Stunned, stuck for words

Bog Man

I had planned a week long break in Spain for me and my gf of some months. We were due to go in three weeks time. I organised for my ex wife to take our children for the week. On Sunday evening my ex rang me to say she couldnt now take the kids as something had 'come up'. I was annoyed but not all that surprised. I rang around the rest of the family but couldnt sort anything out.
So i had to ring my gf *** and explain. She was obviously disappointed but didnt give me a hard time. Following day she rang me back to tell me that she had thought about it and that I should ring the travel agent to arrange to bring the kids with us if possible. I said I would love to but it would hardly be a rosemantic break with mini-me & rock chick in toe. She just said that we could still have time alone together. She also said she really likes the kids and enjoys their company and would like to know them better.
We went into the travel agents this morning, I parted with cash and the problem was solved.
We went to lunch together and she just said that she loves me to bits and would love for us to live together. I kinda laughed and just said 'like an old married pair'. Her reply was 'exactly'. I asked if that was a proposal and she said 'yes'. I panicked, I stuttered & stammered and just said could I think about it for an hour or two.
I am in work & cant think straight. I havent got a divorce yet so marriage is not possible. What about the kids? I have had one ruinous marriage already.
I want to but what if this goes wrong? I am 45 & this girl is just turned 36 and feckin gorgeous. I want to be with her & think about her when she isnt there. But what if it all goes wrong. Her husband died only a few years ago and she loved him I know -am I a rebound? I love her either way.
My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.
I wont make a decision on the basis of your advice but writing it helps me concentrate the mind.

Big Knox

Bog Man wrote: »

My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.

.

jellie

gut instincts are usually right noone can make the decision for you as youve said, but if youve someone you love who loves you, surely its worth the risk? yeah i know its not the simple.. but i love love

Nevyn

Bog Man wrote: »

My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.

She seems to love you and accept you and your kids, so go to her and kiss her and find time to talk about what may happen and plan and discuss it all and enjoy your holiday.

Riskymove

There are no guarantees in Life OP

what if?....what if?......what if?....

you could be here all day!!

What if you look back years from now and are sorry about not following your instinct?

go for it

Storm_rages

Go with your gut! but also don't rush things... its a big decision and not one to be made lightly ! so think about it ... but do listen to what your heart says!

dr.bollocko

Awwwwwwwww.
Thats all I can say.
you have melted my icy heart.
Go be romantic Bog Man!

NextSteps

Go! Go! Go!

melon_collie

Go to her job right now! That's an order

afatbollix

finnally a good nice post in PI...


go get her my son!!!

Ian Beale

I'm sorry to be harsh but your being very stupid






Log out of boards get off your backside and say yes.That is all


Oh congratulations too

Bog Man

Have hung the closed sign on the front door.
I am like a flippin teenager.
Logging off now - I have business to do:D

WilmaRidesAgain

GO BOG MAN!!!

There is a time to be sensible THIS IS NOT IT!!!

stovelid

She sounds great.

Go with your heart.

Ian Beale

You can put a closed sign on a bog?Wait a bog with a front door?.....interesting oh and 21 mins to think about time

meditraitor

Bog Man wrote: »

I had planned a week long break in Spain for me and my gf of some months. We were due to go in three weeks time. I organised for my ex wife to take our children for the week. On Sunday evening my ex rang me to say she couldnt now take the kids as something had 'come up'. I was annoyed but not all that surprised. I rang around the rest of the family but couldnt sort anything out.
So i had to ring my gf *** and explain. She was obviously disappointed but didnt give me a hard time. Following day she rang me back to tell me that she had thought about it and that I should ring the travel agent to arrange to bring the kids with us if possible. I said I would love to but it would hardly be a rosemantic break with mini-me & rock chick in toe. She just said that we could still have time alone together. She also said she really likes the kids and enjoys their company and would like to know them better.
We went into the travel agents this morning, I parted with cash and the problem was solved.
We went to lunch together and she just said that she loves me to bits and would love for us to live together. I kinda laughed and just said 'like an old married pair'. Her reply was 'exactly'. I asked if that was a proposal and she said 'yes'. I panicked, I stuttered & stammered and just said could I think about it for an hour or two.
I am in work & cant think straight. I havent got a divorce yet so marriage is not possible. What about the kids? I have had one ruinous marriage already.
I want to but what if this goes wrong? I am 45 & this girl is just turned 36 and feckin gorgeous. I want to be with her & think about her when she isnt there. But what if it all goes wrong. Her husband died only a few years ago and she loved him I know -am I a rebound? I love her either way.
My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.
I wont make a decision on the basis of your advice but writing it helps me concentrate the mind.

