Puke in our garden - should I bring it up

LegacyUser

Hi, I know this may not be as big an issue as some of the others - but I cannot find another forum more suitable to post in.
What happened is, that our next door neighbours (couple in their late 20s) (we live in semi detached house, there is no wall dividing both our front gardens) decided to have a big party yesterday. That's fine, it's not like they do this every day/week, and although I'm 9 months pregnant and find it hard enough to sleep as it is, I didn't let myself get too bothered. They had two marquees in the back garden, and were playing VERY VERY loud music until around 5-6 am. This morning of course I was very tired but again, not going to cause a fuss over a one-off incident - that is until I discovered that someone threw up in our front garden beside our car. There are hand prints on our car door from where the person was obviously leaning against. I am so annoyed. It's also the side of the car furthest away from the neighbour - ie. going towards our other next door neighbours garden, so the person would've walked around in order to to this. Now I am extremely annoyed and trying to figure out how to bring this up with the neighbour - if at all. I really don't want trouble - but I don't want to let it drop either. I would imagine approaching them like :

me:how was your party
neighbour: great, hope it wasnt too loud
me: ah no, but I did find some sick in our garden this morning
neighbour: hopefully apologetic and embarrassed....

Anyway, the point of all this rant - should I mention this to the neighbour, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

Thanks for your advice...

seamus

I do think you're making a bit much of it.

Most of us have hosted or have attended a party that's gone on pretty late. As you say yourself, it's a one-off thing and people can get a bit drunk at these things - that's kind of out of the hosts' hands.

Chances are, whoever it was, was leaving when they felt they needed to get sick. Not really a whole lot the hosts can do about that.

If it was a regular thing or there was some damage done or something, then it would be worth bringing up, but I don't see what bringing this up would achieve.

Miss Fluff

Well considering you are about to give birth I don't think it's unreasonable that you should not be expected to clean up someone else's vomit. You can approach them reasonably about it by saying that they are good neighbours and that you know parties like this don't happen that often etc etc but that in your state you can't be expected to clean up puke obviously belonging to one of THEIR guests.

chickenhawk

If I was you I'd go to them and ask them how the party went. If they asked did they keep you awake etc just say no.

But I did notice someone got sick beside my car. Any chance you could just throw some water on it please?

Victor

I think you are over-reacting - it could have been any drrunk wandering past.

How about fingerprinting the car? Quick, do it befor ehte rain returns.

mrsdewinter

No point worrying about it. Basin of water, domestos, chuck it over yourself. You held your head high over the music... don't make a scene out of the vomit.
Good luck with the really important stuff, btw!

Abi

Oh fuck that shit. I wouldnt care how seldom they have parties in their home. Did they happen to mention that they were going to have a party? Have you been expertly hiding your bump for the last nine months?

I'd pop in next door alright, I'd be civil about it, but I wouldn't dampen how much it upset me. At nine months pregnant you need all the rest you can get, let alone having to clean up somebody elses vomit.


Heres how it would go:

Me: So I gather you had a party last night

Them: yeah, hope we werent too loud

Me: yeah actually you were yeah, but c'mere theres a pool of puke in
my garden from one of your guests, and umm Im not cleaning that up.

Them: Omg is there. Im so sorry about that.

Me: Really? show me how much with a bucket of hot water and some disinfectant

/Fin.


Houses are in on top of each other these days, so everybody needs to do their bit to keep the peace, and have some respect for their neighbours.

Thankfully I don't have neighbours beside me anymore, but I was quick enough to pick them up on anything in the past when I did.

Sherifu

Aggravated wrote: »

Anyway, the point of all this rant - should I mention this to the neighbour, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

In my opinion yes you are. You can't stop someone getting sick.

impr0v

Abigayle wrote: »

Houses are in on top of each other these days, so everybody needs to do their bit to keep the peace, and have some respect for their neighbours.

And, in order to keep things running smoothly, be tolerant and understanding if someone has a party once or twice during the summer.

OP I think you've been cool about the music etc., and done the right thing in that regard. The key fact is that they don't do this very often and it is the summer after all.

The puke is a bit out of order, certainly, but I don't think it's really bad enough to warrant raising a fuss, given that it can be fixed with, as someone already said, a basin of hot water with some domestos. If it is a thing that they do have another such shindig in the near future, then by all means object to that, and bring up the puke at that point.

I'm sure they're fairly reasonable people too and, once they see that your concerns are genuine, they'll take them on board. By raising this incident you risk them thinking that you're an unreasonable neighbour and not giving any weight to your concerns.

Abi

Sherifu wrote: »

You can't stop someone getting sick.

While I'd be inclined to agree- out of curiosity, who do you think should clean it up?

Make em clean it up.

Sherifu

Abigayle wrote: »

While I'd be inclined to agree- out of curiosity, who do you think should clean it up?

Sounds like a job for the county council.

reverandkenjami

Wouldn't be worth the hassle or embarrassement imo.. Just hose it down, not the end of the worl that someone threw up in your garden!! I'm sure you've done it once yourself(maybe not in a garden, but on a pavement) over the years!!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice.I rang my mam to ask for adivce (gas how we still do after flying the nest) She said to only mention it if I bump into them. I cannot imagine that the puke was from anyone not related to the party, as we live in a a quiet cul de sac, they have the corner house, there are no pubs etc nearby and lots of the houses are not even lived in yet on our estate. My boyfriend actually threw a couple buckets water over it himself as the puke was just at the driver door of our car, so would be impossible to get in without stepping in it. So I have decided to let it drop unless I see them in the next couple of days. Oh and they know I'm pregnant as they mentioned it before (not to mention I'm huge, with an otherwise slim frame!) Also we saw them hours before the party started and they did not mention that they were about to throw one.

Abi

Yore so right Sherifu, never thought of that.

reverandkenjami wrote: »

Wouldn't be worth the hassle or embarrassement imo.. Just hose it down, not the end of the worl that someone threw up in your garden!! I'm sure you've done it once yourself(maybe not in a garden, but on a pavement) over the years!!

While I agree its not the end of the world, it sets the precident for the kind of crap you are willing to take. I enjoy my drink as much as the next person, but when has it become socially acceptable to puke on other peoples property?

LegacyUser

Abigayle wrote: »

Yore so right Sherifu, never thought of that.





While I agree its not the end of the world, it sets the precident for the kind of crap you are willing to take. I enjoy my drink as much as the next person, but when has it become socially acceptable to puke on other peoples property?

Yes, you're right Abigayle about the whole taking crap off people thing. That said I usually give 1 chance. Like another poster said if it happened again I would then bring up the original incident too. Also now there is a football in our back and if it belongs to them next door (who don't have kids) I'll snap!

SarahSassy

Aggravated wrote: »

HThat's fine, it's not like they do this every day/week, and although I'm 9 months pregnant and find it hard enough to sleep as it is, I didn't let myself get too bothered.

You dont know that the person who puked was at their party... Obviously, the chances are he / she was but its over the top to mention it to your neighbours... Also they dont do it very often and while 5 am was very late, once in a while is not the end of the world.

SS

PS what has you being pregnant got to do with the price of milk? Should they have to act differently because you are pregnant?

4Xcut

Just make sure the baby's room shares a wall with their house....;)

Abi

SarahSassy wrote: »

what has you being pregnant got to do with the price of milk? Should they have to act differently because you are pregnant?

Because normal smells can make a pregnant woman puke, let alone having to deal with some inconsiderate cnuts vomit. That and the having to clean it up herself when shes full term in her pregnancy.

Yes, I did read that her husband cleaned it up. But the fact that she has someone to do it for her here is irrelevant, the pukee wouldnt have pondered this fact.


I assume that you've been pregnant yourself before to make that assumption

SarahSassy

The puking should not have happened full stop.. I just dont see why OP had to mention twice (only seeing those posts now... strange) that she is pregnant and also what difference it should make that the neighbours knew it.

