EPIC FAIL!!! lolz!!11oneoneeleventy!!!

whiskeyman

We're oh so quick to point out others 'EPIC FAIL' moments, but I'm sure we've had plenty ourselves.
What's your worst 'FAIL' moment that still makes you cringe?

For me, it's probably starting this thread...


seriously though? Having to run to the jacks to puke my guts up as I was seconds away from scoring this hot girl I fancied for ages in a nightclub back in my drunken college days...
She was none impressed.

gaz wac

whiskeyman wrote: »

For me, it's probably starting this thread...

I agree

dlofnep

When Edgar the whale-shark thought he was a unicorn.

ejmaztec

whiskeyman wrote: »

We're oh so quick to point out others 'EPIC FAIL' moments, but I'm sure we've had plenty ourselves.
What's your worst 'FAIL' moment that still makes you cringe?

For me, it's probably starting this thread...


seriously though? Having to run to the jacks to puke my guts up as I was seconds away from scoring this hot girl I fancied for ages in a nightclub back in my drunken college days...
She was none impressed.

I won't reply to this because my reply will be a failure, like most of my others.

Bollocks - in fact, this has been another one - goodbye cruel world................

Turd Ferguson

I ate my face once, that was fail

chin_grin

At a friends fathers' retirement do. Now there was an oul lad there who works with my other half. So he's talking away to her at the bar, see's me looking up to her and grabs her (jokingly) and gestures towards me.

I just jokingly gesture back, grimacing with one eye and pointing. (As in 'I've got my eye on you') Mate next to me leans over and goes; "Yeah, you know he has one eye". "Ah haha you're joking" I reply, "No, seriously".

My better half confirmed this five minutes later. He has a glass eye. Just sunk in to my seat. Then got merrily drunk and laughed about it.

FAIL!

kmart6

Opening this thread!

brucer24!

for the first few weeks of college last year i didnt know that the girl i lived with had a twitch,so everytime she twitched i used to wink back at her because i though she was winking at me..

chin_grin

brucer24! wrote: »

for the first few weeks of college last year i didnt know that the girl i lived with had a twitch,so everytime she twitched i used to wink back at her because i though she was winking at me..

Hahahah you win! /thread!

AngryBadger

brucer24! wrote: »

for the first few weeks of college last year i didnt know that the girl i lived with had a twitch,so everytime she twitched i used to wink back at her because i though she was winking at me..

HAHA That is classic!

In a similar vein, when i was in college I met this guy while doing a show and he was super-camp! So of course i was always taking the mick out of him, joking that he "loved the cock" and so on.

Then one evening the girl I was seeing who was a friend of his turned to me and said

"You know he's gay and has a massive crush on you right?"

Honey-ec

My Dad telling Charlie Chawke he hadn't got a leg to stand on in an argument over football...

shoelaceface

im too good to do anything like this!!

yeah im just top class!

faceman

Is whiskeyman hungover or off his head? me thinkz he haz hadz hiz mind controllzed

Turd Ferguson

shoelaceface wrote: »

im too good to do anything like this!!

yeah im just top class!

HAHAHAHAHA, that is by far the best fail yet.

phasers

THIS THREAD IS EPIC FAIL! LOLZ!!!11

whiskeyman

faceman wrote: »

Is whiskeyman hungover or off his head? me thinkz he haz hadz hiz mind controllzed

I can haz hangoverz

faceman

whiskeyman wrote: »

I can haz hangoverz

then go eat a cheezburger so and stop trolling yizzer dirtburd **

** not personal abuse!

TerrorFirmer

I really liked this girl for a very long time but, insecure as I was, believed it to be totally unrequited though the evidence totally suggested otherwise, and in the most obvious way possible too....but I only accepted this with hindsight when it was too late. Anyway, the worst and climatic part of the entire saga, was seeing the girl in question at a party making out with another attractive girl right in front of my eyes, then having her turn to me, and say ' We can do this too if you want.....'.

