Too much exam pressure...

HouseHippo

Lots of my friends got their results today.....
My grandparents turned around and said they expect me to get 8 A1's.
I tried to explain how hard this is, especially because im doing a portfolio and my school is dire. Teachers always out etc.
They hold it against me because I didn't study during july cause I was going to gigs etc. I studied in June and this month aswell as working on portfolio.
They said that next year I'm not allowed see my bf or friends.I'm sick of them trying to control me..... they verbally abuse me, constantly make me feel like im not good enough,I'm doing all honours subjects and get a-b grades, I dont understand what they expect of me im not a superhero.

Karen_*

Well its very realistic of them to expect you to get all A1's. Are they definately not joking?

Leave loads of exam stress literature around for them to read. There is loads of it in the newspapers around this time. Of course you cant live up to their expectations of straight A1's. And from what you say your marks are brilliant anyway. Figure out the points you need for what you want to do and inform them that thats your target and it isn't A1's.

My son did awful in his summer tests and when he was sitting around bored and moaning I did sarcastically mention that he might pick up a book but its not that I seriously expected him to study the summer away.

Overheal

Happy Homes Beget Happy Minds.

I'd get to the bottom of the verbal abuse. I imagine its hard to focus on anything with that going on. I had a lot of that in my Leaving Cert year so when that didn't work and I repeated I got a very wide lattitude at home and my grades ended up going up by a lot.

hayley_2008

HouseHippo wrote: »

they expect me to get 8 A1's.
I tried to explain how hard this is, especially because im doing a portfolio and my school is dire. Teachers always out etc.

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

chuckles30

hayley - given what the op said about the school being dire and teachers being out, it looks like the op is already putting in a lot of hard work to achieve a/b grades. How many students do you know who study in June and August - not too many that I know.

OP - It sounds like you're putting in a lot of effort, but you need to be able to relax as well. Is there anyone else in your family that you could ask to have a word with your grandparents about easing up on the pressure? If they're like this during the summer holidays, I dread to think what they'll be like come the school term. I can understand them wanting you to do your best, but there's a right way and a wrong way to encourage people and right now, they're going the wrong way about it.

Karen_*

The OP is a young girl and will grown up in her own good time and is already putting alot of work into her grades as reflected in the A's and B's that she's getting. Parents and grandparents can put far too much pressure and emphasis on the results. And its not needed when the exams themselves are extremely stressful.

barbiegirl

Have to dis-agree with Hayley 2008 hugely!!!!!! This kid is studying ALL honours subjects, getting A's and B's, has studied in June and this month. Doing more than enough. She needs space and a life. You must see your friends and bf throughout the year. This can be limited, I had a nine pm curfew extended to 10pm at the weekend, and I was only allowed out on Wednesday evening during the week. It worked I got a good leaving cert, and more importantly I developed as a person, so that when I turned 18, (which was a while ago now) I knoew how to be an adult and to interact with people, signs being that I now earn a 6 figure salary.
Your grandparents have to realise that next year you will be an adult in the adult world, sit down and explain that you wish to talk to them as adults, agree a compromise, show them as someone else suggested the courses you wish to apply for, the point requirements etc. If it is necessary bring another trusted adult into the discussion. If you are livung with your gp I assume they are your guardians and you do not want to isolate them. You need to work on repairing the relationship and moving forward. How you are in their care is probably affecting how they are acting towards you too.
If none of thsi is possible, then develop your own mantra that you can only do your best, and ignore everything else they say, and just respond wih this everytime they say something to you. Develop your own little bubble and live in it for the next year cause then you will be out from under this and moving forward with your life. You must protect yourself and your confidence, try to understand where they are coming from but make your own decisions and stick to them.
Good luck and stay on boards when things get tough people will help you.
My kid brother got 380 today, 40 over his target for Arts UCD and he is delighted as are we all. But if he'd only got 180 we'd be happy cause he did his best.

