Out of your league?

Chris86

without going into too much detail, can a girl ever be out of a guys league?

I see girls about that are absolutely stunning, or know people who are great looking and have the personality and everything, they are basically perfect.
Only problem is the only thing I can think of is shes out of my league and probably wouldn't even give me the time of day!

So opinions please,
Is it just me or is there such thing as a 'league'?

Drift

Hey Chris, there's no such thing as perfect. Everyone has problems and "flaws," if people didn't have flaws the world would be an awful boring place.

Some people have leagues in their heads. If a girl thinks she's out of your league ...... she actually is because despite what she thinks she's divisions lower!!! So if you see an amazing girl; firstly realise her farts smell just as bad as yours and then go talk to her. What she says and does is much more important than how she looks.

dee8839

I can't stand that phrase, "out of my league". I'm a shy enough person around guys I like, especially when I don't know where we stand. I was mad after a guy from my course in college last year, we'd kissed twice, but he would never so much as look at me in college or on nights out after the last time. And finally, when a friend of mine was out one night with this guy and a mutual friend, I walked into the club, the mutual friend teased the guy about me, and he said "Oh, nothing going on there, she's out of my league". As in, only reason he wasn't trying it on was because he didn't think I'd go for it or something. Mental.

Don't think in terms of leagues. Be interesting, be fun to be around, be confident and you'd be surprised at which girls are attracted to that. If a girl thinks she's out of your league, she's obviously a twat you're better off without in the first place!

mumhaabu

No girl is out anyones League if you ask me, it all depends on how you approach the situation and you must have confidence. Alot of these girls are so stunning that most guys don't have the courage to approach them and thus are actually quite receptive to approaches.

I have been with alot of women in my time and the best thing is not to over think it just be yourself and before you know it you will making coffee for her the morning after. Women are not as hard as people think I have slept with alot and can tell you that it is far harder to get an average "cute" type to the sack than your average blonde stunner. Courage, Body Language, How you are dressed and (unfortunatly your wealth and social standing are also big factors) <I am ok in both these but for you white tshirt and blue jeans guy with a €10 haircut and a Nissan Micra ain't going to cut it with the paris hilton wannabes.

Liam Byrne

I remember thinking twice in the past year that someone was out of my league, and in hindsight with extra knowledge acquired, it's true.

But it's because they're not in mine.

EDIT : LMAO at the "Paris Hilton Wannabes" comment......it's so apt for one of the above it's almost NOT funny!!!

Latchy

Liam Byrne wrote: »

I remember thinking twice in the past year that someone was out of my league, and in hindsight with extra knowledge acquired, it's true.

But it's because they're not in mine.

EDIT : LMAO at the "Paris Hilton Wannabes" comment......it's so apt for one of the above it's almost NOT funny!!!

That's not a bad philosophy to have Liam

Fast_Mover

I'v know guys who are attractive/great personality and am like 'phwarrr I'd be with you, but probably have no chance as you could have any girl you wanted' then other friends of mine see him/know him and are like 'wtf you see in him..you can do better!'
I don't take it personally as I'm just the same with them with lads they like.
People have different tastes when it comes to members of the opposite sex. It's brilliant, otherwise you'd have everyone fighting over the same people!

..Shur she might be thinking that your out of her league. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Red Hand

mumhaabu wrote: »

No girl is out anyones League if you ask me, it all depends on how you approach the situation and you must have confidence. Alot of these girls are so stunning that most guys don't have the courage to approach them and thus are actually quite receptive to approaches.

I have been with alot of women in my time and the best thing is not to over think it just be yourself and before you know it you will making coffee for her the morning after. Women are not as hard as people think I have slept with alot and can tell you that it is far harder to get an average "cute" type to the sack than your average blonde stunner. Courage, Body Language, How you are dressed and (unfortunatly your wealth and social standing are also big factors) <I am ok in both these but for you white tshirt and blue jeans guy with a €10 haircut and a Nissan Micra ain't going to cut it with the paris hilton wannabes.

