The Boy Who's A Friend.

Volvoboy

Mate of mine his birds birthday was last night so went out yeasterday and got her a card and a €50 gift voucher for a hair-dressing place, so dropped it into her house before going out.


Dropped them into town and was all thanks for the voucher, and she commented on the card it was one of those carebear cards, ''Ya know women so well'', which was funny 'coz i dont know wimmen that well at all.


So anyway was out later that night and she said this to one of her friends while i was in earshot, to the response ''Are you gahy'':(


Id dont really know what to say, just laughed it off. But i was kinda half trying to get to know this bird who just called me ''gahy'' which was kinda a mood killer.

So later on that night trying to hail a cab she couldnt walk so i kindly offerd a jockey back from temple bar to Connoly station i carried her, but it was always seemed to be a ''A good friend'' type situation.

So how do i go from being a ''Boy whos a friend'' to ''Boy friend''



Merci:)

Text or call and ask her out.

I don't really understand why you feel the need to buy your friends girlfriend a birthday present.

Will

You can't, well it's very difficult and usually ends badly.
Once you're in the friend zone, no going back or changing it.

If you want to be seen as a potential boyfriend to a girl, don't be acting like a buddy. Flirt with her and be cheeky.

Let's just say you have a female friend who is being all buddy buddy with you, and then there's another girl there who is openly flirting with you. Which girl are you most likely gonna think has more than a passing interest in you?

tribulus

Moonbaby wrote: »

I don't really understand why you feel the need to buy your friends girlfriend a birthday present.

It is a bit ghey tbh :pac:

tribulus

tribulus wrote: »

It is a bit ghey tbh :pac:

Actually I think it is more creepy.

Volvoboy

Moonbaby wrote: »

Text or call and ask her out.

I don't really understand why you feel the need to buy your friends girlfriend a birthday present.

Nice to be nice and all that!

Will

Nice to be nice yes, but won't get ya far in life unfortunately.

Where's wibbs when ya need him and his advice damn it

Volvoboy

Will wrote: »

You can't, well it's very difficult and usually ends badly.
Once you're in the friend zone, no going back or changing it.

If you want to be seen as a potential boyfriend to a girl, don't be acting like a buddy. Flirt with her and be cheeky.

Let's just say you have a female friend who is being all buddy buddy with you, and then there's another girl there who is openly flirting with you. Which girl are you most likely gonna think has more than a passing interest in you?

Hmm i hear what your saying, tbh never the best at chatting to the wimmen:o

I was chatting to her a good bit, but on neutral issues, like my job and bits like that.

Will

Will wrote: »

You can't, well it's very difficult and usually ends badly.
Once you're in the friend zone, no going back or changing it.

If you want to be seen as a potential boyfriend to a girl, don't be acting like a buddy. Flirt with her and be cheeky.

Let's just say you have a female friend who is being all buddy buddy with you, and then there's another girl there who is openly flirting with you. Which girl are you most likely gonna think has more than a passing interest in you?

If he has only just met her I don't think he is a zone yet.

If someone is behaving one way. Your likely to feel uneasy when it becomes clear their real intentions are entirely different.
It is the worst idea ever to use a friend route, when you know you are looking for something more.

Volvoboy

Volvoboy wrote: »

Hmm i hear what your saying, tbh never the best at chatting to the wimmen:o

I was chatting to her a good bit, but on neutral issues, like my job and bits like that.

You don't have to flirty and cheeky. Just be yourself but let her know your interested.

Volvoboy

Volvoboy wrote: »

Nice to be nice and all that!

Do you know her otherwise? The people I know who slip 50 euro's in randomn cards, are soft touches who want people to like them.

LolaDub

I think fifty euro for a friends boyfriend is a bit over the top. 20 euro for arnotts or a cd etc would have been fine if you wanted to be nice and get something. You could just say at the end of the night it was nice to meet you could i give you my number and maybe we could meet up sometime?

tallaght01

Moonbaby wrote: »

You don't have to flirty and cheeky. Just be yourself but let her know your interested.