Overheal

I agree with Chuckles (what a great name) maybe a school counsellor? your parish priest? Family Friend?

hayley_2008

chuckles30 wrote: »

hayley - given what the op said about the school being dire and teachers being out, it looks like the op is already putting in a lot of hard work to achieve a/b grades. How many students do you know who study in June and August - not too many that I know.

Actually i knew quite a few, they are now in college studying towards Law & Medicine degrees. By not revising your work in June & August you are losing out to other students who ARE revising.

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances. :eek:

LeixlipRed

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

That is a ridiculous post. The exam pressure on kids doing the LC is enough without you, a complete stranger, adding to it. A child should never be studying during the summer holidays firstly. Secondly, you need to sit down with your parents and explain to them the pressure they're putting on you. Perhaps they don't realise they are doing so. And it's entirely possible for anyone with half a brain to go to college and get a good degree. So final word of advice, relax, the LC is certainly not something you should ruin your life over.

LeixlipRed

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances.

What, just look moving your hand is one of the most important skills in writing?? :rolleyes: If you've no positive advice to give to the OP bar stating the obvious and heaping piles of pressure on the poor child than perhaps you should stay quiet.

Overheal

I try and tell this to the kids in the LC forum during crunch times: they gotta learn how to unwind for a little bit each day. Study sure but you cant be boxed up and strapped to a book for 3 months. Its been scientifically proven that your brain will melt and leak out of your nose.

LeixlipRed

Overheal wrote: »

Its been scientifically proven that your brain will melt and leak out of your nose.

Tis fatal I tell ya

hayley_2008

LeixlipRed wrote: »

So final word of advice, relax, the LC is certainly not something you should ruin your life over.

I dont appreciate my post being labelled as ridiculous, please show some manners.

I believe you are dramatising this post, "ruin her life over", she knows her life wont be ruined, its natural for LC kids to feel pressure, it has been shown that stress & being a bit nervous before LC or big exams actually helps you! Go ahead & google it up! im not a liar!

meglome

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Actually i knew quite a few, they are now in college studying towards Law & Medicine degrees. By not revising your work in June & August you are losing out to other students who ARE revising.

Revising is one of the most important skills in effective studying. Let two months slip by without revising essential material & you are seriously jepordising your chances. :eek:

I didn't know anyone who did this. Half the friends I had at the time have their own businesses so it obviously didn't effect them at all. Most of the other half are very good/successful at what they do.

Yes you need plenty of points to be a doctor or lawyer but this assumes it's what the OP actually wants and not what her family wants. At the end of the day you've got to be true to yourself and do what's right for you. If that goes against what your family expect of you then so be it.

Karen_*

Hayley while "grow up" is not a very constructive or indeed mature response I do appreciate that you are trying to advise the OP that her grandparents have her best interests in mind and also the benefit of having a 'headstart' over others by revising as much as she can.

Her grades are really good though and I think the point the OP is trying to make is that she's feeling very pressurised and like she can never be good enough. How should she convey this respectfully to her grandparents? Because she is a person who's obviously worked very hard but she needs to be cut some slack. they do seem to be issuing threats and she's feeling picked on.

Jack Sheehan

What do you want to do in college/ third level? Is it very high points? Even so you can't study during the summer surely? If you have put in the work last year you wont have any trouble as long as you keep that up, I should know, I didn't do the work last year.

In any case your grandparents putting you down all the time is not going to help you one bit. As for the idea that you wouldn't be able to see your friends/boyfriend, that is patently ridiculous. Everyone needs time to unwind and believe it or not, the LC isn't the most important thing in the universe. What if you get 600 points but are miserable? what good does it do you then?

HouseHippo

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

I go to school in Walkinstown, a disadvantaged school with no money.My art teacher was out all year. We had 4 different biology teachers in one year. They dont offer technonolgy, classical studies physics or Spanish cause they have no teachers.
I study for 3 hours every day during the school year, I never go out.I went 18 and haven't been to the pub once. I also work to help my grandparents out with money cause they have to look after me. Im an A-b STUDENT doing all higher exc Irish.....

