personal issues and mods - f*cked off

tiptap

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055324738&page=2


Typical, I get a Ban threat from Thea ..

Some mods just don't have a clue on that forum..
I suppose this will be locked as well rather something constructive...

Nerin

what do you expect?you started bitching about mods on thread.
wtf do you want???

Mena

Nerin wrote: »

what do you expect?you started bitching about mods on thread.
wtf do you want???

Looked more like dragging the thread way off topic to me, a no no in PI.

tiptap

Nerin wrote: »

what do you expect?you started bitching about mods on thread.
wtf do you want???

WTF do I want ? Charming Nerin.

Very constructive & intelligent of you.

Case closed. Lock it, I couldn't be arsed actually.

tiptap

Mena wrote: »

Looked more like dragging the thread way off topic to me, a no no in PI.

My first post wasn't dragged off topic, I asked some very valid questions to the OP. Granted I started the post with how I felt with the mods post, but after that, it was valid.

stovelid

tiptap wrote: »

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055324738&page=2
Typical, I get a Ban threat from Thea ..
Some mods just don't have a clue on that forum..
I suppose this will be locked as well rather something constructive...

The mod whose post you initially had an issue with isn't a mod of that forum, i.e just a normal user in PI. If you had an issue with what they're saying, just report the post.

Nerin

tiptap wrote: »

WTF do I want ? Charming Nerin.

Very constructive & intelligent of you.

Case closed. Lock it, I couldn't be arsed actually.

well, im just asking you a question, one of so many that needs to be answered :rolleyes:

the mods were replying as users, and giving their views,then you expect them to give, what, better advice just because they are mods?
what is it you want from them?
bitching about the mods on that thread takes things off topic, which as mena said is a no no. why are you surprised you got told to cop on.

Kur4mA

Rb

Your behaviour on that thread, one which someone is looking for advice, is appalling. Don't bicker or berate anyone else whilst someone is asking for help for their serious problem. If you've an issue with someones advice, report the post or contact the mod via pm. In thread is not the place to do it.

Nevyn

And aren't you lucky you just got a warning and not an infraction or a ban right off the bat.

Posters are expected to read the rules in the charter and abide them and when they don't
we have to ban them which is a pain in the arse all cos someont things the rules don't apply to them, I didn't have warn you, infact I should not have to warn you.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=56413937&postcount=13

Is the post that got you warned, it is off topic and not helpful.

And if you really are to lazy to copy and paste my nick then at least use the correct shortened version of Thaed.

Rb

Nerin wrote: »

the mods were replying as users, and giving their views,then you expect them to give, what, better advice just because they are mods?

Exactly OP. They're moderators and not volunteer counsellors.

Sully

Can we ease up on the cat picks folks? Not every thread needs them only a few posts in

OP: If you have an issue with how a forum is being run - take it to Feedback. If you have a problem with a mod of a forum - probably better to go to Help Desk, but you may post your issue in Feedback also. The wrong place to do either of the above is on the forum itself - you have been asked nicely to stop and go to Feedback or you will be banned.

Fully support the actions of the moderator, and it complies fully with a general Boards.ie site wide policy.

EDIT: To add to the above. A mod is a volunteer, and not paid to moderate the site. In the posts by the mods in question, they were giving an opinion (which they are entitled to give, within reason of course) and not actually doing any moderation.

dudara

As mods, we can't offer advice on every post, and if we do, there's no guarantee that we're "the best".

Why couldn't you have taken a deep breath if you had a problem with something, and then used the "report post" function, sent a PM or taken it to feedback.

We ask people to post in a considered fashion on PI.

tiptap

Hands up, I made a mistake, I admit..
You're right, I didn't go through the charter properly and I should have taken it outside the thread in question.

I just get really hot tempered, when such bad advice, horrific actually (And I'll stand my ground on this one) is given when such minute information is at hand.

Nevyn

ok just don't do it again.

As for the thread you could have civilly posted your disagreement, I do think it is not as black and white as some people make it out to be and that breaking up a family should never be done lightly and not with out exhausting what ever other possible options.

dudara

tiptap wrote: »

I just get really hot tempered, when such bad advice, horrific actually (And I'll stand my ground on this one) is given when such minute information is at hand.

A fair point on your part - just please try to post why you disagree in future. More people will understand your point of view as a result.

Pherekydes

tiptap wrote: »

... when such bad advice, horrific actually (And I'll stand my ground on this one) is given when such minute information is at hand.