I sort of mumbled something and stumbled away, convinced I had surely misinterpreted it. WORST FAIL EVER!

Thankfully it's now 5 years later and we're dating so I get to make up for that epic **** up.

andrew

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I really liked this girl for a very long time but, insecure as I was, believed it to be totally unrequited though the evidence totally suggested otherwise, and in the most obvious way possible too....but I only accepted this with hindsight when it was too late. Anyway, the worst and climatic part of the entire saga, was seeing the girl in question at a party making out with another attractive girl right in front of my eyes, then having her turn to me, and say ' We can do this too if you want.....'.

I sort of mumbled something and stumbled away, convinced I had surely misinterpreted it. WORST FAIL EVER!

Thankfully it's now 5 years later and we're dating so I get to make up for that epic **** up.

Someone get this man a facepalm.

chin_grin

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Honey-ec

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I really liked this girl for a very long time but, insecure as I was, believed it to be totally unrequited though the evidence totally suggested otherwise, and in the most obvious way possible too....but I only accepted this with hindsight when it was too late. Anyway, the worst and climatic part of the entire saga, was seeing the girl in question at a party making out with another attractive girl right in front of my eyes, then having her turn to me, and say ' We can do this too if you want.....'.

I sort of mumbled something and stumbled away, convinced I had surely misinterpreted it. WORST FAIL EVER!

Thankfully it's now 5 years later and we're dating so I get to make up for that epic **** up.

Pics or it didn't happen

faceman

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

I really liked this girl for a very long time but, insecure as I was, believed it to be totally unrequited though the evidence totally suggested otherwise, and in the most obvious way possible too....but I only accepted this with hindsight when it was too late. Anyway, the worst and climatic part of the entire saga, was seeing the girl in question at a party making out with another attractive girl right in front of my eyes, then having her turn to me, and say ' We can do this too if you want.....'.

I sort of mumbled something and stumbled away, convinced I had surely misinterpreted it. WORST FAIL EVER!

Thankfully it's now 5 years later and we're dating so I get to make up for that epic **** up.

Man, i remember a story that i still beat myself up over from my college days that i thought was a fail, but jaysus, you take the biscuit! I feel liberated now!! Sorry!

Call Me Jimmy

EPIC WIN Terror! Sounds exactly like the kind of thing I'de do!

Karl Hungus

Horrible tale of fail right here. A few years back, I was buying some DVDs in Xtravision, it was some 3 for €xx deal, can't remember how much. Picked out a couple of films I wanted, Romper Stomper was one, not sure what the other one was, but I couldn't really find a 3rd I wanted, so I picked something at random... Blair Witch 2.

Absolutely horrible film, which I fecked off to a second hand shop after watching, but the utter fail of it all still haunts me.

TerrorFirmer

well, at least it all worked out in the end so that's worth something....even if it did take half a decade of living a life of epic fail.

Call Me Jimmy

Karl Hungus wrote: »

Horrible tale of fail right here. A few years back, I was buying some DVDs in Xtravision, it was some 3 for €xx deal, can't remember how much. Picked out a couple of films I wanted, Romper Stomper was one, not sure what the other one was, but I couldn't really find a 3rd I wanted, so I picked something at random... Blair Witch 2.

Absolutely horrible film, which I fecked off to a second hand shop after watching, but the utter fail of it all still haunts me.

Yea I can definately relate to that. When ye pick up a bundle and you essentially get one of the things for free. The realisation that you've indirectly contributed to the turd being made is is always harrowing.

Karl Hungus

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea I can definately relate to that. When ye pick up a bundle and you essentially get one of the things for free. The realisation that you've indirectly contributed to the turd being made is is always harrowing.

Thankfully I've learned my lesson, and I make sure that I want everything that's in an offer before buying 'em. These days, I'll sooner leave back DVDs than grab something to make up the numbers.