Thats not what id call a bad attitude

Overheal

Sounds like youre just high strung. you need to de-stressify a bit before your exams. Plan a day off to go do something. Head into dublin, go spend the day in bed with your boyfriend: anything non-academic if only for a day just to remind you one day there will be more to life than school

HouseHippo

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I dont appreciate my post being labelled as ridiculous, please show some manners.

I believe you are dramatising this post, "ruin her life over", she knows her life wont be ruined, its natural for LC kids to feel pressure, it has been shown that stress & being a bit nervous before LC or big exams actually helps you! Go ahead & google it up! im not a liar!

I suffer from an anxiety disorder and also have ADD which makes studying extremely difficult.
I spent a month out of school with stress, I had baically a nervous breakdown as my art teacher left at the start of the year, I want to go to art college to be an art teacher.
HAlfway through the year when I had most of my portfolio done, i found out that my school neglected to inform me that NCAD had released a new Potfolio Brief meaning all my hard work was wasted. I also had my mothers death to deal with in September of the school year

HouseHippo

Also if you would bother to read this thread properly I studied DURING june and August. I took July off but continued to work on my portfolio

HouseHippo

The points are 345 for NCAD with a portfolio
Or 545 for the couse in Trinity.
I also did a part time Dj course in pulse but I paid for that

hayley_2008

HouseHippo wrote: »

Also if you would bother to read this thread properly I studied DURING june and August. I took July off but continued to work on my portfolio

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

dan_d

There's a very important point that you have to remember.The leaving cert is DESIGNED to be sat and passed in 2 ACADEMIC years.And 3 for those who do TY.It DOES NOT include revision during the summer.Because it is NOT necessary.Go out and enjoy your life. For heaven's sake you are doing yourself no favours whatsoever by revising in the summer, to please your grandparents.I did all honours everything, and furthermore I was not working on a portfolio for any subject at the same time,which I know is time consuming.If you were having problems,maybe I could understand this, but you are obviously extremely bright.At the end of it, all that matters is that you get what you want in college.Nobody is going to ask you in ten or even 5 years time, how many A1's you got in your LC.Truth be told, nobody is going to even ask you how many points you got. If you want to do medicine or something, and you feel it might be beneficial to do a bit of revision now, then go for it, but to be honest, you'll have plenty of time for that next year.This is your last summer before you go into college and have to start worrying about whether or not you passed enough exams to get into your next year,and consider the possibility of repeating!!please enjoy it.

HouseHippo

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Seems like you are making quite a few excuses even in this post, so in a way i dont blame your grandparents for being frustrated with your attitude.
You need to grow up & appreciate that your grandparents want you to do your best, by pushing you towards for the best scores.:rolleyes:

I dont need to grow up I'm 18 years old, and by sounds of your post alot more mature than you

HouseHippo

well if you are going to insult me and not even bother to read the thread properly then what to you expect.What are you even here for. I am looking for my pressure to be relieved not made worse by arrogance.

I bid you good day.

Jack Sheehan

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

With respect, if you're not going to give constructive criticism, get off this thread.

Beruthiel

hayley_2008
Read this forums charter with regards to useful, helpful comments.
I think you have said quite enough in this thread.
B

LeixlipRed

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Your attitude really does you no credit, i can feel the heat from here.... ouch

Total WUM

spurious

HouseHippo wrote: »

Lots of my friends got their results today.....
My grandparents turned around and said they expect me to get 8 A1's.

They have no right to put that sort of pressure on you, no matter how academic you may or may not be.

You know this.

It's hurtful that they can be so ignorant of how things work, but you know you are doing your best and that is all you can do.

LeixlipRed

There must be less than a couple of hundred people who have ever gotten 8 A1s. That's like expecting your child to become an astronaut or taoiseach or something. Ridiculous.

