Stop useing condoms?

kilasser

I have been in a relationship with my wife for six years two of them married. She has been on the pill for all of the six years. We have sex two to three times a week but alwaYS with a condom. We have never had sex without one. Is this normal. SHE is the only person I have ever had sex with. She says condoms are a must because she is afraid of the pill failing and her getting pregnant but i want to stop using condoms.

Do you not want children?

the_syco

You wanna be a daddy? It's that simple.

Miss Fluff

As long as you are both faitful and she is vigilant about taking the pill and follows the instruction leaflet to the letter then there is no reason why you should also have to use condoms.

baglady

you should talk to her about it. The pill is not 100% effective, but even with condoms there is still some small teeny tiny chance she could get pregnant too. I'm with my OH for 5 years and in the beginning I would always want to use condoms because I was so scared and it took me ages to adjust to not using them at all. I have never gotten pregnant, but I have been very meticulous - I use condoms if I've taken the pill the wrong way/been sick etc. At the end of the day if she doesn't want to , you can't force her, but if she tries it she might never look back

Piste

The chances of the pill failing if you're using it correctly are very, very slim. However, it's her body and if she want to protect herself from pregnancy at all costs then that's her decision, just be thankful you're getting any at all! She could be so scared of falling pregnant that she'd refuse point blank to have sex.

MagicMarker

the_syco wrote: »

You wanna be a daddy? It's that simple.

Errr, no it's not.

The only way to be sure to not get pregnant is abstinence. Your wife is just paranoid!

So long as the pill is taken correctly it provides all the protection you need from pregnancy.

Besides, it's just so so soooooo much better without:D

Just save all the money you'd use to buy condoms for a buggy incase the worst happens;)

aidan24326

If she's using the pill correctly then there's really no need for you to be using condoms aswell.

MagicMarker

MagicMarker wrote: »

Just save all the money you'd use to buy condoms for a buggy incase the worst happens;)

Or get the snip.

Overheal

kilasser wrote: »

I have been in a relationship with my wife for six years two of them married. She has been on the pill for all of the six years. We have sex two to three times a week but alwaYS with a condom. We have never had sex without one. Is this normal. SHE is the only person I have ever had sex with. She says condoms are a must because she is afraid of the pill failing and her getting pregnant but i want to stop using condoms.

For Pregnancy prevention its one extra redundancy. However there are other methods in such a long term relationship: a vasectomy (can be reversed later) or there is an implant afaik that will stop her eggs or something like that. some bit of plastic: cant remember the name.

However none of those methods prevent STDs. Make sure your both clean first.

Overheal

Overheal wrote: »

For Pregnancy prevention its one extra redundancy.

Typical use of the pill results in a 5% failure rate.
Typical use of condoms results in a 14% failure rate.
In a year of use.

Combined use results in

0.05*0.14=0.007

Less than 1% failure rate with typical use.

Darragh29

Moonbaby wrote: »

Typical use of the pill results in a 5% failure rate.
Typical use of condoms results in a 14% failure rate.
In a year of use.

Combined use results in

0.05*0.14=0.007

Less than 1% failure rate with typical use.

Is this 0.007 chance os getting pregnant in a one year period, or a ten year period??? Surely there must be a period that goes with this statistic, (no pun intended!)...

hussey

Darragh29 wrote: »

Is this 0.007 chance os getting pregnant in a one year period, or a ten year period??? Surely there must be a period that goes with this statistic, (no pun intended!)...

No that is failure rate that is not the %pc of getting pregnant.

if it fails in the middle of a 28day cycle the chances of getting pregnant would be much higher than at the start or end etc.

Darragh29

Piste wrote: »

However, it's her body and if she want to protect herself from pregnancy at all costs then that's her decision, just be thankful you're getting any at all!

Don't think the OP was looking at it from any other perspective thb. I wouldn't look at it from a "you should be grateful you're getting anything at all" angle. Luckily for the OP, he hasn't had sex without condoms ever before, if he did, he might find that he would have quite a different viewpoint now tbh...

Darragh29

hussey wrote: »

No that is failure rate that is not the %pc of getting pregnant.

if it fails in the middle of a 28day cycle the chances of getting pregnant would be much higher than at the start or end etc.

Ah I getya...

hussey

Moonbaby wrote: »

Typical use of the pill results in a 5% failure rate.
Typical use of condoms results in a 14% failure rate.
In a year of use.

Combined use results in

0.05*0.14=0.007

Less than 1% failure rate with typical use.

Perfect use of the pill failure rate would be about 1% or less

Beruthiel

Moonbaby wrote: »

Or get the snip.

