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I tried everything but he didn't cum

  • 29-08-2008 5:13pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7


    k i dont know if this is in the right place or not so if it isnt mods feel free to move it

    iv been meeting this lad on and off for a few months now and a last week i rode him but he didn cum.. we kinda decided to jus forget about it but i last night i rode him again and same thing happened again he didn cum.. i mean we tried nearly every position there is 1st with a condom then without because twas annoying him, i gave him a bj, he had a ****, i gave him a hj and still he didn cum.. im jus wondering does this mean he doesnt reali like me or does it mean im not very good in bed but iv never had this problem with another lad so im reali confused like.. thanks in advance for your help guys


«1

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 22 BK2


    You shouldn't be having sex without a condom because it was annoying him, you should be glad he didn't cum.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    watch the textspeak please.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭unhappycamper


    Very sensitive question you ask:

    The chances are he is very nervous and wont admit, or if you were having unprotected sex he didn't want to be risking a baby. On the other hand does he take drugs or drink during sex? That wont help. If it happens allot ask him does he find you beautiful and do you turn him on?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,801 ✭✭✭✭Gary ITR


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    k i dont know if this is in the right place or not so if it isnt mods feel free to move it

    iv been meeting this lad on and off for a few months now and a last week i rode him but he didn cum.. we kinda decided to jus forget about it but i last night i rode him again and same thing happened again he didn cum.. i mean we tried nearly every position there is 1st with a condom then without because twas annoying him, i gave him a bj, he had a ****, i gave him a hj and still he didn cum.. im jus wondering does this mean he doesnt reali like me or does it mean im not very good in bed but iv never had this problem with another lad so im reali confused like.. thanks in advance for your help guys

    If you're as good at sex as you are at typing then you must be sh1t in bed


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,480 ✭✭✭projectmayhem


    ask him does he find you beautiful
    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    k i rode him

    I think you're on two completely different sides of the fence. Either way, I can't help but feeling the OP is a bit of a troll. Maybe the issue will come up on newstalk tomorrow eh? ;)

    My two cents would be firstly to never NOT use contraception. It doesn't take much for things to happen. I actually know two separate individuals who've had babies from their first time having "the sex" without protection. My second cent would be not to worry too much about it. If you're having a good time chances are he'll get into the flow of things, so to speak. He could be worried, a bit stressed etc. about things not relating to you. If other things are playing on his mind he may not be up to the job, and if you're uptight about him then he'll just be worse.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7 WoOoOoOoOo


    Onkle wrote: »
    If you're as good at sex as you are at typing then you must be sh1t in bed


    how the hell are sex and typing linked??
    nah i dont think twas the condom because he didnt cum when he had it on or when he took it off, it jus kinda ruined the mood and we were feckin exhausted afterwards!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 302 ✭✭unhappycamper


    I think you're on two completely different sides of the fence. Either way, I can't help but feeling the OP is a bit of a troll. Maybe the issue will come up on newstalk tomorrow eh? ;)

    My two cents would be firstly to never NOT use contraception. It doesn't take much for things to happen. I actually know two separate individuals who've had babies from their first time having "the sex" without protection. My second cent would be not to worry too much about it. If you're having a good time chances are he'll get into the flow of things, so to speak. He could be worried, a bit stressed etc. about things not relating to you. If other things are playing on his mind he may not be up to the job, and if you're uptight about him then he'll just be worse.

    Possibly on two different planets


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    Onkle banned a week,
    if you have an issue with a post report it.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    You know its not like me to not think about what has happened and give considered advice.
    But there is always an exception.

    This is it.
    So my advice is: Don't have sex again until you

    a) learn about where babies come from and have adequate protection
    and
    b) learn the difference between riding (uugh, horrible term), sex and lovemaking

    Edit|: ok i will relent a little. The way you have described what was happening it reads like a shopping list.
    So that may be the nub of it, disengagement on both parts. Literally going through the motions with no connection or interest


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,528 ✭✭✭✭dsmythy


    Is there a problem with him getting hard as well? If so then the usual answers should suffice with regards to nervousness, too much drink or other psychological problems.

    If he can get hard no problem then it beats "wham bang thank you ma'am". He could probably go at it for a while.