Beruthiel

You studied over two months during the summer and get As & Bs, speaking as a parent, I'd need to be hospitalised if my daughter did that!

Your grand parents need to understand that not only must you pass your LC, but you need to have a life at the same time.
Too much pressure and stress is as bad as doing nothing at all.
There has to be a happy medium. Talk to them if you can and see if you can get that across to them.

Spud83

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of studying during the summer this is actually beside the point. The point is that the grandparents are thinking one way and the OP is thinking another. I somehow feel that the OP being backed up on the internet is not going to solve much.

The underlying issue in all this is communication.

OP you mentioned you lost your mother last September and your grand parents are now looking after. You should remember that this is a big responsibility that has been thrust upon them, and the world they brought their children your parent up in is now very different. They probably want to shelter and protect you from it , they also may be seeing you getting a good leaving cert (all be it extremely good) as a sign that they have done a good job in taking care of you, and that they do the job they thought your mother would do.

You have to sit down with them and talk about the following year. Try to stay as calm as possible during this and try to not let it develop into an argument.

Tell them what your goals are for the following year. You should have more than one

a) the course you want to get and the points required.
b) the mock results you want to get.
c) the exam results you want to get.

Then talk to them about how you plan on achieving this. This is best done with a schedule or timetable of what an average week will be. So 9-3.30 (school), 4-6 (study), 6-7 (portfolio), (7-9) friends. Something like that anyway, and some "flexible" for the weekend.

Tell them your study time will increase towards exam time, tell them that how you plan to monitor your progress (mainly through school exams I imagine).

Tell them that you are an A/B student and you will be hoping and working to keep up those grades throughout the year. Tell them you have had these grades for x amount of years and you know the amount of work required to achieve them.

Lastly, do you have an aunt/uncle/older family friend who you could talk to who is also close to the grandparents. Somebody who has kids around the same age or kids who have just done the LC recently (4-5 years). Tell them the you concerns and the pressure you are feeling, and ask could they talk to your grandparents.

The grandparents probably need as much help understanding your situation as possible, and right now are probably just scared of doing wrong, so they are doing what they think is right to the extreme.

HouseHippo

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Regardless of the rights and wrongs of studying during the summer this is actually beside the point. The point is that the grandparents are thinking one way and the OP is thinking another. I somehow feel that the OP being backed up on the internet is not going to solve much.

The underlying issue in all this is communication.

OP you mentioned you lost your mother last September and your grand parents are now looking after. You should remember that this is a big responsibility that has been thrust upon them, and the world they brought their children your parent up in is now very different. They probably want to shelter and protect you from it , they also may be seeing you getting a good leaving cert (all be it extremely good) as a sign that they have done a good job in taking care of you, and that they do the job they thought your mother would do.

You have to sit down with them and talk about the following year. Try to stay as calm as possible during this and try to not let it develop into an argument.

Tell them what your goals are for the following year. You should have more than one

a) the course you want to get and the points required.
b) the mock results you want to get.
c) the exam results you want to get.

Then talk to them about how you plan on achieving this. This is best done with a schedule or timetable of what an average week will be. So 9-3.30 (school), 4-6 (study), 6-7 (portfolio), (7-9) friends. Something like that anyway, and some "flexible" for the weekend.

Tell them your study time will increase towards exam time, tell them that how you plan to monitor your progress (mainly through school exams I imagine).

Tell them that you are an A/B student and you will be hoping and working to keep up those grades throughout the year. Tell them you have had these grades for x amount of years and you know the amount of work required to achieve them.

Lastly, do you have an aunt/uncle/older family friend who you could talk to who is also close to the grandparents. Somebody who has kids around the same age or kids who have just done the LC recently (4-5 years). Tell them the you concerns and the pressure you are feeling, and ask could they talk to your grandparents.

The grandparents probably need as much help understanding your situation as possible, and right now are probably just scared of doing wrong, so they are doing what they think is right to the extreme.

I have tried to communicate but they just refuse to listen. My family aren't very close to me and are all pretty old too.
Its more so that they are in my care, my nanny is on alot of prescription drugs I suppose you could call her an addict. So I have to make sure she doesnt kill herself by falling in the shower etc.

They say things like...God what did we do to deserve her etc etc...they think im the worst teen in the world, I pretty much keep to myeslf.

I have discussed courses etc, I will try to discuss the time table. Maybe they might listen then

HouseHippo

Beruthiel wrote: »

You studied over two months during the summer and get As & Bs, speaking as a parent, I'd need to be hospitalised if my daughter did that!

Your grand parents need to understand that not only must you pass your LC, but you need to have a life at the same time.
Too much pressure and stress is as bad as doing nothing at all.
There has to be a happy medium. Talk to them if you can and see if you can get that across to them.

I need a parent to tell them these things but there aren't any in my family with teenagers. I wish i could find someone to talk to them

bangersandmash

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Actually i knew quite a few, they are now in college studying towards Law & Medicine degrees. By not revising your work in June & August you are losing out to other students who ARE revising.

Your advice is anything but helpful. Have you never heard of "burn out"? I would not advise those going into 6th year to spend the previous summer constantly studying. September-June in 6th year will be an extremely stressful time. Extending this to 12 months could potentially be counterproductive, as students can "peak" before the exams (around the time of the mocks, say), and then perform poorly during the actual exams. I've seen it happen regularly.

Also, it's not necessarily the amount of time you spend revising that matters, but how effectively you revise. I remember people in my class who spent ever summer, every holiday and every weekend revising, and still managed to do poorly. While some of us had jobs during summers, took time out when we needed, and still managed to get the kind of "high end" points you are talking about.

OP, I don't doubt that your grandparent have your best interests at heart, even if they might have a very strange way of showing it. They probably don't realise that their words are not helpful, but actually harmful. Ideally you could get a relative or even a teacher to have a word with them to explain the reality of the situation. If this is not possible, all you can do is smile when they say these things, and do your best to ignore them. The main thing is that you know you have worked as hard as you can this summer, that's what really counts.

The reality is that your grandparents will no doubt be very proud when you get into university, and in 18 months time nobody will care what you or your friends got in the leaving. In the mean time, keep your head down and ignore the comments of others. Best of luck.

HouseHippo

bangersandmash wrote: »

Your advice is anything but helpful. Have you never heard of "burn out"? I would not advise those going into 6th year to spend the previous summer constantly studying. September-June in 6th year will be an extremely stressful time. Extending this to 12 months could potentially be counterproductive, as students can "peak" before the exams (around the time of the mocks, say), and then perform poorly during the actual exams. I've seen it happen regularly.

Also, it's not necessarily the amount of time you spend revising that matters, but how effectively you revise. I remember people in my class who spent ever summer, every holiday and every weekend revising, and still managed to do poorly. While some of us had jobs during summers, took time out when we needed, and still managed to get the kind of "high end" points you are talking about.

OP, I don't doubt that your grandparent have your best interests at heart, even if they might have a very strange way of showing it. They probably don't realise that their words are not helpful, but actually harmful. Ideally you could get a relative or even a teacher to have a word with them to explain the reality of the situation. If this is not possible, all you can do is smile when they say these things, and do your best to ignore them. The main thing is that you know you have worked as hard as you can this summer, that's what really counts.

The reality is that your grandparents will no doubt be very proud when you get into university, and in 18 months time nobody will care what you or your friends got in the leaving. In the mean time, keep your head down and ignore the comments of others. Best of luck.

Thanks I just read your thread to my grandparents along with other threads....think it will give them something to think about

Ps Hayley_2008 has been banned from PI

bangersandmash

HouseHippo wrote: »

Thanks I just read your thread to my grandparents along with other threads....think it will give them something to think about

You're very welcome, hope it all works out for you

LegacyUser

OP tell them to front up their results and you'll try your best to better what they got

Cant ask fairer then that

I'm sure they dont even have a LC

HouseHippo

nope didnt even go to secondary in fact

Handsome Bob

Something tells me that hayley_2008 was having a very slow and boring day, and decided to be "controversial" in PI to get her kicks.

