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chat up lines

«1

Comments

  • #2
    Random
    Closed Accounts Posts: 19,080 ✭✭✭✭Random


    No.


  • #3
    Latchy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21,191 ✭✭✭✭Latchy


    It's being done before .....but ok

    '' So Hun, what's a bad looking girl like you doing in a nice place like this ? ''

    there


  • #4
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    I don't know what I like, but I know what I don't like:



    ''Hi, I am a person who obviously has very little to say about anything, but I am happy for you to get the conversation going all the time. You can presume I am the same in bed''


  • #5
    elmolesto
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,721 ✭✭✭elmolesto


    It's been done before. Here, here, or there and over here

    Use the search button before starting a thread:rolleyes:


  • #6
    rediguana
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭rediguana


    elmolesto wrote: »
    It's been done before. Here, here, or there and over here

    Use the search button before starting a thread:rolleyes:

    Stop preaching. Does the Bible not say "There is nothing new under the sun"?


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  • #7
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    Worst one was just vile!!

    ''ahh I got something I can (beep) up that skirt, a whole seven inches''!! :mad: Bloody pr!ck!!

    "Give us a shot of ya".. didn't work too well either! :o



    Though the most pity evoking one was, ''my friend wants to know if he can bend ya over that van out there..''. :eek:

    Cheesiest was probably, ''I could just drown in your eyes''... :D:D:D :o


  • #8
    Stercus Accidit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,758 ✭✭✭Stercus Accidit


    "Head, or out of the bed."

    Quoted from a friend last weekend when he was getting nowhere with a girl in bed.

    She left.


  • #9
    Max_Damage
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,461 ✭✭✭Max_Damage


    'Does your growler need a lodger, luv?'


  • #10
    girl_friday
    Subscribers Posts: 5,766 ✭✭✭girl_friday


    I recently got chatted up with the line: "Jesus, you've a great rack and a very cheeky smile... I'd say you're a real goer in bed!!" :rolleyes:

    It didn't work!! I sent him home to his wife!! :mad: God love the poor woman! :eek:


  • #11
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    ''ahh I got something I can (beep) up that skirt, a whole seven inches''!! :mad: Bloody pr!ck!!
    Lol, appropriate epithet! :pac:


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  • #12
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    Lol, appropriate epithet! :pac:

    Why am I not surprised Randy?!! :o:p


  • #13
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    "Hi gorgeous, show us yer gee."

    Never fails.:D


  • #14
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    I may not be the best lookin lad in here but I'm the only one talking to you.



    Guaranteed to get ya some ;)


  • #15
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    pablomakaveli wrote: »
    "Hi gorgeous, show us yer gee."

    Never fails to get you kicked in the nads ....:D
    ... i suspect! :pac:


  • #16
    pablomakaveli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,752 ✭✭✭pablomakaveli


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    ... i suspect! :pac:

    LOL

    You suspected right.


  • #17
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    ClioV6 wrote: »
    I may not be the best lookin lad in here but I'm the only one talking to you.



    Guaranteed to get ya some ;)

    Heh... :D


  • #18
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    Guy: Can you drive?

    Girl: Yes/no/whatever

    Guy: (with cock out in hand), well then reverse into this!


  • #19
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Oh, God! :(

    Subtle as a p brick! :pac:


  • #20
    WindSock
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18,239 ✭✭✭✭WindSock


    Heh. I never heard any of these awful lines :(


  • #21
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    WindSock wrote: »
    Heh. I never heard any of these awful lines :(

    Haha don't worry, I don't think any of the ones I posted were actual chat up lines.. more like chat up attempts, really awful ones... :confused:


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  • #22
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    Guy: Do you want to play Titanic?

    Girl: Ok, how do I play Titanic?

    Guy: Well, I shout iceberg and then you go down!


  • #23
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    Guy: Hi, is your sirname Jacobs by any chance?

    Girl: No, why you think that?

    Guy: You just look like a cracker!


  • #24
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    Heh... :D


    Told ya ;)

    haha... :D


  • #25
    longshanks
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,990 ✭✭✭longshanks


    are you tired??

    no, why?

    you've been running through my mind all night....... covered in blood, screaming, missing an ear


  • #26
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,183 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    Asked a girl for a light. She said there was a spark between us. I thought it was funny. :pac:


  • #27
    Ricky91t
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,281 ✭✭✭Ricky91t


    "Hi,How are you"
    Works like a charm :D


  • #28
    SV
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,534 ✭✭✭SV


    ricky91t wrote: »
    "Hi,How are you"
    Works like a charm :D

    unless it's an irish girl in a nightclub in which case you'll get the response;

    "I'm ****in fine, whats your problem ya ugly bastardddddd ya"
    and a drink poured over ya!* ;)






    *complete lies! they'll kick ya in the balls instead:pac::pac:


  • #29
    challengemaster
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,930 ✭✭✭✭challengemaster


    Who needs chat up lines when you've got an elephant.


  • #30
    claret
    Closed Accounts Posts: 78 ✭✭claret


    Heard this one the other day. Very corny!

    Guy: Do you like raisins?
    Girl: Yes/No
    Guy: How about a date?


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  • #31
    krpc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 619 ✭✭✭krpc


    ClioV6 wrote: »
    unless it's an irish girl in a nightclub in which case you'll get the response;

    "I'm ****in fine, whats your problem ya ugly bastardddddd ya"
    and a drink poured over ya!* ;)






    *complete lies! they'll kick ya in the balls instead:pac::pac:

    She's probably riddle ye with a load of virus' in the meantime too.


  • #32
    SmileyPaul
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,558 ✭✭✭SmileyPaul


    hey, are you wearing space pants? coz your ass is outta this world :pac:
    hey, is your dad a baker? coz you have great buns :pac:


  • #33
    Orange69
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,139 ✭✭✭Orange69


    Do you come here often?


  • #34
    ottostreet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,987 ✭✭✭ottostreet


    not too sure about chat up lines...dont think id have the nerve to try anything beyond basic conversations and VERY basic compliments.


  • #35
    jazoo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 355 ✭✭jazoo


    can i feel your bellybutton,girl giggles ok ,you say no i meant from the inside


  • #36
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,972 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    WTF? Wasn't there a thread of these less than a week ago?

    link to more links


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  • #37
    truecrippler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭truecrippler


    Fancy a shot of this???


  • #38
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    I once had a guy sidle over to me and ask "What's me chances of getting a hould of you tonight" :D Didn't work I'm afraid - he was as wide as he was tall.


  • #39
    truecrippler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭truecrippler


    Firetrap wrote: »
    I once had a guy sidle over to me and ask "What's me chances of getting a hould of you tonight" :D Didn't work I'm afraid - he was as wide as he was tall.

    Was he this guy?


  • #40
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    I once had a girl give me a Euro and telling me to ring me ma to tell her I wouldn't be home tonight! And, I still managed to mess it up! It's weird what you can make a balls of when you are 22 when if the same situation presents itself ten years afterwards, you'd be in like Flynn!!!


  • #41
    Darragh29
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭Darragh29


    Firetrap wrote: »
    I once had a guy sidle over to me and ask "What's me chances of getting a hould of you tonight" :D Didn't work I'm afraid - he was as wide as he was tall.

    Or this stud?


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  • #42
    Firetrap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,442 ✭✭✭Firetrap


    That's a man?? :eek:

    Heh. He wasn't too far off the chap in that photo - I saw a documentary on him a while ago. What I still can't get over is that he's got a girlfriend and they have sex. I didn't think his johnson would manage to make its way out from underneath all that blubber...


  • #43
    krpc
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 619 ✭✭✭krpc


    Darragh29 wrote: »
    Or this stud?

    A real life Jabba Da Hut.


  • #44
    Fat-Boy Gerrard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6 ✭Fat-Boy Gerrard


    gettin the eyes off this girl for a bit in a club so i approached and asked her to hold my erdinger glass, you know the good big ones (the glass, not the girl) while i went to the toilet

    its empty she said. i said i know i wana keep the glass im gonna knick it later.

    she's clearly not impressed as i return from my tinkle to find she's left it perched on the nearest ledge. i thank her anyway and offer to buy her a drink but she declines

    women...;)


  • #45
    MizzLolly
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,556 ✭✭✭MizzLolly


    Heard an odd one today.

    ''If you come out with me sometime I'll let you taste some Olive Bread''.


    Is olive bread man-code for something else? :confused:


    10 points for his originality though :cool:


  • #46
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    MizzLolly wrote: »
    ''If you come out with me sometime I'll let you taste some Olive Bread''.
    You may have misheard him..

    I think what he said was

    ''If you come out with me sometime I'll let you taste some. I love Head''.


  • #47
    R0ot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,473 ✭✭✭R0ot


    Don't use them, usually just try to find topics of interest to talk about. Also the Donegal accent does wonders. :D


  • #48
    AlanAhern
    Closed Accounts Posts: 69 ✭✭AlanAhern


    My cock is dead......can i bury it in you??







    Works evey time :D


  • #49
    robtri
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,473 ✭✭✭robtri


    when you are as good looking and as smooth as me, who needs them.... :D:D:D


  • #50
    RossFixxxed
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,102 ✭✭✭RossFixxxed


    Let's not turn this rape into a murder.


    Call me Maddie... err.. Daddy!


  • #51
    Nalz
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,890 ✭✭✭✭Nalz


    Q: "Sex?"


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