Would you give me the job?

tallaght01

I applied for a job a couple of weeks ago. It's a big balls job. I really want it, but it's a very competitive application process, with only 2 jobs up for grabs, and many many applicants.

I've spent the last 2 years doing everything I could to make myself more attractive for when this job came around. I think I've given myself a real fighting chance.

So, there's a bit of arselicking to be done before the formal interviews. I've had to go and meet some of the important people who I'd potentially be working for. Load of arse really, but it's gotta be done.

I had one of these meetings last week, and it went really well. The guy said he wanted to give me the job, and said I'd have his vote. So, this morning I was full of confidence when I had to go to one of other big shots' office and meet her and 3 of her bigboss colleagues.

I got up early for the 9am meeting and called a taxi. He arrived promptly, but he didn't know where he was going, and he got lost. At 0855 I was stuck in traffic with no sign of movement about half a mile from where I needed to go. So, I jumped out and ran like hell. It was BOILING weather, so I was pretty sweaty by the time of arrival.

I went into the meeting, and they sat me down, on this chair that had a very expensive suede back. We chatted for an hour, and things went really well. At one point they said "can you start on monday?". I was really chuffed.

Until I stood up to go home, that was. I shook their hands, and then it struck me that I hadn't realised just how much I'd been sweating.

There was this ****in HUGE wet patch on the suede that was against my back on the chair. I mean it was RINGING wet. They all saw it, and we pretended none of us saw it. But it was there, staring at us, like an inappropriate erection.

I couldn't get out of there quick enough. I mean, the furniture looked expensive as hell. It was a proper boardroom, with crazy antique furniture.

So, should I start looking for a new job? Or would you hire a guy who'd ruined your antique furnite with his bodily fluids if you thought he was the right man for the job?

If I do get the job am I likely to face the humiliation of having my office decked out with patio furniture?

Thanks for listening

BroomBurner

Lol I'm sorry, that's hilarious!!

If I was the employer, I woulnd't turn ya down just because you sweated a bit. So long as you were the best qualified for the job, you'de get it. Unless there is someone better/equally qualified...

Anyway, people talk, they'de know that you were running late (any chance of saying this to any of them now or did you on the day?), and also, if some of them know you already, they'll know if you're a Betty Swollicks regularly or if it was a once off

Ron DMC

Yeah, I wouldn't dwell on it to be honest. It is a hot day, they'll put it down to you hurrying/ being nervous. As long as you didn't stink the place out of it (did you?), otherwise you're grand.

tallaght01

Ronny Mitchell wrote: »

. As long as you didn't stink the place out of it (did you?), otherwise you're grand.

Dunno, i legged it as soon as I saw the stain. It was all very leisurely. Then suddenly I was like someone who was desperate for a piss. I was out that door like a hot snot.

Red Hand

Haha!!:D Just say,

"I'm Irish...never been in this heat before".

TequilaMockingBird

tallaght01 wrote: »

sweat, stain, antique furniture, sweat, stain.

Thanks for listening

Sorry, did you say something?

Eoin

tallaght01 wrote: »

They all saw it, and we pretended none of us saw it. But it was there, staring at us, like an inappropriate erection.

That's exactly what you should have mustered up to distract from the seat issue.

tallaght01

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Haha!!:D Just say,

"I'm Irish...never been in this heat before".

It's not far from the truth, mate. They think it's winter here, and I'm sweating like a badger's bollicks if I go for a walk to corner shop.

tribulus

I'd say it's fine.

Although sweating heavily and working with children can give the wrong impression!

(Tell me you're paeds yeah?!)

Ruu_Old

Hehe, been there before alright. *loud peel noise and squeek from vinyl chairs when getting up* :pac: You're hired!

the_syco

tallaght01 wrote: »

It's not far from the truth, mate. They think it's winter here, and I'm sweating like a badger's bollicks if I go for a walk to corner shop.

So what you're saying is: in the summer time, they'll know how late you are, by the puddle on the suede

clicli

I wouldn't worry about it too much, I arrived at an interview last week, soaked head to foot, had got caught in the rain, and got offered the job today!!

MIN2511

I LMAO big time reading this....

I would give you the job!:D

niceirishfella

If the interview is competency based, and not based on the way you perspire - you've got it in de bag going by the brown-nosing and BS you've been doing of late.

Well done!

LOL

darkskol

sorry but thats just funny, i'd say not to worry about it though, im sure you told them that you were running late

chopperbyrne

MIN2511 wrote: »

I LMAO big time reading this....

I would give you the job!:D

You still a bum?