SS

PS yes - I am the proud mother of 15 sprogs under 5 - they are my pride and joy... :rolleyes:

pixbyjohn

Sherifu wrote: »

Sounds like a job for the county council.

Now that is an outrageous answer.

Lollipops23

Hi OP,
I think it was pretty cheeky of them to have such a huuuge party when you're about to pop any day-as you said yourself, they are fully aware of it!My next door lot have 2 very ickle kids, so I usually avoid having any massive shindigs-apart from anything else i just don't want the hassle of having to deal with irrate neighbours!
However,they probably know nothing about the vomit-ya know how hard it is to keep track of all your drunken guests!!!I think you should mention it to them though-I'd fully expect my neighbours to say it to me if one of my mates hurled on their doorstep!:D

ergonomics

I was thinking that puke in the garden wasn't that big a deal but what happens after you have the baby? You won't be so calm when you're trying to get a baby to sleep and there's loud music playing until 5/6am. I know you said they don't always throw parties but it might be worth your while asking them to warn you next time you have a party cause you'll need all the sleep you can get!

MagicMarker

Abigayle wrote: »

Oh fuck that shit. I wouldnt care how seldom they have parties in their home. Did they happen to mention that they were going to have a party? Have you been expertly hiding your bump for the last nine months?

I'd pop in next door alright, I'd be civil about it, but I wouldn't dampen how much it upset me. At nine months pregnant you need all the rest you can get, let alone having to clean up somebody elses vomit.


Heres how it would go:

Me: So I gather you had a party last night

Them: yeah, hope we werent too loud

Me: yeah actually you were yeah, but c'mere theres a pool of puke in
my garden from one of your guests, and umm Im not cleaning that up.

Them: Omg is there. Im so sorry about that.

Me: Really? show me how much with a bucket of hot water and some disinfectant

/Fin.


Houses are in on top of each other these days, so everybody needs to do their bit to keep the peace, and have some respect for their neighbours.

Thankfully I don't have neighbours beside me anymore, but I was quick enough to pick them up on anything in the past when I did.

you're assuming that they'd be apologetic about it... Maybe they will just tell her to **** off and mind her own business, is that distress good for someone 9 months pregnant.

Personally, if the music was THAT loud at the party, i would have called the police.

Toots

OP, I think your mum gave you good advice there. I wouldn't go around to give out to them, but if you see them, I'd mention that not only did the party go on until an outrageous hour of the morning, that one of their guests puked in your driveway. Tell them that you had to clean it up (not your BF). I'm not saying that they should have to totally shut up shop at 11pm or anything, but a bit of cop on and consideration goes a long way. Having people in the house with a bit of music and cans until that hour of the morning is one thing. Having a marquee out the back pumping out music that late is just plain inconsiderate, especially when they know you are pregnant. What about the neighbours on the other side of them, or opposite? I'm sure it's not just you that was disturbed by this. What will happen when your baby arrives?

I know a colleague whose neighbours kids had a 'free gaff' and the next morning, there was a load of cans, bottles, and a pile of puke in her front garden, so she put it all in a plastic bag and left it on their doorstep. TBH, your neighbours are lucky you weren't banging their door down trying to get them to shut up. If you don't see them for another week or two, I'd let it go, but if it happens again, I'd actually call round while they're having the party and ask them to quieten down. Be nice, but be firm, if they don't quieten down, I wouldn't have any qualms about giving the Guards a call. And if there's any mess in your garden the next morning I'd call round to them and ask them to clean it up.

Abi

SarahSassy wrote: »

I just dont see why OP had to mention twice (only seeing those posts now... strange) that she is pregnant and also what difference it should make that the neighbours knew it.

Just because you couldn't give a crap, doesnt mean it wouldnt matter to some people.

PS yes - I am the proud mother of 15 sprogs under 5 - they are my pride and joy... :rolleyes:

Nothing like a big fat exaggeration to prove my point.

Thank you.

Sprouts

Just get anyone to throw a bucket over it, and say nothing Too many neighbors moan and fall out over the most trivial things. It would be different if it was every weekend, live and let live.