Lucky you, go for it;)

Kur4mA

GWAAAN YE GOOD TING!!!

death1234567

go with your gut, unless that feeling is just a dodgy curry you had at lunch. Let us know how you get on. Good Luck

MJOR

go grab a bunch of flowers and sweep her off her feet! Woo hoo let me know how it goes.
I am such a romantic!!:o:o:o:o:o

Carroller16

Go for it... Just say yes and see where it takes you I'm only 20 and I realise i'm saying no too much and it's getting me nowhere

LadyE

Awww this is so sweet!

Best of luck OP!!

Cheeky_gal

awwwwwwwww
Go get her tiger!!
Raaaaaaaaarrr !

Whispered

Congratulations!

funk-you

Good luck man. All the best.

-Funk

deebee08

Listen, you're getting a second chance here so dont pass it up...a lot of people dont get that!!!

So good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

Aurora Borealis

sar84 wrote: »

gut instincts are usually right noone can make the decision for you as youve said, but if youve someone you love who loves you, surely its worth the risk? yeah i know its not the simple.. but i love love

+ infinity

RedXIV

Congrats man, nice to see a good PI once in a while.

All the best!

secman

Sorry to be a party pooper, he said his gf of some MONTHS ! Do they really know each other. He wondered himself if his widow gf was on a rebound ?


Secman

Try1ng

Go for it and best of luck

LadyE

secman wrote: »

Sorry to be a party pooper, he said his gf of some MONTHS ! Do they really know each other. He wondered himself if his widow gf was on a rebound ?


Secman

But she loves his children..and loves him...she asked him to marry her...you dont commit that much for someone on the rebound!! Thats his insecurity..not hers!

Wibbs

I think your gut is right and I would go for it. I also think you're dead right about just getting it out without looking for opinions per se.

I can also understand why you would be taken aback. You've been burned before and the thoughts of being burnt again are naturally gonna play on your mind at least somewhat. Been there, on more than one occasion. OK twice.

I do think that at both your stages of the game, the silly games are well eased off. She loves you, she loves your kids and it seems shows you that love and affection freely. There are many, men and women, that would throw a stroppette over your kids being foisted upon them on short notice coming up to a break for both of you. She wants the whole package that is you. In my humble that's rare enough on it's own.

I really don't think you're a rebound either. My rebound detector is well sensitive, having both been one and used someone as one(thankfully years ago). She lost her husband and that will have played on her mind too. That's a hell of a shock to the system, but still she opened herself up and fell for you and opened up to your life(which would have naturally worried her with the existing family) and you opened up to hers.

I think you're a lucky guy and for what it's worth from what you've written she's not the unluckiest either.:D

So after all that rambling crapola I'll add to the consensus and say go for it. Even though I've been burned in the past, I hope I've learned enough that I'll see the person who gets and loves me when it happens. I probably won't though and will write an even bigger Heeeeeellllp! here.:D

Silverfish

Bog Man wrote: »

I love her either way.
My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.

What Wibbs said.


Go go go go go go go.

fuzzywiggle

what a nice story! Best of luck..hope it all works out for you!

CathyMoran

What a lovely story - go after her boy!

Enright

made my day reading the post!

best of luck and congrats

Pherekydes

Christ, you lucky git. I know what I'd be doing.

What are you waiting for...

dreamr

Bog man, do we get an update?

did you go with the gut recation??

Loopy

Oh that's lovely.. Its not that often you read nice uplifting stories in PI.

Like everyone else, I say GO FOR IT...

Anti

Let us know how this works out

dudara

I just love the outpouring of goodwill on this thread.