Not helpful.

ugliest

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods

My friend had/has the implant. It's good for 3 years, 99.95% success rate.

From what I can tell, bar abstinence, it's the most reliable thing out there.

trio

We're married and we use both. Both paranoid about pregnancy.

We've both seen people get pregnant either with a condom, or on the pill. Nobodies perfect, and whilst I am v. good remembering the pill, once in a blue moon I'll forget.

He's happy to use them and we both feel more carefree this way. It also means that contraception isn't just down to one of us.

But if you're getting sick of using them then you need to tell your wife you'd like to stop. It may freak her out because the responsibility for not getting pregnant will be all on her shoulders. That's pretty heavy for her, if neither of you want kids for a good while to come. You got to take that into account. I'd hate for it all to be on my shoulders- it'd scare the living crap out of me.

So the "doubling up" method is more common than you think - you're not wierd as a couple or anything. But if you want things to change then it's her you should be talking to, not us.

KTRIC

ugliest wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods

My friend had/has the implant. It's good for 3 years, 99.95% success rate.

From what I can tell, bar abstinence, it's the most reliable thing out there.

Yep, have to agree with that. My girlfriend had an Implanon implant for a while and we didn't use any other contraception. She was never happy with it as she said when she got it she started to put on weight.

In the end when she got it taken out she dropped the weight very quickly. I don't know if the implant was being used as an excuse or not

Might be something to look into though.

SpookyDoll

No need for double bagging at all, if shes on the pill -condoms not neccessary.

If she forgets a pill -straight in get the morning after pill, then just use condoms until the end of the month .....no biggie.

Also Overheal, just a fyi -reversing a vasectomy is by no means an easy or guaranteed operation, vasectomy should be considered permanent, there is no guarantee the reversal would be a success.

jinksdub

"We've both seen people get pregnant either with a condom, or on the pill." - now that's just voyeurism.

condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

AARRRGH

Could you compromise with a combination of the pill, no condoms, and the withdrawal method?

Kaylie

SpookyDoll wrote: »

No need for double bagging at all, if shes on the pill -condoms not neccessary.

If she forgets a pill -straight in get the morning after pill, then just use condoms until the end of the month .....no biggie.

Very sensible advice... :rolleyes:

preilly79

As other people have mentioned, the pill can be a pain as missing a day can mess up the rest of the month.

your wife might consider trying this: http://www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/index.asp

it removes the repetitive and easily missed routine of pill taking.

seamus

Actually the choice is very simple:

• If having children is something which absolutely cannot happen at this point, then using condoms with the pill will improve your chances of keeping it that way.
  
• If having a child wouldn't be met with panic and fear, but you're just not planning to have them yet, then using a single form of contraception (such as the pill) is fine.
  
• If you would like to have a child, don't use contraception.

If you have decided permanently that you have no wish to have children, now or ever, then consider a vasectomy. Most are reversible (just in case) and it's extremely rare for a vasectomy to go wrong and result in children.

The withdrawal method and the cycle method, don't work. They're not methods, they're lotteries with much better odds than the national one.

I explicitly excluded abstinence, because I don't consider that a method of contraception.

Overheal

ugliest wrote: »

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods

My friend had/has the implant. It's good for 3 years, 99.95% success rate.

From what I can tell, bar abstinence, it's the most reliable thing out there.

I wonder what kind of people are brave enough to test new contraception

hayley_2008

seamus wrote: »

The withdrawal method and the cycle method, don't work. They're not methods, they're lotteries with much better odds than the national one.

I am a young female in my early twenties, I've been with my boyfriend for two years, a few wks after we first started having sexual intercourse we stopped using condoms.

In fact I havent ever been on the pill or on any kind of contraception. We do not use any contraception & i feel totally secure in the knowledge that I will not become pregnant because we are not mindless animals having reproductive sex , we are two adults making love who know exactly when to stop in order not to create a baby.

I am happy im not on the pill & happy my boyfriend does not pressure me about it, i do not trust the pill one bit, i cant wait to see what trials say about its effect on women in 10 yrs time... :rolleyes:

seamus

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I am a young female in my early twenties, I've been with my boyfriend for two years, a few wks after we first started having sexual intercourse we stopped using condoms.

In fact I havent ever been on the pill or on any kind of contraception. We do not use any contraception & i feel totally secure in the knowledge that I will not become pregnant because we are not mindless animals having reproductive sex , we are two adults making love who know exactly when to stop in order not to create a baby.