Well then, by that reckoning, there are leagues then, aren't there? Wealth and social standing being one of the main ones. And as one gets older, one would assume that wealth and social standing increase one's chances?

trowelled

As many have said if a girl thinks she's out of your league then she's not worth having. Most girls don't think in terms of leagues, I certainly don't. Personality and confidence are more what draw a girls attention. Looks more often than not are an inital attraction. If there's two guys in a room, one is absolutely stunning but has the personality of a dead fish and/or has zero confidence and the other is a fairly average looking guy but has the conidence to approach a girl and be comfortable around her with a great personality then 9 times out of 10 the girl is gonna go for the second option. So many times I've spotted couples whereby the girl is stunning and the guy is just average or vice versa.

GrumPy

Chris86 wrote: »

without going into too much detail, can a girl ever be out of a guys league?

No, other way around though yes.

How often do you see a ugly chick with a really hot guy? Rarely.

Hot girl not so hot guy? Often.
Us men have it easy imo!

ntlbell

GrumPy wrote: »

How often do you see a ugly chick with a really hot guy? Rarely.

So your saying men are shallow?

OP

The only leagues are the one's you create yourself.

GrumPy

ntlbell wrote: »

So your saying men are shallow?

Not at all, just saying how see it.

eveie

without coming across too cocky i am out of most mens leagues, im pretty darn hot and i know it!
on a serious note, no one is out of anyones league, although i personally feel that some guys are out of me league but i think thatws lack of self confidence on my behalf.
have confidence in yourself and go for it

Elessar

Yes I believe women can be out of mens league. I mean, how often do you see a fat, pasty white thick glasses WOW nerd walking down the street with a blonde haired blue eyed stunner? Not very often I bet.

Irishcrx

Agreed, I don't think anyone is to good for another it's alot to do with convidence,
I've a mate who's really shy and can't seem to get a date but he would check most boxes on being a catch he's 22, owns his own house, has a savage car, good job , is a fairly fit bloke and funny as **** and he hasn't been out with anyone in month's I have another who is a complete waster, no job etc and he gets alot of girls due to be convident...go figure..

LegacyUser

Women will judge you on looks at first, but if you spend some time with them and come off as funny, and self confident.. it usually goes out the window. I find it hard to pull randomers in night clubs, i've a much better chance if im introduced to a girl and we spend the night hanging out in the same group all night where i can be myself.

My current girlfriend is out of my league (I'd be a 6, she'd be close to a 9), i have people tell me this all the time. She wasn't attracted to me at first but after a few weeks she fell head over heels. This has been the case for me with a few very good looking women..

Personally, i think its because im funny and women love that shizzle.

Dragan

There are no leagues, only self impossed limits on who we feel we can socially interact with successfully.

LolaDub

Women that think they're out of your league - b*tches
Women that think they're not in your league - really think you're a hottie

I hear this league thing a lot from boyfriends which is ridiculous. If a gorgeous came asked me out and i wasn't able to have any sort of a conversation with him apart from his mirror then i'd say no, plenty of times 'geeky' guys have started talking to me and have been really funny and interesting and we've met up again. The pretending to be confident thing can go against you though as sometimes it comes across as arrogance and you thinking you're in a higher league than us which nobody would be impressed by!

SpookyDoll

This whole league business is a bunch of Bull$hit !!!

I've had fellas who I wouldn't fancy in the slightest look down their nose at me like Im a worm, and then on other occasions lads who I would consider "way out of my league" chat me up...its MOST confusing....

With my current BF at first I almost blanked him thinking I would be wasting my time "batting above my average" but he had other ideas!

So forget about leagues, I think peoples attitudes are much more important.

Disco Stu

I laugh at the league thing now.... used to believe it until I ended up with girls a couple of times who I thought would never look at me twice and realised that at the end of the day some people just get on regardless of how good looking or popular they are...

