The Only Thing You Need To Know About UL Is...

cson

Right, I'm doing a guide to UL for Ms Ed of An Focail, bluedolphin. And in my typical organised way I've decided to start it now, so that it'll be in at least by this day next week. Deadlines are only a rough guide anyway, aren't they bd? :pac:

So to *ahem* aid me in my research... ah who am I kidding, Im just a lazy ****e and I need ye all to bail me out on this one...

So, whats the one thing that above all others you would tell a firstie in Sept?

Would it be a gem like "The Stables is over there" or a more succinct "The best Guinness is in the sports bar".

Or my own "Register your modules asap lest the feckers scam you for a bady needed €30"

kaimera

MaryI is that direction but our own nurses are over there ->

Rowley Birkin QC

The Only Thing You Need To Know About UL Is..


If you do business you will never know more than 10% of people in your class.
The Lodge is a poor man's Coppers.
Don't do business.
24 hr. labs are good after a night on the tear.
Play in one of the leagues on the Astroturf.
Don't do business.

ImDave

bigkev49 wrote: »

Don't do business.

So you don't like business then?

rmacm

Stuff like where to find a variety of different things e.g. Student Services, Med Centre, Counselliing Service (C Block somewhere). I think a lot of people would find that useful as it may not be covered by orientation guides or may be forgotten after orientation.

Locations of 24 hour labs and stuff like how/where to register your modules would also be useful. As for the humourous stuff I think Denis and bigkev have that covered.....perhaps a section on not barfing over balconies in Dromroe or pivoting over a wall getting sick after paying a visit to the Lodge :P

Terran

I'd tell them to definitely join a club or society that interests them, and to be sure to participate to make new friends and for the craic that's to be had.

Mossin

Get to know the Business class, there are lots of women in it

Do Business!!

But seriously, The Only Thing You Need To Know About UL Is

That its completely unlike secondary school and anything you have ever experienced previously, and that to make the most ofit dont be afraid to express yourself and do something. Dont mope about like I did for 3 years, and not witness much of what has gone on.

Rowley Birkin QC

Live near but not with people you knew before college. Goes for any college really.

kaimera

Get to know the barstaff in the college bars.

tell them you know us* [by us I mean Mossin...]

*tooling around on bebo/myspace/facebook on the college pcs while people have werk to do is deserving of a manslap. Keep that in mind.

Fast_Mover

2nd post:

kaimera wrote: »

MaryI is that direction

Wondered how long it would take for Mary I to be mentioned..

Though I must admit, I banked on Peteee to be the one to mention it!!:D

Jemmy

That it has one of the best Rag Weeks!

And i didnt even go to college there!

The Don

You should have a section on whats close to UL. Like Groody bar, the hurlers and the lodge. Champer, fine wines, chawkes. The 24hr shop, spar, tesco, the parkway and the other shops near it. Storm cinema with their student rate Monday-Thursday.

You could rate the nightspots in town.

Let them know that the 2 busses that go to UL every hour arrive within 5 minutes of eachother.

Mossin

The Don wrote: »

You should have a section on whats close to UL. Like Groody bar, the hurlers and the lodge. Champer, fine wines, chawkes. The 24hr shop, spar, tesco, the parkway and the other shops near it. Storm cinema with their student rate Monday-Thursday.

You could rate the nightspots in town.

Let them know that the 2 busses that go to UL every hour arrive within 5 minutes of eachother.

Where's the nearest Tesco if you dont have a car?

And after working in Storm you'd think you'd know there is a Student rate everyday :rolleyes:

rmacm

Mossin wrote: »

Where's the nearest Tesco if you dont have a car?

And after working in Storm you'd think you'd know there is a Student rate everyday :rolleyes:

The closest Tesco is in Roxborro I think, there's also one in Arthurs Quay if I remember correctly.

Superquinn and Dunnes are the nearest places (within walking distance) aside from that.

klong

Mossin wrote: »

Where's the nearest Tesco if you dont have a car?

And after working in Storm you'd think you'd know there is a Student rate everyday :rolleyes:

Just go to Lidl instead??

I agree with The Don, a good start.

