Things people do in soaps...

Tupins

......that we don't do in reality.

This may have been posted before but...

I've noticed that there are a few repeatedly occuring things in soaps that just don't happen in real life. ok obviously most if it doesn't but I mean things that you see in soaps all the time that seem normal but when you think about them they aren't really.

And by soaps I mean the british ones, not like Days of our Lives or any of the american rubbish with long lost evil twins etc.

Eg.

People in soaps rarely use phones to speak to people, they always physically call to someone's house / workplace to tell them something. eg. ' I just popped round to tell you that I'll meet you in the rovers after work' - you'd totally just text or phone that one!

When packing suitcases, people always bring the suitcase and all their clothes down to the living room and pack there rather than in the bedroom. Ok I know it's probably because they don't have a bedroom set but it's just weird and wouldn't happen in real life!

People are constantly asking other people to 'have a word' with someone else on their behalf. That rarely happens in reality.


anyone notice any other 'soap realities' that just don't happen in real life??

Mr E

People seem to go to the pub every day for lunch, and every night...

Elphaba

When people are on the phone they never say bye to each other, just hang up. How rude!

Elphaba

Oh and the baby cry that they always play whenever a kid is suppose to be upset - Why is it always the exact same one? It must be the same since 1984, I can actually hear it in my head now I've heard it so much! Slightly off the point there, sorry!

Tupins

Also, people always get up early at weekends - talking about what they're going to do on their 'day off' to their house mate / OH who is about to leave the house for work. Not only that but they always are fully dressed and have full make up on (the women obv) before coming downstairs for breakfast.

Pigletlover

Marry someone after going out with them for a week, like Roxie and Sean or Peggy and her new fella.

gogglebok

Brilliant thread. So true about the suitcases, and waking up in full make-up.

How about people never checking their change in shops or pubs.

gogglebok

Another one. One person is always on the verge of telling something vital to another person, but something the second person says changes their mind.

For example, X has seen Y's girlfriend snogging another guy.

X: I've got to tell you something! It's about Carly!

Y: Speaking of Carly, I've just asked her to be my wife and she's said yes! Isn't that fantastic? Now, what's this thing you wanted to tell me?

X: Em, nothing.

Tupins

Ha ha, that always happens.

But what I love though is the way that most people if they have a problem with someone else will just come out and say it. People are always having arguments - but it always clears the air. and people will always acknowledge the fact that they've had blazing rows eg. " I know you and I have had our arguments in the past" - it's so honest, I love it!!!

danh789

Or have you ever noticed how, using a holiday as an example, someone might go to collect their loved one at the airport. Then the next clip you see is of them walking in the front door of their house and the person will ask: How was you holiday?
So what the hell where they talking about the whole way home in the car!!

RichMc70

or how about the fact that everyone in eastenders

• does their washing in the laundrette (have they not heard it's the 21st century, washing machines for houses have been invented)
• and they'll always head to the cafe for breakfast (do none of the lazy fecks ever cook at home)
• goes to the Vic to celebrate weddings, engagements, funerals, birthdays, stag nights, hen nights, family reunions, leaving parties and any other minor event (let's face it the Vic should be called 'The Kip', who in their right mind would celebrate anything there)

Larianne

They hardly ever finish their drinks in the pub!! (unless someone else is buying!) Nothing could be that important?!!:)

Loveless

gogglebok wrote: »

How about people never checking their change in shops or pubs.

Have you ever noticed in Coronation Street they always seem to have the exact amount to hand to the barmaid. It's rare to see someone getting change back in that pub!

Pigletlover

Has anyone else ever wondered where everyone sleeps in the Slater's house? Or in the Vic? How many bedrooms can one tiny house have?

Tupins

Thought of a few more (I'm obsessed!)

- The morning after two people sleep together, the woman always emerges wearing a shirt belonging to the man which is conveniently just long enough to cover any naughty bits but short enough to be sexy!

- pregnant women always stand / waddle with their hands on the small of their backs, even when their bumps are still quite small.

- people go to night clubs really early, like when it's still bright outside. They do in Eastenders anyway!

Hardrain

People in Albert Square who have a meeting in "The City" and are back in the Vic for a lunchtime pint, leave your house after breakfeast, catch the tube or even drive to the heart of London and be back for a pint and carry on your secret affair in Thr Vic!?!?!

Most of the houses in the Square are 3 bedroomed, it's near a tube station, market, so renting or buying would be very costly yet people with low paying or even no jobs can still afford to live there!

Another soap rule is when someone's hubby,wife dies they are over it in 6 months and married again:rolleyes:

Home And Away has a huge amount of orphans or people turning up with a old photo saying it's their 'Mum' An unnatural amount of orphans ,long lost kids, turn up in the Diner:rolleyes:

lucylu

-taxi's are never paid for
and when dialling on a phone the person is always on the other end to -answer as soon as the number is dialled
-everyone drinks at lunchtime and after work.
-There is never a queue of more than 1 in a shop

Tupins

Hardrain wrote: »

Most of the houses in the Square are 3 bedroomed, it's near a tube station, market, so renting or buying would be very costly yet people with low paying or even no jobs can still afford to live there!

