Hardest food to cook is....

Pighead

sausages.

Pighead loves his sausages but why the hell are they so damn hard to cook? Pigheads a man who values his health so its strictly grill cooking all the way. You have to watch over them constantantly as if you leave them for even a minute the fcukers get burnt.

Then you have to turn them inch by inch every couple of minutes but they always roll back to their original position just to annoy you. They spit out fat and grease which always hits you on the face (and elbowsif your wearing a short sleeved shirt).

The skin breaks and they get all curly making them even harder cook. Why are they so damn hard to cook?

Whats your hardest food to cook?

watna

Pavlova. I've tried to make it on a number of occasions but it's beyond my culinary skills. I just can't do it.

Pighead, get big thick sausages, cut them in half and cook them in a George Foreman. That way all sides get cooked and you don't have to watch them and turn them.

Curvy Vixen

Or you could do them the way most food outlets/restaurants/truck stops do them and boil them first to actually cook them, then deep fry them for a few minutes to brown them! Simple!

John Mason

Eggs


I cant boil them, poach them or fry them. the bas.tards and i love them

The Sweeper

Turn down the grill and lower the shelf height if you can.

Hardest food for me is roast beef. I always judge the time wrong. Always. Either comes out nearly sodding raw or way overcooked. I just can't get it right. GAH.

Pighead

watna wrote: »

Pavlova. I've tried to make it on a number of occasions but it's beyond my culinary skills. I just can't do it.

Pighead, get big thick sausages, cut them in half and cook them in a George Foreman. That way all sides get cooked and you don't have to watch them and turn them.

Excellent, must try that watna. Sounds too good to be true though! Whats the story with people pricking sausages with a fork before cooking them? Does that improve the sausage cooking experience or are they doing it just for show?

Xavi6

Rice.

The boil in the bag stuff I can do no bother but the regular shit just always turns to mush for sime reason.

Looby_Loo

Pighead wrote: »

Excellent, must try that watna. Sounds too good to be true though! Whats the story with people pricking sausages with a fork before cooking them? Does that improve the sausage cooking experience or are they doing it just for show?

Breaking the skin helps reduce the curling up when they are cooking

watna

Pighead wrote: »

Excellent, must try that watna. Sounds too good to be true though! Whats the story with people pricking sausages with a fork before cooking them? Does that improve the sausage cooking experience or are they doing it just for show?

As far as I know it's to stop them bursting.

EDIT: Ooh, Looby Loo, quick off the mark!

Pighead

This thread is probably the greatest idea Pighead has ever had. In the real world whenever Pighead has posed this question he has been ridiculed laughed at, spat at and ignored. And thats just from Mam.

On the internet people are far more giving and non judgemental. As soon as work is finished Pighead is going to go to the shop and buy some sausages. Go home and prick them with a fork (Thanks Looby_Loo), turn down the grill and lower the shelf height (Thanks MAJD) and then sit back eat and enjoy (Thanks PIghead). Then ion Saturday there shall be a George Foremans grill purchased and more sausages shall be cooked and enjoyed. (Thanks watna)

whiskeyman

square sausages ftw!

Dizzyblonde

Pighead wrote: »

Excellent, must try that watna. Sounds too good to be true though! Whats the story with people pricking sausages with a fork before cooking them? Does that improve the sausage cooking experience or are they doing it just for show?

According to Nigel Slater pricking sausages lets the tasty juices out so isn't a good thing.
I roast sausages in the oven - 200C for 30-40 minutes,turning only once - they cook evenly all around and don't set off the smoke alarm like grilling does. You can splash them with Worcestershire sauce for extra stickiness and yumminess too.

Yes Pighead, this thread is bordering on genius

Dizzyblonde

whiskeyman wrote: »

square sausages ftw!

Apparently there actually is such a thing - in Scotland. I have a friend there who's promised to bring some over when she visits.

Quality

Ohh Pavlova, Impossible

I cant boil potatoes, I can roast them, steam them microwave them but they either turn to mush or are still hard in the middle if I boil them in water...:o

Mr Magnolia

I find if you turn the sausages a couple of times shortly after they're put on they don't curl up and are easier to manage. Don't prick them, this allow all the lovely juices and fat to escape.