Dun laoire

My biggest fail was when i was playing football many years ago. Arrived down looking all snazzy. Shiny white shorts, new socks, you name it i had it and that included the skills. Anyway to cut a long story short i got the ball which was covered in either dog or junkie sh1t right in the mouth, this was only about 20 seconds into the game. I was heaving and dry reaching until i finally got the sh1t out from my throat. It was nasty and from memory i didn't get too much sympathy.

TerrorFirmer

Dun laoire wrote: »

My biggest fail was when i was playing football many years ago. Arrived down looking all snazzy. Shiny white shorts, new socks, you name it i had it and that included the skills. Anyway to cut a long story short i got the ball which was covered in either dog or junkie sh1t right in the mouth, this was only about 20 seconds into the game. I was heaving and dry reaching until i finally got the sh1t out from my throat. It was nasty and from memory i didn't get too much sympathy.

that's not a fail at all, bit embarrassing and um....nasty? alright but a true epic fail has to be attributable to a decision you made or as a result of something you've done....

AckwelFoley

Last nite i shaved my balls with a rusty single blade razor i found in the sanitry bin because my gf was getting a free tooth flossin she didnt like.


ball rash

/fail

zuroph

few weeks ago in shop with my gf, they had mens "pulling pants" on special offer, basically all sorts of over the top mens underwear. I had a look through and spotted a shiny gold bananahammock. laughin, i wandered over to my gf and said "hey baby, did u see the gold thong at the end of the rail here?!?" .....except when i looked up it wasnt my girlfriend.

projectmayhem

I almost had a fail moment today walking into a busy Subway and nearly tripping up on the small step that was conveniently hidden by a small mat. I of course stumbled right in front of two attractive women. I wouldn't call it a complete fail, but it was a semi-fail.

Dun laoire

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

that's not a fail at all, bit embarrassing and um....nasty? alright but a fail has to be attributable to a decision you made....

I taught i was the dogs b0ll1x on the pitch. Throwin the occasional shape here and there

chamlis

I formatted the wrong Hard drive day 2 into my new job.

It was belong to an Accountant.

No backup

/EPIC FAIL

Call Me Jimmy

Dun laoire wrote: »

I taught i was the dogs b0ll1x on the pitch. Throwin the occasional shape here and there

Yea I can sorta see the fail, all kitted out, thinking you are the **** and then you become the ****!

racso1975

zuroph few weeks ago in shop with my gf, they had mens "pulling pants" on special offer, basically all sorts of over the top mens underwear. I had a look through and spotted a shiny gold bananahammock. laughin, i wandered over to my gf and said "hey baby, did u see the gold thong at the end of the rail here?!?" .....except when i looked up it wasnt my girlfriend.

Did sort of the same except i slapped the aforementioned woman on the arse and after gettin the dirties and abuse off her then got abuse off gf cause "how could i think her ass looked that big"

rhapsody!

Throwing up on a Dublin City Bus.

zuroph

i do have the most epic embarrassing story ever, but i've not posted itup here, cos people on here know me...

Call Me Jimmy

Gwan ye know ye want ta!

whiskeyman

zuroph wrote: »

i do have the most epic embarrassing story ever, but i've not posted itup here, cos people on here know me...

Not posting story = EPIC FAIL

Pyr0

zuroph wrote: »

i do have the most epic embarrassing story ever, but i've not posted itup here, cos people on here know me...

Then why even bother posting ?

zuroph

Adult themes contained below....


I was with a girl a while, and she was a kinky bitch, into all sorts of stuff. so, one night, I'm ****in her, while ive got a carrot with a condom on it up her poopshoot. needless to say, we had a good time, and then i was heading into town to meet mates, so i bagged the offending carrot, still wrapped up, and probably a little pooey.

I head to town, and park up, then stroll up towards pub district, dumping the bag in a public bin on the way. no more than 20 feet on, some homeless **** stabs another hobo , killing him. i call the cops, they arrive, and ive to stick around to give a statement. so I'm standing there talking to the cop, while the whole crime scene investigation gets under way. the murder weapon is missing. they search the bin, pull the bag out. i spot this, and go red, and hurry my statement finished, just wanting to get away knowing that later on, they'll be reviewing the cctv on the street. I never got a follow up call on my statement..



realised that i told this to one or two already..

