Players that never shutup at the poker table

mick84

You buy into a tournament, sit down at your table and have a look around to see a player you know, a bloke that never shuts up at the table, telling bad beat stories or a story where he won a few quid.

Around a year ago this happen to me a bloke is at my table and he is dragging that he won £10K to £15k in a tournament in Britain and that he is making so much money online + live tournaments and that he is heading to the WSOP. This was none stop bull****.

I stopped heading down to the casino’s for a while and returned one week to a Sunday tournament in the Red Cow.

I just made the registration and paid in. And the same bloke was there BUT he was not playing in the tournament because he couldn’t afford 150 euro into the tournament.

JOKER. Asking people for lends or to spot him into the tournament. Can you get any lower?
And no one spotted him.

Point is, everyone know a person like this.
Why do people do this??? This is what puts me off playing live tournaments, you finish your days work looking forward to a nice game of cards go down to the casino and then have to listen to some bloke that never shuts up talking crap

If you know of any of these players please share your stories

Glowingmind

um...ipod?

mdwexford

Thats what ipods are made for.

$$%$^£*^& im always too slow

TommyGunne

Keith?

sickpuppy

Syrian Paul?

5starpool

sickpuppy wrote: »

Syrian Paul?

That the lad in the cap that plays in the Fitz the last few months?

sickpuppy

Thats teh one Dom youd here hima a mile away.

valor

TommyGunne wrote: »

Keith?

came into this thread just to post this

eagle eye

Yeah ipod imo. If you need to understand his behaviour better this might help you but it'll take a few years.;)

Ace2007

kayroo, bad beat joe or that syrian lad(is he still about)

Four of a kind

Glowingmind wrote: »

um...ipod?

Exactly, with a good solid pair of noise reducing headphones as well

*Sighs and walks away quietly*

YULETIRED

I hate players that order food and when you raise them, they chew and hmmmm a song to themselves whilst rocking..........the smacking of lips and the potential for crumbs in the eye make it an all to unpleasant experience...

For people who talk about bad beats, all you have to do is say the word ...'Luxury' to them...for some reason they sneer at you and then talk to someone else, .nobody knows why this works..
BBJ gave me a 5 second stare off last time I did it.

IN my day lad we knew all about bad beats let me tell you Joe....

tylerdurden94

Just keep nodding and hopefully he will shut the fcuk up if your sitting beside him.

Ipod.

Bust him out or bust out of the table to get away.

Tell him he plays like a donk when he trys to tell you about a hand. Hopefully that will send him into tilt mode and he will get busted out.

Ace2007

Or in the case of the syrian lad, when he shows one, insist on seeing the other - he hates it - and will run off complaining to others about it....

YULETIRED

Ace2007 wrote: »

Or in the case of the syrian lad, when he shows one, insist on seeing the other - he hates it - and will run off complaining to others about it....

He can't be Syrious, ignore him.

Please poiint him out to me if I make it into the monthly EOM in the fitz tonight.... ....it'a been a while.

pocketdooz

The guy who thinks he's this guy



"If I had any draw I'd be all in by now "







.

tylerdurden94

YULETIRED wrote: »

He can't be Syrious, ignore him.

Please poiint him out to me if I make it into the monthly EOM in the fitz tonight.... ....it'a been a while.

Not one of your best ones

ElectraBlue

Pfffffft! :rolleyes: Keith/Kayroo is tame compared to some players I've dealt to/played with... Trust me!!!

Pub games throw up the worse types: they don't just talk, they RANT, they ROAR, they TAUNT other players... :mad: I've seen some pull the ipods wearer's headphones off! Poke the other players in the arm/shoulder to get a reaction when they are ignored... The drunker they get the louder and brasser they act... :mad: And it's all part of their routine - its what gets them to the final table, no one wants to get into a pot with them to end up the object of ridicule!

ElectraBlue

ElectraBlue wrote: »

Pfffffft! :rolleyes: Keith/Kayroo is tame compared to some players I've dealt to/played with... Trust me!!!

