A new baby! "Mother and child are doing well!"

faceman

Ever get those emails in work or texts from friends/relations? I got one today. Very happy for the mother and child.

But it got me thinking about the Da. I only met him once, seemed like a nice guy. But is he ok? I mean the email didnt say the Da was fine. Im slightly concerned. Maybe the whole affair has put him off looking at this wife in a naughty way forvever. maybe she called him names during labour.

I think we should be concerned for the Da's. I replied to the email saying, "jaysus, is the Da alright?"

Steve_o

Its physically stressful for both mother and child...not the Da...

seamus

Yes, because standing around drinking coffee and reading magazines is so strenuous on the body

javaboy

Damn sexist wimmins.

http://www.mikull.com/message-board/viewtopic.php?t=1759

t'internet wrote:

Man faints, dies after seeing wife's epidural

News Edition: 07/10/2005
LOS ANGELES - A California woman is suing a hospital for wrongful death because her husband fainted and suffered a fatal injury after helping delivery room staff give her a pain-killing injection.

Jeanette Passalaqua, 32, filed the suit against Kaiser Foundation Hospitals and Southern California Permanente Medical Group Inc. in San Bernardino County state court last week.

In June 2004, Passalaqua’s husband, Steven Passalaqua, was asked by Kaiser staff to hold and steady his wife while an employee inserted an epidural needle into her back, court papers said.

The sight of the needle caused Steven Passalaqua, 33, to faint and he fell backward, striking his head on an aluminum cap molding at the base of the wall.

Jeanette Passalaqua delivered the couple’s second child, a boy, later that day. Steven Passalaqua, however, suffered a brain hemorrhage as a result of his fall and died two days later, the lawsuit said.

The suit seeks unspecified damages related to Steven Passalaqua’s death and to Jeanette Passalaqua’s emotional distress at being widowed with two young children.

Because Passalaqua was solicited by Kaiser to assist in the epidural, the lawsuit said, the hospital “owed him a duty to exercise reasonable care to prevent foreseeable injuries resulting from his participation.”

A spokesman for Oakland, California-based Kaiser Permanente called the death “a tragic accident.”

“Some of the allegations in the lawsuit are simply that --allegations. The legal process is under way and we should respect that,” said Kaiser spokesman Jim Anderson.

Dyr

When I had to send out one of those "congratulations" emails I said something like "both mother and baby are now operating within acceptable parameters".

stovelid

The Da is no doubt in the corner thanking Jesus that he only had to watch and not actually do it.

Dyr

Watch?

Steve_o

Bambi wrote: »

When I had to send out one of those "congratulations" emails I said something like "both mother and baby are now operating within acceptable parameters".

Note to self, stop Data from sending 'congratulations' emails...:cool:

PurpleBerry

Don't worry, the Da's fine, he's off smoking a Cuban.

Whether you take this to mean "he has a cigar in his mouth" or that "he's setting fire to latinos" depends on your own unique viewpoint...

stovelid

Bambi wrote: »

Watch?

...the birth.

eveie

funny you should mention this, when i was about 15 a cousin of mine had a baby and my mother was buying her and the baby a present, i said "what about james" (the dad) even got my mother thinking.
obvioulsy the mother goes through a lot more but surely the dad deserves some credit, after all he did put the bun in the oven

Dyr

stovelid wrote: »

...the birth.

Why on earth would you watch that?

stovelid

Bambi wrote: »

Why on earth would you watch that?

I felt some residual loyalty to your mother after our slip-up.

faceman

Us men are caring and sensitive. I cried one time at a movie you know.

My biological clock is set to go off around Valentines 2016.
If by then they still haven't the means for me to offload the birthing responsibilty onto the stronger sex.
I'm going to design a torture bonding contraption, that will allow the father to share in the expierence.
Via several hundred thousand electrodes attached to the nerve endings in his nethers.

Then I will have no problem with the thanks going all around.

javaboy

faceman wrote: »

Us men are caring and sensitive. I cried one time at a movie you know.

Was it Epic Movie? I cried when I rented that out from Xtravision. It wasn't my choice but I was the one forking over the money and there's a permanent record of it on my account now. Hence the tears.

faceman

Moonbaby wrote: »

My biological clock is set to go off around Valentines 2016.
If by then they still haven't the means for me to offload the birthing responsibilty onto the stronger sex.
I'm going to design a torture bonding contraption, that will allow the father to share in the expierence.
Via several hundred thousand electrodes attached to the nerve endings in his nethers.

Then I will have no problem with the thanks going all around.

ehhhh

(a) here is a pot of boiling water
(b) here is a bunny
(c) insert (b) into (a)

Ginny

Moonbaby wrote: »

My biological clock is set to go off around Valentines 2016.
If by then they still haven't the means for me to offload the birthing responsibilty onto the stronger sex.
I'm going to design a torture bonding contraption, that will allow the father to share in the expierence.
Via several hundred thousand electrodes attached to the nerve endings in his nethers.