    Him not coming has nothing to do with whether he "likes" you or not. The fact that he went to bed with you and was meeting you for months previous answers that one!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    I assure you the problem has nothing to do with you.

    He has some psychologicial issue. I would imagine when he relaxes it'll sort itself out.

    My advice to you is to not make a big out of it, as that will just make things worse.

    If you stay together and this problem persists, he could consider seeing some kind of sex therapist.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 191 ✭✭Tazdedub


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    how the hell are sex and typing linked??
    nah i dont think twas the condom because he didnt cum when he had it on or when he took it off, it jus kinda ruined the mood and we were feckin exhausted afterwards!

    Some guys have a problem cumming with a condom on but that doesn't mean you should have sex without one. I had this problem where I didnt cum when I had a condom on but it meant that I could go longer and certainly got no complaints. the way I got around it with partners was that they would make me cum in other ways at another time.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 100 ✭✭Dee369369


    Did ye not talk bout it or are you assuming it's your problem? Like others said he could have been tired or had to much to drink or smoke etc so don't go blaming yourself.

    Also wear the condom who cares if it's annoying him!!


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    I feel like i'm watching the commitments... It's 'ride' not 'roide'!

    OP, it doesn't really seem like you should be having sex in the first place. Maybe take up Marksie's advice and give abstinence a go until you learn about the birds and the bees?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,565 ✭✭✭jaffa20


    Maybe he is gay or is just not into it:confused: Please don't use text chat. It hurts my eyes.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,549 ✭✭✭✭cowzerp


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    iv been meeting this lad on and off for a few months now and a last week i rode him but he didn cum.. we kinda decided to jus forget about it but i last night i rode him again and same thing happened again he didn cum.. i mean we tried nearly every position there is 1st with a condom then without because twas annoying him, i gave him a bj, he had a ****, i gave him a hj and still he didn cum..

    Im guessing he's not used to been with such classy girls! :cool:

    Rush Boxing club and Rush Martial Arts head coach.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,240 ✭✭✭hussey


    He may have knocked one off before he knocked you off


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,174 ✭✭✭✭kmart6


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote:
    i mean we tried nearly every position there is 1st with a condom then without because twas annoying him, i gave him a bj, he had a ****, i gave him a hj and still he didn cum.. im jus wondering does this mean he doesnt reali like me or does it mean im not very good in bed but iv never had this problem with another lad so im reali confused like

    The fact your asking does he not like you cause he didn't cum suggests to me that you shouldn't be doing any of what you described!


  • Posts: 14,344 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    kmart6 wrote: »
    The fact your asking does he not like you cause he didn't cum suggests to me that you shouldn't be doing any of what you described!

    I think a more accurately would be "Didn't do".



    I've a feeling we're looking at a very young poster who is trying to get some attention, maybe?



    In the event that that's not the case, then i'm sure anything that can be of use has been mentioned in the first page...?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    Marksie wrote: »
    Edit|: ok i will relent a little. The way you have described what was happening it reads like a shopping list.
    So that may be the nub of it, disengagement on both parts. Literally going through the motions with no connection or interest

    + 1 Marksie, had been about to reply that the whole event looked like a snag list, but shopping list is pretty similar:)

    OP, it doesn't sound that your "ride" consisted of any kind of tenderness or sensuality or any of the great things that should be an integral part of lovemaking, it sounds cold, clinical and perfunctory, your post alone smacks of it. Go back to basics OP and get them right before trying to turn tricks for use of a better word. And please ffs use protection.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,892 ✭✭✭ChocolateSauce


    No one seems to have mentioned the fact that some men don't come easily. Just as there are a large number of women who are very difficult to bring to orgasm, there are also a small number of men who have the same problem. ASK HIM.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Miss Fluff wrote: »
    + 1 Marksie, had been about to reply that the whole event looked like a snag list, but shopping list is pretty similar:)

    OP, it doesn't sound that your "ride" consisted of any kind of tenderness or sensuality or any of the great things that should be an integral part of lovemaking, it sounds cold, clinical and perfunctory, your post alone smacks of it. Go back to basics OP and get them right before trying to turn tricks for use of a better word. And please ffs use protection.
    Yep, why the crass attitude to sex OP? You don't have to be in love with the guy, but Jesus... the language you're using really does make it sound extraordinarily joyless. Your post reads like that of a porn actor/actress or prostitute describing a disastrous experience.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    I didn't come with first few girls i was with, but after i did with one it was fine. has he ever come with any of his previous partners?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,985 ✭✭✭animaX


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    1st with a condom then without because twas annoying him

    EDIT: My initial (very catholic!) view seems harsh in retospect. Comment removed.