Eh...thanks?

Am I really that bad?

Conbro

Tell him he plays like a donk

Keith revels in this sort of atmosphere and naturally becomes much more vociferous

Conbro

He can't be Syrious

Is your collection of comedy material really this exhausted? Get ur coat

Conbro

Conbro wrote: »

Keith revels in this sort of atmosphere and naturally becomes much more vociferous

What can I say? The man knows me.

cooker3

Deleted User wrote: »

Eh...thanks?

Am I really that bad?

The first time I sat with you, your constant talking seriously annoyed me.
It's quite advantageous

YULETIRED

Conbro wrote: »

Is your collection of comedy material really this exhausted? Get ur coat

I'm quite proud of this one actually.....it's groan on me the more I read it.

Now I know how Tony Blackburn felt....:)


I love it when the corny police get agitated...... it's not the same though if you can't hear the goodjaysus's and see the eyes roll...:D

Conbro

love it when the corny police get agitated

Im not getting agitated ffs whats ur problem

YULETIRED

Conbro wrote: »

Im not getting agitated ffs whats ur problem

very good.

Mellor

cooker3 wrote: »

The first time I sat with you, your constant talking seriously annoyed me.
It's quite advantageous

I think sammy had to leave because he wanted to hit him the first time around

Mellor

Mellor wrote: »

I think sammy had to leave because he wanted to hit him the first time around

That was sickpuppy but Sammy hated me with, and I quote, "the fires of a thousand suns".

I should really shut up shouldn't I?

Conbro

I should really shut up shouldn't I?

No way. My easiest touches in the jackpot are when you're at your outspoken best, driving the whole table to the brink.

AKQJ10

the skill is getting keith to crack

marty stavros

when I was in vegas there was this austraaaalian:rolleyes: who had a thing for crocs, he was pretty loud

LuckyLloyd

This post has been deleted.

consultech

Buckley father and son in the jackpot - They're actually pretty nice chaps though, it's usually all just an act to tilt the easy targets at the table...

marty stavros

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

If you want to maximize your return from the game then yes, you definitely should.

+!

Ace2007

pocketdooz wrote: »

The guy who thinks he's this guy



"If I had any draw I'd be all in by now "







.

i assume ur talking about vinny... yea he gets on some people's nerves..
just think what the table would be like, vinny, ur man paul and kayroo.... wow if u forgot ur ipod u'd be screwed....

FuttBucker

in defence of keith, i believe he once took a bet that he could stop talking for a whole hour or something along those lines, not saying one word while playing and he won like 50quid

FuttBucker

FuttBucker wrote: »

in defence of keith, i believe he once took a bet that he could stop talking for a whole hour or something along those lines, not saying one word while playing and he won like 50quid

Easiest €50 I ever made. I really am quite a reserved chap normally.

Trippie

I dont think keith has ever been caught on camera being slapped by some guy for wrecking his head so much by a drunken theresalwaysone that pushed him over the edge. made for hilarious viewing afterwards

TommyGunne

Trippie wrote: »

I dont think keith has ever been caught on camera being slapped by some guy for wrecking his head so much by a drunken theresalwaysone that pushed him over the edge. made for hilarious viewing afterwards

I'd love to see that! Very believable!

jbravado

AKQJ10 wrote: »

the skill is learning to smoke crack while still functioning as a valued member of society

FYP

LOL

Mellor

FuttBucker wrote: »

in defence of keith, i believe he once took a bet that he could stop talking for a whole hour or something along those lines, not saying one word while playing and he won like 50quid

Yeah, he couldn't speak for an hour, I think the bet was made by ConBro,

Trippie

TommyGunne wrote: »

I'd love to see that! Very believable!

ask sara next time your in if they still have it

Mellor

isn't it on youtube?

smurph

So a couple of weeks ago im in the Fitz and I will call this guy "Player Z" (player x is used for another cheerful fitz regular)......

