that feels/looks bad, maybe I should go to the doc/tell someone?" I fractured my shin before and it was a week before I went to the doctor cause we waited to see if it stopped hurting (it didn't). I had a hernia but only found that out because of something else I was having an op for, which again I didn't go to the doc for, it was spotted in a medical exam they gave all students at the time (I was ten I think). The only time I can think of actually going to me ma and saying "Doctor time!" is when I rolled down a hill and broke my finger with my knee. It was sticking out at a weird angle and was obviously broke. Of course the first thing I did was pull it in beside the other finger. Apart from that I can only think of one other time I've wanted to go to the docs before in the last ten-twelve years, that was 4 years ago, I had tonsilitis and a fever and was almost hallucinating, and I still didn't go for a week or more.
Basically in my experience at least, I wasn't really taught to take control of my health, it was always up to someone else to decide. Maybe my ma was just a control freak though.

g'em

monkeyfudge wrote: »

I got stabbed in the chest once and refused to have an ambulance called. Got to the hospital under my own steam. Didn't allow my body to go into shock until I was on a hospital gurney.

:eek: Holy schlamoly...

So for those of you who feel reluctant to go to the doctor, what would make it easier?

Obviously cost is an issue (claiming back on your medical expenses each year ftw btw!), but could GP's make themselves more accessible to men in some way? Is there anything they could do to make it less of a 'big deal' to go and see one?

brianthebard

Medical cards make it easier for me...

monkeyfudge

g'em wrote: »

Obviously cost is an issue (claiming back on your medical expenses each year ftw btw!), but could GP's make themselves more accessible to men in some way? Is there anything they could do to make it less of a 'big deal' to go and see one?

My main problem with my local GPs is that they are all flakes. They all give you worthless homeopathy pills that you don't want... and one guy even has dolphin songs playing in his surgery.

g'em

monkeyfudge wrote: »

My main problem with my local GPs is that they are all flakes. They all give you worthless homeopathy pills that you don't want... and one guy even has dolphin songs playing in his surgery.

Dolphin songs? Oh dear. It can be really tough to find a good GP alright, they tend to be far and few between, but they are out there. Good (great?) GPs never make you feel silly or a time waster for going to see them, they treat you like a human, they don't push any medication onto you that you don't want and they listen.

I can understand the whole 'not wanting to make a fuss' thing too, but the other way to look at it is that by not going to see medical professionals you're actually making more of a fuss. Getting a problem seen to and treated is simple. Ignoring a problem until it mainfests itself as something incredibly serious and difficult will make your life, and the lives of everyone who cares about you, bloody impossible.

Tom Dunne

g'em wrote: »

:eek: Holy schlamoly...

So for those of you who feel reluctant to go to the doctor, what would make it easier?

That's a good question. I suppose, being lazy, convenience is a big thing. I know our local doctor is appointment only, and from 9:30am - 12:30pm four days a week. Completely unsuitable for somebody getting home at 7:00pm.

g'em wrote: »

Obviously cost is an issue (claiming back on your medical expenses each year ftw btw!), but could GP's make themselves more accessible to men in some way? Is there anything they could do to make it less of a 'big deal' to go and see one?

I suppose I am in the fortunate position in that cost really isn't an issue (though I didn't realise it was €50 :eek:). As to what would make it easier, better opening times, I suppose.

I don't know of one in my locality that is open after 5:00pm.

g'em

Tom Dunne wrote: »

I don't know of one in my locality that is open after 5:00pm.

That's dreadful tbh and I can aboslutely see how it makes things awkward. It makes it too easy to not go! Personally I wouldn't just see a GP, I have a whole cohort of medical-type folk I go to see.

I go to see the GP for general "I'm not well and I need you to fix me" issues, physio's and sports therapists (self-explanatory) and two different Well Woman clinics that I go to for various feminine needs. All the above have accessible opening hours (after/ before work mostly) but the costs do tend to add up. Each GP visit is €45 to €60, the clinic visits go up to €150 depending on what needs to be sorted and the sports' stuff is around €30 - €70 a pop.

In my eyes my health is one of the most precious things I have. If it takes a few bob to take care of it then so be it, but admittedly I am lucky to be in a position to be able to afford it in the first place. Having said that you can claim back medical expenses over €125 each year and that helps massively.

Funnily enough where sports therapy is concerned, most guys I know have *no* problem getting help - maybe because what's at risk is more evident?

Looby_Loo

I know it is stereotypically a male thing, the "Oh, it will be grand" response to any sort of ailment is pretty standard. But I also think part of it comes from the Irish conditioning, not being proactive about their health. Out of hours surgery times that don't involve travelling long distances to Care-Doc services would encourage people to see the doctor when they are unable to take time off work.

von Neumann

There's not as much that goes wrong with us, so we then to loose touch with our GP.

We think we have to be tough on the outside and don't like to let weakness show.

They could also do with being a bit more manly, more barbar shop, less hairdressers, if you know what I mean.

Saying all this I still won't go, and I have a problem with my ticker :eek:

Zaph

brianthebard wrote: »

I wonder is it because we are brought to the doctors as a child, rather than thinking "oh that feels/looks bad, maybe I should go to the doc/tell someone?"

Basically in my experience at least, I wasn't really taught to take control of my health, it was always up to someone else to decide. Maybe my ma was just a control freak though.

All kids are "brought to the doctor", you're too young to make that sort of decision yourself, but women are far better at taking control of health issues when they grow up, so I don't think that argument really holds. Someone made a very valid point to me a while back - girls can start having periods from the age of 10 or so onwards, which makes them think more about their body and how to look after it from quite a young age. Boys don't have anything like that to go through, so we're less used to reacting to what happens to our bodies.

Tom Dunne wrote: »

That's a good question. I suppose, being lazy, convenience is a big thing. I know our local doctor is appointment only, and from 9:30am - 12:30pm four days a week. Completely unsuitable for somebody getting home at 7:00pm.

I changed my doctor last year for that exact reason. The doctor I had been going to cut her hours to the point that it's hardly worth her while have surgery at all imo. I need to get replacement prescriptions for inhalers every 6 months, so I need to have a doctor that's accessible. As it happens, I'm much happier with the new guy than I was with my previous doctor, which is a bonus.

challengemaster

If I need to go, I'll go. I don't often though, it's probably not even once a year if lucky.

Stheno

Tom Dunne wrote: »

That's a good question. I suppose, being lazy, convenience is a big thing. I know our local doctor is appointment only, and from 9:30am - 12:30pm four days a week. Completely unsuitable for somebody getting home at 7:00pm.


I don't know of one in my locality that is open after 5:00pm.

Tom, don't know what county you live in but all of the HSE areas now have an out of hours doctors service, which is meant to provide doctor cover rather than send people unnecessarily to A&E.

May not be much good for routine stuff but just an fyi if you find yourself in a *suddenly ill and need a doctor* scenario, I used mine in the past when e.g. I was on nicorette patches and developed severe vomiting as a result of allergy to the patches.

I'm lucky with my doctor, in that his practice hours are 10am-1pm and 3pm - 10pm Mon - Sat and 3-10pm Sun but that's very rare.

Zaph wrote: »

Someone made a very valid point to me a while back - girls can start having periods from the age of 10 or so onwards, which makes them think more about their body and how to look after it from quite a young age. Boys don't have anything like that to go through, so we're less used to reacting to what happens to our bodies.

I think this is a really valid point, it's rather sad tho when one considers that testicular cancer is a disease that does affect younger men.
Is there an education factor as well?

ChewChew

I know Dublin and Kildare both have the D-Doc and the K-Doc service which is supposed to help people when it comes tot them needing medical attenion and to free up A&E depts. This is not happening. If you go to one of these 'services' you pay €80 or €90 but if you go to A&E you only pay €66 so for some people, that is a significant difference! So realistically, the government havent really tought that one through. But, in my own opinion, and the way the health service is running at the moment all these smaller 'services' will be gone by the end of next year.

Anyways on topic, from what I've seen of men going to the doc I saw it with my own Dad. Hard workin man. Typical active 48 year old. (not an old man at all) enjoyed his pint on a saturday and his cigarette. He was fit and healthy or so we thought. Woke up one morning, his back was sore but never payed much regard to it. And away he went on about his daily business. but each day the pain got worse and worse. He was then taking more and more solpadeine. about 6 months had passed and the man refused, point blank, to go to a doctor.

Eventually, he realise he had to go and see someone about it. After much persuasian from my mum he agreed to go to the gp. first of all though, he was now addicted to solpadeine so we had to put him through cold turkey for 3 days to get the solpadine out of him system so we managed that.

Went to the GP. he's convinced dad has slipped a few discs, give him pain killers etc etc. nothing is working. 3 more months Dad gets referred to a respiratory consultant and has various tests. so 9 months have passed. he eventually goes for an MRI. wham bam there you go. all the info the docs need. Dad's spine is covered in tumours. all cancerous, of course.

so in the heel of the hunt and after all the tests and many weeks in hospital, Dad's cancer has now spread to the kidney and lung and has both primary and secondary. Too far for Chemotherapy! his only option = morphine and radiation.

