I want to visit an escort

LegacyUser

This post is going to sound sad to alot of people but Im in my 30's have a very poor self image(IM FAT)

I have never had a girlfriend and only had sex once in my life. I am what you may call sexually frustrated

I have looked at the escorts Ireland so many times and I really want to visit one of these girls.

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing but the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

Another reason apart from being sexually frustrated why I want to do this is because what if I do meet a girl I like .its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

LegacyUser

The only thing thats going to happen from this is you will probably feel worse that you did it this way.

Dude, wake up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Your self image can change, it just takes work.

I hope the mods dont mind that I post this, its not an ad, its the site that made me get off my arse when I put on the weight and started to feel like crap.

http://www.johnstonefitness.com/

Ignore what he looks like now, personally I think he went overboard, but Id suggest reading his story, looking at what he achieved by getting off his arse.

Yes I was fatter than him, No I dont look like him now, however thanks to the info the guys posted on the fitness forum here I may still be a little chubby, but I look WAY better and can lift my own body weight.

You have NO IDEA how much better you will feel if you go an do this yourself, I took a pic of myself at the start and one after 3 months and I actually cried with happiness at the difference.
Now to the main question, personally I think you would feel very bad if you went and paid just to break your drought, you dont need practice. You just need to find someone patient.
Forget about women for the moment (easier said than done) go sort out your self esteem issues by getting fit, and I would also suggest speaking to a counsellor (do NOT scoff at this, it helps)

Piste

DESPERATE wrote: »

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing

What are you looking for then?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Ok, two things.

One, the issue is not your eight or your inexperience, it's your confidence.

If you ever hook up with a girl, she's far more likely to not mind you being inexperienced if you're honest about it. Ladies, back me up here.

An escort may gave you experience, but she will NOT help you with your self confidence.

HouseHippo

Try internet dating sites instead. Find a nice girl and try and build a decent relationship then sex will not be akward. You prob wont get caught by cops it very rarely happens.

Try going on a diet bettering yourself maybe

Alice1

Ikky Poo 2 is quite right. If you meet a lady, you can be quite sure she will not mind your lack of experience. Matter of fact, some women find it endearing - specially if you are honest about it.

I respectfully suggest that you work on your self confidence more - rather than trying to gain sexual experience? It'll go a long way toward making you attractive you know.

Best of luck

snollup

would agree with all above plus I'd rather have a girl think of me as inexperienced then maybe having to tell her that I'd 'spent time with an escort.

Wishbone Ash

snollup wrote: »

I'd rather have a girl think of me as inexperienced then maybe having to tell her that I'd 'spent time with an escort.

Wise words indeed!

girl2

Hello

My heart goes out to you that you feel you need to do this. I have to agree with everyone on here. Women would not be put off by your lack of sexual experience, and would in fact be far more put off by the thought of you having been with an escort. What happens if you do go to an escort, build up your experience and then meet a lovely person who is interested in you......could you possibly tell her about this? Do you want to have sordid secrets like this in your future relationships?

Theres nothing to stop you from doing a bit of walking, introducing some healthy eating in your diet and losing a bit of weight. That in itself will boost your confidence loads. Try and work on your self esteem a bit and think positively.

I hope this helps a little bit.

Firetrap

OP I agree with the others. You'd be better off working on your own self confidence. If you can afford it, join a slimming club like Weight Watchers to help you lose weight. I know being thin won't necessarily make you happier but it'll do your self-confidence no harm at all. It will also make you more attractive to ladies and you could even get a girlfriend out of it.

I've never had sex with an escort but did have a few one night stands in my younger days. Honestly, it's not worth it. You will be happier having sex with someone you care about. If they care about you at all, your inexperience won't matter.

homerjay2005

not being smart here in any way, but if your image is what your main problem, why not loose weight? its getting you down. deal with that first and everything else should fall into place. loosing weight is easy, just eat less and exercise more. in a month, your life will change. people will stat complementing you and you will feel alot better about yourself.

escorts, no way, there for saddos and your not one of them. you have been open and honest, now its up to you to sort it.

Kazobel

DESPERATE wrote: »

This post is going to sound sad to alot of people but Im in my 30's have a very poor self image(IM FAT)

Firstly work on this, change your diet and exercise a bit trust me it'll do you the world of good.

DESPERATE wrote: »

I have never had a girlfriend and only had sex once in my life. I am what you may call sexually frustrated

No you're horney, you're a typical male, 90% of your time will be spent in that state until you're about 60, it's quite normal

DESPERATE wrote: »

I have looked at the escorts Ireland so many times and I really want to visit one of these girls.