I am

truecrippler

Jahsus, thats a lot of work to go through to get a job in McDonalds.

But, cool story man. I'd still hire ya. Just take some money out of your wages every week until the chair is replaced.

tallaght01

darkskol wrote: »

sorry but thats just funny, i'd say not to worry about it though, im sure you told them that you were running late

No, that;s the awful thing. I'd literally just sat down in the waiting area when they walked out to call me in. So, they just saw this sweaty-but-on-time paddy sitting there pretending to read a magazine casually

tallaght01

truecrippler wrote: »

Jahsus, thats a lot of work to go through to get a job in McDonalds.

You think that was bad? I had to have sex with Ronald mcDonald too.

And you thought his nose was big......

truecrippler

tallaght01 wrote: »

You think that was bad? I had to have sex with Ronald mcDonald too.

And you thought his nose was big......

Are you implying he has big feet too? :eek:

Ghost Train

just think of what an uncomfortable interview the other candidates will have sitting in your puddle.

Red Hand

tallaght01 wrote: »

You think that was bad? I had to have sex with Ronald mcDonald too.

And you thought his nose was big......

Was the Ham-Buggerler/Buggerer involved?

MIN2511

chopperbyrne wrote: »

You still a bum?

I am

Ah yes i am! Few interviews though... fingers crossed, are we really doing this knacker drinking?

You better come out on friday!:D

chopperbyrne

MIN2511 wrote: »

Ah yes i am! Few interviews though... fingers crossed, are we really doing this knacker drinking?

You better come out on friday!:D

I don't think we're really knacker drinking

I will be there on Friday and may have company......

the_syco

clicli wrote: »

I wouldn't worry about it too much, I arrived at an interview last week, soaked head to foot, had got caught in the rain, and got offered the job today!!

So, you come in... wet, and you get the job? Interesting...

/me strokes beard thoughtfully...

eolhc wrote: »

just think of what an uncomfortable interview the other candidates will have sitting in your puddle.

They'd be wondering what went on in the room, if they found out that "the guy who left the wet patch" got the job:D:eek:

AckwelFoley

tallaght01 wrote: »

It's not far from the truth, mate. They think it's winter here, and I'm sweating like a badger's bollicks if I go for a walk to corner shop.

dont do what i did and say "im sweating like a peophile in a barney suit"

Sherifu

That was an entertaining read. We're not built for the hot weather. Good luck with it anyway, can't see them ruling you out over a wet patch.

taidghbaby

will you be dealing with the public or clients often?

if so then sweating can be seen as a sign of nervousness and may work against you!

GrumPy

Piss take right? They liked you, offered you the job, told you to start on Monday and your worried they will change their minds over a moist chair?

For the record, I wouldn't gire you. People with poor hygiene are disgusting :pac:

randylonghorn

tribulus wrote: »

Although sweating heavily and working with children can give the wrong impression!

(Tell me you're paeds yeah?!)

He is, as you obviously knew!

Opened thread to pull the pish out of Tallaght as usual, found myself feeling strangely sympathetic (unnerving ... might need medical treatment! ).

Tbh, I doubt if it will matter much, different if the puddle had been on the seat!

Above all do not make a point of accosting and explaining to one of the interviewers what happened. If you happen to meet one and they casually say "good interview, well done!" or similar, you could just as casually say "God, thanks, it was nearly a disaster, the taxi got lost on the way in and I had to leg it the last half mile!" and swiftly move the conversation along, but bringing the subject up out of nowhere will do far more harm than good.

GrumPy wrote: »

told you to start on Monday

No, they asked him could he start on Monday, different thing.

GuanYin

I did sit in on an interview for a pediatric fellowship a few months ago where the interviewee's trouser zip was down. Not a good impression for a pediatric's fellowship. He didn't get the fellowship but it wasn't down to that. Good candidates are hard to find, if they like you, I doubt such things will stand against you.

MagicMarker

jaysus!! you must have been sweating bucket loads if you soaked through a whole suit onto a chair.

If i was sweating so much i would have apologised at the start of the interview for my appearance and explain the circumstances. If you did this then i doubt they'll hold it against you. If anything it will show your enthusiasm for the job in not wanting to be late.

But if you just sat there like a fool dripping in sweat they may think it was because of the pressure, and well, if ya can't take the pressure........

tallaght01

randylonghorn wrote: »

Opened thread to pull the pish out of Tallaght as usual, found myself feeling strangely sympathetic (unnerving ... might need medical treatment! ).