Everyone is looking for basically the same thing and you should never restrict who you chat to or approach because of how they look... if they say no fine, but if you don't ever try you'll always believe they are better than you :rolleyes:

LegacyUser

Op,
Please never, ever think like this.
I am a very good looking girl and I just have to say to you I would never ever be looking down on somebody for not being "in my league". Us girls go much more for personality than you guys seem to think.

You know us lookers sometimes get so much less attention than our "normal" girlfriends because fellas don't think twice about approaching someone they reckon are withing their league/reach.
So if you see a good looking girl that you like, start chatting to her, it will possible make her day and if she doesn't appreciate it, she's a stuck up cow and doesn't deserve your attention anyway.

Have you seen Hitch? With the model girl that gets the sweet chubby fella in the end? There is no such thing as within/out of your league. Girl/fellas who think that way are empty, shallow and not fun to be around anyway.
Good luck with the chasin'

Dudess

There is the notion of "EW!!! How can they be together? He's way too good looking for her/she's way too good looking for him".
But that's just taking into consideration what other people think. If you were to let others determine who you go out with, well that's up to you, but it's far better for yourself to just go for whomever you want to be with and to hell with what other people think.
The reality is though, there are people whom few people, if anyone, would fancy - either because of their personality or because they have let themselves seriously go physically. I don't care if that seems shallow - it's a reality, if not a nice one.

ntlbell

Dudess wrote: »

T
The reality is though there are people whom few if anyone would fancy - either because of their personality or because they have let themselves seriously go. I don't care if that seems shallow - it's a reality if not a nice one.

The reality is there's usually someone with as bad a personality or who have let themselves go as much and they collide...

it's all very rosemantic....

I saw a 22 stone homeless alcoholic kissing a 7/8 stone homeless heroin addict in stephens green one sunday afternoon

romantic bliss...

there's someone for everyone

Tigger

yes a girl can see you as out of her league its not that she's a bitch or whatever it that you are not her type

now tall handsome rich educated kind tough men withaplayful, streak and a bit of danger to them that are very confident till you really get to know them and who can then expose a soft heart are probably gonna tick more than the average number of boxes but really its about who a particular girl is attraced to

Myxomatosis

There are leagues.

Social status, racial, level of attractiveness, etc.

Anyone who doesn't think there are leagues are kidding themselves. I lucky am at ease with the fact and know for certain there are a huge amount of ladies that would definitely be out of my league.

ntlbell

Myxomatosis wrote: »

There are leagues.

Social status, racial, level of attractiveness, etc.

Anyone who doesn't think there are leagues are kidding themselves. I lucky am at ease with the fact and know for certain there are a huge amount of ladies that would definitely be out of my league.

They're leagues you're constructing based on your perception.

Why would someone of a different race be "out of my league" ?

They're are tons of dog ugly men going out with gorgeous looking successful women

if the dog ugly guy kidded himself into thinking there was league's he would n't be hitting the hotty

Dudess

I take your point Myxomatosis but it's not impossible for two people who aren't matched in terms of e.g. looks to strike up a relationship. I get annoyed when I hear comments like "what's she doing with him?", "she's too good looking for him" etc.

Yeah, it's true that the more confidence you have, the more your chances of being with someone whom others might consider "out of your league" increase.

Liam Byrne

latchyco wrote: »

That's not a bad philosophy to have Liam

Cheers! It's funny that it only applies in those two cases.....ironically the 2 that I did initially think were "out of my league" !!!!

Go figure!

But yeah, it's all about confidence.....and meeting people who aren't too shallow ("you've no BMW/boat so feck off") or pretentious.

TBH, from my - limited - experience, over-confidence and over-flirting usually comes from a lack of confidence.....the need to prove that you are OK, or are attractive to others.

You have to like the look of someone, yeah - of course! But the "click" comes if you can talk and laugh and relax, too.....

I mean, no point in having a hot/flash car if you can't drive it!!!! And no point in having a hot g/f that you can't talk to or have a laugh with.....