Then I will have no problem with the thanks going all around.

Let me know if you need some electrodes, I'm sure i have some knocking around here..

faceman

faceman wrote: »

ehhhh



(a) here is a pot of boiling water

(b) here is a bunny

(c) insert (b) into (a)

Your avatar is hot. ~licks screen~

GinnyJo

GinnyJo wrote: »

Let me know if you need some electrodes, I'm sure i have some knocking around here..

You don't need to buy my affection to get your hands on one. I'll be launching a campaign to make them standard delivery room issue.

WindSock

Who cares about the person that didnt have to push another person through their reproductive chute.

taidghbaby

moonbaby has some issues with the menfolk me thinks

javaboy

WindSock wrote: »

Who cares about the person that didnt have to push another person through their reproductive chute.

They did push them through though. In fact they pushed out millions and millions of the little critters. One of them crash lands into a spare egg and the wimmin cooks it for a while. It's not our fault our labour is a lot shorter and more enjoyable than wimmin's.

boneless

But... does all this mean the stork doesn't bring babies?

javaboy

boneless wrote: »

But... does all this mean the stork doesn't bring babies?

Well you could use Stork as a lubricant which might aid the whole babymaking process I suppose but it's not really necessary.

javaboy

javaboy wrote: »

They did push them through though. In fact they pushed out millions and millions of the little critters. One of them crash lands into a spare egg and the wimmin cooks it for a while. It's not our fault our labour is a lot shorter and more enjoyable than wimmin's.

Course not, that is why I am going to offer mankind the opportunity to partcipate in a meaningful birthing process.

WindSock

javaboy wrote: »

They did push them through though. In fact they pushed out millions and millions of the little critters. One of them crash lands into a spare egg and the wimmin cooks it for a while. It's not our fault our labour is a lot shorter and more enjoyable than wimmin's.

Do you push sperm out? Anyways sperm are not hoomans, dey're sperms.

javaboy

WindSock wrote: »

Do you push sperm out?

The odd time yes.

Anyways sperm are not hoomans, dey're sperms.

Life begins at spermatogenesis! AFAIK wimmins just provide a shell to protect the hooman from the dangers of the womb. I could check my junior cert science book but I'm fairly sure of myself here.

Carsinian Thau

Bambi wrote: »

When I had to send out one of those "congratulations" emails I said something like "both mother and baby are now operating within acceptable parameters".

If a doctor said something like that I wonder how much trouble would they be in?

Carsinian Thau

javaboy wrote: »

Life begins at spermatogenesis! AFAIK wimmins just provide a shell to protect the hooman from the dangers of the womb. I could check my junior cert science book but I'm fairly sure of myself here.

Sounds about right. But you left out that the wimmins also provide food and warmth as well as the shell for the hooman.
Junior cert science book is too technical. I've a pop up book from junior infants that will provide all the answers.

Moonbaby

Moonbaby wrote: »

My biological clock is set to go off around Valentines 2016.
If by then they still haven't the means for me to offload the birthing responsibilty onto the stronger sex.
I'm going to design a torture bonding contraption, that will allow the father to share in the expierence.
Via several hundred thousand electrodes attached to the nerve endings in his nethers.

Then I will have no problem with the thanks going all around.

LMFAO Brilliant idea!

WindSock

javaboy wrote: »

The odd time yes.

Heh. I thought it just popped out of it's own accord.

Life begins at spermatogenesis! AFAIK wimmins just provide a shell to protect the hooman from the dangers of the womb. I could check my junior cert science book but I'm fairly sure of myself here.

Ah you probably are right. If you are talking about 'Science for the Future' then I was permanantly stuck on the page with the boneless man in the glass.

javaboy

WindSock wrote: »

Heh. I thought it just popped out of it's own accord.

Well some men do have that ability (the misnamed 'premature ejaculation'). The guys you've been with were obviously gifted.

For the rest of us unlucky blighters, it has to be coaxed out with a vigorous shaking motion.

WindSock

Heh, what I mean is you wouldn't necessarily ''push'' it out yourself like you are taking a whizz. You meant that you push and pull it out with your hand, sort of. Innit?

javaboy

WindSock wrote: »

Heh, what I mean is you wouldn't necessarily ''push'' it out yourself like you are taking a whizz. You meant that you push and pull it out with your hand, sort of. Innit?

Ah we're getting a bit technical now. Basically the willy in question must be eh.... primed like a pump. If this is done correctly for long enough, then the pressure will be sufficient that the hand can be withdrawn at just the right time. The em.... pump will then push out baby gravy with no further hand assistance so I guess it's kind of like taking a whizz.*

This is all just semantics really. Push it. Pull it. Twist it. Flick it. Bop it. It's all good.