WHat about a line or two on UL courses? I.e., HPSS= bunch of wasters etc, I think something along those lines was done in '03.
How about a game? Guess the course by the clothes they're wearing

kaimera

WHat about a line or two on UL courses? I.e., HPSS= bunch of wasters etc, I think something along those lines was done in '03.

it was actually.

Comp sys: equivalent of a hamsters caught in a lawnmower or summet similar.

The Don

Mossin wrote: »

Where's the nearest Tesco if you dont have a car?

Meant superquinn, my bad.

Mossin wrote: »

And after working in Storm you'd think you'd know there is a Student rate everyday :rolleyes:

Its been a while. Thought they changed it?

Mossin

The Don wrote: »

Meant superquinn, my bad.


Its been a while. Thought they changed it?

They changed it to 7 days a week...:D

Mossin

Maybe a section on places to look for a part time job would be good.

ImDave

A section on the various IT aspects of college might prove usefull for 1st years. Public Folders, e-mail, Sulis, Student Records, Printing, Photocoyping, Wi-Fi locations etc.

Vegeta

The best toilets in the college (when I was there, some new fancy buildings may surpass these now) are in the basement of the library

Peteee

These are all good ideas

I'll put up a post later on and ye can add some information to it, I'll put it into one coherent post and sticky it.

kaimera

Peteee wrote: »

These are all good ideas

I'll put up a post later on and ye can add some information to it, I'll put it into one coherent post and sticky it.

or how about sticky poor csons thread and just use this one?

The Don

kaimera wrote: »

or how about sticky poor csons thread and just use this one?

Because he wants to sticky one that he started himself.:pac:

kaimera

The Don wrote: »

Because he wants to sticky one that he started himself.:pac:

e.thanks

ninty9er

Since guides get a bashing for not stewarding people away from Ulster Bank's competition, advise firsties to open an account with the 3 big banks to get everything that's free!

Most importantly

tell them they should write for An Focal!!

Rowley Birkin QC

ninty9er wrote: »

Since guides get a bashing for not stewarding people away from Ulster Bank's competition, advise firsties to open multiple accounts with the 3 big banks to get everything that's free!

Fixed that for you.

I still get 4 statements a year from BOI

brucer24!

never go to the lodge unless your locked!!

ergonomics

If you have a car invest in a steering wheel lock or a lock that goes around the gear stick and handbrake and don't leave valubles in it, even hidden.

bluedolphin

Vegeta wrote: »

The best toilets in the college (when I was there, some new fancy buildings may surpass these now) are in the basement of the library

+1!!!!

Errr, Cson, will need this by Monday or over the weekend preferably. Going to the designer on Tuesday! Please and Thank you

Thinking of doing the course thing that was done in 03...sure no one around will remember it!! Keep the ideas coming people, always in need of input!!

This is where klong gets his public display of gratitude...I've shuffled him over to the Dark Side...thanks for contributing So...who's next?!

Oh and my own tip: the photocopier just inside the door of the photocopying room on the top floor of the library does double sided copying for the same price as one-sided. That was a gem that I told no one about for fear that they'd fix it. But I'll never have to photocopying to the same extent again. Unless I end up in the civil service in which case tax payers' money will be paying so I won't care anyway.

klong

Woo, praise indeed! I'll be in UL later in the month to collect my cookie/do repeats


Further contributions = more cookies

rmacm

cson if you want to lift anything from that UL network tutorial e.g. locations where wireless networking is available feel free to do so. Probably of no interest to anyone but ULs connection to Heanet has been upgraded to 1Gb/sec lately as Heanet did a major network upgrade.

The Don

The most important one:

Tell them about the UL forum on boards.ie. Say that there's plenty of craic, advise and BULBs organised.

1huge1

Looks like im going to UL guys, any chance of me getting accomodation on campus? I can be at the accomodatiosn office for 7am monday morning when the cao offers come out, anything to be the 1st to get on the list for the cancelations.
Any advice would be great thanks

klong

Ring each of the villages , only way you'll find out for sure. I *think* there may be vacancies in classy Plassey.

AFAIK accomodation office opens around 0900, you'd be waiting a while :pac:

1huge1

klong wrote: »

Ring each of the villages , only way you'll find out for sure. I *think* there may be vacancies in classy Plassey.