A.Partridge

Sprouts wrote: »

Just get anyone to throw a bucket over it, and say nothing Too many neighbors moan and fall out over the most trivial things. It would be different if it was every weekend, live and let live.

+1...and well said.

St_Crispin

The mad rthing is that if the vomit was from the party (and it probably was) is that it was some drunken asshole being considerate. One of their friends probably stumbled outside because the bathroom was taken and needed to vomit. Not wanting to vomit outside his friends house (that the bit where he was considerate) he stumbled as far as he could, went behind your car and spewed. Then he probably staggered off home. Your neighbours wouldn't have known about it.

Tusky

Sprouts wrote: »

Just get anyone to throw a bucket over it, and say nothing Too many neighbors moan and fall out over the most trivial things. It would be different if it was every weekend, live and let live.

This is the correct answer. It will take you all of 30 seconds to clean up. No need to cause a fuss.

Nevyn

There are some nasty possible health hazzards when it comes to cleaning up a strangers vomit I would be far from impressed.

But I am sure the tables will be turned soon enough when you have your baby and all all healthy babies they cry a fair bit and at all hours of the night.

LegacyUser

Firstly, me mentioning my pregnancy was just an aside to do with the noise levels. I am pretty tolerant to odd bit of noise, as who knows when I may be having a party in the future sometime.(never that loud now - but still) Now the music was very loud. I could from the front room clearly make out the song - it was like being in a nightclub. Anyway that I'm over. I would expect my neighbours to be reasonable and I also guess that as someone pointed out that my neighbours are not even aware that one of their guests spewed in our garden. I'm actually surprised that no one else complained but that said they're on the corner - the other side of their house is a field. My other next door neighbours are away. I guess the people at the back of us are fairly tolerant. Like I said I wont be nasty and will only mention it if I happen to meet them and we happen to bring the party up in the next day or two. Otherwise it isn't worth it. I was just a lot more emotional about the whole thing this morning!

MissHoneyBun

I find it very irritating how often pregnant women expect the rest of the world to cater for the fact that they got knocked up. I'm sure there are people who are depressed, bereaved, terminally ill, all suffering much more than any pregnant female yet dont make public announcements precipitating attention and sympathy. You seem to expect others to make allowances for your personal condition OP, perhaps you might do the same for your neighbour on this occasion?

SarahSassy

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I find it very irritating how often pregnant women expect the rest of the world to cater for the fact that they got knocked up. I'm sure there are people who are depressed, bereaved, terminally ill, all suffering much more than any pregnant female yet dont make public announcements precipitating attention and sympathy. You seem to expect others to make allowances for your personal condition OP, perhaps you might do the same for your neighbour on this occasion?

+100

MJOR

I'd definately say it to them.... And about the music it is a bit full on when you are pregnant.

Abi

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I find it very irritating how often pregnant women expect the rest of the world to cater for the fact that they got knocked up. I'm sure there are people who are depressed, bereaved, terminally ill, all suffering much more than any pregnant female yet dont make public announcements precipitating attention and sympathy. You seem to expect others to make allowances for your personal condition OP, perhaps you might do the same for your neighbour on this occasion?

The posters issue is not about her pregnancy, the pregnancy was merely a side note, and she has said this in one of her recent posts.

Why would you try make that the primary topic here? The issue is about her neighbours guest leaving vomit in her garden.

Nevyn

SarahSassy and MissHoneyBun you can grind those axes elsewhere I suggest humanities as they are off topic in this thread.

dothis

I think that this is being blown up way too much. People have parties. They make lots of noise sometimes. Sometimes the guests do things they shouldn't do. If you wanted to run the risk of falling out with them then you could have asked them to clean it up. I wouldn't have.

Loud music occurs at parties with young people these days :-) Maybe your baby will disturb them in a few months.

bored and tired

pregnancy and vomit aside, im surprised that the op wasnt invited along with her partner to the party, never mind that she saw them earlier on that day and they didnt mention the fact that they were having a party.

