Secrets & Lies..

Beetlebum

Hi Lads & Lassies,

I was at a Wedding recently of an old family friend. I'll call him Conor. I've known Conor since we were kids
cause we grew up on the same street. He was 30 this year and has been with his now wife for 8 years.
During that time I know for a fact that he slept with her best friend, who was also head bridesmaid, he goes
to strip clubs all the time and is shamelessly flirty with every girl he meets. He likes strip clubs so much
in fact that he goes over to London frequently cause he says the clubs here are awful and are savage in London.

His wife is of course oblivious to all of this. She doesn't drink and isn't that into going out so has never seen him in action.
He is very kind, funny, caring etc yet he cheats on his wife. If you were to ask her she would say she is the luckiest girl
alive and that she's bagged herself a gentleman.

It just bothered me so much at the wedding when the brides best friend made a speech over dinner and her eyes welled up
with tears as she spoke of Conor and Laura's great love etc. Conor sat there beaming holding his wife's hand and in my head I was
screaming 'HE SLEPT WITH HER!!!'.

It just got me thinking how many secrets we know about other people and the power that gives you. I mean, I had the potential
to ruin that wedding and marriage. I also know secrets of tons of my friends that would destroy their relationships. I wouldn't
dream of breaching the trust of any of my friends, under no circumstances. It just got me thinking.

So, how many dirty little secrets do you know about your friends etc that could potentialy cause havoc for them?!

NextSteps

Jaysus, i hope that's not their real names and they don't know you on Boards! Poor woman.

Black Swan

Do you know if your friend (aka "Conor") is a boards.ie member, or his wife (aka "Laura"), or one or more of their friends? With all the details that you have provided, as well as those occurring in your 377 posts, these secrets would not be so secret?

Burial

Beetlebum wrote: »

Hi Lads & Lassies,

I was at a Wedding recently of an old family friend. I'll call him Conor. I've known Conor since we were kids
cause we grew up on the same street. He was 30 this year and has been with his now wife for 8 years.
During that time I know for a fact that he slept with her best friend, who was also head bridesmaid, he goes
to strip clubs all the time and is shamelessly flirty with every girl he meets. He likes strip clubs so much
in fact that he goes over to London frequently cause he says the clubs here are awful and are savage in London.

His wife is of course oblivious to all of this. She doesn't drink and isn't that into going out so has never seen him in action.
He is very kind, funny, caring etc yet he cheats on his wife. If you were to ask her she would say she is the luckiest girl
alive and that she's bagged herself a gentleman.

It just bothered me so much at the wedding when the brides best friend made a speech over dinner and her eyes welled up
with tears as she spoke of Conor and Laura's great love etc. Conor sat there beaming holding his wife's hand and in my head I was
screaming 'HE SLEPT WITH HER!!!'.

It just got me thinking how many secrets we know about other people and the power that gives you. I mean, I had the potential
to ruin that wedding and marriage. I also know secrets of tons of my friends that would destroy their relationships. I wouldn't
dream of breaching the trust of any of my friends, under no circumstances. It just got me thinking.

So, how many dirty little secrets do you know about your friends etc that could potentialy cause havoc for them?!

Not really PI, after hours probably...

Anyway, I don't look at life to how many secrets I have that could destroy someone's life. I look at it, as the amount of secrets I have that people trusted me with. I don't/won't use their "secrets" as ammo for blackmail or my own gain.

As with the example you described, I most definatly would have told Laura. Conor doesn't care for her, if he cheats on her and goes to strip clubs. There is going to be a broken marraige/home in the future for those two...

But to answer your question, I have plenty of ammo to destroy people's lives and they have plenty to destroy mine.

JaneyMc

I know of a child, that the Father doesn't know exists. He's an a.sshole so I won't be telling him. The Mother doesn't even know that I know.

I also know my brothers friends parents are into swinging. Hmmmmm.

Edit: I also know of atleast 3 guys that I know from when I was a kid that cheat on their girlfriends/fiance's regularly and in 2 of the cases, children are involved.

Red Hand

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

Do you know if your friend (aka "Conor") is a boards.ie member, or his wife (aka "Laura"), or one or more of their friends? With all the details that you have provided, as well as those occurring in your 377 posts, these secrets would not be so secret?

They're the Murphy's from Mitchelstown, down past the post office there on main street. Up past Patsy Fitzgibbon's place.

Black Swan

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

They're the Murphy's from Mitchelstown, down past the post office there on main street. Up past Patsy Fitzgibbon's place.

SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! B!ue chases Jer about the room. At least the Irish Times is good for something...

Beetlebum

Burial wrote: »

Not really PI, after hours probably...

Anyway, I don't look at life to how many secrets I have that could destroy someone's life. I look at it, as the amount of secrets I have that people trusted me with. I don't/won't use their "secrets" as ammo for blackmail or my own gain.

As with the example you described, I most definatly would have told Laura. Conor doesn't care for her, if he cheats on her and goes to strip clubs. There is going to be a broken marraige/home in the future for those two...

But to answer your question, I have plenty of ammo to destroy people's lives and they have plenty to destroy mine.