Firstly stop buttering it up by saying "Escort", just admit it and say you want to see a prostitute, by saying "Escort" you're just trying to hide the seedy ellement from yourself.

DESPERATE wrote: »

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing but the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

Why be nervous about having sex? seriously 100,000 years of evolution have pretty much ensured we can't get it wrong, you have a rod, it fits in a hole 'nuff said! she's not going to expect you to do summersaults or a visual artistic representation of the colour orange through the medium of dance or anything, she will on the other hand, expect you not to be infected which, if you visit a prostitute, will be less likely.

DESPERATE wrote: »

Another reason apart from being sexually frustrated why I want to do this is because what if I do meet a girl I like .its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

Do you think girls expect Tarzan? try being yourself, in a sucessful relationship both people learn from each other so what do you think a prostitute is going to teach you? do you think it's going to be like Pretty Woman and she'll take you under her wing and teach you how to dress and give proper oral, ffs stop watching TV!

[Jackass]

Hi OP,

To be honest I think going to an escort could be MORE damaging to your confidence and self image.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong to go to an escort, but it could feel pretty sh*tty that it came to that for you at some point after.

Confidence is the main issue here and like everybody said, an improved self image is what it will take, and obviously your weight really bothers you so get determend and decide to sort your life out and make a plan to diet and to exercise.

wasper

DESPERATE wrote: »

This post is going to sound sad to alot of people but Im in my 30's have a very poor self image(IM FAT)

I have never had a girlfriend and only had sex once in my life. I am what you may call sexually frustrated

I have looked at the escorts Ireland so many times and I really want to visit one of these girls.

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing but the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

Another reason apart from being sexually frustrated why I want to do this is because what if I do meet a girl I like .its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

Go and find an escort & release your frustrations in a nice way. It's unhealthy not to have sex. But this is not a long term solution. You need to look at your life. You already said that you are fat. Well it's not the end of the world. As one of the guys here posted a link to fitness club. No one will be able to do anything for you if you don't want to change.

girl_friday

Hi OP,

fair play for having the confidence to post about such a topic!! From a girl's point of view I would advise you to give this more consideration before you go ahead. As someone else mentioned it would be better for a girl to think that you were inexperienced than to think that you had used an escort. I know I would not like to think that a potential OH had reduced sex to a commodity, I would rather take our time and build up experience together... Take care of yourself and focus on the self-esteem issues and things will fall into place!!

Karen_*

Op the first time with anyone is rarely very good and that will be the case even if you've been to an escort. Why not focus on getting yourself looking and feeling better and building up the confidence. And get out and meet more people. If in six months you still want to visit an escort then go for it but I don't think its the answer to your problems to be honest. You're worth more OP.

dlofnep

Start bettering yourself. This will only make your self esteem even lower. Hit the gym old boy, lose the weight. Get in shape. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, swallowed in your own self-pity and start doing something about it. Lose the weight, start becoming happier with yourself and you'll find someone.

Fanny Cradock

So, you go to a prostitute, have sex and then what? I'm confused as to what you think is going to change for the better in your life after that.

cowzerp

if you want to shag a prostitute go for it, but you still need to sort out the weight and confidence, get to the gym and start eating right, next step for you is the fitness forum..best of luck..

LegacyUser

DESPERATE wrote: »

This post is going to sound sad to alot of people but Im in my 30's have a very poor self image(IM FAT)

I have never had a girlfriend and only had sex once in my life. I am what you may call sexually frustrated

I'm in my 30s and have only ever had sex twice. I think if people knew they'd be completely shocked. But in truth no matter how I come across I've always had confidence issues. But for some strange reason it never really bothered me - that's just the way my life is and its a good life - even without the sex. So your not the only person in this situation mate.

In respect to going to an escort, its not something I have ever done, or have felt the need to do. But a number of years ago I worked with a guy in a similar position to ourselves and in his frustration he decided to go - just once. Well once turned into twice and three times and so on, once the taboo was broken, and personally I don't think it was a healthy situation to be in. I would have to agree with others here in thinking there are loads of ways you could improve your perceived situation - and going to an escort probably isn't one of them...

Kazobel

wasper wrote: »

Go and find an escort & release your frustrations in a nice way. It's unhealthy not to have sex. But this is not a long term solution. You need to look at your life. You already said that you are fat. Well it's not the end of the world. As one of the guys here posted a link to fitness club. No one will be able to do anything for you if you don't want to change.

Really? what, will his testicles explode or something?