I would never dream of having a partly without inviting the neighbours, its just good manners. And i live in the country so there is only the cows to complain about the noise.

bug

If its really bothering you and there is no one else in your house to clean it up for you, I would ask the neighbour nicely to use your hose and get rid of it cos you can't face it/ do it being pregnant and all. I would ask in a 'lil help please?.. way.

If they said no or didnt give a hand I'd be a little less tolerant in future.

ShoulderChip

It will go away in time leave it there.

craichoe

Tusky wrote: »

This is the correct answer. It will take you all of 30 seconds to clean up. No need to cause a fuss.

Tell you what, i'll stand on the roof of your car and take a massive sh*t.

Sure it'll only take 30 seconds to hose off.

If they got sick in the Neighbours house they'd have to clean it.

LegacyUser

MissHoneyBun wrote: »

I find it very irritating how often pregnant women expect the rest of the world to cater for the fact that they got knocked up. I'm sure there are people who are depressed, bereaved, terminally ill, all suffering much more than any pregnant female yet dont make public announcements precipitating attention and sympathy. You seem to expect others to make allowances for your personal condition OP, perhaps you might do the same for your neighbour on this occasion?

I thought I already pointed out that I mentioned my pregnancy more as an aside as I was probably feeling sorry for myself that morning. I was mentioning that in relation to the noise levels, but I also said that I got over that as it's not like they have a party every weekend, and of course I'll have a noisy little one running around soon too.
My main aggravation was at the vomit only, and my pregnancy doesn't come into it - I think it's disgusting either way, so please don't jump down my throat for 'getting knocked up'

dudara

craichoe That comment was completely unacceptable. Please refrain in future.

Never mind the pregnancy, it was rude of your neighbours not to give you a heads up about the party (espcially as it appears a fair level of planning went into it - 2 marquees).

Secondly, a puddle of puke is never tolerable. But is it worth approaching the neighbours over? I think your mother's advice was spot on in this respect. It's worth a mention, if you get the chance. It's not worth going over there deliberately.

How Strange

Thaedydal wrote: »

There are some nasty possible health hazzards when it comes to cleaning up a strangers vomit I would be far from impressed.

But I am sure the tables will be turned soon enough when you have your baby and all all healthy babies they cry a fair bit and at all hours of the night.

+1
OP, there's nothing like being woken up the sound of a crying baby next door to annoy you at 2am.

I agree that you should just wash the vomit away. Living cheek to jowl with people isn't easy and your baby will wake them up on more than a few occasions over the next couple of years and they won't say a word to you about it no matter how irritating it gets.

However, you mention the vomit then they start mentioning that your baby keeps them awake because they think feck her she was quick enough to mention the puke and the whole thing descends into avoidable pettiness.

CPT. SURF

im surprised that the op wasnt invited along with her partner to the party, never mind that she saw them earlier on that day and they didnt mention the fact that they were having a party.

Maybe because she is the nitpicking annoying neighbor that they are hoping will move out when her family has finally gotten too big for the semi-d?

Abi

CPT. SURF wrote: »

Maybe because she is the nitpicking annoying neighbor that they are hoping will move out when her family has finally gotten too big for the semi-d?

That post serves no other purpose than trying to get a rise out of the OP. Try again, and this time come up with something useful.

LegacyUser

CPT. SURF wrote: »

Maybe because she is the nitpicking annoying neighbor that they are hoping will move out when her family has finally gotten too big for the semi-d?

Mod(s) may I suggest you close this thread as for me the issue has been resolved and I don't see the benefit in people posting just to be rude.
I had a genuine complaint - I have decided not to initate any contact with my neighbour because of it. Until this point I have had no complaints with them and things have been pleasant between us both. This puke thing annoyed me yesterday morning (which I'm sure is reasonable). I have indeed decided it is not worth potentially ruining the relationship with the neighbour for, so why are people still being so rude? It's fine to point out that I may be making mountains of molehills etc if that is your point of view, but why post just to offend??

dudara

Closed at OP's request.

dudara