And he is sitting beside me, and I do seriously wish that I had charged my ipod fully, because it has just died...... sigh

So anyways he limps in in Ep(nothing new there), its folded to the Button who puts a big raise in..... He twitches and moans, and twitches some more and then announces that he is folding his favourite hand, favourit hand I tell ya...

So then he asks the table to guess what it is... go on guess, guess, a few shrugs of the shoulders, pocket 6's??? Q 10 soooteeed ???etc.,

Nop he says it's
J k off, Get it ha ha ha get it ha ha ha

do you get it smurph ha ha ha...;

To which I look straight at him and announce "well it's the only way that your going to get it".... then proceed to put my ipod earphones in my ear and pretend to listen to music.... sigh

he goes out for a smoke mumbling about "no sense of humour"..... double sigh

pocketdooz

smurph wrote: »

So a couple of weeks ago im in the Fitz and I will call this guy "Player Z" (player x is used for another cheerful fitz regular)......

And he is sitting beside me, and I do seriously wish that I had charged my ipod fully, because it has just died...... sigh

So anyways he limps in in Ep(nothing new there), its folded to the Button who puts a big raise in..... He twitches and moans, and twitches some more and then announces that he is folding his favourite hand, favourit hand I tell ya...

So then he asks the table to guess what it is... go on guess, guess, a few shrugs of the shoulders, pocket 6's??? Q 10 soooteeed ???etc.,

Nop he says it's
J k off, Get it ha ha ha get it ha ha ha

do you get it smurph ha ha ha...;

To which I look straight at him and announce "well it's the only way that your going to get it".... then proceed to put my ipod earphones in my ear and pretend to listen to music.... sigh

he goes out for a smoke mumbling about "no sense of humour"..... double sigh

I was at the table then - he was sh*teing on about the other night again. Didn't get many laughs that time either. An iPod is essential when he's around.

YULETIRED

Pat VIckers slagged my shirt, Dom slagged my shoes and Donal threatened to 'out' me on boards for having 'take that' on my ipod. (shared Itunes I swear to god) so being a yapper can backfire on you..

Later that evening...........A certain player came onto the table and had annoying words with la General every 2nd pot. It was then the ol IPOD (not take that) was switched to full volume... as I don't really respond to 'edgy' types very well. .. ..


my last post on boards for a week...have fun campers....

Theresalwaysone

I completely diagree with Lloyd that Keith should shut up to maximise his return from the game. His talk makes people feel comfortable and keep the table laughing, makes it play looser. I think he should be quiet during his hands though, he gives away a lot of info.

Regarding me getting bitchslapped by the guy from waterford, well it was worth it.

Chucky the tree

Theresalwaysone wrote: »

I completely diagree with Lloyd that Keith should shut up to maximise his return from the game. His talk makes people feel comfortable and keep the table laughing, makes it play looser. I think he should be quiet during his hands though, he gives away a lot of info.

Regarding me getting bitchslapped by the guy from waterford, well it was worth it.

Trip report?

ROCKMAN

The other way round,
Working one night when a well oiled stranger comes in the club, As I'm deciding if he is worth the hassle of letting in , I get the nod for the manager to let him in, Now there is a full table on the go and has being for a few hours now , which in itself was a small miracle at the time.
As the table is full he decides to sit near me at the door , At this stage I take the opportunite to tell him that if he has a bad effect the game he will be asked to leave, Bad mistake , He starts to rant on about , how well he know , who he know , the things his won , the place his played he just bangs on and on and on............Now i'm thinking jesus if his like this here he is going to be a nightmare at the table , piss everyone off and RUIN THE GAME . And more than likely get me at bit of an earful as one of the bosses is on the premises .
Half an hour of ranting later ,just as I'm about to snap and ask him to leave , A seat becomes available , Christ here goes,

Well he sat down and par introducing himself and asking for the odd tea or something , HE NEVER OPENED HIS MOUTH FOR TWO TO THREE HOURS HE PLAYED,

Book by cover comes to mind.

Idu

four pages in and i haven't seen one mention of Tracksuit Tommy who always played in Lukes. Unless he's the mystery player Z from Smurph's post that is