Hippo, is there any other relative of authority, i.e. Brother/ Sister/ Aunt/ Uncle/ Parent, that could have a badly needed word with your grandparents to bring them back to earth?

leesmom

they just want the best for you:o
i lived with my aunty when i was in fifth year and as she was my guardian she thought it was her 'job' to put a hell of a lot of pressure on me,if only someone could turn the tables on them and let them see what it feels like,however thats not going to happen:rolleyes:
my advcie is grin and bear it,its none of their business anyway,just do your best and what are they going to do anyway when you get your results??? NOTHING! or perhaps the same as they have been doing, nag nag nag, unfortunately thats the way life is but maybe you should consider movin out when your finished the leaving,it doesnt sound like a very comfortable situation to be living in

spinandscribble

alright, firstly most secondary schools don't offer tech or classics so theres no point bringing that into it. plus it up to YOU to know ncads requirements, not your school. i had my guidence teacher making me the go to girl regarding art colleges in my school, so you're not alone, most have no clue about art as such a small amount are interested in that.
i'm guessing the grandparents not supporting your art college plan? also the points for ncad are the portfolio and your points added together, i remember them being 800 or so a few years ago, maybe its a new system or something.
try the timetable idea but i'd suggest leaving meeting the friends for the fri/sat/sun. that will give you two more hours each day, besides you see them at school.

HouseHippo

leesmom wrote: »

they just want the best for you:o
i lived with my aunty when i was in fifth year and as she was my guardian she thought it was her 'job' to put a hell of a lot of pressure on me,if only someone could turn the tables on them and let them see what it feels like,however thats not going to happen:rolleyes:
my advcie is grin and bear it,its none of their business anyway,just do your best and what are they going to do anyway when you get your results??? NOTHING! or perhaps the same as they have been doing, nag nag nag, unfortunately thats the way life is but maybe you should consider movin out when your finished the leaving,it doesnt sound like a very comfortable situation to be living in

Yeah my bf is moving out tomorrow, I will move in with him the minute I finish my last exam, I just dont think it will be great for studying to move in with him now otherwise I'd be gone.

HouseHippo

spinandscribble wrote: »

alright, firstly most secondary schools don't offer tech or classics so theres no point bringing that into it. plus it up to YOU to know ncads requirements, not your school. i had my guidence teacher making me the go to girl regarding art colleges in my school, so you're not alone, most have no clue about art as such a small amount are interested in that.
i'm guessing the grandparents not supporting your art college plan? also the points for ncad are the portfolio and your points added together, i remember them being 800 or so a few years ago, maybe its a new system or something.
try the timetable idea but i'd suggest leaving meeting the friends for the fri/sat/sun. that will give you two more hours each day, besides you see them at school.

i actually dont have any friends at school most of my friends are in college. I talked to NCAD, I did work experience there so I know some people. They said it was the guidance counsellor or my teacher who should have told me about the Brief they had posted it out to my school I didnt find out till it was made available online months later.

I think it may have changed all I know is i need 345 or 356 points for core year along with portfolio. Must have to Honours in 2 higher subjects and I need Irish, art and a foregin language.

HouseHippo

LZ5by5 wrote: »

Something tells me that hayley_2008 was having a very slow and boring day, and decided to be "controversial" in PI to get her kicks.

Hippo, is there any other relative of authority, i.e. Brother/ Sister/ Aunt/ Uncle/ Parent, that could have a badly needed word with your grandparents to bring them back to earth?

