Girls do you have a sneaky snoop?

Aurora Borealis

A very large majority of my female friends admit to having a snoop in their significant others house when they're not looking,.. pictures, old letters etc. This is not out of suspicion but sheer nosiness or boredom.

Do you succumb to such tactics? Do you reckon most do? and what are your opinions on those who do?

RxQueen

Would never dream of it , cause i wouldnt like it done to me, so i wouldnt do it to others. I'd actually be really pissed off if i found out someone did this to my stuff!

What do i think of other that do it ? am not much , just wouldnt leave them in my house on there own;)

LadyE

Nope, never...why would someone do this???

Serious breech of trust/privacy...why would you go snooping at someones cc bills...or letters...none of my business!

Mr. Incognito

This is not out of suspicion but sheer nosiness or boredom.

That made me laugh out loud. Get real. "I'm sorry I shot him judge, I was bored"

Aurora Borealis

Ah would go way outta that I've had a snoop before out of complete boredom nothing more and no it's not quite comparable with murder. Did feel really bad about it hence this discussion with female friends and it seems girls do this. I know my sister's nickname at home was ferretina as she was always ferreting around in our stuff, out of nosiness not any other malevolant force.

PurplePrincess

Aurora Borealis wrote: »

A very large majority of my female friends admit to having a snoop in their significant others house when they're not looking,.. pictures, old letters etc. This is not out of suspicion but sheer nosiness or boredom.

At the end of the day, thats not nosiness or boredom its distrust.

Never in a million years would I go rooting around someones house, its an invasion of privacy and I'd be sick if I thought someone had done it to me

Mr. Incognito

Ah would go way outta that I've had a snoop before out of complete boredom nothing more and no it's not quite comparable with murder. Did feel really bad about it hence this discussion with female friends and it seems girls do this. I know my sister's nickname at home was ferretina as she was always ferreting around in our stuff, out of nosiness not any other malevolant force

So I guess you'd be kudos with your boyfriend going through your phone, your private stuff, your diary. I mean nothing wrong with that at all.

Great friends you have btw encouraging this behaviour.

Aurora Borealis

Nope not distrust at all and I know I'm not alone in that. FYI it's not my standard practice and I would be peeved too if someone went riffling through my stuff but it does happen and he who has not sinned... I'm trying to establish whether it is a largely female character trait is all.

Everyone can be nosy some times. I found a mate of mine leafing through an old photo album of mine I had on the bottom shelf of a bookcase before and trust me considering the guy is a mate and gay there was nothing behind it other than pure unadulterated curiosity.

Aurora Borealis

SetantaL wrote: »

So I guess you'd be kudos with your boyfriend going through your phone, your private stuff, your diary. I mean nothing wrong with that at all.

Great friends you have btw encouraging this behaviour.

Posted before I saw your response. No there would not be kudos for anyone I found doing this and no I am not encouraging it in friends. Obviously it is not the right thing to do but do we all do the right thing all the time and are all transgressions equally deplorable? I am admitting I have done it and saying I have friends who have done it repeatedly and pondering whether it is mostly a female foible or sin, whatever way you see it.

Hope the air is rarified up there on moral mountain.

Oryx

I live with my SO so its a pretty moot point, Ive never checked his phone and rarely open his post unless I know its the esb bill. In other peoples houses, no I dont rifle through their bathroom cabinet or check under their sink. Checking someones CD collection would be the extent of my snooping. If I want to look through photos, Ill ask. Im no angel, but it just feels wrong to go poking in other peoples stuff. Imagine if they caught you, or if you caught someone doing it to you. Youd feel horrible.

Cathmandooo

Have to say I wouldn't do it to anyone. After rooting through my parents wardrobe and finding certain christmas presents in there years ago I vowed to never snoop like that again, I think it would be something that could easily get out of control, first it's a drawer, then it's a wardrobe, then its the boxes above the wardrobe, then phone :eek:

So no, I'd never do it.

Wibbs

I'd say it's mostly a female thing. I have known guys to do it but not nearly as much. Pretty much all of the women I know with the exception of two have done that with boyfriends.

fits

Wibbs wrote: »

I'd say it's mostly a female thing. I have known guys to do it but not nearly as much. Pretty much all of the women I know with the exception of two have done that with boyfriends.

Who do you be hanging out with

When I'm in someones house, male or female friends I will always look at book/cd/dvd collections and whatever photos are on display, but that would be the extent of it.