And when a new character arrives, a flat or room always conveniently becomes available right on the square!

Toto Wolfcastle

When characters arrange to meet over the phone they never say what time they are going to meet at. That has always annoyed me!

gogglebok

Soap characters always propose in public.

gogglebok

lucylu wrote: »

and when dialling on a phone the person is always on the other end to answer as soon as the number is dialled

Very true, and the same goes for answering machines. Dial number, wait .005 of a second, leave message. What happened to "Hi, this is Niamh, I'm redesigning my hair right now but if you leave a message after the purr I'll be back to you as soon as possible..."?

**Caroline**

Here's some...

• They're never seen to go to the bank/atm machine to take out money - how have they got all that cash???

• They never sit down to watch the soaps like in real life!!

• When there's an absolute psycho living in the neighbourhood, they don't notice anything weird until the very last minute and then the police catch them!!

• That brings me onto my next one - the bad guy always either gets caught or else dies

• It's normal for characters to have a gazillion partners - each relationship coming to a different end i.e. one boyfriend commits suicide, then the next cheats, then the next dies in an accident, the next goes to jail etc etc...

• A character is suddenly played by another actor/actress who looks completely different to the last - very confusing for viewers!!! lol

I'm sure there's loads more too................ haha!!

carlson

The way when someone is on the phone to some undesirable person and they are kind of shouting at them and then hang up and then another person walks into the room and says 'who was on the phone?' and then person stutters 'eh no one... er it was a wrong number'

jos28

Soap characters can buy and sell houses and businesses within a week. They just hand over the keys, no solicitors fees, no surveys, no waiting for loan approval.

fakefurbabe

People order drinks in the local and either A) don't pay for them (take drink and sit down) or leave a full drink untouched and storm out of the bar when someone annoys them - that really annoys me!!!

gogglebok

fakefurbabe wrote: »

People order drinks in the local and either A) don't pay for them (take drink and sit down) or leave a full drink untouched and storm out of the bar when someone annoys them - that really annoys me!!!

They do that all the time in Emmerdale. In Fair City, people buy bottles of wine in the pub to take away. Why would you? Why not buy a crate for the same price in Tescos? You wouldn't have to drink Sideshow Bob's Satanic Bulgarian Paint-stripper either.

duridian

I think the strangest drink related soap behaviour is when they order a pint of "beer" or a "lager", that is all the info they give, yet the bartender magically knows which brand they wanted.

Toto Wolfcastle

duridian wrote: »

I think the strangest drink related soap behaviour is when they order a pint of "beer" or a "lager", that is all the info they give, yet the bartender magically knows which brand they wanted.

Yeah that annoys me too!

I probably need to get out more.

carlson

In coronation street they used to always ask Rita in the cabin for a 'bar of chocolate' or a 'box of chocolates'

Also I hate when they have a brother or sister (actually they do this in all programmes really) they call them bro or sis or say how is my fantastic looking sister in law (for example) just in casae it slips past the audience who they are.

Posy

People walk into a busy shop/cafe* etc to be greeted by the (lone) worker:
"I've just had a call from Katy's school, she's been rushed to hospital after a freak trampoline accident! Can you mind the caff?!" "Eh, but I've never..." (Other person rushes out door) Upon the person's return several hours later (usually with a child who has their arm in a sling) the business is running smoothly and the veritable stranger they've asked to mind the place hasn't done a runner with all the money from the cash register.

*also applicable to market stalls and launderettes

duridian

lucylu wrote: »

-taxi's are never paid for...

Oddlly enough this has come to be the cause of Lana's murder in Fair City.

didikeys

Pregnant women always drink orange juice in the pub - there are plenty of other non alcoholic drinks to have!!!!!

Posy

Dinners

Scenario A: A couple will go into a nice restaurant to have dinner. While waiting for the order to arrive they will begin to bicker. When the waiter/waitress comes over with their expensive meals, the woman will immediately push her plate away and say scathingly "I appear to have lost my appetite" while the man looks apologetic and uncomfortable.

Scenario B: A couple go into the local to have lunch. When waiting for their food they'll have a row. The server will come over to where they are seated and place two big steaming pub lunches on the table, at which point the woman will storm out. The man will call her name, throw a couple of notes on the table and run out after her leaving a LOT of food going to waste.

Tupins

When people in soaps decide to 'leave' eg. leave their partner or homes - they just decide to leave and they're gone an hour later.
There's no making arrangements, giving notice at work or anything like that. And they always go to stay with a 'friend' who has so far never been mentioned!

If only life were that simple.....

Plus, how come so few people in soaps own cars????

duridian

Tupins wrote: »

...Plus, how come so few people in soaps own cars????

Probably because as props go they are large to store, also quite expensive and you can't just have everyone driving about in 50 quid deathtraps, that wouldn't seem realistic.

RichMc70

Tupins wrote: »

Plus, how come so few people in soaps own cars????