I didn't put this in PI, I put it in the Ladies Lounge!!

I don't look at life as how many secrets I have of others either. My friends trust me so it's an honour that they confide in me. Like I said, I wouldn't ever breach there trust. I just think it's interesting and quite sad when you think about it.

I thought about telling Laura but I don't really know her that well. As I said, she doesn't go out much and I didn't feel it was my place. Conor knows how disgraceful I find his behaviour but he's not going to change his ways.

The names are all fake by the way and so are a few details such as age etc also, they are not boards users!!

Red Hand

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

SWAT! SWAT! SWAT! At least the Irish Times is good for something...

What is this swatting? Is it a secret?:)

Black Swan

Beetlebum wrote: »

The names are all fake by the way and so are a few details such as age etc also, they are not boards users!!

There are thousands of boards.ie members, several who know me. Every now and then I get surprised by someone that has a different boards persona and differs from how I know them in real life. Unless you are a social recluse, odds are that someone could make the connection, especially with your 378 posts on boards, which I assume are not all fabrications?

Beetlebum

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

There are thousands of boards.ie members, several who know me. Every now and then I get surprised by someone that has a different boards persona and differs from how I know them in real life. Unless you are a social recluse, odds are that someone could make the connection, especially with your 378 posts on boards, which I assume are not all fabrications?

Why don't you let me worry about my identity being revealed and discuss the matter at hand if it interests you to do so. My post count has got nothing to do with anything!

Star Lord

Beetlebum wrote: »

I thought about telling Laura but I don't really know her that well. As I said, she doesn't go out much and I didn't feel it was my place. Conor knows how disgraceful I find his behaviour but he's not going to change his ways.

So you left the poor girl to tie herself to this bastard, sat there at the (sham) wedding, eating food they'd paid for etc...

If you couldn't tell her, then you could have done so anonymously at least. The poor girl would have had her heart broken, but at least she'd not married the fecker. And she'd know her friend doesn't care a damn either.

(I mean the girl that was the chief bridesmaid doesn't care a damn, not the OP!)

Will

Damo *nudge* Beetlebum is a lady...

very difficult situation to be in tbh, don't envy ya

Star Lord

Dunno what you mean Will... <_<

I know I come across a little harsh in my last post, but honestly Beetlebum you're gonna feel a hell of a lot worse when this marriage inevitably falls apart.

Burial

Beetlebum wrote: »

I didn't put this in PI, I put it in the Ladies Lounge!!

I don't look at life as how many secrets I have of others either. My friends trust me so it's an honour that they confide in me. Like I said, I wouldn't ever breach there trust. I just think it's interesting and quite sad when you think about it.

I thought about telling Laura but I don't really know her that well. As I said, she doesn't go out much and I didn't feel it was my place. Conor knows how disgraceful I find his behaviour but he's not going to change his ways.

The names are all fake by the way and so are a few details such as age etc also, they are not boards users!!

I was surfing Ladies Lounge and PI, so I just presumed it was PI for some reason... Sorry! There is some things that you keep secret til you die and others you don't keep secret. This is one of them. Remind Conor that if he truely loved his wife, he should stop his behaviour and discuss it with his wife. He won't change his behaviour until he knows what he's doing is wrong.

Tbh, even if someone guesses it's you, just deny everything. Besides I never just think of, "OMG do I know that user??" And I doubt anyone would read all 300 of your posts... Even if they do, you can just deny everything and they can't prove otherwise...

pow wow

I'd say she'd have married him even if you had told her :rolleyes:

No-one knows enough about me to do anything with it; I keep things that way for a reason :cool:

Malari

She might even have known or guessed what he was like but preferred to look the other way. I know a couple of women who have. She's an adult and if it makes her happy to marry him - no-one else's business what she puts up with in that marriage. If her bridesmaid is acting like that, then the bride's judgement of character has to be questionable or else she prefers to block these things from her mind.

Steve_o

I have a secret but i'll never tell...

NEVER...

SheRa

I have many secrets about other people and I would never reveal them as I was told in confidence.

Jesus Id definitely never put them on on boards. Tis a small world Beetlbum you never know who knows you on this website.

I know one person on boards from real life and they have no idea that I know their identity.

Beetlebum

The thing about it is, I don't know her. I have known Conor since I was a nipper which is why he confided in me but we don't run in the same circles or hang out much. If I had've told his wife she wouldn't believe me. That much I know for sure.

Karen_*

I wouldn't say the groom in question was the only man in Ireland shagging the bridesmaid ever in the history of the world. There's loads of stories about loads of things on this site and others. That assumably aren't abotu ficticious events!!!

Odysseus

I'm a psychotherapist so I listen to peoples secrets and lies for a good porportion of the day. You could say my job is about getting people to articulate their secrets.

LolaLuv

I'd say I know a fair bit of secrets, but I'm pretty good at keeping them. I suppose people must know secrets about me as well, but I'm a pretty open person and am not ashamed of much of my past behavior so I'd be very surprised if any secrets of mine could cause a huge fallout in my life. I've never done anything like sleep with a friend's bf or anything at all like that so.