Na my only brother died and the rest of my family are pretty old, dont really know what they are talking about.
I have one younger auntie but we dont get on.

taram

Sounds like you've had a tough go of things recently. My parents were the same for my LC, had no clue how much stuff you had to do etc, when they saw how big my biology textbook and notes were they totally did a turn about of attitude. Maybe your grandparents don't understand the LC system? Might have seen some girl on the news with 8 A1s and thought it was grand to get with a bit of work. Maybe moving in with your bf is a good plan? You could go into a room away from him to do study each evening? Could a teacher talk to them for you? Maybe someone in NCAD?

Hope it works out for you!

HouseHippo

taram wrote: »

Sounds like you've had a tough go of things recently. My parents were the same for my LC, had no clue how much stuff you had to do etc, when they saw how big my biology textbook and notes were they totally did a turn about of attitude. Maybe your grandparents don't understand the LC system? Might have seen some girl on the news with 8 A1s and thought it was grand to get with a bit of work. Maybe moving in with your bf is a good plan? You could go into a room away from him to do study each evening? Could a teacher talk to them for you? Maybe someone in NCAD?

Hope it works out for you!

When I show my grandparents how much I nhave to do they adopt this attitude that i'm just sitting on my arse doing nothing and should be studying. then they start to complain about me going out etc.

You are right on the ball they heard it on the news and told me about it, I replied haha i'm not gonna get that and they start on and on. they dont care about my portfolio, see drawing as fun, as they don't accept my descisison to go to art college.


I would if I could but I have to quit my part time job in sep, and He cant afford to pay for both of us. He is renting in a house with about 6 people so its very busy.
I might ask my guidance counsellor can she give me a hand. I have been reading them some of these threads.

b3t4

My advise HouseHippo is to put your head down and ignore your grandparents comments. Yup, it's bloody hard to do but it's about the only way you have to deal with this. When they say something you don't like walk away/go to a different room. There is absolutely no point in having a discussion/arguement about it. By the sound of things they are as stubborn as hell and very old school to booth. Also, watch what you do/don't say around them.

Basically, you're mention to get through the next year is to nod and smile. When angry hit a pillow against a wall.

Just think about the fact that in a years time you'll no longer have to be under their roof and under their control. Hopefully, that'll help you get through the next year. When you do move out your relationship should develop into a healthier version of what it is now.

A.

HouseHippo

b3t4 wrote: »

My advise HouseHippo is to put your head down and ignore your grandparents comments. Yup, it's bloody hard to do but it's about the only way you have to deal with this. When they say something you don't like walk away/go to a different room. There is absolutely no point in having a discussion/arguement about it. By the sound of things they are as stubborn as hell and very old school to booth. Also, watch what you do/don't say around them.

Basically, you're mention to get through the next year is to nod and smile. When angry hit a pillow against a wall.

Just think about the fact that in a years time you'll no longer have to be under their roof and under their control. Hopefully, that'll help you get through the next year. When you do move out your relationship should develop into a healthier version of what it is now.

A.

Thanks. Just glad I have my bf to get me through it.

They get me so angry sometimes but i'll remember your thread and walk away

The Sweeper

HouseHippo, try explaining something to your grandparents about what you can DO with an art degree.

I wanted to go to NCAD when I was 17. Got 470 points in my LC, got my A2 in hons Art and my A2 in English, started my portfolio, had a great art teacher. My mom pushed me to go to journalism in DCU and told me I wasn't good enough to be an artist.

In her eyes, someone who studies art wants to paint pictures for a living. She had no concept of the range of jobs available to someone who has studied art - the openings into design jobs, the range of careers that require someone with artistic talent and an appropriate qualification. It never would have occurred to her in a million years that I could be a teacher in that subject for instance. She thought "art college = unemployed painter".

Fourteen years later, I'm a complete feckless waster. All of my creative urges go into gardening and cooking because they've been strangled through 12 years in corporate jobs. I never really worked as a journalist either - just because I was good at English, it didn't mean I was capable of what was needed for journalism.

The world is bigger than Ireland, your life is longer than your teens, your happiness is about more than your leaving cert and in 20 years, you'll regret not doing art more than you'll regret doing it.