Thumpette

Pighead is funny! In appreciation of his funniness i grant him a lifetime of happy sausaging!

May all your sausages be perfect pighead

IronMan

You should never have to prick sausages. If you have to prick them to stop them bursting, then they have too much water, and are quite probably made of pigs eye, scrotum, and bell end and should be avoided at all cost. Anything less than 97% pork meat is not a sausage its an abomination.

Pighead

You don't know what you're talking about IronMan. The scrotums the best part of a sausage. Everyone knows that.

IronMan

I'd have to disagree Pighead old sage. I purchased a hotdog at the corner of Stephens green only last Saturday night. It contained scrotum, diseased trotter meat, and elbow grease, and I could not finish it. And after consuming 10 pints of stout, the taste buds can be assaulted by the most primitive of tastes and still not suffer ill-effect.

Quality

what brand sausage do you buy Pighead?

Alun

Forget all this healthy eating nonsense when it comes to sausages .. there's only one way to cook sausages properly and that's to fry them long and slow, anything up to 30 mins. That way they don't burst, they remain nice and moist and flavoursome and they develop that gorgeous sweet caramelized exterior. You need proper sausages though with a high meat content, not those nasty fluorescent bright pink monstrosities that are more cereal than meat.

Pighead

IronMan wrote: »

I'd have to disagree Pighead old sage. I purchased a hotdog at the corner of Stephens green only last Saturday night. It contained scrotum, diseased trotter meat, and elbow grease, and I could not finish it. And after consuming 10 pints of stout, the taste buds can be assaulted by the most primitive of tastes and still not suffer ill-effect.

Hmmmm strange, maybe the scrotum had gone off.

Quality you asked to see Pigheads sausage:

Quality

Pighead wrote: »

Hmmmm strange, maybe the scrotum had gone off.

Quality you asked to see Pigheads sausage:

Ahh Pighead, I am disappointed in you...

You need to get down to a butchers.. I know of a great one in Ardee "Callaghans" not only does he do an award winning banger but the nicest white pudding in the whole world!! (Just make sure you have a packet of Rennie at the ready"

Pighead

Whats wrong with Galtee Traditional Gold Pork Bangers? They're great. They've even got citric acid in them.

And as for the Ardee suggestion, thanks but no thanks! That place is the scariest town in the world. The kids are all wearing Guns & Roses T-Shirts and they all look like they may be related. May send Mammy Pighead in to check these award winning bangers out though. She ain't scared of the inbred.

Minder

IronMan wrote: »

You should never have to prick sausages. If you have to prick them to stop them bursting, then they have too much water, and are quite probably made of pigs eye, scrotum, and bell end and should be avoided at all cost. Anything less than 97% pork meat is not a sausage its an abomination.

If it is 97% pork scrotum and bell end is it a juicy banger or an abomination?:D Most irish sausage contains rusk, probably about 10% by volume.

Pighead - try cooking sausages long and slow on a low heat in a pan on the stove. 25 minutes, start the pan on a high heat then reduce to low for a delicious sticky, oozy saussie. (Sorry Alun, didn't see your post)

Xavi6 wrote: »

Rice.

The boil in the bag stuff I can do no bother but the regular shit just always turns to mush for sime reason.

Forget all that rubbish about measured rice and water - cook rice in a large pan of salted boiling water until done, drain through a colander and cover for 10 minutes then fluff up with a fork. Works every time.

Tar.Aldarion

damn that matar paneer!

MREGAN

This thread I thought was a joke. Until I read everyones comments. I can see your points but I wouldnt say sausages are hard to cook just require a bit of attention in the cooking.

Whats wrong with Galtee Traditional Gold Pork Bangers

This is a joke. No offence to galtee or any other brands but you can put any part of the pig in and call it pork. Any of these packet sausages are the worst you can get. Butchers sausages all the way

Pighead

MREGAN wrote: »

This thread I thought was a joke. Until I read everyones comments. I can see your points but I wouldnt say sausages are hard to cook just require a bit of attention in the cooking.


This is a joke. No offence to galtee or any other brands but you can put any part of the pig in and call it pork. Any of these packet sausages are the worst you can get. Butchers sausages all the way

Listen pal, Pighead won't hear of anybody badmouthing Galtee Traditional Gold Pork Bangers. Pighead has tasted many sausages in his time (quiten down at the back) and when cooked correctly( which admittedly isn't too often) the Galtee bangers are comparable with any butchers efforts. You Madam are a Sausage Snob.

Krusty_Clown

Minder wrote: »

Pighead - try cooking sausages long and slow on a low heat in a pan on the stove. 25 minutes, start the pan on a high heat then reduce to low for a delicious sticky, oozy saussie. (Sorry Alun, didn't see your post)

..and use a ridged pan, to stop them rolling all over the place.

Minder wrote: »

Forget all that rubbish about measured rice and water - cook rice in a large pan of salted boiling water until done, drain through a colander and cover for 10 minutes then fluff up with a fork. Works every time.

I find that under-cooking the rice (by a minute or two), straining it, (leave the water in the saucepan, rest the colander/sieve on top of the saucepan and replace the lid, then leave the rice like this until you need to serve, produces the best results.

Gavin "shels"

Alun wrote: »

Forget all this healthy eating nonsense when it comes to sausages .. there's only one way to cook sausages properly and that's to fry them long and slow, anything up to 30 mins. That way they don't burst, they remain nice and moist and flavoursome and they develop that gorgeous sweet caramelized exterior. You need proper sausages though with a high meat content, not those nasty fluorescent bright pink monstrosities that are more cereal than meat.

Exactly the way I cook mine. Always much sure they go on a very hot pan aswell.

Minder

Pighead wrote: »

Listen pal, Pighead won't hear of anybody badmouthing Galtee Traditional Gold Pork Bangers. Pighead has tasted many sausages in his time (quiten down at the back) and when cooked correctly( which admittedly isn't too often) the Galtee bangers are comparable with any butchers efforts. You Madam are a Sausage Snob.

That made me laugh, but joking aside, I see the ingredients are listed on the Galtee saussies and include BHA/BHT. Didn't know what that was so I looked it up. :eek::eek::eek::eek:

They may taste like pumpkin pie..........

MREGAN

Listen Pighead your taste buds must not be working. I wasnt bad mouthing Galtee just saying Butchers are better. Pighead should broaden pigheads horizons and get out more. There is more to life than Galtee. Try your local butcher you will be surprised. If Galtee is your thing then enjoy and get a MRS/MR Pighead to cook for you. Problem solved ;-)

Alun

Gavin shels wrote: »

Exactly the way I cook mine. Always much sure they go on a very hot pan aswell.

Yep, that's it .. hot pan to start with to brown them off a bit and get them going, and then gradually reduce the heat until they're just barely sizzling.

Toto Wolfcastle

I like my sausages burnt so I never have a problem with having to watch them. I like the idea of cooking them slowly for a long time though.

Minder

janeybabe wrote: »

I like my sausages burnt so I never have a problem with having to watch them.

BBQ for you then, because a barbequed sausage is not cooked unless you can write with it. Unwritten rule #01 of barbequing.:D

Dizzyblonde

Minder wrote: »

BBQ for you then, because a barbequed sausage is not cooked unless you can write with it. Unwritten rule #01 of barbequing.:D

If you pour boiling water over your sausages and leave them sitting in it for 10 minutes before putting them on the BBQ they cook well and stay succulent.

Toto Wolfcastle

Minder wrote: »

BBQ for you then, because a barbequed sausage is not cooked unless you can write with it. Unwritten rule #01 of barbequing.:D

Exactly! Although I can burn them nicely when frying or grilling them too.

coffee to go

To the folks who have issues with rice, I always sucked at it too, until my Canadian wife showed me how to cook it properly.