But you're right, OP, it's crazy to think about how much we let others in and what could happen if they violated our trust. I think for some people it would be a relief to have it all out, though.

mollybird

Beetlebum wrote: »

Hi Lads & Lassies,

I was at a Wedding recently of an old family friend. I'll call him Conor. I've known Conor since we were kids
cause we grew up on the same street. He was 30 this year and has been with his now wife for 8 years.
During that time I know for a fact that he slept with her best friend, who was also head bridesmaid, he goes
to strip clubs all the time and is shamelessly flirty with every girl he meets. He likes strip clubs so much
in fact that he goes over to London frequently cause he says the clubs here are awful and are savage in London.

His wife is of course oblivious to all of this. She doesn't drink and isn't that into going out so has never seen him in action.
He is very kind, funny, caring etc yet he cheats on his wife. If you were to ask her she would say she is the luckiest girl
alive and that she's bagged herself a gentleman.

It just bothered me so much at the wedding when the brides best friend made a speech over dinner and her eyes welled up
with tears as she spoke of Conor and Laura's great love etc. Conor sat there beaming holding his wife's hand and in my head I was
screaming 'HE SLEPT WITH HER!!!'.

It just got me thinking how many secrets we know about other people and the power that gives you. I mean, I had the potential
to ruin that wedding and marriage. I also know secrets of tons of my friends that would destroy their relationships. I wouldn't
dream of breaching the trust of any of my friends, under no circumstances. It just got me thinking.

So, how many dirty little secrets do you know about your friends etc that could potentialy cause havoc for them?!

oh i have the biggest. my ex shall we say married an american girl for a grreen card yet he says that it's love and he loves her yada yada yada..... when he got with her he told his currrent girlfriend on new years eve to go home as she was half saying that she didn't feel well so he could score her. he swore to one of his best mates that he hadn't cheated on this american girl when he had been with me 3 days before she arrived over to live with him for a month and then been with me bout 3 days after she left of that month. and swore to this mate he never cheated on her. OMG!!

unfortunetly for me i'm seeing one of his good mates the past 2 years and i'm extreamly happy. he came home for a month and saw my OH twice. i could of seen him once and easily of spilled the beans and scured up his life. i've all ready slapped him in the face for being a **** to me years ago and he knows i could very easily do it again.

Zzippy

JaneyMc wrote: »

I also know my brothers friends parents are into swinging. Hmmmmm.

Erm, 'scuse my innocence, but how the hell did you find out something like that? :eek:

JaneyMc

Zzippy wrote: »

Erm, 'scuse my innocence, but how the hell did you find out something like that? :eek:

They propositioned a friend of mine and his girlfriend a few months back.

Zzippy

JaneyMc wrote: »

They propositioned a friend of mine and his girlfriend a few months back.

:eek: Jaysus. That is all...

MagicMarker

mollybird wrote: »

oh i have the biggest. my ex shall we say married an american girl for a grreen card yet he says that it's love and he loves her yada yada yada..... when he got with her he told his currrent girlfriend on new years eve to go home as she was half saying that she didn't feel well so he could score her. he swore to one of his best mates that he hadn't cheated on this american girl when he had been with me 3 days before she arrived over to live with him for a month and then been with me bout 3 days after she left of that month. and swore to this mate he never cheated on her. OMG!!

unfortunetly for me i'm seeing one of his good mates the past 2 years and i'm extreamly happy. he came home for a month and saw my OH twice. i could of seen him once and easily of spilled the beans and scured up his life. i've all ready slapped him in the face for being a **** to me years ago and he knows i could very easily do it again.

I've read this a few times and it still makes absolutely zero sense...

DublinWriter

Beetlebum wrote: »

The thing about it is, I don't know her. I have known Conor since I was a nipper which is why he confided in me but we don't run in the same circles or hang out much. If I had've told his wife she wouldn't believe me. That much I know for sure.

As neither seem to be a friend to you, why are you bothered in the first place?

I'd leave well enough alone if I were you.

Chucky the tree

MagicMarker wrote: »

I've read this a few times and it still makes absolutely zero sense...

Basically, I think she jealous she's with his best mate and not him and doesnt like the best mater(her current boyf) as much as she likes her ex(current boyf best mate). An example wth names is easier. Molly, john and mark. John andm ark are bestfriends

Molly used to date john and but he left her to marry a yank. Molly got very bitter and upset so decided to date Johns best mate Mark to get him back. Molly doesnt really like Mark as much as she stil likes john and it's quite obvious as Molly comes across as quite better when she still mentions John. Also, I'm pretty sure she gotten it on with John while she been dating Mark, but hush hush on that one.


Either that, or she was born with a penis. I am not 100% sure which it is.

Crumble Froo

interesting thread. most people who have damaging information on me, i would trust to teh end of the world, and the ones whose secrets i know, ... well, are usually the same people, but 99% of the time, i would never tell.

there was one awful time i had to come out with a friends' secret, and while i still feel so horrifically guilty about it... if i could go back, i think i'd do it all again.