Marksie

Kazobel: keep it on topic. This is the econd time in PI therads you have been warned for breaching charter

Kazobel

I think the OP has an over romanticize view of what visiting a prostitute will lead to, OP YOU ARE NOT GOING TO MEET A TART WITH A HEART, TV is a lie, you'll go in, you'll shag her and that will be it, for her anyway but for you it'll just be starting because then you'll get paranoid if you caught anything, you may get a bit itchy down there and eventually you'll get the stones up to go for THE TEST but still have to wait 6 weeks for the results and in that time you won't only have your weight to worry about, your hair will probably fall out with worry (6 weeks is a long time when you're unsure and every itch is a possibility) and if you meet someone within that time you couldn't be with them anyway, sure how could you? there may be a risk of infecting them too if you're infected with anything, go see an "Escort" if you choose but be bloody sure you realise that the after effects don't stop when you walk out the door after blowing your load.

Kazobel

Marksie wrote: »

Kazobel: keep it on topic. This is the econd time in PI therads you have been warned for breaching charter

Well actually it was a valid question?

1. how is it unhealty not to have sex?

2. Is a statment like that not in breach of the "This is not a Medical board" charter?

is someone saying no sex is unhealty not medical advice? is that the opinion of trained physicians everywhere? just curious why I'm getting a warning?

Marksie

Kazobel: Infracted, arguing with mod in thread.

DublinWriter

DESPERATE wrote: »

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing but the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

Paying/receiving monies for sex isn't illegal, soliciting for prostitution is.

Take from that what you will.

Also bear in mind that after such a transaction that you'll probably develop even lower self-esteem than you already have.

Kazobel

Marksie wrote: »

Kazobel: Infracted, arguing with mod in thread.

LOL that wasn't an argument, christ man have you ever seen half the posts I put up here? ffs :rolleyes:

Nevyn

Kazobel banned for a month.

sickpuppy

Nothing wrong with lashing an escort out of it.
I mean you could wine and dine a girl and maybe get a peck on the cheek after all your troubles and expenses.
At least going to a hooker you get what you want straight up no messing no games just a shag.
Op the fitness forum here would be agood place to look if you are annoyed with your appearance great advice from some very knowledgeable people.
Loads of peeps in the: same boat as yourself good luck with whatever you do

mumhaabu

My advice to the OP is to think twice before his actions, alot alot of "Escorts" are riddled with STD's don't go near them. Plus it is illegal in Ireland, I really don't see a problem with paying for it per say as long as you are not cheating on your partner or wasting your money, however I would never do it myself, I have had a few 1 night stands myself but at least I didn't pay for it, the whole idea is to make women want you.

My advise is spend the thousand euro or whatever amount you have ringfenced for a prozzie on ways of losing weight, try hypnotherapy or weight loss surgery. I'm male and have fat male friends and you'd be surprised at the sort of women they "pull" still, it is all down to confidence and fat guys can work on the humour and being decent side of things. People will argue you pay for sex whichever way you look at it, however isn't it much more fun and healthy to just try the normal social scene of pickup bars and nightclubs etc?

If you are really intent on paying don't do it in Ireland, go somewhere it is regulated and where the women are tested for disease at least you will be slightly safer from STD's then. The amount of men who actually pay is shocking I know several guys who have paid and was once on a stag where it occured, Ok ogle and tip a stripper etc. but don't bloody well pay her for a lay. Most men will deny they ever paid which is tantamount to what they received in return for their cash.

I just can't see the point I think it is the ultimate in degradation of both sexes; wherby women take advantage of men for one our most basic needs and wherby men throw around money to get something that is so intimate and special like it was getting a haircut.

To the OP, you are better than this and you need to tell yourself this, I'm sure you will meet someone special it all takes time, if you are sexually frustrated go download some porn and whack a few out which is healthy and normal. Paying a disease ridden prostitute for 20 mins and being ripped off isn't.

I bet 99% of people here would prefer their partner to masturbate to porno than vist a hooker for sexual release.

Dudess

OP, I have two female friends in their mid 20s who are very overweight but they don't give a ****, and as a result, they've been with loads of guys since they were 17/18, and both of them are in serious relationships now. They will need to lose the weight for their health eventually, but they don't need to lose it for their confidence.

You, however, do give a **** about your weight so I really think the answer to this is working on that immediately. And if you are afraid of meeting a girl you like and then being "clueless" in bed, an encounter with a prostitute isn't going to make you any more "expert" than you already are.

davyjose

DESPERATE wrote: »

.its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

I don't think it works like that. I honestly think if you just go for it and enjoy it, she'll think you're just fine. It's not rocket science, and TBH as long as you can last a reasonable length of time, she won't be thinking "I really wish this guy had more experience."