Never be yourself. Pretending to be better than you are gets you SO many more women

Cheekiness, and act like you don't give a flying gee if she's interested or not is the key here, I feels.

tallaght01

tallaght01 wrote: »

Never be yourself. Pretending to be better than you are gets you SO many more women

Cheekiness, and act like you don't give a flying gee if she's interested or not is the key here, I feels.

So Tallaght doesn't really have to fly half a world away to save the lives of babies, the morning after boards beers.


I don't like cocky. I'm sure there are plenty of women who do.
Every shoe has a comrade OP.

Piste

Will wrote: »

You can't, well it's very difficult and usually ends badly.
Once you're in the friend zone, no going back or changing it.

Oh I dunno about that, my current boyfriend was lodged firmly in the friend zone until he broke out and got me to go out with him.


Maybe the chains in the Friend Zone need reinforcing :pac:

AlanSparrowhawk

Moonbaby wrote: »

Every shoe has a comrade OP.

I like that

Volvoboy

Moonbaby wrote: »

Do you know her otherwise? The people I know who slip 50 euro's in randomn cards, are soft touches who want people to like them.

She's been a good friend to me in the past, helped me out with some issuses.

Volvoboy

Volvoboy wrote: »

She's been a good friend to me in the past, helped me out with some issuses.

Ahh that is different then.

Volvoboy

Moonbaby wrote: »

Ahh that is different then.

:rolleyes: In the regard she is a good mate.

GirlInterrupted

Volvoboy wrote: »

Hmm i hear what your saying, tbh never the best at chatting to the wimmen:o

I was chatting to her a good bit, but on neutral issues, like my job and bits like that.

Tell her she's gorgeous, and wink at her. And I don't think being nice is a problem, some of us actually like that. Stop telling her about your job and ask her about herself.

Never compliment her on her clothes or shoes. Tell her she looks good in red/black/whatever but don't be specific as in 'V-necks suit you''.

Don't try to be something you're not, girls don't like that and can spot it. And no more presents for girlfriends of friends. By the way, you seem very nice just as you are.

Volvoboy

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Tell her she's gorgeous, and wink at her. And I don't think being nice is a problem, some of us actually like that. Stop telling her about your job and ask her about herself.

Never compliment her on her clothes or shoes. Tell her she looks good in red/black/whatever but don't be specific as in 'V-necks suit you''.

Don't try to be something you're not, girls don't like that and can spot it. And no more presents for girlfriends of friends. By the way, you seem very nice just as you are.

Thanks GI, i dont go acting up infron of girls to get thier attention, but i didnt think that it was a no-no to get into specifics about clothes.

Pen1987

I agree with GI. From the perspective of a bloke who avoids getting into the friend zone with any new girl I come in contact with like the plague (most of my current friends are female and we're firmly and mutually in the friend zones - I require no more female friends!) I always aviod being too nice, too chatty, and too interested - make sure I stay fun and flirty and never talk about boring stuff like work or let the conversation develop a negetive vibe.

If I do end up in the friend zone which has happened me in the past then I stop paying too much attention to her, flirt with other women and generally like tallaght01 said, let her think I couldnt give a 'flying gee' if she likes me or not. Most women like men who attract other women, so having another woman into you is helpful for getting the one you want. Most women if they think youre into them will take this as a compliment, but if you suddenly seem uninterested they'll wonder why and start to try to attract you again by being flirty and chatty and stuff so you pay attention to them - dont pay them attention if they do this, then when the chance arises, maybe at the end of the night or if shes kept it up for an hour or so turn around to her and tell her straight out 'look I'm going to say this once, and for the record no matter how you answer we're still fine - I'm interested in you I think we could be good together, what do you think?'... catching her off guard like that will usually get an honest answer and it shows youre confident and assertive enough to ask, always a good thing.

Wibbs

What others like will and Pen1987 have said. If you want to be a woman's boyfriend make sure you don't act like her girlfriend from the start. You will get boxed in pretty quick if you do the latter.