I'd be afraid what I'd find if it went any further than that tbh. Ignorance can be bliss.

Aurora Borealis

Wibbs maybe we're hanging out in the same circles so....

Personally I do think most women have or will at some stage but just won't admit it. The inner window twitcher in us all or something...

Dragan

Aurora Borealis wrote: »

I'm trying to establish whether it is a largely female character trait is all.

If that is the case i suggest you stop asking a very small subsection of a very small subsection that will be in no way representative of the female population as a whole.

No?

Madame Razz

I would never snoop, i wouldn't like it done to me. I had a guy rifle thru my kitchen cupboards before and it pissed me off big time. On the whole, i hate nosey people. I also dont like when men poke at my wardrobe; yes I'm aware that I have too many clothes!

I am always fascinated by the books/cds/dvds that people have on their shelves tho, and also whats in their bathroom, but that's the cosmetics junkie in me tbh!

Aurora Borealis

Dragan wrote: »

If that is the case i suggest you stop asking a very small subsection of a very small subsection that will be in no way representative of the female population as a whole.

No?

I am to understand therefore that a question regarding the general characteristics of any given group should not be asked unless it can be asked of the entire group. In that case how would surveys ever be conducted. Clearly this is not scientific research and my findings if you were to call them that at a stretch will not be published in some journal. If one was to abide by your staunch methodology this very forum and indeed other such fora would be completely defunct unless there was a 100% response to every question posed which would be virtually inpossible.

I had a question regarding what I suspected to be a female characteristic. I addressed this to those reading what I deemed to be the appropriate forum on boards.ie; the ladies lounge. If my question does not comply with your own chosen methods for a vox pop then conduct your own or simply ignore it.

myself and a mate of mine do it with a friend of ours

the 3 of us are real close but this one lie's about goings on with certain men in her life and we occasionally read her texts to get the truth
we are all honest enough to each other but she probably like's to feel superior to us about certain stuff we would omit to each other
whatever, we know the real truth ...the filthy attention whore that she is:D

My ex was really nosey, he would disappear and bring back things from my housemates room when I wasn't looking.
That is preety much the ultimate bad in my little book of wrongdoing.

Somebody used to take advantage of him, and this would mean that things we wanted to do would get canceled.
He used to lie badly to me about the reason why, so I used to check his phone for messages from this person.
But I used to do it in front of him.

I have never riffled through anyones stuff.

Drift

I would've always considered the bookshelf and cd collection to be of public interest. If someone is left alone in my sitting room I would have no problem with the selecting a book or photo album from the bookcase for perusal. Thats why I put them there! If they were private stuff I would keep them elsewhere.

I'll have to be careful in other people's houses from now on because I just always assumed everyone else felt the same about books and cds etc.

As for poking around drawers/wardrobes/cabinets it's something that has never really crossed my mind in other people's houses. I'm more likely to be thinking "For the love of God Drift make sure you keep yourself and your cup of tea away from that expensive looking rug!"

JaneyMc

Why would you do that??? Personal belongings, are just that! Personal! I wouldn't violate someones trust/privacy like that.

I was on the recieving end of it once, and it was not nice. They did not like what they found, and tried to confront me about it. They were out of my house less than 30 seconds later.

cuckoo

fits wrote: »

When I'm in someones house, male or female friends I will always look at book/cd/dvd collections and whatever photos are on display, but that would be the extent of it.

I'd be afraid what I'd find if it went any further than that tbh. Ignorance can be bliss.

+1.

I once found something I never wanted to have seen in my parents bedside locker - traumatised me to this day :eek:. The lesson was learned at a young age, don't go looking because chances are you won't like what you see.

Stuff out on shelves is fair game though, like having a look at what books people have.

bealbocht

Drift wrote: »

I would've always considered the bookshelf and cd collection to be of public interest. If someone is left alone in my sitting room I would have no problem with the selecting a book or photo album from the bookcase for perusal. Thats why I put them there! If they were private stuff I would keep them elsewhere.

I'll have to be careful in other people's houses from now on because I just always assumed everyone else felt the same about books and cds etc.

As for poking around drawers/wardrobes/cabinets it's something that has never really crossed my mind in other people's houses. I'm more likely to be thinking "For the love of God Drift make sure you keep yourself and your cup of tea away from that expensive looking rug!"

yup.. thats me too .. if its in an openly public place.. I assume its public..
Not the way everyone looks at it .. went out with a girl once , who totally balled me out of it , for picking up a book on the coffee table.. didnt stop her going though my phone, or going into my bedroom.
Personally I keep my private and confidential stuff in a private and confidential place.. , and if someone stuck their nose in there, then they are crossing the line..