You're overthinking this anyway. Because 99% of girls (and 100% of those you want as gf's) can see past "nervous sex" at the beginning of a relationship, for all the other qualities you can offer her.

Irishcrx

Mate, you don't want to visit one in the long run it will hurt you. Get up and into a gym and loose the weight, if you work hard at it you WILL loose it and you WILL feel better in yourself, in your body and your confidence will grow. Visiting one of these girls will cost about 250 - 300 euro that's a gym membership for a full year. Think about it.

citeal

Please don't do it OP, there are loads of girls out there that would like to meet a genuine bloke & who will be as nervous & inexperienced as you. the figuring it out together will be great. You'll feel **** about it afterwards if you sleep with an escort. And please bear in mind, escorts are real people who, for whatever reason have chosen a horrible lifestyle - don't take advantage of their circumstances.

AARRRGH

DESPERATE wrote: »

the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

It's legal to have sex with a prostitute. Also, as long as the prostitute doesn't have a pimp and she doesn't solicit on the street, she's not breaking the law either.

I know a few prostitutes. They're nice enough people, trying to get by like you and me.

If you want to pay them for sex, go for it.

I think however they'll just provide a temporary fix to your problem. You should really try to find the root cause of your unhappiness and work from there.

Certainly counselling, an improved diet, and more exercise would be a huge start.

Best of luck.

Happy Monday

The reality is though that there are many women out there who ridicule guys for being overweight.

Equally for women - this is the reality that these people live in.

Walking and swimming would work wonders for you - this would improve your sleep as well.

SpookyDoll

Hey OP, do try weight watchers, its brilliant, in my class there are several men, two I would say morbidly obese....so there would be no need to be self conscious.

Also, your weight is confidential, and believe me no one snoops! lol everyone is too busy trying to hide their own weight!

I can understand your temptation to go to an escort, maybe re-consider as from what I understand some of the girls are made do this against their will and their passports are taken off them.....just tread carefully and think its a human being at the end of the day.

Dont forget not everyone out there is perfect or looking for someone perfect either. There are lonely hearts of all shapes and sizes....just like you, just like us all !!

JDLK

Straight forward question, straight forward answer

DESPERATE wrote: »

This post is going to sound sad to alot of people but Im in my 30's have a very poor self image(IM FAT)

Unlikely an escort will help with this and depending on your own views on prostituton it may even make you feel worse about yourself.

DESPERATE wrote: »

I have never had a girlfriend and only had sex once in my life. I am what you may call sexually frustrated

I have looked at the escorts Ireland so many times and I really want to visit one of these girls.

I am not looking for advice on the morality of the whole thing but the reason I havent done it up till now is because im worried that Ill get caught by the cops plus the fact im nervous about having sex itself

I would say your chances of being caught are minimal (as long as its not a street prostitute). Nerves, well there aint much you can do about that, maybe a couple of beers beforehand?

DESPERATE wrote: »

Another reason apart from being sexually frustrated why I want to do this is because what if I do meet a girl I like .its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

Practice makes perfect

LegacyUser

Ohhhhh c'mon, folks. Give the guy a break.

Sometimes sex is just sex. The guy needs to empty
his bag and let 'the pressure' out ... I say he should
go 4 it !!!

nomorebadtown

Dudess wrote: »

OP, I have two female friends in their mid 20s who are very overweight but they don't give a ****, and as a result, they've been with loads of guys since they were 17/18, and both of them are in serious relationships now. They will need to lose the weight for their health eventually, but they don't need to lose it for their confidence.

Not a fair comparison. If she chooses, a girl can always find a guy to get with/score etc no matter her confidence or way she looks. This is not the case for guys.

Firetrap

DESPERATE wrote: »

Another reason apart from being sexually frustrated why I want to do this is because what if I do meet a girl I like .its going to be a disaster the first time unless I get some practice

A thought just struck me. How's getting your end away going to make you a better lover if down the line you have sex with a girlfriend? I'm only surmising here (I'm a woman and know very little about prostitution) that when you go to a prostitute, you pay your money and it's all fairly mechanical. There's more to being a good lover than being able to figure out what goes where. You're not going to learn all the other bits from a prostitute. Also, as the others have pointed out, you run the risk of catching an STD from a prostitute.

If you've got such low esteem, you're not going to have much luck getting a girlfriend at all. You need to make positive changes within yourself first. Lose weight if that's what's bothering you, get out there and meet new people. If you're happy in yourself, you will have an easier time attracting women. And if you do meet a girl you like and who likes you, your lack of sexual experience won't matter. Everybody likes different things when they have sex and it's a matter of learning from each other.