So all in all lads. . .. if he had gone to the doc sooner he most likely would have got all this sorted, got on chemo and would still be around today.

So I would urge you ALL to go to the doc. even if it seems like something small and simple like a mole just go. Whats the harm?? You may be down €50 and 2 or 3 hours out of your day. . but would it not be worth it?? really??

Delirium

ChewChews post reminded me what happened with my boss. He slipped a disc and it trapped a nerve. Over time it gradually got worse, his skin started to discolour, he started to plan his day so he wouldn't have to move very much.
By the time he went to see a doctor he was close to needing a walking stick.

The doctor saw him, and because he had private health insurance, was able to organise surgery to correct the problem. It was a dangerous surgery due to the work being done around the spine. About a week later he was back in work, and the change was amazing, his skin looked healthy and he could walk around as normal. But what was baffling was that he wouldn't put projects on hold, he put his health on hold to accommodate his job.

This also can be a factor in a decision to go to the doctor. Basically, not able to afford the time off and paying the cost with your health.

ChewChew

Koth I know what you mean. My Dad was the same. He used to cycle to work everyday regardlesss of what was going on untill he was told he could no longer work! And then his main concern was ''the wife cant be expected to bring in the money while I sit at home'' and thats what it all boiled down to. Pride. :rolleyes:

Delirium

ChewChew wrote: »

Koth I know what you mean. My Dad was the same. He used to cycle to work everyday regardlesss of what was going on untill he was told he could no longer work! And then his main concern was ''the wife cant be expected to bring in the money while I sit at home'' and thats what it all boiled down to. Pride. :rolleyes:

Plus it can't be easy for loved ones to watch a guy unwilling to do something about his health problems.

Nevyn

Zaph wrote: »

All kids are "brought to the doctor", you're too young to make that sort of decision yourself, but women are far better at taking control of health issues when they grow up, so I don't think that argument really holds. Someone made a very valid point to me a while back - girls can start having periods from the age of 10 or so onwards, which makes them think more about their body and how to look after it from quite a young age. Boys don't have anything like that to go through, so we're less used to reacting to what happens to our bodies.

There is also the fact that most women will have to see a dr for contraception reasons at least 2 to 4 times a year and will have a better relationship with the dr.

ChewChew

koth wrote: »

Plus it can't be easy for loved ones to watch a guy unwilling to do something about his health problems.

It's never easy battling with a loved one to get them to visit a doctor. denial is a nasty, vicious thing. But awareness can be usefull.

If you know of someone who has complaints of stomach upset, weight loss, loss of appetite etc why not go and get some information leaflets and leave them somewhere your loved one will notice them, and possibly pick them up and read? I wonder would that help, or has anyone ever done it??

Ruu_Old

The only way to get me there is dragging along with the kicking and the screaming. Probably the only thing the missus and I argue about. "I'm not paying those cunts to fill me out a prescription and send me out the door in 5 minues!" Hate going to the places, I have very little trust for anyone in a medical profession. That said, things are convenient but expensive in the US. Doctors visits are about $60-$100 (ours normally cost around $20 per visit with insurance) depending on the detail of the exam and they have convenient care clinics open 24/7 and they cost $180 up front before you are seen by a doctor.

ChewChew

Ruu wrote: »

The only way to get me there is dragging along with the kicking and the screaming. Probably the only thing the missus and I argue about. "I'm not paying those cunts to fill me out a prescription and send me out the door in 5 minues!" Hate going to the places, I have very little trust for anyone in a medical profession.

Have you ever thought past the above point you just made though?? the whole ''what if'' or even ''how will/does the wife feel?'' I'd just be interested in your views. . .

Zaph

Ruu wrote: »

I have very little trust for anyone in a medical profession

That brings up an interesting question, because it's something I've heard a lot of guys say - why do so many men not trust doctors?

The way I look at it is that I know shag all about fixing a computer or bricklaying, so if I neeeded either done I'd get a professional in to do it. They've trained for the job, I haven't, and I'd imagine a lot of guys feel the same. The same goes for doctors, they're trained professionals and I can just about put a plaster on a cut, and yet there's a distrust of them that a lot of other professionals don't experience.

brianthebard

I lost a lot of trust in doctors and professionals in general when I went to Uni and saw how the doctors of the future act when they are supposed to be studying. (ie the same way I acted). Perhaps I had higher expectations than I should've to begin with, but I dunno just really struck me that they aren't as smart or as learned as they make out and some people believe.

ChewChew

Zaph wrote: »

That brings up an interesting question, because it's something I've heard a lot of guys say - why do so many men not trust doctors?