AFAIK accomodation office opens around 0900, you'd be waiting a while :pac:

Ya I hear plassey is good for 1st years, ill give them a call tomorrow

thanks

bluedolphin

All on-campus booked for the coming year and a waiting list already in place. HOWEVER, a lot of people book 'just in case' so there will be drop-outs and quick movement up the waiting list. Ring accommodation office tomorrow and ask to be put on waiting list. There's off-campus accommodation too; ask about that as well.

1huge1

bluedolphin wrote: »

All on-campus booked for the coming year and a waiting list already in place. HOWEVER, a lot of people book 'just in case' so there will be drop-outs and quick movement up the waiting list. Ring accommodation office tomorrow and ask to be put on waiting list. There's off-campus accommodation too; ask about that as well.

Theres already a waiting list? ah crap, I rang her and she told me she wouldnt be taking names till monday.

bluedolphin

1huge1 wrote: »

Theres already a waiting list? ah crap, I rang her and she told me she wouldnt be taking names till monday.

Yeah I'd say they're inundated with calls at the moment and have probably just set a blanket timeline on accepting them! Yep, there is a list, but don't worry - honestly a lot of those places are taken by people who did it just in case back in about March! There will be plenty of cancellations so do ring on Monday again.

1huge1

All right so, ill get onto to them early monday, thanks for the help and anyway I was thinking there bound to be loads of people in my situation with no accomodation booked, they might be able to point in the same direction so i'll be with other 1st years.

bluedolphin

1huge1 wrote: »

All right so, ill get onto to them early monday, thanks for the help and anyway I was thinking there bound to be loads of people in my situation with no accomodation booked, they might be able to point in the same direction so i'll be with other 1st years.

Oh definitely. I wouldn't be too panicked about it right now, you won't be left homeless! There are a couple of private off-campus designated student villages that you might want to check out if you're not keen on doing a houseshare. There's Brookfield Hall and Courtyard Student Village and Park View Hall (but that one is a bit far away). I have no idea about how their situation is regarding being booked up or not though - sure give them a call and see anyway, no harm in it.

cson

Right, guide is presently cooking in the oven. Shall be in yore inbox around 8am-ish if I wake up. :pac:

bluedolphin

cson wrote: »

Right, guide is presently cooking in the oven. Shall be in yore inbox around 8am-ish if I wake up. :pac:

It's past noon; my inbox is empty

Peteee

He obviously never woke up!

And another great man suffles off this mortal coil!

cson

The Only Thing You Need To Know About UL Is…You got the points. You got the offer. You got a lift down with Mammy & Daddy. You’re there and you just don’t know what to do with yourself. Well fear not, for this guide shall provide all the answers to questions you thought never existed. Like how to get the fig out of fig rolls. Mainly it’ll just be a guide of not doing what I did last year.

Most firsties seem to think that once they hit college that everything will be rosy in the garden and there’s nothing to it at all. They’re wrong, very wrong. You can learn all the notes you want in leaving cert but they won’t equip you with the necessary and vital college skills. Skills such as the ability to source the cheapest alcohol purveyors within the shortest walking distance, or shortcuts to lecture halls that will enable you to have a longer lie in, or most importantly; how to get 3 days out of that spaghetti you cooked last Monday. The leaving cert just doesn’t equip you with those skills.

Drink
A lot of people have the common misconception that college is all about the beer. This is obviously wrong; it’s all about the cheapest beer.
• All I can say is, while you might scorn Bavaria Crown Lager right now, come November don’t be surprised to see yourself tenderly clutching the last two cans of your 6 for €7 thanking the almighty for this wonderful concoction.
• Another thing to watch out for is the various bank holiday weekend offers from the Dunne’s and Tesco’s of this world. I like to call this method the Michael O’Leary, hedging your alcohol for the coming months. Be careful that you drink all your 24 for €20 Millers before the best before date, because trust me on this one; unlike wine, beer doesn’t get better with age.

Food
Get ready to put on the fresher’s stone. Without Mammy’s home cooking you’re gonna have to fend for yourself from now on. This means your going to be eating an awful lot of food that’d be classed in the “faeces” bracket of the food pyramid.

• If you by some freak accident don’t happen to like spaghetti bolognaise, start getting a taste for it fairly lively. It will be the basis of your diet for the next four years and it isn’t uncommon for some students to indulge it 3 times a day, breakfast – lunch – dinner. Simplicity is the key; ½ lb mince and ½ lb of pasta and a small tub of bolognaise and we have lift off.
• Shopping is another sadly necessary expense. But the trick to keeping this expense as low as possible is home. Rob every cupboard, press, fridge, freezer the whole lot. Rob it all. Show no mercy as you scrounge that tub of spam from the back of the press. If you do need to shop Aldi and Lidl are the default venues. Tesco Value and St Bernard stuff is alright too, although I’d choose the Pedigree Chum (80% Meat Content) over the St Bernard Shepards Pie (60% Meat Content). In any case, there’s little difference between them.
• But if you’re lazy like me, the Sports Bar, The Plaza Café (Library) and the Paddocks do decent feeds for around €6ish. Then again an SU roll has proved itself as equal an adversary to hunger as Shreddies. But remember, the 10 minutes either side of the hour will see the place mad busy due to lectures starting and finishing.







Computery
Those of you in the Neolithic age for computer proficiency had better learn ho to use them. And fast. You’re going to have to work a lot with those computers in the coming months.
• If you have your laptop setup to use the UL network and then you decide to go home for a weekend and use your home broadband connection you will need to change the settings in IE/Firefox/Opera (or whatever you use) to not use the network any more. It's just the reverse of the steps you use to configure a network.
• Register your modules and e-mail fast. If you don’t do this within the first week expect to see a not too insignificant €10 disappear from your moneybag. To put it in context; that’s roughly 9 cans of Bavaria. Simple way to avoid this is to go to the library, get a PC, type in your ID no. and D.O.B. as your password and Bob’s your Aunty. Failing that, there’s an orange “How to Set-Up My UL Computer Account for Dummies” doing the rounds on one of the shelves in the library.
• Any questions on computer stuff, go to www.boards.ie, go to education, go to UL and the nerds in there will be more than happy to sort it out whilst perving on you. And yes that includes the fella’s.

Edu-macation
Believe it or not, you actually have to learn some stuff while you’re here. Now lets take a moment to say a decade of the rosary for those poor souls doing teaching and science degrees. You will no doubt hear of their misery of 78 hour weeks. They’re only sorry they didn’t do a humanities degree!
• Tip number one: While the 12th November may seem like ages away for the hand-in date for your project, you will inevitably find yourself on the 11th November with nothing done for it. Just get the thing out of the way straight away, its more fun to watch someone else slaving away into the wee hours of the morning at a project.
• I’m tentative to say the lectures aren’t that important given the fact my name will be on this and I will probably become “known” to my lecturers in the same way some people are “known” to the Gardai. How and ever, what are important are the tutorials. Definitely go to these as you’ll find they stand to you in the exams.
• Books. Do not buy them without consulting someone who’s a year ahead of you in the course. They’ll tell you whether you really need them or not. Case in point is the Irish Legal System book on my shelf that, while it looks nice up there gathering dust, I’d much rather have that €80. If you must buy the books the Students Union will have them cheaper than normal. Don’t bother with the Library, the nerds will have all the books gone there before the lecturer has finished telling you what book he actually wants you to get.