Easy directions for two people (in the style of Gordon Ramsey):

Take mug.
Fill mug to top with water.
Pour into saucepan.
Fill mug again with water.
Pour into saucepan.
Add pinch of salt.
Put on lid.
Bring water to boil on high heat.
Fill same mug with rice.
Add rice to boiling water.
Stir.
Replace lid - Tilted if doesn't have a vent).
Wait for water to come back to boil.
Reduce heat to low (2 on our stove)
Allow to simmer until all the water has absorbed (about 10 minutes - Poke end of wooden spoon down through rice to see bottom of pot to check).
Serve.

None of this colander malarkey!

WindSock

Superquinns Sausages + BBQ = :pac:

I have to agree that when cooking sausages in a frying pan I require assistance or else I turn into a snivelling mess on the kitchen floor.

Tar.Aldarion

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

damn that matar paneer!

What happens to it on you?
I can't make paneer taste as good as from restaurents.

Everything I cook almost always mysteriously works.
Even meat which I know nothing about.

Consequently if something doesn't come out tasting good, I get ridiculiously upset.
I look at enjoying my meals as my most basic human right.

DublinWriter

Pighead wrote: »

The skin breaks and they get all curly making them even harder cook. Why are they so damn hard to cook?

Frying a sausage perfectly is like making love to a beautiful woman. You must cover her in oil, turn up the heat slowly and always, always, always keep her on the move.

Krusty_Clown

DublinWriter wrote: »

Frying a sausage perfectly is like making love to a beautiful woman. You must cover her in oil, turn up the heat slowly and always, always, always keep her on the move.

aidan24326

Pighead wrote: »

Whats wrong with Galtee Traditional Gold Pork Bangers? They're great. They've even got citric acid in them.

Try Paul Rankin sausages, they're excellent!

MREGAN wrote: »

No offence to galtee or any other brands but you can put any part of the pig in and call it pork. Any of these packet sausages are the worst you can get. Butchers sausages all the way

Not entirely true. Sausages can't be called 'pork' sausages unless there's a certain minimum amount of pork in them, any less and they're just called sausages, without the pork bit! And you needn't think that butchers don't lob in a good dollop of crap aswell.

Though I do agree with you that what can be called 'pork' is debatable!

Beerlao

Xavi you need to rinse your rice a few times to get rid of the starch, that'll stop it turning into rice pudding. you'll know the starch is out of it when the water doesn't turn into a cloudy mess when you chuck the rice in.


i'm crap at flipping over an egg when frying it without the yolk going everywhere

gucci

Shaws or Clonakilty sausages are the business!

DublinWriter

gucci wrote: »

Shaws or Clonakilty sausages are the business!

Nope, both horrible. Any half-decent UK sausage is miles better than the fatty and gelatinous muck we get here.

Blisterman

Agreed. Go to Borough Market in London, if you want some good sausages. Amazing.

antoniosicily

cuts of pig with low fat, they tend to become tough in a short time

humberklog

Steak. I've been trying for 20years. Rump, T, Strip, expensive, cheap, heavy pan, light pan, grill pan, gas, tenderised, electric, oil, butter. Every bloody combo and still i can't cook steak the way I like it. Rare as. Fat crisply done, outer burnt, 1mm in and it gets bloody and soft. Is there a magic secret to how it's served in Paris? I've never been convinced of the quality of irish steak.

Nevyn

humberklog wrote: »

Steak. I've been trying for 20years. Rump, T, Strip, expensive, cheap, heavy pan, light pan, grill pan, gas, tenderised, electric, oil, butter. Every bloody combo and still i can't cook steak the way I like it. Rare as. Fat crisply done, outer burnt, 1mm in and it gets bloody and soft. Is there a magic secret to how it's served in Paris? I've never been convinced of the quality of irish steak.

Blow torch.

seriously are you leaving it out to get to room temp for 30 mins before you put it near any heat ?

humberklog

Thaedydal wrote: »

Blow torch.

seriously are you leaving it out to get to room temp for 30 mins before you put it near any heat ?

I have done and usally do. Unless in hurry. I don't buy it often as i can't cook it. Never tried blow torching but wouldn't expect to get results from that method. it wouldn't get warmed in centre.