That's great for you, but one couple does not suddenly make it a "method". Even for you, it's still a lottery. You don't require full orgasm/ejaculation to become pregnant.

I am happy im not on the pill & happy my boyfriend does not pressure me about it, i do not trust the pill one bit, i cant wait to see what trials say about its effect on women in 10 yrs time... :rolleyes:

You're aware that the pill has been on the market for 50 years now? Of course, it's your choice to not take it and more power to you, but perhaps you should actually read up on it before deciding for no real reason that it must be dangerous.

Overheal

hayley_2008 wrote: »

<snip>

.......I'm so glad you didnt say that in front of any impressionable children. Im sorry but any unprotected penetration begets a risk of impregnation.

Maybe not in Ireland but the pills have been in circulation for longer than 10 years afaik. The long term affects are already known.

preilly79

hayley_2008 wrote: »

i cant wait to see what trials say about its effect on women in 10 yrs time... :rolleyes:

I think the effects are already apparent ... reduced pregnancies

VeryBerry

hayley_2008 wrote: »

In fact I havent ever been on the pill or on any kind of contraception. We do not use any contraception & i feel totally secure in the knowledge that I will not become pregnant because we are not mindless animals having reproductive sex , we are two adults making love who know exactly when to stop in order not to create a baby.

I am astonished that in this day and age there are still people who don't realise that you can become pregnant without penetration or ejaculation occuring.

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I am happy im not on the pill & happy my boyfriend does not pressure me about it, i do not trust the pill one bit, i cant wait to see what trials say about its effect on women in 10 yrs time... :rolleyes:

I'm not sure what "trials" you are refering too, but since the Pill first emerged in the 1960's there have been numerous controlled clinical trials of the Pill with 30+ years follow-up. Results have shown that in some cases the pill might actual have benefical effects aside from preventing pregnancy e.g. reducing risk of certain types of cancer. Of course it's completely your choice not to use the Pill. But at least make sure you're fully informed of the facts before you start advising others.

R0ot

http://www.youtube.com/swf/l.swf?video_id=8ZKuuUPjk1Q

Overheal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ZKuuUPjk1Q

fixed it for you.

For written word see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraception#Misconceptions

hayley_2008

VeryBerry wrote: »

I am astonished that in this day and age there are still people who don't realise that you can become pregnant without penetration or ejaculation occuring.



I'm not sure what "trials" you are refering too, but since the Pill first emerged in the 1960's there have been numerous controlled clinical trials of the Pill with 30+ years follow-up. Results have shown that in some cases the pill might actual have benefical effects aside from preventing pregnancy e.g. reducing risk of certain types of cancer. Of course it's completely your choice not to use the Pill. But at least make sure you're fully informed of the facts before you start advising others.

Since my bestfriend started taking the pill she has had pretty much all of the common side effects of the pill which are;
headaches,
depression,
change in intensity of sexual desire and response,
vaginitis and vaginal discharge,
urinary tract infection,
changes in menstrual flow,
breast changes,
skin problems,
gum inflammation,
it aggravated her asthma

Sure was easier to live back in Adam & Eves day huh?:rolleyes:

As for getting pregnant without intercourse/ejaculation etc... i must be barron then? 2 years and not one kid

SheroN

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Since my bestfriend started taking the pill she has had pretty much all of the common side effects of the pill which are;
headaches,
depression,
change in intensity of sexual desire and response,
vaginitis and vaginal discharge,
urinary tract infection,
changes in menstrual flow,
breast changes,
skin problems,
gum inflammation,
it aggravated her asthma

Sure was easier to live back in Adam & Eves day huh?:rolleyes:

As for getting pregnant without intercourse/ejaculation etc... i must be barron then? 2 years and not one kid

You can also drive a car with your feet, doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Overheal

well thats unfortunate for your friend but your friend =/= you. Theres a lot more to physiology than that. She sounds like an extreme, if not fictional, case.

Jack Sheehan

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I am a young female in my early twenties, I've been with my boyfriend for two years, a few wks after we first started having sexual intercourse we stopped using condoms.

In fact I havent ever been on the pill or on any kind of contraception. We do not use any contraception & i feel totally secure in the knowledge that I will not become pregnant because we are not mindless animals having reproductive sex , we are two adults making love who know exactly when to stop in order not to create a baby.

I am happy im not on the pill & happy my boyfriend does not pressure me about it, i do not trust the pill one bit, i cant wait to see what trials say about its effect on women in 10 yrs time... :rolleyes:

Jesus H, this is not a method, this is a lottery. While this may work for you this is a recipe for disaster for the average person.

seamus

Overheal wrote: »

For written word see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contraception#Misconceptions

I think this would be a more effective link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_birth_control_methods#Effectiveness_of_various_methods

It's worth noting that under perfect conditions, the withdrawal method is twice as likely to result in pregnancy than condoms. The rhythm method is five times as likely to result in pregnancy.