AJG

Dudess wrote: »

OP, I have two female friends in their mid 20s who are very overweight but they don't give a ****, and as a result, they've been with loads of guys since they were 17/18, and both of them are in serious relationships now. They will need to lose the weight for their health eventually, but they don't need to lose it for their confidence.

You, however, do give a **** about your weight so I really think the answer to this is working on that immediately. And if you are afraid of meeting a girl you like and then being "clueless" in bed, an encounter with a prostitute isn't going to make you any more "expert" than you already are.

In fairness a woman whether overweight or not can generally get sex whenever they want. The ball is always in the woman's court. All they need do is say 'yes'. A man (especially with low self esteem) has got to work a hell of a lot harder. In very crude terms: 'A man in need will generally f**k anything when in need.

Sorry to be crude but over the years this is the general state of play I've come to expect.

BraziliaNZ

Dudess wrote: »

OP, I have two female friends in their mid 20s who are very overweight but they don't give a ****, and as a result, they've been with loads of guys since they were 17/18, and both of them are in serious relationships now. They will need to lose the weight for their health eventually, but they don't need to lose it for their confidence.

Oh come on dudess surely you're clever enough to know that this has absolutely no relevance to the man's situation?

Powerhouse

The OP should be made aware that the chances of catching an STD from an escort are very slim assuming a condomis used. Picking up a girl in a pub is probably on balance riskier behaviour.

I don't see what people's problem with the OP hasving a bit of fun is anyway. He may have other issue to address but an experienced woman to show him the ropes would help ease past a fair amount of apprehension which is no bad thing.

If the OP needs any advice on the do's and don'ts or how best to approach this please PM me.

Miss Fluff

If you have self-esteem issues, I'm not sure an escort is a road to go down. Will it really make you feel better OP? Why don't you try internet dating instead and build an actual friendship with someone which will hopefully turn into something more? You should also try Weight Watchers online if you would prefer not to attend a meeting.

Dudess

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Not a fair comparison. If she chooses, a girl can always find a guy to get with/score etc no matter her confidence or way she looks. This is not the case for guys.

AJG wrote: »

In fairness a woman whether overweight or not can generally get sex whenever they want. The ball is always in the woman's court. All they need do is say 'yes'. A man (especially with low self esteem) has got to work a hell of a lot harder. In very crude terms: 'A man in need will generally f**k anything when in need.

Sorry to be crude but over the years this is the general state of play I've come to expect.

I'd agree - that's why I feel the OP should focus on losing the weight. For his self esteem.

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Oh come on dudess surely you're clever enough to know that this has absolutely no relevance to the man's situation?

But he says he's uncomfortable with himself physically, hence his lack of sexual experience. A prostitute isn't gonna solve that.
Meh, I don't see anything wrong with him paying for sex but that's not gonna help him in the wider scheme of things. Losing weight for his self image will...

jube

I know the escort website your on about. Ive thought about it too, theres some gorgeous women on there, the kind I would never have a hope with in real life. Id be too embarrssed to do it though, its just a wierd situation. Ill just continue ****

LegacyUser

OP, I don't think there is anything wrong with using an escort, and I don't think you'll feel particularly bad for having done so. Thing is, you won't feel very good about it either, and I'm not talking morals here. It will leave you largely unfulfilled.

But if your primary concern is having sex just to see what it's like, then I see go for it. Consider it research. Bear in mind that it will be ridiculously expensive and that you'll probably ejaculate very quickly because escorts are very good at "priming" a penis before intercourse. If you go for it, insist on minimal fellatio and hand stimulation, and tell her what positions you'd like to try. Determine the price before you have sex, and decide whether you want to pay for half an hour or one hour. One hour will be more expensive, but at least you'll get to do it more than once, which is normally all that happens in a half-hour session.

I'd like to say that most escorts are very nice, friendly women and they will put you at ease. Tell her it's your first time.

Another thing I'd say is be careful you don't turn it into a habit. It's too expensive and, as I said, emotionally unfulfilling. The chances are that if you go once you'll feel a strong urge to go again. I'd caution against this. These urges can be nullified by masturbating.

Lastly, don't tell anyone you did it. Personally I don't think there's anything wrong with using an escort provided you're unattached, but a lot of people do have a hang up about it, especially women, and you don't want to give anyone a stick to beat you with.

Good luck OP!

Uh Oh!

wasper wrote: »

Go and find an escort & release your frustrations in a nice way. It's unhealthy not to have sex. But this is not a long term solution. You need to look at your life. You already said that you are fat. Well it's not the end of the world. As one of the guys here posted a link to fitness club. No one will be able to do anything for you if you don't want to change.

+ 1.