*Why do we say "take" a whizz/dump anyway? I prefer to say "Excuse me. Where is your bathroom? I need to leave a dump." Although I never get invited back to people's houses.

WindSock

Ya it's getting a bit technical but what I am trying to say is, Pushing a baby out of a gash deserves more applaud than er...pushing sperms out through the eye of a purple headed womb broom.

phasers

In fairness, the da had to put up with living with a crazy fat bird for 9 months, so I think he deserves some kind of recognition

Firetrap

After my younger sibling was born, my da said to my ma "I'm never going to go through that again". Presumably he meant being stuck in the waiting room drinking awful coffee and reading 10 year old copies of the Messenger (it was the 70s when daddies didn't visit the labour ward). He was true to his word too - no more kids were forthcoming. Well, not from my ma anyway

Dave147

javaboy wrote: »

Was it Epic Movie? I cried when I rented that out from Xtravision. It wasn't my choice but I was the one forking over the money and there's a permanent record of it on my account now. Hence the tears.

The Snakes on a plane parody was hilarious though, gave me high hopes, it just went way down after that.

/off topic

barnacle

Steve_o wrote: »

Its physically stressful for both mother and child...not the Da...

Puhlease... all those hopes and dreams flashing before your eyes... no more golf holidays without worry... bye bye Porshe... hello reasonably priced family car, hello nappies, hello peep & poop.

And what if you don't like the Ma anymore. You just know your going to be talking to her for the rest of your life.

More stressful for the Da.

ChewChew

anyone that I have known that has had a baby does not get a gift from me for the baby. when I visit to see the child for the first time, I will bring a gift for the mother which is usually something comforting like pj's and dressing gown and/or a voucher to go have a facial. a bottle of whiskey for the Da. the child has done nowt but arrive, cry untill its fed, soil itself and then sleep. Babies dont get gifts from me till chirstening time.

ronbyrne2005

This giving birth being hard is female sympathy seeking. The body produces adequte natural pain relief and hormones to dilate the birth canal. Now they have this pain killing injections too and near painless C-sections. Boo hoo, god love ya's.

faceman

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

This giving birth being hard is female sympathy seeking. The body produces adequte natural pain relief and hormones to dilate the birth canal. Now they have this pain killing injections too and near painless C-sections. Boo hoo, god love ya's.

Uh oh...

javaboy

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

This giving birth being hard is female sympathy seeking. The body produces adequte natural pain relief and hormones to dilate the birth canal. Now they have this pain killing injections too and near painless C-sections. Boo hoo, god love ya's.

Can a mod please move this to TLL? The carnage would be brethataking.

Jesus Wept

Steve_o wrote: »

Its physically stressful for both mother and child...not the Da...

Emotional stress often translates into physical stress.

I'm pretty sure I'd feel very physically stressed if the woman I love was giving birth to our baby.
Aside from the intensity of the moment and concerns for the future, I imagine the concerns for both their safety would be prominent.

Still, I wouldn't be dilated, but you get the picture.

takola

The-Rigger wrote: »

Emotional stress often translates into physical stress.

I'm pretty sure I'd feel very physically stressed if the woman I love was giving birth to our baby.
Aside from the intensity of the moment and concerns for the future, I imagine the concerns for both their safety would be prominent.

Still, I wouldn't be dilated, but you get the picture.

Well said.

Redpunto

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

This giving birth being hard is female sympathy seeking. The body produces adequte natural pain relief and hormones to dilate the birth canal. Now they have this pain killing injections too and near painless C-sections. Boo hoo, god love ya's.

Push a watermelon up your penis and then we'll talk:D

GirlInterrupted

eveie wrote: »

funny you should mention this, when i was about 15 a cousin of mine had a baby and my mother was buying her and the baby a present, i said "what about james" (the dad) even got my mother thinking.
obvioulsy the mother goes through a lot more but surely the dad deserves some credit, after all he did put the bun in the oven

Good grief, surely you can't be suggesting that men need to be congratulated for having sex?

Don't they already congratulate themselves enough for that?

taidghbaby

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Good grief, surely you can't be suggesting that men need to be congratulated for having sex?

Don't they already congratulate themselves enough for that?

no, no.....your mixing up sex with scoring a goal!!

GirlInterrupted

taidghbaby wrote: »

no, no.....your mixing up sex with scoring a goal!!

I always thought men considered the two interchangeable, and equally pleasureable.....maybe only for the good players though:D.

KnifeWRENCH

I think people should stop having children. They're irritating little fcukers.
Why bother celebrating, or even acknowledging the birth? It's a person, big whoop. There's already enough people in this world.

"Mother and baby are doing fine" - good. Let's see how Mother is when baby learns to talk and throw tantrums.

/rant