What gives YOU the right to decide if advice is good or bad? Only the OP can decide that. ALL advice is given by people in good faith. Many people offering advice have been through almost ANY situation that comes up.

It's advice. The OP can decide if it's good or bad.

I'm not a mod of that forum. I'm just an ordinary joe soap user when I post there.

tiptap

Pherekydes wrote: »

What gives YOU the right to decide if advice is good or bad? Only the OP can decide that. ALL advice is given by people in good faith. Many people offering advice have been through almost ANY situation that comes up.

It's advice. The OP can decide if it's good or bad.

I'm not a mod of that forum. I'm just an ordinary joe soap user when I post there.

I'll tell you why it's bad advice then.
It's bad advice (purely based now on the OPs original post) because we don't know enough information. Two sides to every coin etc. etc.

As thea pointed out, break ups of marriages with kids should be a last resort until all other avenues are explored.

To give such a serious piece of advice (leave him basically) is just insane, given the information that we have, it's that simple.

What gives me the right, well, I have experience in this subject matter, ALL TOO WELL.

Silverfish

tiptap wrote: »

I'll tell you why it's bad advice then.
It's bad advice (purely based now on the OPs original post) because we don't know enough information. Two sides to every coin etc. etc.

As thea pointed out, break ups of marriages with kids should be a last resort until all other avenues are explored.

To give such a serious piece of advice (leave him basically) is just insane, given the information that we have, it's that simple.

What gives me the right, well, I have experience in this subject matter, ALL TOO WELL.

We can only go on what the poster tells us.

I have experience in that subject matter too, and my advice was the same as everyone elses.

tiptap

Silverfish wrote: »

We can only go on what the poster tells us.

I have experience in that subject matter too, and my advice was the same as everyone elses.

Exactly, we can only go on what the poster tells us.
But do you not think, especially from someone with experience in this area, should go back and ascertain the situation in more detail, rather than just dive in and suggest to get out. That's what's bothering me.

Silverfish

tiptap wrote: »

Exactly, we can only go on what the poster tells us.
But do you not think, especially from someone with experience in this area, should go back and ascertain the situation in more detail, rather than just dive in and suggest to get out. That's what's bothering me.

Opinions Differ on Internet Shocker!

Millions stunned!


"I couldn't believe it' an onlooker commented.
'They must have had different experiences!' mused a moderator.

More at 11.

dudara

tiptap wrote: »

But do you not think, especially from someone with experience in this area, should go back and ascertain the situation in more detail, rather than just dive in and suggest to get out.

Us mods are not all knowing and super-sensitive. We offer advice just like anyone else. We keep law and order and coherence on the forum. The fact that we have a fair bit of life experience between us helps but by no means are we definitive.

Don't be expecting us to be paragons of wisdom - you could be sorely disappointed. Wibbs' advice was short - that is all. Because he is a mod doesn't make it worse.

tiptap

Silverfish wrote: »

Opinions Differ on Internet Shocker!

Millions stunned!


"I couldn't believe it' an onlooker commented.
'They must have had different experiences!' mused a moderator.

More at 11.

How old are you ?

You still don't get it.

Silverfish

tiptap wrote: »

How old are you ?

You still don't get it.

No I think you don't.


We (other posters) are as entitled to give an opinion as you are. If you don't like it, add your opinion. Don't start wailing that our advice is 'wrong'. You don't know any more than anyone else.

tiptap

Silverfish wrote: »

No I think you don't.


We (other posters) are as entitled to give an opinion as you are. If you don't like it, add your opinion. Don't start wailing that our advice is 'wrong'. You don't know any more than anyone else.

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions.
But the advice is wrong given the information as I've said before, it's that black and white.

To say I don't know more than anyone is just ridiculous. I know more than the average joe about this topic, and admittedly, there are many who have far more knowledge.

Silverfish

tiptap wrote: »

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions.
But the advice is wrong given the information as I've said before, it's that black and white.

To say I don't know more than anyone is just ridiculous. I know more than the average joe about this topic, and admittedly, there are many who have far more knowledge.

What's to say the other posters aren't amongst those people who have far more knowledge then?

PeakOutput

tiptap wrote: »

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions.

correct

But the advice is wrong given the information as I've said before, it's that black and white.

please see your own quote their opinion of how she should act is wrong IN YOUR OPINION it is up to the op to decide

nothing is black and white

tiptap

PeakOutput wrote: »

correct



please see your own quote their opinion of how she should act is wrong IN YOUR OPINION it is up to the op to decide

nothing is black and white

I mean black and white in terms of the right thing to say and the wrong thing to say. Not the OPs post been black or white.

tiptap

Silverfish wrote: »

What's to say the other posters aren't amongst those people who have far more knowledge then?

Absolutely nothing,
but it's those people I would be expecting to ask more questions and more details about the OPs problem.

the_syco

tiptap wrote: »

I just get really hot tempered, when such bad advice, horrific actually (And I'll stand my ground on this one) is given when such minute information is at hand.

tiptap wrote: »

Of course everyone is entitled to their opinions.

But you gave out when someone did.

tiptap wrote: »

From the one paragraph the OP has written, there is no way whatsoever we can advise on her leaving her husband. NO ONE CAN based on that information.

Oh, and the OP said that the hubbie threatened to kill her. ERM... THIS IS A REASON TO RUN AWAY.

PeakOutput

tiptap wrote: »

I mean black and white in terms of the right thing to say and the wrong thing to say. Not the OPs post been black or white.

so your opinion is right and anyone who thinks different is automatically wrong? computer + keyboard + poster does not an expert make

they gave advice you dont like it, tough thats their opinion all you have in rebuttle is another opinion

see abigayles signature for more info on opinions

edit; i used the word opinion alot in that post huh?

Silverfish

PeakOutput wrote: »

so your opinion is right and anyone who thinks different is automatically wrong? computer + keyboard + poster does not an expert make

they gave advice you dont like it, tough thats their opinion all you have in rebuttle is another opinion

see abigayles signature for more info on opinions

edit; i used the word opinion alot in that post huh?

That's your opinion.

tiptap

PeakOutput wrote: »

so your opinion is right and anyone who thinks different is automatically wrong? computer + keyboard + poster does not an expert make

they gave advice you dont like it, tough thats their opinion all you have in rebuttle is another opinion

see abigayles signature for more info on opinions

edit; i used the word opinion alot in that post huh?

The advice they gave, yes, it may be correct, what I am trying to put across is the fact that you cannot base that assumption purely on the original post.

Wibbs

OK as I saw it, he has a "bad temper" he's already threatened her. She feels trapped and unsupported. She has the financial burden of the entire family. She has already asked to sit down with him and discussed it and he has refused. She feels sick with the tension and responsibility of the whole thing. etc. The bad temper is enough as far as I'm concerned. It's no good for her, for the kids or indeed him.

So my short and sweet answer was leave. Doesn't mean she can't go back if things improve and he actually mans up and gets help for whatever ails him and acts like a husband and more to the point a father to his kids. If it turns out she's winding him up or he's depressed and they both get help then fine, but something has to happen or I'll bet the farm that this will get worse not better. A genuine move to leave the marriage and status quo could well be the best action so that's how I put it short and sweet.

It's an opinion and an option and can be taken or not taken as either. I further added the codicil that better counsel would surely come along. Indeed put it in first. It seems better counsel did come along.

In any case I was posting as a fellow user, not a mod. In any event mods aren't experts. Don't claim to be. I certainly don't. Mods are only there to keep things on an even keel. Sometimes fail in that too. Last time I looked my water into wine abilities were sorely lacking, mores the pity.

Users and indeed that entire forum is ther purely to get a different opinion. Nothing more. Could be a wrong one, could be a right one. 99% of the time people in difficulties are advised rightly to seek professional help.

If my rantings help. Coolaboola, if they can't or cause offence then that's what the system of feedback or PM's is there for.

I'll also call mea culpa if need be too. Have in the past(did do yesterday in fact) will doubtless do so in the future.

So then you get your knickers in a bunch which is cool too by the way but rather than actually read the rules of the forum which is at the top of each and every forum and take it either to PM or to feedback, you derail the thread. Hence your warning, not because you disagree with me or anyone else.

IanCurtis

I'd say Wibbs posted to give a response to a person in trouble, to let them know there's advice on the way.

There's nothing wrong with that really, at least it says that the post is being read and thought about.

Wibbs is usually on the money about these things and if the OP is prepared to lay out their problem here, they should expect a variety of replies and use their own judgement from there on.

My two cents anyways

Overheal

Sully wrote: »

Can we ease up on the cat picks folks? Not every thread needs them only a few posts in

NEVER!

tiptap wrote: »

I'll tell you why it's bad advice then.
It's bad advice (purely based now on the OPs original post) because we don't know enough information. Two sides to every coin etc. etc.

As Thaed pointed out, break ups of marriages with kids should be a last resort until all other avenues are explored.

To give such a serious piece of advice (leave him basically) is just insane, given the information that we have, it's that simple.

What gives me the right, well, I have experience in this subject matter, ALL TOO WELL.

fixed it for you.

Anyway, there is probably thousands of replies in PI that would be considered the wrong answer, irrelevant, or crap. Im sure Im responsible for a few, as is just about anyone that posts in there. You can't be right all the time.

The difference is not everyone jumps on someone's back for not advising any better than we do. If we did, nobody would want to post in there at all, and the OPs in there would be left high and dry. Instead, try to ignore the person in question and provide your own take: more often than not good posting is well praised in PI. I think its a much better system than flaming the rest of the posts/posters.

Talliesin

You weren't banned because your advice was bull****, though your advice was bull****.

You were banned because you posted yapping about mods that was irrelevant. That whining was also bull****, but that's not the point.

You appear to be hard of thinking. Maybe you should see if you can get people to talk louder or something.

tiptap

Talliesin wrote: »

You weren't banned because your advice was bull****, though your advice was bull****.

You were banned because you posted yapping about mods that was irrelevant. That whining was also bull****, but that's not the point.

You appear to be hard of thinking. Maybe you should see if you can get people to talk louder or something.

I'm well aware of what I was banned for now, but thanks for reiterating the point, it's much appreciated.

Nevyn

Your not even fúcking banned you gloomp.

tiptap

Thaedydal wrote: »

Your not even fúcking banned you gloomp.

lol, sorry, I meant I'm aware of why I was slapped !

Wibbs

Good God Sir, now you're looking for slaps. Glutton for punishment.:D

Ah sure alls well etc. Hopefully anyway the OP in the thread in question gets the support she and her family needs wherever it comes from.

Victor

tiptap wrote: »

I just get really hot tempered

Why is this?

KnifeWRENCH

kyub wrote: »

Overheal wrote:

LOL even by Feedback standards, those are extremely random pics! Kudos to ye!

OP I agree with most of what other people are saying. Being a Mod doesn't mean their advice is worth more than regular users. They offered their opinion based on the information that woman gave in her original post - which is all they had to go by.
Your opinion is different but that doesn't mean it's right.

Beruthiel

Thaedydal wrote: »

Your not even fúcking banned you gloomp.

Why isn't he banned? He damn well should be and you're going soft in your auld age!

tiptap
You're lucky that I didn't get there before Thaed, I have zero tolerance for behaviour like that and would have banned you straight off.

You're not even banned, yet here you are with a thread in feedback whinging.
You admit to not even reading the charter.
Posters like you are not welcome in PI and I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on.

_blank_

Beruthiel wrote: »

I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on.

Be Afriad.

Be Very Afriad.

The Sweeper

You can be afraid too if you like. When you're done being ah-free-ad.

_blank_

Nevyn

Beruthiel wrote: »

Why isn't he banned? He damn well should be and you're going soft in your auld age!

The kids got their summer holidays, we made rice crispie cakes and had icecream....

I ran outta gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from outta town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts!! It wasn't my fault I swear to God!!!

He's a noob and he did get infracted.

Beruthiel wrote: »

You're not even banned, yet here you are with a thread in feedback whinging.
You admit to not even reading the charter.
Posters like you are not welcome in PI and I'll be keeping an eye on you from now on.

Crap I am going to have to ban 10 people today to make this up to you amn't I ?

Wibbs

The way I personally look at is this. It's PI, it's strict for obvious reasons. It's both a bitch and a pleasure to moderate because of that. I'm also glad there are a load of mods on the forum too.

The odd laugh or off topic stuff is grand IMHO and tbh personally there are times I would let things go, where others may start handing out warnings. I've been warned there in the past myself(maybe even banned IIRC), but if it's extreme like this case, or clearly someone hasn't read the charter, or someone is consistently taking the píss then my latitude goes out the window.

Again personally I'd try to engineer in a pop up for newbies (and others) that said in no uncertain terms, "read the bloody charter".

biko

This thread made me remember this gem:

tallaght01

Tiptap, just walk away from that forum. it gets an awful awful lot worse.

Just walk away, dude. it's all you can do.