Is it a fear of 'what if they cant fix me' or 'what if I hear something I havent prepared myself for' or is it the whole area involving the recent misdiagnosis?? if there is a misdiagnosis for woman experiencing breast cancer, I am assuming it is possible for there to be many other area's open to misdiagnosis?

Holsten

I hate it! Totally freakin dread it, hate hospitals, hate being near them!

I would deffo go if there was something seriously wrong with me, but for small stuff I stick with the whole forget about it and hope it goes away aproach.

ChewChew

brianthebard wrote: »

I lost a lot of trust in doctors and professionals in general when I went to Uni and saw how the doctors of the future act when they are supposed to be studying. (ie the same way I acted). Perhaps I had higher expectations than I should've to begin with, but I dunno just really struck me that they aren't as smart or as learned as they make out and some people believe.

I know what you mean. Working with doctors everyday, I am dealing with them all the time face to face and on the phone and sometimes I really have to wonder about a few of them. I think they get so involved in 'the body' that the cant manage to learn how to deal with all other aspects of life. Some of them need to be taken by the hand and thought how to deal with people.

RobertFoster

Tom Dunne wrote: »

Why do we do it? Why are we not as health aware as the ladies? Is it fear? Is it a macho thing? Is it an inability to deal with the fact that there might be something wrong? What is it?

Ah, sure, it might clear up on it's own :pac:

What if it's something serious? Or worse, not serious at all and you look like a lula for even worrying?

It's grand, everyones left testicle tips off their ankle in the shower, nothing to worry about at all

DefenseSoapEire

monkeyfudge wrote: »

You should feel good that the doctor has told you that there's nothing wrong with you... but you don't... you feel cheated and ripped off that you just spent €50 for nothing.

+1

KnifeWRENCH

I always go the doctor if there's anything at all amiss with me. I have a medical card so that makes things much easier financially.
I don't get the whole "stubornness" thing. If you're sick, you're sick.

smashey

Q; What do you call the guy who finishes bottom of class in medical school?

A; Doctor.

I go when I have to, it's kind of like a no-brainer.

helimachoptor

Not sure why I dont like going...

Had Pneumonia for a month over december/start of january when I was 18 didnt go to the doc. I was always of the attitude that my body will heal itself.

Ended up feeling like a disembodied spirit walking around i.e. I would take a step but it would take a few seconds for my vision to catch up.

Ended up going to the GP, 5 mins later there was an ambulance there to pick me up 2 weeks later got discharged I had the senior registrar bring me into a room and tell me not be such a d*ckhead again as another few days I would have been in serious danger of dying.

A couple of years later, got a bad case of conjuctivitis so went to the GP and got osme eye drops. Got better for a few days then go even worse. Got strongers drops. No effect. Went to eye and ear hospital. Got same drops as first time (despite me telling them I already had them) Came back 3 days later as I had pretty much scoure my eyes in the morning to get the solidified goo off them. went back got some tablets and some drops was fine about a week later.


I've broke quite a few fingers from football. usually I'd just strap them up and a few weeks later be fine. This one time the new GF on the scene nagged me til I went to casualty.... felt like such a plonker...

g'em

An interesting article about this topic and a survey carried out on over 1000 men would seem to agree with much of the sentiments expressed here. From the article:

Many men are raised to act stoic, tough, and independent—to stay in control and hide their vulnerability. Consequently, they come to view themselves as immune to disease. Men also may fear that others will interpret their nonemergency doctor’s visits as unmanly or weak, especially if the men around them also avoid preventive medical care.

But in this day and age, isn't that really quite an archaic way to be looking at these things? I wonder is there a difference between the older generation boardsie's and the newer generation where men's health is concerned? I'd hazard a guess that there is...

brianthebard

ChewChew wrote: »

I know what you mean. Working with doctors everyday, I am dealing with them all the time face to face and on the phone and sometimes I really have to wonder about a few of them. I think they get so involved in 'the body' that the cant manage to learn how to deal with all other aspects of life. Some of them need to be taken by the hand and thought how to deal with people.

Well there's that too, but I was actually thinking more along the lines of what Smashey said. I mean I just think of the blanks in my education caused by missing a lecture or half a module at times and transfer that to a situation where people are depending on me to know something cause its a medical issue....and I have to wonder how much they really know, or did they just knuckle down to study in final year and haven't touched a textbook since?

Dragan

Basically because finding out you are sick can be a big and scary thing.

So being foolish we prefer to live with the "if i don't know i don't care" type attitude. It's stupid. I did the same myself when it was painfully obvious that something was up.

And I was happy enough to fool myself into thinking that because i got my regular check ups i was fine. Well the body sends us messages when it's getting ill and check ups sadly can't spot everything.

If your worried about something, go to the goddamn doctor.