    But for gods sake dont say "twas"!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    animaX wrote: »
    shame on you

    That's harsh.

    She may have a way of describing things which makes it sound like something from a Roddy Doyle book, but there is no shame in having sex with or without a condom.

    Why are you assuming she's not on the pill and both or either of them have an STI?


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    That's harsh.

    She may have a way of describing things which makes it sound like something from a Roddy Doyle book, but there is no shame in having sex with or without a condom.

    Why are you assuming she's not on the pill and both or either of them have an STI?
    It's not assuming they have STI's, more so assuming that they haven't been tested for STI's.

    No offense to the OP, but i also would make that assumption, likewise with the pill.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    It's not assuming they have STI's, more so assuming that they haven't been tested for STI's.

    No offense to the OP, but i also would make that assumption, likewise with the pill.

    Nearly everyone in the whole world eventually has unprotected sex with their partner without having gotten an STI test beforehand.

    Sure out of the 50 or whatever girls I've slept with only 1 or 2 wanted to use a condom.

    This is the way the vast majority of the world works so no one should be told "shame on you".

    Disgraceful, really.

    EDIT: Please don't try to suggest I'm saying people shouldn't use condoms. I'm not.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Nearly everyone in the whole world eventually has unprotected sex with their partner without having gotten an STI test beforehand.

    Nearly the whole world eh? Riiight....
    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Sure out of the 50 or whatever girls I've slept with only 1 or 2 wanted to use a condom.

    And i'm sure you happily obliged...
    AARRRGH wrote: »
    This is the way the vast majority of the world works so no one should be told "shame on you".

    Disgraceful, really.

    I'm sure there are many who would agree with you, however it's a naive way of looking at things. If someone has unprotected sex with someone before knowing their sexual history, then yeah, it's pretty friggin retarded tbh. Play with fire and you'll eventually get burnt.

    And for the record, i've only had one encounter where the girl didn't want to use a condom, i refused. I didn't actually have condoms on me at the time so we didn't have full penetrative sex.

    Anyhoo, we're straying off topic somewhat...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    If someone has unprotected sex with someone before knowing their sexual history, then yeah, it's pretty friggin retarded tbh. Play with fire and you'll eventually get burnt.

    Then most people are friggin retarded. :)

    I don't think people who use this forum are living in the real world when it comes to sex. Condoms are not regularly used by most people.

    Statistics released two years ago about Irish people's sexual habits proved this. I think it was something like 80% of people don't use condoms with new partners. (I can dig out the figures if you want.)

    I agree we're going off topic, but this girl came here looking for advice and she is just getting abuse from a bunch of angry nerds. Sad.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    how the hell are sex and typing linked??
    dexterity :)

    I wouldn't worry about this OP. Just both enjoy yourselves and dont worry if he doesn't cum. The more you fixate on it the less likely it is to happen.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    aaargh infracted. If you have a problem, use the report function, or even loko at the sticky at the top as regards trolling etc.

    Take off topic discussions to PM, repaort any suspect posts or threads.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 310 ✭✭csm


    it's false to think that every guy cums every time from sex. there are many reasons why he wouldn't cum on a single occasion (which i assume this was) and unless the two of you experience the same problem regularly together over an extended period then any potential explanation you'll find here will be pure speculation.

    chances are he was nervous, doesn't like condoms, tired, drunk, on drugs, just not into 'a roide' or a combination of all of these. don't worry about it, if you have a relationship with this bloke you'll find any problems tend to iron themselves out over time.

    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Then most people are friggin retarded. :)

    I don't think people who use this forum are living in the real world when it comes to sex. Condoms are not regularly used by most people.

    Statistics released two years ago about Irish people's sexual habits proved this. I think it was something like 80% of people don't use condoms with new partners. (I can dig out the figures if you want.)

    I agree we're going off topic, but this girl came here looking for advice and she is just getting abuse from a bunch of angry nerds. Sad.

    i would love to see the research papers or articles that lead to this comment if you can provide them. speaking only for people in my social group (broadly speaking late twenties university graduates) it is a ridiculous statistic. perhaps if it took into account everyone in the country, including those whos last 'new partner' was before condoms were freely available, then it might be true, but any research that includes people who last had sex with a new partner in the fifties is deeply flawed.

    i'm not saying that everyone always uses condoms with a new partner, but to say only 20% of people use condoms is patently ridiculous. i challenge you to prove me wrong (via pm or another thread if you don't want to go off topic here) but i fully expect you won't reply.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7 WoOoOoOoOo


    KKV: im not trying to get attention im asking for advice
    AARRRGH: thank you, finally someone who sees things my way
    MagicMarker: shur your hardly going to have an sti test after every time you ride someone, do you??
    Marksie: we didnt do things like a shopping list i jus thought it was the easiest and quickest way of describing what happened as im very slow and not good at typing
    anyway jus thought maybe i should have mentioned this lad kind of had a reputation for feeking girls so like hes obviously not inexperienced but then again neither am i(and im not looking for people to tell me i shouldnt be with him or doing what i am because neither of us wants anything serious at the moment, jus thought it might give ye a better idea of the situation)
    oh and shur at least we had good intentions starting out with the condom but if tis ruining it, it kinda jus defeats riding at all


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,945 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    have an sti test after every time you ride someone

    I think you need a bit of education about safe sex and good sexual health but I wouldn't worry too much about the original problem. Get him to tell you what he likes.
    But I am serious about you needing to learn more about safe sex before you do yourself some damage. I just had to tell you because frankly, your opinions on safe sex are a bit frightening.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Wow. In the case of casual sexual encounters, even one night when I was absolutely hammered drunk I got him to wear a condom. A condom splits - STI test asap.

    The OP is referring to a casual sexual relationship too. And the guy has a reputation for shagging around? My advice above all at the moment would be to get yourself tested. And have a look at this thread: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=152605

    Dublindude, I also disagree that so many people have such a blasé attitude towards unprotected sex.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 395 ✭✭RoosterIllusion


    If your going to troll on the PI forum at least learn to spell words correctly.

    Is dat oki?!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 240 ✭✭Mulan


    forgive me but I think the op is havin a laugh here?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    The boyfriend masturbates too often would be my guess.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 63 ✭✭Therickmachine


    WoOoOoOoOo wrote: »
    KKV: im not trying to get attention im asking for advice
    AARRRGH: thank you, finally someone who sees things my way
    MagicMarker: shur your hardly going to have an sti test after every time you ride someone, do you??
    Marksie: we didnt do things like a shopping list i jus thought it was the easiest and quickest way of describing what happened as im very slow and not good at typing
    anyway jus thought maybe i should have mentioned this lad kind of had a reputation for feeking girls so like hes obviously not inexperienced but then again neither am i(and im not looking for people to tell me i shouldnt be with him or doing what i am because neither of us wants anything serious at the moment, jus thought it might give ye a better idea of the situation)
    oh and shur at least we had good intentions starting out with the condom but if tis ruining it, it kinda jus defeats riding at all

    Not liking the word ride. He is a man not a horse. You didn t use this expression infront of him did ya?
    I have to say as a woman I would not go near a guy who used the expression ride even if it was a fling. Cringing thinkin bout it!

    Was there alcohol involved.??? in that case no problem. Im the same, I feel so turned on when I have had a drink but no matter what I just can t orgasm. I know men can be something the same, get turned on but can t finish the job as you are desensitised from the alcohol.

    If not maybe you were trying too hard. Not all men like the fast going at it hard porn star impression. Some men actually like going slow and speed doesn t help bringing the big O about! try being a bit more sensual about it!

    Though if its just a fling why do you care so much??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,943 ✭✭✭abouttobebanned


    Not liking the word ride. He is a man not a horse. You didn t use this expression infront of him did ya?
    I have to say as a woman I would not go near a guy who used the expression ride even if it was a fling. Cringing thinkin bout it!

    Was there alcohol involved.??? in that case no problem. Im the same, I feel so turned on when I have had a drink but no matter what I just can t orgasm. I know men can be something the same, get turned on but can t finish the job as you are desensitised from the alcohol.

    If not maybe you were trying too hard. Not all men like the fast going at it hard porn star impression. Some men actually like going slow and speed doesn t help bringing the big O about! try being a bit more sensual about it!

    Though if its just a fling why do you care so much??

    Seriously, who cares what words she uses? This is not the issue here, stop being such a snob.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    can't find original survey Based on a survey about the sexual habits and attitudes of young people in Ireland, almost half did not use barrier protection the first time they had sex. Forty per cent had had one-night stands with strangers they had just met, and of these a staggering 58 per cent did not always use protection.

    Not quite 80%, but it's high enough.

    People need to get off their high horse and float back to the real world: expecting people to use condoms everytime they have sex is an extremist point of view.

    ALL my female friends - even the ones who publically say they always use condoms - often do not use them, and absolutely don't make every guy get tested for STIs.

    I learnt a long time ago that people say one thing about their sex life in public, and then do something very different in private.

    I fully accept the type of people who use boards are the ones who will never have sex without a condom, but that is not "normal". I've met quite a few people who use boards. Generally they are nerdy and educated. This is not what the average Irish person is like. It absolutely is not what the average non-Irish person is like.

    We can continue this debate in the humanities forum if you like.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,217 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    RoosterIllusion if you're going to post on the PI forum the read the sticky about "notes on suspect troll threads". Let's everyone get this thread back on track.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 395 ✭✭RoosterIllusion


    Wibbs wrote: »
    RoosterIllusion if you're going to post on the PI forum the read the sticky about "notes on suspect troll threads". Let's everyone get this thread back on track.

    Ok I will read it. However, having moderated forums myself for over 5 years I know a troll when I see one and this person is a troll. Anyway I apologise for derailing the thread somewhat.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,071 ✭✭✭✭My name is URL


    This has to be a piss take, if not LMAO


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭SnowMonkey


    Id like to say ive been with a few women who ijust couldnt, finish of even on my own.

    It could be a number of thing's... To much drink, stress, self confidance, no emotional bond between each other.... can happen it happened to me once... some time syou might fancy each other but theres just nothing there, even in attraction.

    what i would say is tease him lot's throught text message's but just sutle hint's thats what one girl did to me....Other things like taking time to heat the ovens can be good, but then again maybe its his own head thst causeing the problem's

    I aint going to preach as ive done the same before for the same reson
    ecactly how you discribed i just couldnt pop, we tried everything...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    Not quite 80%, but it's high enough.

    People need to get off their high horse and float back to the real world: expecting people to use condoms everytime they have sex is an extremist point of view.

    ALL my female friends - even the ones who publically say they always use condoms - often do not use them, and absolutely don't make every guy get tested for STIs.

    I learnt a long time ago that people say one thing about their sex life in public, and then do something very different in private.

    I fully accept the type of people who use boards are the ones who will never have sex without a condom, but that is not "normal". I've met quite a few people who use boards. Generally they are nerdy and educated. This is not what the average Irish person is like. It absolutely is not what the average non-Irish person is like.

    We can continue this debate in the humanities forum if you like.
    But you're using the reasoning of "loads of people have unprotected sex" to make it somehow ok and to justify you and the OP doing it.

    Having unprotected sex in a casual encounter is an extremely immature, irresponsible and downright stupid thing to do. If there are so many people having unprotected sex (within casual encounters - I'm not talking about something more committed) and not bothering to get tested afterwards well frankly, as another poster said, shame on them for being so careless, inconsiderate, thoughtless and selfish. If they don't give a sh1t about themselves well at least they might consider the next person they ****. There are a lot of nasty infections - some extremely serious - and it's 2008 and the internet is as integral a part of our lives as paper and ink are. No excuse for being uneducated in such matters.

    That is not me getting on my high horse, that is me emphasising just how serious this public health issue is, and being frankly rather dismayed at such blasé attitudes.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 286 ✭✭SnowMonkey


    Dudess wrote: »
    But you're using the reasoning of "loads of people have unprotected sex" to make it somehow ok and to justify you and the OP doing it.

    Having unprotected sex in a casual encounter is an extremely immature, irresponsible and downright stupid thing to do. If there are so many people having unprotected sex (within casual encounters - I'm not talking about something more committed) and not bothering to get tested afterwards well frankly, as another poster said, shame on them for being so careless, inconsiderate, thoughtless and selfish. If they don't give a sh1t about themselves well at least they might consider the next person they ****. There are a lot of nasty infections - some extremely serious - and it's 2008 and the internet is as integral a part of our lives as paper and ink are. No excuse for being uneducated in such matters.

    That is not me getting on my high horse, that is me emphasising just how serious this public health issue is, and being frankly rather dismayed at such blasé attitudes.


    the blase attitudes from one thing, because it feels nice, no one has any conception of what can happen 9 months down the line when a kid apear's its people who just like the nice feeling granted its a very nice feeling but shore is that 30 min's of pleasure work the risk???? to some apprently yeah....

    and so what if there stupid enough to breed bwith out wearing condoms well then when there privats have wart every wear and there suffering from gonaira they can be safe within the knwolidge that there a statistic....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    I'm focusing more on STIs than unwanted pregnancy. Yeah it's a nuisance that bareback feels better, and having to put on a condom affects spontaneity, but them's the breaks if you're only having casual sex. When you meet someone with whom you'd like something more committed and you know you and they are all good in the hood where sexual health is concerned, then you have can have loads of unprotected sex. But if you don't, or barely, know the person... wow, it just seems like madness to have unprotected sex with them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,382 ✭✭✭✭AARRRGH


    Dudess wrote: »
    But you're using the reasoning of "loads of people have unprotected sex" to make it somehow ok and to justify you and the OP doing it.

    You really have a "glass half empty" view of the world.

    Where did I say I have unprotected sex? I remember saying the girls didn't want to use a condom, but where did I say I didn't want to use them? Tut tut.

    My point is this: instead of bashing the OP because she had unprotected sex and appears to have a fairly liberal, possibly crude attitude to foreplay, people should try to give her advice.
    Dudess wrote: »
    Having unprotected sex in a casual encounter is an extremely immature, irresponsible and downright stupid thing to do. If there are so many people having unprotected sex (within casual encounters - I'm not talking about something more committed) and not bothering to get tested afterwards well frankly, as another poster said, shame on them for being so careless, inconsiderate, thoughtless and selfish.

    In an ideal world people would not have unprotected sex, but we don't live in an ideal world.

    The fact of the matter is most people DO have unprotected sex at some stage with their new partner. You don't like this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

    You need to look past yourself and see not everyone in the world is like you.

    By the way, whether you have unprotected sex during a casual encounter or after a few months of a new relationship, it makes no difference as it's the same thing: you are having unprotected sex with someone who's STI status is unknown. Unless of course, you force every guy to get tested for diseases?
    Dudess wrote: »
    That is not me getting on my high horse, that is me emphasising just how serious this public health issue is, and being frankly rather dismayed at such blasé attitudes.

    Whether its a serious health issue or not is debatable (the lack of HIV in Ireland would suggest it isn't a serious health issue) but the reality is it happens.

    Again, we can start a new topic in humanties about safe sex if you really want to continue this conversation.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,214 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    AARRRGH wrote: »
    In an ideal world people would not have unprotected sex, but we don't live in an ideal world.

    The fact of the matter is most people DO have unprotected sex at some stage with their new partner. You don't like this, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

    You need to look past yourself and see not everyone in the world is like you.
    I know that obviously, that's not what I was saying. I am aware of people having unprotected sex within casual encounters and what I was saying was: that's no reason for one to be complacent and blasé about using protection, or for giving others the message - whether intentional or not - that they shouldn't listen to people who advise them against having unprotected sex and "lots of people do it".
    Whether its a serious health issue or not is debatable (the lack of HIV in Ireland would suggest it isn't a serious health issue) but the reality is it happens.
    It's not just HIV, there are other incurable diseases, diseases which cause infertility and are linked to cancer.


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