In reality, the withdrawal method is actually less effective than the rhythm method because it requires willpower and a good degree of experience and timing. Even the most honourable, strong-willed and level-headed man will lose control under the right conditions.

If you're going to use the rhythm method, I strongly advise using a condom with it, at the very least. In the normal rhythm method, you stand a 1 in 4 chance of becoming pregnant. Coupled with a condom, this drops to 3 in 80.

hayley_2008

seamus wrote: »

In reality, the withdrawal method is actually less effective than the rhythm method because it requires willpower and a good degree of experience and timing. Even the most honourable, strong-willed and level-headed man will lose control under the right conditions.

I disagree, we are not mindless animals, we have self control & plenty of it.
I am living proof that after two years of withdrawl method as a young woman i am not pregnant :rolleyes:

seamus

hayley_2008 wrote: »

Since my bestfriend started taking the pill she has had pretty much all of the common side effects of the pill which are;
<snip>

And how often did she go back to the doctor to change her pill? There are a tiny percentage of people for whom no version of the pill will never suit because they get the above side effects. That doesn't mean the pill is dangerous. There are a tiny percentage of people who die when they eat peanuts. Does that mean that peanuts are bad for you?

As for getting pregnant without intercourse/ejaculation etc... i must be barron then? 2 years and not one kid

From the link I posted above, when used properly, the withdrawl method has a 4% chance of producing a pregnancy. The problem is that your chances of screwing up (no pun intended) are way higher when you're relying on willpower.

I disagree, we are not mindless animals, we have self control & plenty of it.
I am living proof that after two years of withdrawl method as a young woman i am not pregnant

We all have plenty of self control. But we're all still animals. Don't fool yourself by thinking otherwise. You are living proof that one person can use the withdrawal method responsibly, not proof that the withdrawl method isnt a lottery.

Beruthiel

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I disagree, we are not mindless animals, we have self control & plenty of it.
I am living proof that after two years of withdrawl method as a young woman i am not pregnant :rolleyes:

Ya. Right.
I think we've had enough of you.
One week ban.
B

Jack Sheehan

hayley_2008 wrote: »

I disagree, we are not mindless animals, we have self control & plenty of it.
I am living proof that after two years of withdrawl method as a young woman i am not pregnant :rolleyes:

I'm living proof that eating pasta means your house is made of bricks. Science disagrees but what do they know?

Karen_*

I had two years of using the withdrawal method too. It didn't work. The child is now 14.

Overheal

lol :pac:

LegacyUser

my wife and i use condoms most of the time but there are times during a womans cycle where they are not fertile. The days leading up to period. We have sex during these days and have not had an accident the three years we have been having sex.

There is a gizmo that takes the temperature and records when the period occurs and calculates the fertility on a given day. When used correctly the chances of conceiving are quite low and there isnt any bad side effects like using the pill. It gives ranges of fertility, so you can chance it or wait for a less fertile time. I wouldn't chance it though until you were ready for an "accident" if it happened The gizmo takes time to "train" and involves being woken up in the early morning (best time to take temperature) but after it is trained provided you tell it when your period occurs it keeps calibrated.

Princess Leia

Well I've been pregnant TWICE whilst taking the pill correctly...so unless you want a Mini You keep using the condoms

Nevyn

hayley_2008 wrote: »

As for getting pregnant without intercourse/ejaculation etc... i must be barren then? 2 years and not one kid

You could well be, I suggest you consult with your doctor.

BOYCEY2008

I recommend she gets the "COIL". Vey effective and no condoms required. Here is one example:
http://www.womens-health.co.uk/mirena.asp

Overheal

BOYCEY2008 wrote: »

I recommend she gets the "COIL". Vey effective and no condoms required. Here is one example:
http://www.womens-health.co.uk/mirena.asp

thats the piece I was thinking about earlier. thx didnt know how to find it. Theyre meant to have a very high success rate.

Jah Luff

Moonbaby wrote: »

Or get the snip.

Ahaha good idea! Well i always hear friends of mine that got pregnant say they were on the pill! But that is bull i know well they just made that up and they forgot to take it, people always cover :P so i would say its very safe without condom.. Much more fun too

Edit: Oh yea the pill sucks its totaly unhealthy for alot of girls, my gf stoped using it and i wont let he use it again cuz it messes with ur body..