I think that it's safe to say that we're all waiting here for some good news.

dudara

AngryBadger

Best. PI. Ever.

Go OP! I bet they're enjoying some celebratory intimacy in the stationary closet right now, possibly atop some crushed flowers and surrounded by singing cherubs

This sounds THAT awesome!

Fionn

Tennyson had a handle on it i think,

I hold it true, whate'er befall
I feel it, when I sorrow most
Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Ya dont always get a second chance - go on boy!!

Miss Fluff

Ooh reminds me of the ending of the film An Officer and a Gentleman where he goes and sweeps her off her feet at work. Swoooooooon. You're doing the right thing OP, how exciting!!:)

Wurly

Bog Man wrote: »

I had planned a week long break in Spain for me and my gf of some months. We were due to go in three weeks time. I organised for my ex wife to take our children for the week. On Sunday evening my ex rang me to say she couldnt now take the kids as something had 'come up'. I was annoyed but not all that surprised. I rang around the rest of the family but couldnt sort anything out.
So i had to ring my gf *** and explain. She was obviously disappointed but didnt give me a hard time. Following day she rang me back to tell me that she had thought about it and that I should ring the travel agent to arrange to bring the kids with us if possible. I said I would love to but it would hardly be a rosemantic break with mini-me & rock chick in toe. She just said that we could still have time alone together. She also said she really likes the kids and enjoys their company and would like to know them better.
We went into the travel agents this morning, I parted with cash and the problem was solved.
We went to lunch together and she just said that she loves me to bits and would love for us to live together. I kinda laughed and just said 'like an old married pair'. Her reply was 'exactly'. I asked if that was a proposal and she said 'yes'. I panicked, I stuttered & stammered and just said could I think about it for an hour or two.
I am in work & cant think straight. I havent got a divorce yet so marriage is not possible. What about the kids? I have had one ruinous marriage already.
I want to but what if this goes wrong? I am 45 & this girl is just turned 36 and feckin gorgeous. I want to be with her & think about her when she isnt there. But what if it all goes wrong. Her husband died only a few years ago and she loved him I know -am I a rebound? I love her either way.
My gut instinct says go to her job right now, lift her off the ground and kiss her and dont let her get away.
I wont make a decision on the basis of your advice but writing it helps me concentrate the mind.

OP, it sounds like she is a winner to me. She loves you and adores your kids. Brilliant.

I realise you're scared but just because one marraige doesn't work out, it doesn't mean that the second one won't.

Wanting something and being ready for it are two different things.

If I was her, I would like you to talk to me. Tell me that your scared and would maybe like to wait until your divorce comes through. Maybe live together for a while and then discuss marraige down the line. Tell her you envisage a future together but that due to your past, you would like to take things at a steady pace.

I would prefer that than you potentially clamming up and retreating into yourself.

Talk to her. She sounds nice and i'm sure she'll understand.

After what you've been through with your divorce etc, you deserve this nice lady in your life. So don't let her get away. Good luck.;)

Ginny

Good luck Bog Man hope everything works out well for you..:D
Me? I'd go with my gut,
Nicest PI in ages.

LoanShark

WELL????

WHAT HAPPENED??

I feel like its the ending of Cable Guy When they are waiting for the verdict and the satelite breaks....

MagicMarker

Errr... well, sorry to not follow the trend...

But i would actually be a little dubious tbh...

You've only been together a few months, you're paying for her to go on holiday etc etc... I would question her intentions.

Of course, i'm basing this on the small amount of info provided.

But best of luck none the less.

Ah-Watch

Ian Beale wrote: »

I'm sorry to be harsh but your being very stupid






Log out of boards get off your backside and say yes.That is all


Oh congratulations too

Ian Beale speaks sense-Who'd've thunk it? I mean that in the nicest possible way:D;)

[Jackass]

GO BOG MAN!!

Haha....haven't heard back...they must still be "celebrating"

Good job man, congratualtions.

Wagon

Fair play!

Drummerboy2

Its great to hear a happy story on here. No disrespect to all the other problem posts but this guy has a wonderful opportunity. I'm happy for you Bogman. Go for it.