Mate, that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me...and no mention of "the snip" either :P

randylonghorn wrote: »

Above all do not make a point of accosting and explaining to one of the interviewers what happened. If you happen to meet one and they casually say "good interview, well done!" or similar, you could just as casually say "God, thanks, it was nearly a disaster, the taxi got lost on the way in and I had to leg it the last half mile!" and swiftly move the conversation along, but bringing the subject up out of nowhere will do far more harm than good.

.

That's exactly my plan, mate. I was htinking about saying something to them, but decided I'd just let it die (just like my hopes of employment :P )

MagicMarker wrote: »

jaysus!! you must have been sweating bucket loads if you soaked through a whole suit onto a chair.

..

hahahah no it wasn't a formal interview. Well, it wasn't supposed to be. the interview is in a few weeks. This was a kind of "meet the team" thing, and they'll tell you about the job etc. So, I was just just wearing a shirt. In Australia, even a tie is usually overkill.

xzanti

Well they do say it's good to come across a little nervous in an interview, shows your not cocky

Loopy

That cheered up my rotten morning no end..

I'd hire you Dude.. Whats a bit of sweat :P

tallaght01

looptheloop wrote: »

That cheered up my rotten morning no end..

I'd hire you Dude.. Whats a bit of sweat :P

Thank you

*tallaght01 gives looptheloop a HUGE sweaty, dripping wet hug* :P

kmick

Id say unless there is a candidate who is very close to you in experience etc you should be fine. I can see them crossing off the list

Candidate 1
College Education √
Work experience √
Communciation Skills √
Likeable √
Body Moisture √

Candidate 2
College Education √
Work experience √
Communciation Skills √
Likeable √
Body Moisture x

The Hill Billy

xzanti wrote: »

Well they do say it's good to come across a little nervous in an interview, shows your not cocky

Well, tallaght's certainly a little bit less 'cocky' than he was this time last year.

Suaimhneach

Lettuce know if you gettit!

ejmaztec

Sweat is one thing but incontinence is something entirely different.:P

GirlInterrupted

I think body fluid stains on my furniture would always be a stumblin block for me...

If it was smelly sweat its worse, but if the OP was adequately deodourised and everything else was in order I might overlook the stains.

But not if you were also breathing heavily or red in the face..:pac:

Earthhorse

As part of the background checking process I'd google you online and, upon finding the Christy Brown thread you started, put your file in the "Out" pile even as I added it to my favourites and put the phone on divert.

dade

at least it was the back of the chair that was wet, if it was the seat I'd be extremely worried

randylonghorn

tallaght01 wrote: »

Mate, that's the most beautiful thing you've ever said to me

Aw shucks!

Faceman'll be jealous ... >_>

tallaght01 wrote: »

...and no mention of "the snip" either :P

Couldn't see the relevance ... as I said (and as dade kindly repeated! :P) if the puddle had been on the seat it might have been a different story ...


Though in any case ...

Hill Billy wrote: »

Well, tallaght's certainly a little bit less 'cocky' than he was this time last year.

... you can still rest assured that between the lot of us you are never ever going to be allowed to forget it ...

niceirishfella

Tallaght01 - did you get the job?

tallaght01

niceirishfella wrote: »

Tallaght01 - did you get the job?

Don't know yet, mate. Tuesday was just a thing where I was meeting with potential emplyers. The official interview with the panel ins't for a few weeks yet.

I'll post on this thread one way or the other with the result

tallaght01

Just wanted to update this thread.

I'm not big headed enough think the users of AH care much about what goes on on my little world.

But since I posted this, I got several PMs from people asking me if I got the job. Some (most actually) are people I've never really had any contact with before, which was really cool of them.

In fact, the 3 most common PMs I get nowadays are, in no particular order:

1) Did you get that job, ya sweaty bollicks?

2) Did you find out if you caught the ghey yet?

3) Did you ever nail those sisters?

Well, today I got the call. I got the job

I'm very happy.

But I just wanted to say, more than anything else, fair play to people who've contacted me randomly about it.

Boards is full of the love :P

Cheers, guys.

PS, I still reckon I havent caught gayness, though I haven't managed to nail the sisters yet :P

Silenceisbliss

YEEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! *insert fireworks* w00000000000000t....... *give the man some deodrant* yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *more fireworks*

.......can i've some money???ß

brianthebard

Job? Who cares about the job, lets hear about the sisters! pics pls!

stovelid

http://images.ciao.com/iuk/images/products/normal/641/product-70641.jpg




*Congrats....

diamondp

but i thought there was no jobs with the "resession" haha joking of course. Congrats tallaght01.