"My ex was really nosey, he would disappear and bring back things from my housemates room when I wasn't looking."

this is way out of order..

Scarinae

I don't go through people's things, but I'm not a very nosey person. I mean, I know a lot of my boyfriend's passwords (email, facebook etc) cos he sometimes has to go down the country to work and doesn't have internet access so he asks me to check his emails or whatever for him and let him know if there's anything important... I'd never do it unless he asked me to though. And I'd never rummage through his things or check his phone messages

suzi-suz

i had a snoop in my neighbours house not so long ago,( she was on hols and i was collecting the post ) anyway i found a letter and to my horror it was adoption papers for her only daughter.

so i have decided and i think its a good idea to stop snooping in other peoples houses as you never know what you may find.;)

Piste

If something's out in the open- on a table/bookcase/shelf then it's fair game.


If it's in a drawer, wardrobe or cupboard, that's a no-go.

LolaLuv

Aurora Borealis wrote: »

Hope the air is rarified up there on moral mountain.

QFT! I swear to god people always respond the way they *wish* they would react when issues like this come up on boards, not the way they actually do.

Anyway, yes I've snooped. I haven't since I was a teenager and I doubt I'd do it again, but it is there in my past.

EamonnKeane

Aurora Borealis wrote: »

A very large majority of my female friends admit to having a snoop in their significant others house when they're not looking,.. pictures, old letters etc. This is not out of suspicion but sheer nosiness or boredom.

Do you succumb to such tactics? Do you reckon most do? and what are your opinions on those who do?

Blatant lie. You wouldn't do this to a friend or family member, would you?

Deleted User wrote: »

myself and a mate of mine do it with a friend of ours

the 3 of us are real close but this one lie's about goings on with certain men in her life and we occasionally read her texts to get the truth
we are all honest enough to each other but she probably like's to feel superior to us about certain stuff we would omit to each other
whatever, we know the real truth ...the filthy attention whore that she is:D

Who needs enemies?

F.A.

Okay, okay, I admit. I used to do it. And rather thoroughly In particular around November/December of the years leading up to my what? 12th? 13th? year on this planet. The victims? MY PARENTS!!. (Un?)Fortunately, I never found much.

My excuse: my older brother put me up to it. We even did it together. I think our parents knew. Years later we learned that they left sensible stuff at work/neighbours/relatives because they had caught my brother once before I was old enough to be influenced in such bad ways.

















PS Do you think it would have helped if my parents had told me that a man with a white beard and red clothes actually kept the stuff I was looking for until the time was right for me to get them? :P

whiteandlight

Totally a no no!! I've spent most of my college life living with some of my best friends and while we had a pretty open door policy we would always ask if running into someones room etc.
Had a housemate last year who wouldn't have been as close to us and it became a major issue as she was changing/dressing in our bedrooms when we were out and got caught out for reading someones phone. Its not just boredom or nosiness, its plain rude and a complete invasion of privacy!

sweet-rasmus

I only go snooping for his dirthy washing; it could be anywhere! Found it in the drawers with his clean clothes last time... whatever next

Kotick

Snooping eh? Can't say I've really snooped before. I'll notice things lying around but I don't inspect them (less it's a framed picture). If there is a photo album, I ask if I can look.

My ex boyfriend checked my email while I was out of town. Dunno how long he had been doing that for out of the 5 years we had been dating (never give out your password to ANYONE). He would also read through my instant messages I left up on my computer. :eek:

allabouteve

Kotick wrote: »

Snooping eh? Can't say I've really snooped before. I'll notice things lying around but I don't inspect them (less it's a framed picture). If there is a photo album, I ask if I can look.

My ex boyfriend checked my email while I was out of town. Dunno how long he had been doing that for out of the 5 years we had been dating (never give out your password to ANYONE). He would also read through my instant messages I left up on my computer. :eek:

I'm guessing that's the reason he's your ex-boyfriend .

Snooping is a ghastly invasion of privacy, and I would always treat others the way I would like to be treated myself.

sadista

I have in my boyfriends room but only when we were at a comfortable stage in relationship and I was sure he wouldnt consider it a betrayal of trust as he is the type that would be happy to tell you anything but you have to ask first.
I shouldnt have though as I dug up some incriminating evidence from the past, that caused some problems, but we got over it and were happy as larry now!:D

LightningBolt

Never went through a girls stuff at her home, phones if they're around you I take it is okay, I'd have no prob with someone checking mine on front of me, behind my back though I'd probably be pretty pissed. Really need a second phone.....:D

Hrududu

Have never done it. Would never do it. Would hate to think its been done to me.

I find the posts saying "How is the air up their on moral mountain" and the like very telling. Just because you do something don't assume everyone else does. Personally I don't think very highly of people who snoop.

Aurora Borealis

EamonnKeane wrote: »

Blatant lie. You wouldn't do this to a friend or family member, would you?

My SISTER as I said already used to do this to us all the time.

My gay FRIEND was snooping in my stuff.

Neither of the above would have been driven by anything other than simple curiosity. Not making it anymore okay but certainly less sinister and in my humble opinion somewhat more humane.

LG26

Hi Aurora Borealis

All girls have done it at some stage. I did it to an ex and to be honest didn't like what I found so never did it again. But yeah we all have it in us and anyone that says they don't is lying.......

RuailleBuaille

Cathooo wrote: »

Have to say I wouldn't do it to anyone. After rooting through my parents wardrobe and finding certain christmas presents in there years ago I vowed to never snoop like that again, I think it would be something that could easily get out of control, first it's a drawer, then it's a wardrobe, then its the boxes above the wardrobe, then phone :eek:

So no, I'd never do it.

Snap, that happened to me too! Except it wasn't Christmas presents, it was rude letters my parents had written to each other donkeys ago :eek: I'll never make that mistake again!
I think a good rule of thumb is if it'd bother you to have it done to you, then don't do it to others. Simple but devastating!
Also, I don't buy the whole doing it out of boredom thing, when I'm bored I watch tv or go online or stick the Wii on, have yet to have the urge to snoop when bored. But that could also be because of the way I first came across the word cunt!

Cathmandooo

LightningBolt wrote: »

Never went through a girls stuff at her home, phones if they're around you I take it is okay, I'd have no prob with someone checking mine on front of me, behind my back though I'd probably be pretty pissed. Really need a second phone.....:D

What reason do you have to go through someone's phone? I wouldn't class that as acceptable at all. Even in front of me is unacceptable, the phone would be immediately taken off them. I wouldn't trust a person who felt the need to snoop like that, perhaps they've something to hide themselves.

RuailleBuaille wrote: »

Snap, that happened to me too! Except it wasn't Christmas presents, it was rude letters my parents had written to each other donkeys ago :eek: I'll never make that mistake again!
I think a good rule of thumb is if it'd bother you to have it done to you, then don't do it to others. Simple but devastating!
Also, I don't buy the whole doing it out of boredom thing, when I'm bored I watch tv or go online or stick the Wii on, have yet to have the urge to snoop when bored. But that could also be because of the way I first came across the word cunt!

LOL ewww nasty, glad I didn't find anything like that

GirlInterrupted

allabouteve wrote: »

Snooping is a ghastly invasion of privacy, and I would always treat others the way I would like to be treated myself.

+ 1

Rozabeez

If there are pictures on the wall, I'd look. But I'd never look THROUGH things or read anyone's post/personal letters, I think that's disgraceful behaviour. Even reading their texts/emails would make me feel very uncomfortable.

hippiechickie

This post has been deleted.

Piste

LightningBolt wrote: »

Never went through a girls stuff at her home, phones if they're around you I take it is okay, I'd have no prob with someone checking mine on front of me, behind my back though I'd probably be pretty pissed. Really need a second phone.....:D

Whoah, looking through phones without asking is not ok, even in front of the person!


I remember in primary school it was a regular thing to just ask for someone's phone to look through, we openly read eachother's messages for some reason and no one really cared. Now I'd think it was really weird if someone went through my messages, even though they're still pretty much as boring.

Scarinae

Piste wrote: »

I remember in primary school it was a regular thing to just ask for someone's phone to look through, we openly read eachother's messages for some reason and no one really cared. Now I'd think it was really weird if someone went through my messages, even though they're still pretty much as boring.

I remember this too, though for me it was first/second year in school (I had a mobile in primary school, but it was an analogue! Hence no texts) I think the reason we didn't mind people going through our phones was because we never had anything worth hiding haha, if you think back to your texts to friends when you were 13 they were pretty dull. Not that I'm saying I'm hiding anything now, I'm just probably more private than I was at that age