Overheal

I was saying bye to this girl back in middle school as she got onto her bus, then I went to turn and board my own bus and slammed my face square into a metal pole.

not so much epic as a fail tbh..

edit: oh wait no. My 12th birthday. We went to some restaurant and I had to poo. So you go to the bathroom and theres 2 ways to go, to the left theres a bunch of portraits on the walls of men, on the right wimmins. So being 12 and naive I went left assuming the obvious, went into the cubicle to take a **** and thats when 2 wimmins walked in talking all sorts of crap no 12 year old really needs to hear, and doing things no 12 year old really needs to hear. "What are ya doin jill?" "I'ma peeing!" Tampon this, innuendo that. I must have stayed in there for 10 minutes after they walked out just to be sure I hadn't been seen.

shoelaceface

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

HAHAHAHAHA, that is by far the best fail yet.

well you know turd... if you cant even praise your own superiority in this world... what can ya do.... i knowwwww....... dress up as penguins!

Fishyfreak

zuroph wrote: »

Adult themes contained below....


I was with a girl a while, and she was a kinky bitch, into all sorts of stuff. so, one night, I'm ****in her, while ive got a carrot with a condom on it up her poopshoot. needless to say, we had a good time, and then i was heading into town to meet mates, so i bagged the offending carrot, still wrapped up, and probably a little pooey.

I head to town, and park up, then stroll up towards pub district, dumping the bag in a public bin on the way. no more than 20 feet on, some homeless **** stabs another hobo , killing him. i call the cops, they arrive, and ive to stick around to give a statement. so I'm standing there talking to the cop, while the whole crime scene investigation gets under way. the murder weapon is missing. they search the bin, pull the bag out. i spot this, and go red, and hurry my statement finished, just wanting to get away knowing that later on, they'll be reviewing the cctv on the street. I never got a follow up call on my statement..



realised that i told this to one or two already..

Brilliant, pissing myself laughing here. Oh, wait... pissing myself = FAIL.

Sofaspud

projectmayhem wrote: »

I almost had a fail moment today walking into a busy Subway and nearly tripping up on the small step that was conveniently hidden by a small mat. I of course stumbled right in front of two attractive women. I wouldn't call it a complete fail, but it was a semi-fail.

Similar to this, but I was standing on a train, holding the pole thingy. The train stopped and I fell backwards, one leg stayed where it was, and the other went into the air while I held on to the pole trying not to fall over, in what was the slowest fall in history. I fell right against two hot girls in the corner, but I held on to the pole, so my upper ody was horizontal, with one foot still on the ground.

rhapsody! wrote: »

Throwing up on a Dublin City Bus.

Done this too, hungover, into a coffee cup, which I thought was clever until it start overflowing.

PurpleBerry

No intro required:

Thread Fail

Insect Overlord

Neesa wrote: »

No intro required:

Thread Fail

The ironing is delicious!

My turn, aged 6, on trip to Aquadome in Tralee. Go into dressing rooms, everything going to plan, until I realise my little kiddie speedos are missing. Now, what a sensible kid would've done is put his pants back on and ask for help. Not me! I went around the Aquadome in my birthday suit, hiding as much as possible in the shallow end, innocently believing that nobody could see me through the water. After 20 minutes or so I spotted my shorts next to one of the life guard stations.

A retrospective facepalm! :

Zillah

I was cycling to school once many years ago. For no reason at all I started to fall off the bike, collided a pole and got tangled up in the bike. My cursing drew the attention of a pretty girl ahead of me, who giggled and went on her way.

superfly

some great stories of male conquests and some epic fails among them
http://forum.football365.com/index.php?t=msg&th=113081&start=0

Dun laoire

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Yea I can sorta see the fail, all kitted out, thinking you are the **** and then you become the ****!

Spot on Jimmy love