Who need's a car when
you work on the same street/square that you live
all your family and friends live on the same street/square
you only shop in stores on the same street/square
you only go to nightclubs that are on the same street/square
and finally you go boozing in the pub 7 days a week every lunchtime and evening that......yes you....guessed it.... is on the same street/square

Who would need a car under these circumstances ? (sorry, other than the taxi company that is based again on the same street/square)

Maybe this is the answer Gormless Gormley and the Greens are looking for. Everyone in Ireland should be restricted to working, shopping and socialising in area less than 0.5km square from their home and therefore no cars, motorbikes, buses etc. and 90% reduction in household electricity use as everyone eats in one cafe/restaurant or drinks in one pub.

Tupins

Sounds good to me - I'd love to have the Rovers as my local. there'd never be a dull moment!!

Posy

A new government initiative; I like it!

Sharpshooter

What bugs me is when new characters come into a soap,
Ronnie and Roxy for example in Eastenders and within 5 minuets they are talking to people as if they have been there for years, wouldn't happen in real life at all.

Posy

It's amazing the memory these people have. Within a few days of working in the Vic, a new barmaid can remember the names of all the regulars, know all their drinks ('I'll have the usual..) and (like SharpShooter said) is either close personal friends or mortal enemies with the majority of them.
I suppose the bonding process is speeded up since a lot of them will have been murdered/left in a taxi/died tragically/emigrated within a few months.

Sharpshooter

The Actress Sue Jenkins,Played Jimmy Corkhill's wife in Brookie , follows Val home from Spain in Emmerdale and Pollard fails to recognoise that she used to work behind the bar in the woolpack , her name was Gloria and he had slept with her. She left him and broke his heart.
l hate when they do that , why not just get a different actress.:rolleyes:

duridian

sharpshooterH wrote: »

What bugs me is when new characters come into a soap,
Ronnie and Roxy for example in Eastenders and within 5 minuets they are talking to people as if they have been there for years, wouldn't happen in real life at all.

I know what you mean.
Hilarious the way Peggy says to them; "'oo the 'ell are you?", at around 6 o'clock, and by 6.15 it's; "I'm off on me 'olliers, 'ere's the keys to the Vic, girls."
Likewise Danielle pops up, like the Meteor genie, and two minutes later Stacey has her running the stall, and in charge of the animal print money belt.

Sharpshooter

duridian wrote: »

I know what you mean.
Hilarious the way Peggy says to them; "'oo the 'ell are you?", at around 6 o'clock, and by 6.15 it's; "I'm off on me 'olliers, 'ere's the keys to the Vic, girls."
Likewise Danielle pops up, like the Meteor genie, and two minutes later Stacey has her running the stall, and in charge of the animal print money belt.

Animal print money belt , :D:D:D
Great attention to detail.:pac:

marie_85

duridian wrote:

I think the strangest drink related soap behaviour is when they order a pint of "beer" or a "lager", that is all the info they give, yet the bartender magically knows which brand they wanted.

The only time I've ever seen a character name a drink was in Coronation Street and Nick Tilsley asked for 'Stellarberg' or some other ridiculous sounding composite name.

Harry Hill ripped the p*ss out of it that weekend and I don't think they've done it since.

Sharpshooter

Caderyn wrote: »

It's amazing the memory these people have. Within a few days of working in the Vic, a new barmaid can remember the names of all the regulars, know all their drinks ('I'll have the usual..) and (like SharpShooter said) is either close personal friends or mortal enemies with the majority of them.
I suppose the bonding process is speeded up since a lot of them will have been murdered/left in a taxi/died tragically/emigrated within a few months.

l bet they dread it , reading the script and out pops TAXI , at least they know they are not getting killed off.:D

babi-hrse

duridian wrote: »

Oddlly enough this has come to be the cause of Lana's murder in Fair City.

what she didn't pay?

Sharpshooter

babi-hrse wrote: »

what she didn't pay?

Seem's that's all it takes in soapland.:D
We shall wait and see.:pac:

Posy

sharpshooterH wrote: »

l bet they dread it , reading the script and out pops TAXI , at least they know they are not getting killed off.:D

Hehe, true.

Billy- Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Honey- Blah blahblah blahblah blah!!
Billy- Blah blah blah.
Honey- Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Honey blah blah TAXI blah blah

Emma Barton: "Oh crap.." :eek:

Sharpshooter

Caderyn wrote: »

Hehe, true.

Billy- Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Honey- Blah blahblah blahblah blah!!
Billy- Blah blah blah.
Honey- Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Honey blah blah TAXI blah blah

Emma Barton: "Oh crap.." :eek:

Wellard : Grrr.:D

marti101

You always know when someones preggers they stop drinking straight away.They have unlimited relatives so if something happens another one pops out of the woodwork.If they are having an affair they always choose a where you are guarenteed to be found out.And another thing that bugs me is when Billy couldnt find work in the square he did a dodgy job with jase rather than get the tube and look for another job outside the square.Also Honey is way to good for Billy theres no way she would go for him in real life.

Posy

marti101 wrote: »

Billy couldnt find work in the square he did a dodgy job with jase rather than get the tube and look for another job outside the square.

OUTSIDE the square? Dear God, what are you suggesting!!? :eek: