cheesy chat up lines

loismustdie

any good ones? the winner of the funniest line gets a gold star

m83

Get your coat love.. I've got a knife!

Joe Cool

You don't sweat much for a fat bird...

Latchy

What's a bad girl like you doing in a nice place like this ?

Caco

Worst I ever said heard was:

"That top is very becoming on you... if I were on you, I'd becoming too!"

The Artist

I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince

Pride Fighter

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

cHaTbOx

hi, Im doin a survey ...what's your name? phone number? and are you free next saturday?

Joe Cool

Have I come across your face before?

Stephen90

Dya like cake dya? Ate this....

The Artist

If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

feylya

You'll do.

Standard Toaster

If you were a burger at McDonalds, you'd be a McGorgeous!

Fringe

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

genericgoon

Pride Fighter wrote: »

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Nobody beats Lord Flashheart from Blackadder for these. Personal favourite was
'Am I pleased to see you or did I just put a canoe in my pocket?':D

gandhi123

• I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.

• (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

• Nice legs...what time do they open?

• Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

• You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

• Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

• I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

• I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?

• I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

• Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

• I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

• Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.

• I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

• Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway the heaven?

• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

• Are those real?

• You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

• I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

• If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

• I lost my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

• You know if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

• You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

• F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?

• Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

• My name is (name)... remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

• Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

• Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

• My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. "

• Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

• My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

• I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

• I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?

• If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

• Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why, don't you like pizza?

• Baby, I'm an American Express lover... you shouldn't go home without me.

• Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?

• Do you wash your pants in Windex because I can see myself in them.

The Artist

now be a good girl and go to my room.

Pride Fighter

Suk me knob.

The Artist

Pride Fighter wrote: »

Suk me knob.

LOL.

Joe Cool

Hi, my name is <insert name here> but you can call me anytime.

Pride Fighter

The Artist wrote: »

LOL.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Sinfonia

Pride Fighter wrote: »

Suk me knob.

lol

Sherifu

loismustdie wrote: »

any good ones? the winner of the funniest line gets a gold star

Lets not turn this rape into a murder.

JangoFett

latchyco wrote: »

What's a bad girl like you doing in a nice place like this ?

I love that one, its smooth while being smothered in cheese

What do the ladies use? IF you use them of course, c'mon, you're modern women!

RxQueen

i got this one a while ago,

Do you like chesse? cause im both easy and single!


Yes yes i did laugh!:p

Steve_o

Is there a mirror in your knickers? Cause I can see myself in 'em.

LouOB

The names bond
Polybond

Im here to fill you're cracks

KTRIC

Wanna boi a dag boss ?

ronnie3585

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know but it's enough to break the ice.


I can smell the want off you.


I'm going home now for a wa*k and I'd like to put a name to the face.

Danimalito

"Is your dad in jail?"

"No, why?"

"If I were your dad I would be"

Homer

Pride Fighter wrote: »

Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me.

Bit of both.. This is a rape

grames_bond

if your left leg was breakfast and your right leg was lunch....could i eat between meals?!

girl you must be jamacian, because jamacian me crazy!!

Ruaidhri

G'day Jen!

* You've got the whitest teeth I've ever want to come across

* You:Want a f**k?
Her: No!
You:Well do you mind lieing down while I have one?
* My friend wants to know if you'll dance with me

D/C

• Hows your fanny for a lodger?
  
• Give us a go at your tits!
  
• Ur my wife now!

antodeco

You: Hey baby, so do you spit or swallow?
Her: **** off!!
You: Thats alrite, Ill just take you up the gicker then.


Works really well too:
Take out your lad and hold it in your hand (or 2 hands )
"Hey love, can I take your temperature?"

What do you get if you cross a pony and an eskimo?
..then just walk away.

Miss Pinky

LouOB wrote: »

The names bond
Polybond

Im here to fill you're cracks

LOL

CathyMoran

"Want to join the" (nameless political party which I disliked)...well it worked on me.

Retr0gamer

Do you like chicken? Well I've something for you to suck on and it's foul.

Diddy Kong

* For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

* You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.

Femelade

On sat night, i was out with my boyfriend, we were just about to leave when he went to the toilet, this guy walks up to me and stands beside me, after a while he leans over to me and says "do you want a wild night tonight"..
i just said "no".
he tried to continue talking to him, but i wasnt listening i was just looking at my boyfriend walking across the bar urging him to walk faster.

then last night we were out again, we were drinkingoutside a pub and my boyfriend walked up the road a bit to see how the queue outside the club was looking. This guy came over and asked me how was my evening , i told him it was grand, he said "oh you dont sound very entusiastic about it" i assured him, my evening was just fine. Then he said "are you sad that ye lost the match today, did you bet on kerry?" i just told him i was from cork..again i could see my boyfriend walking back and i was urging him to hurry.

I get the odd few chat up lines when out from drunk guys, but the last 2 nights were just wierd.

BuddhaJoe

I'm sure glad I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out!

lil'one

i was out with a mate, end of the night, waiting for a cab home and this fella comes up to her, tryin to be really smooth, he was a tool,when she told him she wasn't interested he told her she was makin a mistake then said "don't you know who i am?......(em....no)........I'm a county hurler!" never laughed so much

TeletextPear

oddest one ive had used on me was:
him: can i get your picture?
me: no
him: ahhh cmon, i want to show santa what i want for christmas

i lol'd

thefinalstage

TeletextPear wrote: »

oddest one ive had used on me was:
him: can i get your picture?
me: no
him: ahhh cmon, i want to show santa what i want for christmas

i lol'd

Woo, thats going in my play book!

The Artist

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

The Walsho

*Tap her on the shoulder* "Nice shoulder. Wanna have sex?"

Or : "I have this magic watch that tells me whether or not you're wearing underwear, and according to this, you're not." *they react shocked and appalled* "Oh sorry, it must be an hour fast.

Reganio 2

You want pumped!

roxy81

Is that a mirror between your legs? Because I can see myself in there.

LOL....so bad!

Stephen P

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't keep it in!

roxy81

stephen p wrote: »

My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't keep it in!

ROFL I love it!!

Duggy747

Is your name Gillette? Cuz you're the best a man can get!!

*Take out coin* If I flip this coin, what's the bets I'll get head?

You: "What winks and shags like a tiger?"
Her: "Wha?"
*You wink*

You: "Can I smell your fanny?"
Her: "Wait, what?...........NOOO!!"
You: "Hmm, must be your feet then."

I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away

You: "Can I have directions?"
Her: "To where?"
You: "To your heart"

You: Hey Baby ... Wanna dance?
Her : No.
You: Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

I'm not a chef, but I can pop cherries.

Is there an airport nearby or is that my heart taking off?

If you've lost your vaginity, can i have the box it came in?

Is you father a lumberjack? Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

You're so sweet you give me a toothache.

And my favourite:
Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."

Thank you, Thank you. Say them with enough Pizzaz and you won't get maced!