Now you can jump from mate to mating but it's by far the less likely route. I agree with women on this one tbh. If you're being friendly with the primary purpose of getting in her knickers well you're being dishonest and displaying lack of confidence. Not good.

Volvoboy

Wibbs wrote: »

What others like will and Pen1987 have said. If you want to be a woman's boyfriend make sure you don't act like her girlfriend from the start. You will get boxed in pretty quick if you do the latter.

Now you can jump from mate to mating but it's by far the less likely route. I agree with women on this one tbh. If you're being friendly with the primary purpose of getting in her knickers well you're being dishonest and displaying lack of confidence. Not good.

Eh, no the primary purpose is'nt getting into her cacks.

Pen1987

... its for a relationship though yeah?


so... in the end really... lets be honest here, its to be with her on a higher level than her friend whos male. Its to have her attracted to you enough that she'll want to be with you.

Either way the same advice applies...

WindSock

Does gahy mean gay?


Well if it does then I think carebear cards are a bit gahy for a grown woman :pac:


As for not being in the friend zone, let her know you are interested subtley, then back off a bit from being chummy. Just enough plant those little thought seeds there in her head

WindSock

WindSock wrote: »

Does gahy mean gay?


Well if it does then I think carebear cards are a bit gahy for a grown woman :pac:

Wouldn't Action man be a bit gahy for a lesbian? Or at least naked barbie.

Piste

Why do guys object to being shunted into the friend zone, do you not like having female friends?

Zaph

Piste wrote: »

Why do guys object to being shunted into the friend zone, do you not like having female friends?

Nothing wrong with having female friends, I have quite a few myself, including my closest friend, but you can find yourself having too many. Now what's too many probably varies from bloke to bloke, but most guys will know when they've reached that point.

Gyalist

Your first mistake is asking women for relationship advice.

Piste

Whenever I meet someone I decide if they can enter the friend zone. Now if they want to get any further they have to spend a period of quarantine in the friend zone- a sort of Ellis Island if you will. Tbh they're lucky if they get that far!

Pen1987

I call bullshits on that^... impossible to quarantine everyone, attraction isnt optional.

A Primal Nut

Piste wrote: »

Why do guys object to being shunted into the friend zone, do you not like having female friends?

What use is a girl if you can't f*ck them?:pac:

Just kidding but seriously, the worst thing is to be in the friend zone with a girl you are very attracted to. Trust me, its horrible.

Riche670

Hi Volvo,

I haven't read all of the replies so apologies if I'm repeating anyone.

Trying to put myself in your situation, is the girl a close friend?

I suggest if you have any funtcions coming up such as a formal dinner, or a ball you invite her as your +1. If not, then get a couple of tickets for a show of some sort (stand-up maybe?), say someone cancelled on you, and take her for a bite to eat afterwards, peck on the cheek as you drop her home.. etc. It might just make her think "maybe we could be more than friends..."

I believe every man has the ability to be charming and funny... give it a shot.

Trinity

Well if a guy was acting like my friend i would assume thats all he wanted to be was a friend.

Now if he asked me out on a date then i would know. I dont like guessing games, if i am interested i let someone know and prefer the same treatment.

Mr. Incognito

Who are you trying to move from friend zone into scoring zone with?

Your mates gf that you bought the stuff for?

Confusion here.

Womins love bastards and drama. Shoot someone.

No seriously, it's a hard one- I reckon you've to get into knickers in the first few weeks or it's not going to happen. The longer the friends thing goes on the more you're in that bracket. Women want to be seen as taking your undivided attention. Doesn't really work if they feel like you're settling cos you can't score their hotter mate.

Failing that......... Grand gesture to cross the border.

Personalised, thoughtfull, amazing date that ends with puppies, roses, hot air balloons and a trip to Ann Summers.

Mikel

Gyalist wrote: »

Your first mistake is asking women for relationship advice.

True, brings out a lot of 'what I would like' responses which don't match the reality.