Going Out
Why would anyone want to go out and dance to something sounding like a cat in a washing machine, surrounded by loads of sweaty drunk people, eat a burger with more grease in it than a car engine afterwards and wake up the next morning with a head on you like the aforementioned cat in a washing machine? Because t’is great craic shure! But really, yes it is.
• As mentioned already in this guide the objective is always to minimise ancillary expenses so as to maximise drinking money. One of the ways to do this is to take the Booze Bus. The Booze bus (i.e. the late Bus Eireann bus) departs around 11ish into town and only costs €1.45. Contrast this with the normal taxi fare of around €13 into town (€4 each for 3 in other words) and one has already saved half a vodka.
• Furthermore, the bulk of the drinking should be done at home before you go out. If time is tight, multitask. There’s nothing like having a bottle of miller in the shower. A cautionary tip though; there’s a very fine line between being merry enough to get into clubs and pubs and being sent on your not-so-merry way home. Somewhere between merry and drunk should be good. I like to call it “Munk”
• Another way to save dollars is to get into the clubs before 11.30. It’s free in before this time except on Thursdays for some strange reason. Don’t they realise I have a 9am lecture on Friday mornings and couldn’t possibly go out?
• The generally good clubs in town are Sin Bin, Icon, Molly’s and my personal favourite Trinity Rooms, affectionately known as “Trooms”. Then of course there’s the beloved Lodge in Castletroy, with it’s ahem unique charms. As for all you non-mainstream weirdo’s, don’t go looking for the weird clubs, they will find you.
• A general rule of thumb is that anyone that you regret pulling or scoring the next morning will most definitely be sitting beside you at your next tutorial or lecture. And the two of you will be the only ones there. But as a good friend of mine said “it’s only awkward if you let it be awkward”.

Sporty?
Given the fact the University tarts itself as “Irelands Sporting Campus” there is a world of sporty things to do here. Everything and anyone is catered for. Now, I think its time I stopped sounding like a prospectus.

• It won’t take you long to figure out where the Arena is since it basically towers over everything else in UL. The membership is very good value, but only if you use it! And remember the pool is deep, veeeeeerrrrry deep. So if you’re a poor swimmer, get better!
• Clubs & Socs evening is a must. Aside from sports, there are lots of other hobbies catered for. It’s a great way to make friends, but be very selective of the ones you join and again, make sure you use them! The UL Debating society got good value out of my fiver seeing as I never went.
• For all the rugby fans: Munster train on the pitch inside the running track with is beside the Arena.








Living
The likelihood is you’re going to be living with a group of people you’ve never met in your life before. This is supposedly part of the college experience. Personally, I just think its like big brother, except there’s no diary room to bitch about the rest of them in.
• Clean up your plates/pots/pans after you use them. It’s so much easier than having to do it the next morning on a hangover. Make this a house policy.
• Essential kitchen apparatus should include a George Foreman and a sandwich toaster. Microwaves are a luxury.
• Take the bins out when they get full. The smell will get absolutely dire in the house otherwise. Dire to the point where you will become immune to it, as evidenced by the visit of two friends of mine to the house last year whereupon they started bitching about the smell, to which I replied honestly “What smell?”
• Get back to the house early Sunday evening. Mainly so you can fill the fridge with your stuff before everyone else. If necessary “make room” for your things. If anyone asks where their waffles went, a good response is “what waffles?”

Missy Laneyus
There is definitely maybe a whole heap of things I’ve left out of this guide and in fact your chances of survival have probably diminished more by reading this. You can send any complaints to the editor.
• The buses. Ever hear that thing about two buses coming at the one time? Well Limerick proved that theory for me. The city buses are supposed to come every 15 mins. Needless to say they only come every hour and one follows the other almost as if they’re connected. Do not depend on them.
• The Students Union common room has the most comfortable couches in the whole country.
• TK Maxx do good deals on the Ski clothes around Sept-Oct. If this summer hasn’t shown you the great character that is Irish weather, god help you come December.

Right, I can’t think of anything else, so our mass has ended, let us go in peace to love and serve the lord.

divad

That is a really good post..

"All I can say is, while you might scorn Bavaria Crown Lager right now, come November don’t be surprised to see yourself tenderly clutching the last two cans of your 6 for €7 thanking the almighty for this wonderful concoction"

Its now 6 for €7.50...i know its disgusting

and watch out for the weekly beer prices... ie 24 Miller for €20 in Tesco one week will be 24 Miller for €26.99 in Tesco the following week, meaning you will have to go to Dunnes to avail of their offer of 24 Miller for €20.

Mossin

Very good cson, I laughed quite a bit at that. I'm too lazy to quote exactly which parts, but it definitely captures the essence of UL quite appropriately

The Don

Ya its good. I can see BD roping you in for more articles after that one.

Peteee, you should sticky that in a seperate thread.

Peteee

Stickied!

Great post cson, hilarious read!

Fast_Mover

Nice read..:)

cson

Fast_Mover wrote: »

Nice read..:)

Is that a compliment? :eek: