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HELP!. I'm so worried....

  • 26-06-2008 06:08PM
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I have been going out with my boyfriend for almost six months now. I class sexual health very important and I'm careful, by being checked before after going out with someone and making sure as best I can that they're clear too (by the way, I've only slept with two other guys and they were people I had been friends with for a long time and knew well).

    Before I had intercourse with my current boyfriend, I got checked and got the all clear on everything. He told me that he was completely clear too and never had an STD.
    I dislike condoms and limit sex to when I'm in a proper relationship (and I go on the pill).

    Here's the dilemma-he told last night that 3 years ago he contracted a type of genital warts that only shows up on guys. (and 'doesn't affect girls'). I'm so worried about this. He said that they haven't shown up since (he thinks he's 'cured'). From what I know about viruses etc, they will always remain in one's system and can be passed on. I'm really afraid that I now have this virus and if I sleep with another partner, I'll pass the virus on to them. Ie- any guy I ever sleep with again without a condom will sprout hideous warts (and my boyfriend said they were really bad).

    We've been sleeping together for a while now, using only the pill as protection as I trusted what he said about not having an STD. Do you think I now most certainly have the virus now?.


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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,095 ✭✭✭Wurly



    Here's the dilemma-he told last night that 3 years ago he contracted a type of genital warts that only shows up on guys. .

    Why the hell didnt he tell you this before??? That is absolutely disgraceful and he should be more than ashamed of himself. Especially due to the fact that you are so careful, which im sure you told him.

    Get yourself to a GUM clinic immediately. I think there is a sticky somewhere on this forum with details. No-one can speculate whether you have or haven't got them. Who knows? You need to get checked out.

    Now, that's one solution. Next problem is, are you happy to stay in a relationship with someone who has so little regard for your health? My good god, I cant believe anyone could do that on someone else.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    he told last night that 3 years ago he contracted a type of genital warts that only shows up on guys. (and 'doesn't affect girls').
    No being of a medical background, the obvious question would still be if it doesn't affect "girls" how the hell did he contract it, from an oak tree?
    We've been sleeping together for a while now, using only the pill as protection as I trusted what he said about not having an STD. Do you think I now most certainly have the virus now?.
    You need to go to your GP or an STD clinic if you would feel embarrassed about seeing your GP as soon as possible and get yourself checked and hopefully be given the all clear. Hopefully that will be that but if not they will start treatment sooner rather than later.

    Go back to using condoms of course, if you still want to sleep with him. I wouldn't personally. TBH I would be incredibly píssed off if that happened to me with a woman I trusted. Game over, there's the door, you're dumped would be the order of the day. At least for me. My health sexual or otherwise is the most important thing to me and if someone even through ignorance of the situation exposed me to a threat to my health, that would be it. No way back. Good bye.

    I feel for you.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    In fairness at least he did tell you. Look at it this way, your with him six months thats not very long. Its not exactly easy for a guy to tell a girl he only knows 6 months that oh yeah I had genital warts??. Fair play to him for coming clean if you ask me, a bit late yeah but he obviously has your health in mind.

    The body is a marvelous thing, it has a wonderful way of healing itself and 3 years was a long time ago in fairness. Chances are that he is perfectly clean and fine but yeah get yourself checked out, don't worry so much about it until you hear bad news.

    I can see why you would be annoyed over that, but he still did the right thing in my opinion. Like I said its not easy for a guy to come out and say something like that. He probably thought that he would lose all chance of a relationship with you if he told you straight away. Took a bit of time to get to know you better before laying it on you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    Feelgood wrote: »
    In fairness at least he did tell you. Look at it this way, your with him six months thats not very long. Its not exactly easy for a guy to tell a girl he only knows 6 months that oh yeah I had genital warts??. Fair play to him for coming clean if you ask me, a bit late yeah but he obviously has your health in mind.

    The body is a marvelous thing, it has a wonderful way of healing itself and 3 years was a long time ago in fairness. Chances are that he is perfectly clean and fine but yeah get yourself checked out, don't worry so much about it until you hear bad news.

    I can see why you would be annoyed over that, but he still did the right thing in my opinion. Like I said its not easy for a guy to come out and say something like that. He probably thought that he would lose all chance of a relationship with you if he told you straight away. Took a bit of time to get to know you better before laying it on you.


    It's not easy for a guy to tell someone that? I'm sure it isn't easy to tell someone you have Aids either so should you just wait 6 months before telling your partner everything?! How easy do you think it is for the OP to go get herself checked out now thinking she might have contracted something horrible! He should have told her before they slept together full stop!


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Feelgood I do take your point about the whole embarassment in telling her, but and it's a big but, he should have used a condom, if he knew he was infected. Plus he should have gone to a doctor who would have told him that genital warts(if that's what he had/has) are transmittable to anyone he sleeps with. At best he's a thick as a brick.

    I really can't see what excuse he can possibly give in the circumstances.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Feelgood wrote: »
    In fairness at least he did tell you. Look at it this way, your with him six months thats not very long. Its not exactly easy for a guy to tell a girl he only knows 6 months that oh yeah I had genital warts??. Fair play to him for coming clean if you ask me, a bit late yeah but he obviously has your health in mind.

    The body is a marvelous thing, it has a wonderful way of healing itself and 3 years was a long time ago in fairness. Chances are that he is perfectly clean and fine but yeah get yourself checked out, don't worry so much about it until you hear bad news.

    I can see why you would be annoyed over that, but he still did the right thing in my opinion. Like I said its not easy for a guy to come out and say something like that. He probably thought that he would lose all chance of a relationship with you if he told you straight away. Took a bit of time to get to know you better before laying it on you.

    Yeah and he could just as easily have kept it quiet until now but insist they use a condom for his peice of mind but he didn't did he? he didn't do the right thing at all, all this time he knew he was risking infecting her and the possibility of a bruised ego is no excuse for that.

    To the OP, you'll never know unless you get checked. The longer you leave it the more it'll eat at you so you're best off just getting it over and done with and also reassessing whether the relationship is worth hanging on to, this was a big lie who's to say what else he's keeping hidden?


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    If your too immature to talk about sex without getting embarrassed, your too immature to be having sex.

    If I were you op I'd dump his arse after inflicting a chinese sunburn on his cock. I don't see how you could ever trust him again.

    AFAIK gential warts can be passed on even if you use a condom.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Moonbaby, ease up on the oul willy violence references. Charter and all that

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    If your too immature to talk about sex without getting embarrassed, your too immature to be having sex.
    Quoted for truth.
    If I were you op I'd dump his arse. I don't see how you could ever trust him again.
    Two for two.
    AFAIK gential warts can be passed on even if you use a condom.
    I seem to remember reading that too. It would reduce the risk by a lot though.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    Folks you talking 3 years ago here, there are people that had cancer 3 years ago and don't have it now!. The guy came clean late yeah, but at the end of the day he is being honest.

    He knows his own body and has probably slept with other people in the last 3 years also before the OP and the problem hasn't come back so I'd say he is pretty sure it was a once off problem, but he still had the balls to come out and tell her there was a problem. It takes a big man to do that and there are a lot of guys that wouldn't even bother and just let the girl think that she was the one with the problem.

    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..

    €50 says the OP gets checked out and she is fine....


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,770 ✭✭✭Bottle_of_Smoke


    I dont think condoms have much affect on warts, but afaik the body can purge it from the system once the person has a healthy immune system


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,168 ✭✭✭Kazobel


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Folks you talking 3 years ago here, there are people that had cancer 3 years ago and don't have it now!. The guy came clean late yeah, but at the end of the day he is being honest.

    He knows his own body and has probably slept with other people in the last 3 years also before the OP and the problem hasn't come back so I'd say he is pretty sure it was a once off problem, but he still had the balls to come out and tell her there was a problem. It takes a big man to do that and there are a lot of guys that wouldn't even bother and just let the girl think that she was the one with the problem.

    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..

    €50 says the OP gets checked out and she is fine....

    No it takes a real man to come clean in the first place, what he did was hide a potential infection from her at the risk of her becoming infected, he did nothing to be commended for and in fairness should be ditched as soon as possible. Oh and worrying about STD's, yeah that's blowing things out of proportion :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    In my book, there is no excusing this... The guy has a STD and is having unprotected sex with his girlfriend. He did not advise her of this 'previous' condition and in reality he lied cos he told her he was all clear...

    Whether or not you have the virus I dont think I could trust him to be honest going forward... Your sexual health is obviously very important to you, you were honest with him but he didnt return the favour - its black and white as far as I can see.

    Sadly maybe there is a lesson to be learned by everyone here... Can you ever truly trust someone else with your sexual health....

    SS


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..

    What an ignorant and infantile comment. Am sure you would be cool, calm and collected if there was the potential that someone had given you a dose of the clap and lied about it. to your face...

    SS

    PS you are being sexist!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 801 ✭✭✭estar


    from what i have read

    there are many different types of genital warts
    all of which affect both genders.

    and most of which stay in your system forever if
    you have contracted it and may come back at any time.
    also it can take a few months for them to show up.

    the only saving feature of this story is

    a) well thank god he eventually did tell you
    b) the fact that he doesnt have any active warts
    may make it less likely you have contracted it.

    the betrayal and the hurt are the worst things.

    go to a sexual health clinic.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,613 ✭✭✭✭Clare Bear


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Folks you talking 3 years ago here, there are people that had cancer 3 years ago and don't have it now!. The guy came clean late yeah, but at the end of the day he is being honest.

    He knows his own body and has probably slept with other people in the last 3 years also before the OP and the problem hasn't come back so I'd say he is pretty sure it was a once off problem, but he still had the balls to come out and tell her there was a problem. It takes a big man to do that and there are a lot of guys that wouldn't even bother and just let the girl think that she was the one with the problem.

    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..

    €50 says the OP gets checked out and she is fine....



    Females replying to this thread, big deal, what he did was wrong, he should have told her before they had sex. He doesn't know for sure if it's cleared up or not, he's not a doctor.

    Feelgood, no offence but it's people like you with such an easy going "Ah shur it'll be grand" attitude that spread these kind of things.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,458 ✭✭✭CathyMoran


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Folks you talking 3 years ago here, there are people that had cancer 3 years ago and don't have it now!. The guy came clean late yeah, but at the end of the day he is being honest.

    He knows his own body and has probably slept with other people in the last 3 years also before the OP and the problem hasn't come back so I'd say he is pretty sure it was a once off problem, but he still had the balls to come out and tell her there was a problem. It takes a big man to do that and there are a lot of guys that wouldn't even bother and just let the girl think that she was the one with the problem.

    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..

    €50 says the OP gets checked out and she is fine....
    While some forms of cancer can be caused by a virus it is not a virus - it is not infectious!

    I agree that the OP should get tested and dump the looser as he has at the very least put her at risk.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Folks you talking 3 years ago here, there are people that had cancer 3 years ago and don't have it now!.
    That's cool and the chances are good she'll be alright as the infectious time reduces over time. That's all fine and dandy, but he didn't know that. In fact he's woefully ignorant of the whole thing. The stuff about it doesn't affect women makes that obvious. As far as he knew he could be the STD version of typhoid mary, yet he took no responsibility for her health.
    The guy came clean late yeah, but at the end of the day he is being honest.
    Honesty has a timescale were health is involved.
    He knows his own body and has probably slept with other people in the last 3 years also before the OP and the problem hasn't come back so I'd say he is pretty sure it was a once off problem,
    He knows hi own body? You're joking surely? So he knows if he has a disease or not. Better inform the STD clinics, their work is clearly done. And what about the women he was sleeping with in the interim, when he was likely more infectious?
    but he still had the balls to come out and tell her there was a problem.
    Cool. A bit too late though.
    It takes a big man to do that and there are a lot of guys that wouldn't even bother and just let the girl think that she was the one with the problem.
    I'd consider him a bigger man if he told her before they slept together, or of he felt dodgy about that, insist on a condom.
    Not being sexiest with your guys but in fairness everyone that replied here so far is female
    Ehhh Nope. I'm a bloke. If I'm not then I'm the one with a PI and a serious hormonal imbalance.
    and well you tend to blow everything out of proportion just a smidgen and worry too much about things that turn out to be nothing..
    Hey I'm as unreconstructed chauvanist as the next fella but rolleyes wouldn't do that justice in this case. If she took a strop because he didn't notice her new shoes. Hey we're on the same page, but not if he knowingly exposed a women he probably claims to love to an STD. An std that is implicated in cervical cancer. Eh no. If that's out of proportion then fit me for a dress and a pair of blahnics, I'm a chick.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,251 ✭✭✭AngryBadger


    I'd be inclined to get myself checked regardless of what he's saying OP.

    Re: genital warts. It's not a virus that women "don't get", generally a healthy persons body will clear the virus in time and warts will not occur again unless the person contracts them from another partner.

    Go get yourself checked and to have this verified for you since I'm not a medical professional so don't take my word for it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,239 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Feelgood wrote: »
    ...a bit late yeah but he obviously has your health in mind.

    If he had her health in mind then he would have come clean BEFORE they had sex.
    Feelgood wrote: »
    Took a bit of time to get to know you better before laying it on you.

    Nope. He laid it on her right away. Hopefully she gets tested and gets the all clear.

    OP, it's your call, but another vote for the dump from me.




    /Another male perspective, by the way.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35 maryjmul


    are you off your head you are talking about a woman who cared enough about future potential partners and herself by getting checked,women don't always blow things out of proportion don't you know that genital warts have been linked to cervical cancer in women if i was in her shoes id dump his sorry arse ,she is not a woman who puts it about and does not deserve to be treated like this by anyone and while we are on the subject she will be wasting her €50 going to the gp as he will only refer her to the GUM clinic anyway


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Wibbs wrote: »
    Moonbaby, ease up on the oul willy violence references. Charter and all that

    Ouh I thought I was doing good because I left a few colourful descriptions out. I suppose I better thing read that charter thing.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    Right let me ask you all a very simple question - your moms and dads, their moms and dads so on, so fourth had or are maybe still have unprotected sex for the last say 80 odd years. Your talking about times that there were no "french letters" or STD clinics or even drugs or medicines to cure such diseases!.

    How come the majority of them are all still alive and well?. Have they had any bits fall off?. Have any of them contracted cervical cancer from genital warts?. No they haven't, chances are most will or have died of the big C, natural causes or a heart attack.

    The body you live in, is the direct result of a gene pool that made it through thousands of years of disease. Years where a medical profession didn't even exist, years where you couldn't just fcuk off up to the chemist to get a tube of cream. Yet here we all are still surviving, alive and well.

    Genital warts yes not a very nice thing to have, but its not the plague, its not a fcuking epidemic and it sure as hell isn't going to kill any of you.

    Apologies if I offended some of the ladies with my comments earlier, I was merely trying to make a point out that females are inclined to worry to a far greater extent than men. In particular I was trying to reassure the OP that she shouldn't panic until she gets tested and till she sees what is what, but instead you guys are just trying to break up her relationship, convince her her boyfriend and herself are diseased and that she is going to dye from cervical cancer....

    I beat the girl is gonna have a fcuking awesome nights sleep tonight.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Your language is foul and your post particularily ignorant....

    Did it dawn on you that our parents, grandparents any beyond were not having 5, 10, 15, 20, 25+ sexual partners in their lifetime?? STD's were not as rife nor as deadly..... I am no expert on sexual health but very obviously neither are you.

    The bottom line is that he lied to her....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,204 ✭✭✭bug


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Right let me ask you all a very simple question - your moms and dads, their moms and dads so on, so fourth had or are maybe still have unprotected sex for the last say 80 odd years. Your talking about times that there were no "french letters" or STD clinics or even drugs or medicines to cure such diseases!.

    How come the majority of them are all still alive and well?. Have they had any bits fall off?. Have any of them contracted cervical cancer from genital warts?. No they haven't, chances are most will or have died of the big C, natural causes or a heart attack.

    The body you live in, is the direct result of a gene pool that made it through thousands of years of disease. Years where a medical profession didn't even exist, years where you couldn't just fcuk off up to the chemist to get a tube of cream. Yet here we all are still surviving, alive and well.

    Genital warts yes not a very nice thing to have, but its not the plague, its not a fcuking epidemic and it sure as hell isn't going to kill any of you.

    Apologies if I offended some of the ladies with my comments earlier, I was merely trying to make a point out that females are inclined to worry to a far greater extent than men. In particular I was trying to reassure the OP that she shouldn't panic until she gets tested and till she sees what is what, but instead you guys are just trying to break up her relationship, convince her her boyfriend and herself are diseased and that she is going to dye from cervical cancer....

    I beat the girl is gonna have a fcuking awesome nights sleep tonight.

    I'd suggest you get some pamphets and read up on the issue and the risks to a female with HPV. Then you might understand that its not simply an issue of offending da ladeez...

    To the OP, best you can do is get yourself lined up for a Pap test as soon as you can to put your mind at rest.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 641 ✭✭✭johnnyq


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Right let me ask you all a very simple question - your moms and dads, their moms and dads so on, so fourth had or are maybe still have unprotected sex for the last say 80 odd years. Your talking about times that there were no "french letters" or STD clinics or even drugs or medicines to cure such diseases!.

    How come the majority of them are all still alive and well?. Have they had any bits fall off?. Have any of them contracted cervical cancer from genital warts?. No they haven't, chances are most will or have died of the big C, natural causes or a heart attack.

    I'm a guy and I really don't believe you're still trying to defend this. It's so so irresponsible, and that's putting it really mildly. :mad:

    Do you think STD's only occured recently?!? Aren't you so lucky that the people in you're life lived into their 80's.

    What about those who were prostitutes pre 1950's who had terrible painful diseases and had awful awful lives. Then what about the poor wives of the fellas who availed of their 'services' only to end up dead in their 40's from what they dragged in and *forgot* to tell them.

    Thankfully modern medicine has shielded you from this very harsh reality, because it's certainly not the attitude you're endorsing that would have stopped it.

    The body you live in, is the direct result of a gene pool that made it through thousands of years of disease. Years where a medical profession didn't even exist, years where you couldn't just fcuk off up to the chemist to get a tube of cream. Yet here we all are still surviving, alive and well.

    /johnnyq hits head off wall. Wreckless attitude.
    Genital warts yes not a very nice thing to have, but its not the plague, its not a fcuking epidemic and it sure as hell isn't going to kill any of you.

    Sure it's just as harmless as a love bite isn't it. I really pray hard that that is the worst the OP may have got off the charming lad.
    In particular I was trying to reassure the OP that she shouldn't panic until she gets tested and till she sees what is what, but instead you guys are just trying to break up her relationship, convince her her boyfriend and herself are diseased and that she is going to dye from cervical cancer....

    Well he wouldn't know if he was a carrier for the cervical cancer virus anyway you are aware I hope. What he did was absolutely dispicable, and no it's not female overanxiousness is the problem it's people who don't even think anything is wrong is the real problem.
    I beat the girl is gonna have a fcuking awesome nights sleep tonight.

    Are you actually concerned? I certainly don't get that impression.

    Edit: That last point may have been too harsh but I can only consider your reply as uneducated at best.


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,313 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Feelgood wrote: »
    Right let me ask you all a very simple question - your moms and dads, their moms and dads so on, so fourth had or are maybe still have unprotected sex for the last say 80 odd years. Your talking about times that there were no "french letters" or STD clinics or even drugs or medicines to cure such diseases!.
    Actually they did have french letters, just maybe not in this country where the amount of sexual partners one had in life was one for a large proportion of the population. Don't forget also that syphilis was a huge problem until the advent of antibiotics.
    Have any of them contracted cervical cancer from genital warts?.
    See above. Specious argument based on dodgy understanding of the history of sex and it's implications for disease. Nuns and other virginal types have a far lower incidence of cervical cancer than the general population. This risk goes up with the unprotected sex with different partners. The human papilloma virus is directly implicated in cervical changes that may lead to malignancy.
    Genital warts yes not a very nice thing to have, but its not the plague, its not a fcuking epidemic and it sure as hell isn't going to kill any of you.
    Actually it's all too common and it can kill; http://womenshealth.about.com/cs/stds/a/hpvcervcncrconn.htm so again your argument is based on false perceptions. 93% of cervical cancers have HPV(that's the genital warts virus) as a factor. Luckily regular smear tests for sexually active women will hopefully catch it and treat it for most in the majority of cases. It's not the only problem with HPV either. You seem very invested in this idea that it's not that big a deal.
    Apologies if I offended some of the ladies with my comments earlier, I was merely trying to make a point out that females are inclined to worry to a far greater extent than men.
    Hey I'll tend to agree with you there. They have often driven me mad because of that. In this case they would have damn good reason.
    In particular I was trying to reassure the OP that she shouldn't panic until she gets tested and till she sees what is what
    I agree with you there as well. Two for two.
    but instead you guys are just trying to break up her relationship, convince her her boyfriend and herself are diseased and that she is going to dye from cervical cancer..
    You're missing the point by a country mile. It was a break of trust. A significant break of trust that may have put her health in danger and his inability to recognise that. That's the problem.

    He wasn't man enough to take responsibility for his actions. As a man that's his job. It's what a man should do. Take responsibility for his actions especially when they may impact others. Basically he failed as a man, when he knowingly failed to protect those he claims to care for in his life. Apologies to all if that sounds anachronistic and non PC, but that's how I see it and wild fuggin horses won't drag me away from that definition.
    I beat the girl is gonna have a fcuking awesome nights sleep tonight.
    I reckon she's going to be fine healthwise. That's my hope. I don't think she will be fine in other ways until her partner, cops on, grows a pair and takes responsibility for the fallout from his actions. As someone said before me, if he's not mature enough to be having sex, then he shouldn't be having it.

    Many worry about Artificial Intelligence. I worry far more about Organic Idiocy.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 43,044 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    http://www.tellher.ie/default.aspx?sid=1&pid=4
    There are more than 100 types of human papillomavirus. Most of them are relatively harmless, like the ones that cause common warts found on hands and feet but a few are responsible for diseases such as cervical cancer
    and genital warts.
    Human papillomavirus is very common, easily transmitted and can be totally symptomless. Human papillomaviruses affect both women and men, and the majority of us will encounter this virus at some point in our life.Sexual relations, that involves genital contact with someone carrying genital papillomaviruses, could result in infection.

    Genital contact with a single partner who has human papillomavirus is sufficient to cause infection. It has been shown that most people now contract the human papillomavirus in adolescence.
    In Europe, cervical cancer is the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths among young women (between 15-44). In Europe 40 women die each day of cervical cancer.
    In Ireland there are approximately 180 new cases of cervical cancer every year and 73 deaths.
    This means in Ireland, 6 women on average die each month from cervical cancer.


    Get yourself tested and tested for as long at it takes to get yourself clear
    as you can be.

    He has endangered your health and your life and clearly has no respect for you, why on earth would you be talking to him ?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,191 ✭✭✭Feelgood


    Right I will try to sum up what I was aiming at here.

    I don't think that some of your comments regarding the OP's partner were completely justified. Yes he was more than definitely in the wrong, though this guy has been honest about something that in my eyes is actually harder to come out with than telling her that he was seeing someone else.

    It's not a very comfortable subject matter to be talking about with someone that you just entered a relationship with, but yet he still told her just 6 months into the relationship. Like I said there are plenty of guys out there that wouldn't even bother saying anything and I think you are all very sorely mistaken if you think that every one of your lovers has been completely up front and honest with you.

    Yes the op should be peeved to some extent and refuse any further sort of sexual relations until both of them get tested and cleared, but I think that she should also be thinking that you know, if he was honest about something like this then he could be honest about anything with me and I think he has showed the main characteristic that females look for in a guy which is honesty and trust. For that I don't think she should write off her relationship at all and its not completely doomed.

    The second point I was trying to make was that I am not denying any of the risks or dangers of STD's in any shape or form. My point was that even if you have slept with someone that has or had an STD, it doesn't mean that its a guarantee that you will contract it from them. Your body is designed to fight off disease and thats exactly what it will try to do and will continue to do very successfully. Your body is subject to more dangerous health risks on a daily basis than the majority of STD's can offer, but yet we still come out trumps.

    The last thing I will say is that the OP came here because of a genuine worry, she doesn't need to be told the dangers of STD's as she obviously knows that already or how crappy her boyfriend is. She needs exactly what most people that post in PI need which is reassurance that everything will be fine and that there is a way forward which there is!!.

    @Wibbs - I think we could all learn a thing or two from you. You raise very valid points and also informative, intelligent and objective discussion...something I haven't seen too often on here so fair play.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭SarahSassy


    Before I had intercourse with my current boyfriend, I got checked and got the all clear on everything. He told me that he was completely clear too and never had an STD.

    Feelgood, did you read the original post at all??? If not, I am highlighting the above for you... He is no hero, he told he he had never had a STD. He lied and put her health at risk.

    You are praising WIbbs for certain points cos he agreed with you that women can be irrational...

    IMO you are backpeddling big time....


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