Myxomatosis

ntlbell wrote: »

Why would someone of a different race be "out of my league" ?

Clearly you haven't heard of honor killings

Burial

ntlbell wrote: »

The reality is there's usually someone with as bad a personality or who have let themselves go as much and they collide...

it's all very rosemantic....

I saw a 22 stone homeless alcoholic kissing a 7/8 stone homeless heroin addict in stephens green one sunday afternoon

romantic bliss...

there's someone for everyone

:eek: But the 22 stone homeless alcoholic is out of the 7/8 stone homeless heroin addict's league! :P

Seriously, this league stuff is a joke. It's not even true. The only one's who follow it, are the ones most concerned with how they look/other people think. I can't believe I thought this was real until I saw some people in life and realised WTF is he/she doing with he/she! They're way too hot/old for them! Until, I saw how they got on with each other..

TBH, if I had a person "Below" my league come upto me, I wouldn't mind and consider them, but they'd have to impress me. If a person "Above" my league came to me I'd be more willing to go for it, but they just don't have to show me their complete retards. (Seriously, I've had a few hot girls come upto me and I'll be all for it, but only to find, they have a brain that made me feel like a peadophile...)

ntlbell

Myxomatosis wrote: »

Clearly you haven't heard of honor killings

What has that to do with anything?

ven0m

Chris86 wrote: »

without going into too much detail, can a girl ever be out of a guys league?

I see girls about that are absolutely stunning, or know people who are great looking and have the personality and everything, they are basically perfect.
Only problem is the only thing I can think of is shes out of my league and probably wouldn't even give me the time of day!

So opinions please,
Is it just me or is there such thing as a 'league'?

No woman is out of any man's league - the second a bloke thinks that, he has no chance with anyone.

Chris86

OK, thanks for the replies, all have been helpful and insightful at how both sexes work.
Seems it's a confidence factor so I guess i'll work on that!
Cheers

ven0m

Chris86 wrote: »

OK, thanks for the replies, all have been helpful and insightful at how both sexes work.
Seems it's a confidence factor so I guess i'll work on that!
Cheers

Confidence is key for success at anything my friend - believe & you can achieve.

MIN2511

There are leagues... same way we have class...

It's shallow yes but thats the way it is

Deedsie

Any advice on how to work on the confidence part? I would be a fairly good looking lad, or so im told. I have no problem chatting to girls in general. But if i see a girl i really like i never go up to talk to her.

I always have a logic of she wouldnt be interested in me. Sucks a bit.

Dragan

Myxomatosis wrote: »

There are leagues.

Social status, racial, level of attractiveness, etc.

Anyone who doesn't think there are leagues are kidding themselves. I lucky am at ease with the fact and know for certain there are a huge amount of ladies that would definitely be out of my league.

All the reasons listed only exist for you because you allow them to.

ven0m

Deedsie wrote: »

Any advice on how to work on the confidence part? I would be a fairly good looking lad, or so im told. I have no problem chatting to girls in general. But if i see a girl i really like i never go up to talk to her.

I always have a logic of she wouldnt be interested in me. Sucks a bit.

a. you'll be talking to a person, not 'a girl'
b. what's the worst that could happen, she smiles & walks away
c. don't take any of it too seriously
d. relax

Deedsie

ven0m wrote: »

a. you'll be talking to a person, not 'a girl'

Thats a good place for me to start i suppose. Thanks

TerrorFirmer

Dragan wrote: »

All the reasons listed only exist for you because you allow them to.

Come on Dragan, everyone has leagues of sorts - saying someone is out of your league is really just an elitist or ignorant way of saying 'Not my cup of tea'. It can refer to mindset, physical appearance, whatever - but we absolutely all have leagues, I know, for example, I would not want to date a woman who....let's say was morbidly obese, extremely unattractive, or whatever. Nothing wrong with that, and while I know I'd never use the actual phrase 'out of my league', it essentially means the exact same thing at the end of the day anyway so what does it matter about the terminology.

That said I would agree that as long as you were what we would consider normal or average in terms of those attributes then 'leagues' don't really come into it. But to pretend that there's no such thing as classes/leagues whatsoever is a bit naive I think.

Burial

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Come on Dragan, everyone has leagues of sorts - saying someone is out of your league is really just an elitist or ignorant way of saying 'Not my cup of tea'. It can refer to mindset, physical appearance, whatever - but we absolutely all have leagues, I know, for example, I would not want to date a woman who....let's say was morbidly obese, extremely unattractive, or whatever. Nothing wrong with that, and while I know I'd never use the actual phrase 'out of my league', it essentially means the exact same thing at the end of the day anyway so what does it matter about the terminology.

That said I would agree that as long as you were what we would consider normal or average in terms of those attributes then 'leagues' don't really come into it. But to pretend that there's no such thing as classes/leagues whatsoever is a bit naive I think.

We do have standards, not leagues. Leagues imply a social rule that a 4 has no chance with a 9, however it happens. As for the confidence part, if a woman approached you how would you act. Woman are mostly the same. Just apply the same principles...

seraphimvc

Dragan wrote: »

All the reasons listed only exist for you because you allow them to.

dont mean to merely reply to dragan but to all these responses related ''there is no leagues'' talk.

chances of a goodlooking blondie walking with a black man on the street?ever seen any smart looking expensive coat lad with a hoody+jeans girl holding hands?

status/race's league are the obvious ones.while the culture thingy also is an issue,chances of black lad walking with an caucasian girl is way higher in US/UK than here of course.chances of a doctor with a waitress?very unlikely.sadly,there is no way to solve this 'issue'.this is planet earth ;swhile for the not goodlooking enough for her league thingy,why bother,you know where to find your right hole!:D

OT:
OP please be brave on wimmin,ffs,just go and ask!if ya have tried but didnt even given a chance,that's it,end of story.stop thinking sh!te here !:P

Jack Sheehan

No such thing as a league IMO, though if there was I'd be in the conference.

Rattlehead_ie

Pretty much with Venom on this one, he speaks the truth ALOT! Admitedly yes you can see a girl and think she is amazingly beautiful / stunning or whatever, but there is no reason why you wouldnt stand a chance with her cause she out of your league. Just talk to her as if she was anyone else, no difference between her and a bloke (except the physical lay out)

kingofthecastle

its utter naievity(spelling?) for anyone to think that leagues dont exist. A good looking guy will almost certainly pair up with a good looking girl and ice versa. And as for that guy who has the great job, car, house etc but cant get a date coz he's shy while his waster mate pulls all around him, thats because it seems that women are more attracted to the "bad boys" who seem more exciting i presume, than a good reliable bloke who gets labelled "boring" and "too nice". life aint fair!

andyred

Drift wrote: »

If a girl thinks she's out of your league ...... she actually is because despite what she thinks she's divisions lower!!!QUOTE]

Ha ok....thats possibly the gayest thing I have read today!

Yea anyway I use to believe in this league thing for years but I have had that myth absolutley smashed with a hammer, those pieces locked in a box, the box wrapped with c4, given to a Palestinian sucide bomber (promised free entry to paradise for him and 100 virgins of course) and let loose in Auschwitz in 1943 which then had an atom bomb dropped on it just for good measure! Basically what I'm trying to say is that myth was shattered on me recently...twice.

The story is I used to be crazy about this girl about 3 years back and would never speak to her because I would get too shy around her but got on with her sister like a house on fire so go figure!! But I use to wonder why all her friends would always ask me if I liked her and what i thought about her etc and why I wouldnt make a move. The answer was that I didnt think there was ever a chance with her, she was out of my league (probably some self confidence issue on my behalf there too).

Anyway ended up drifting away from that group for whatever reason but bumped into the girl on holiday recently and when she said she was there with her boyfriend I was expecting to turn and see this muscle bound Adonis in a pair short shorts or something but standing there was just mr. average! She then told me later that night her friends always asked me what i thought of her cause she liked me too but was too shy herself to talk to me.....I was gutted! Actually trying to think of a good way to break the two up at the moment so any ideas please let me know. So turns out she wasnt out of my league but too late to do anything aout that one.

Second time I was at the afters of a wedding 4 weeks ago and a girl i know always went on about how pretty her brothers girlfriend was. Now I met this guy a couple of times previously and I really was'nt expecting much from his girlfriend since this guy was'nt the best looking guy in the world, a bit overweight and not the greatest dress sence. However standing at the bar at the wedding this girl walks in and walks up to the bar, she was stunning, exactly what i go for in a girl looks wise and Im thinking who's this whilst trying to catch her eye. Then I see the girls brother walk in and keep looking at him trying to see if his girlfriend is with him but there is nobody there. You probably guessed it but he walks straight to the bar and to the stunning looking girl and gives her a kiss....I was gutted! Actually trying to think of a good way to break the two up at the mome.....

....Maybe he has a massive c*ck........yea that must be it....

So going out in the last couple of weeks since then I've made a concious decision to try make an effort with any girl whether I think she is out of my league or not, some have'nt been interested and think they are out of my league alright but turns out some have been interested and I got myself a date with a cracker this Saturday.

So the morale of the story I guess is that the begining quote is pretty damn gay!


*Disclaimer - leagues do in fact exist depending on realitive attractivness*

Amazotheamazing

Leagues don't exist for guys, they do however exist for girls.

All the guys who posted that there is no such thing as leagues are downright liars if they think they don't dismiss girls as being not in their league. How many men would go out with a 20 stone woman, even if her personality was great? Most men put women they don't find attractive in a league below them, imo.

Wilba

mumhaabu wrote: »

Courage, Body Language

Hey, so just what is expected in body language? I'm also in the same position and have been trying to get this chick in my university class but whenever I want to make my move something always happens. I've also noted that not many people talk to this girl and so I want to exploit this current state;perhaps she will be pleased if somebody actually walked up to her.

Or maybe she is already taken but who knows-perhaps she isn't. Also I'm about 6"2 and have dark skin if that's anything to go by. I also tend to be shy and when people say "be interesting" well how can people try to be something they are not - i think that's a difficult thing to do. At the same time, however, I make a siginificant contribution to class discussion so perhaps I'm not too shy and most people laugh when i try to make a funny call.

I practically have run out of things to try but I'm loving this thread at the moment. A lot of useful things in here.
Cheers

LegacyUser

Yeah, it's strange that people say "you just have to be confident"

Some people by their nature just are not confident, you can't pretend to be confident, pretend to have something interesting to say, pretend to be funny.

I personally would consider myself average or below average in looks, but I don't exactly have the personality to make up for it lol.

So in my case I would say there are leagues.

Drift

andyred wrote: »

Ha ok....thats possibly the gayest thing I have read today!

I'll try to be more hetero in my future advice!

ven0m

nopersonality wrote: »

Yeah, it's strange that people say "you just have to be confident"

Some people by their nature just are not confident, you can't pretend to be confident, pretend to have something interesting to say, pretend to be funny.

I personally would consider myself average or below average in looks, but I don't exactly have the personality to make up for it lol.

So in my case I would say there are leagues.

That's an assumption that there's a standard personality requirement - the phrase horses for courses comes to mind.


The only confidence that is important to anyone is SELF-confidence, as in a belief in yourself. If you don't believe in yourself, how in the hell can you ever get anyone else to for anything in life; i.e. work etc?

Everything about human interaction is a sale of sorts; selling someone on you, whether its making new friends, getting that job from the interview you just did, passing your driving test, whatever. In one way or another you're selling something to someone, or someone ON something, & good sales comes from good marketing/PR ;-)

Thats probably oversimplifying things, but it is in essence what it comes down to.