New sticky needed: cars are all crap

Zube

Following a suggestion in the Alfa 147 Problem thread, I think we need a new sticky called Cars are Crap, with the distilled wisdom of the regulars:

Alfas are crap, Fiats are crap, Renault are crap, don't touch that with a bargepole, that's boring, those are overpriced, oh God not another fanboy, my dad's Cortina broke down once in 1972, BMW fans are idiots, Japanese interiors are made out of recycled Coke bottles, I met a guy once whose mother's Citroen caused the Chernobyl disaster...

barryfitz

LOL

Youd be sick of all the sh*te alright wouldnt you.

peasant

yepp ...the only cars worth having are those with the engine in the back anyway.

Kavinsky

Fiats are crap.

Biro

I'll continue... Everything under the VAG, Toyota, GM and Ford umbrellas are crap!!
(that covers a fair bit...!)
Next?

Max_Damage

Fiat Ritmo is pure auto shíte.

And the Austin Metro was not much better, although Austin-Rover now no longer exist...

racso1975

"french cars are about as useful as a frog with no legs"

"Audi's are great cars"

Biro

VW Jetta and Toyota Corolla... utter muck.

bazz26

Motoring generalisations are crap. Along with fog lights on when there is no fog.

colly10

Biro wrote: »

Toyota Corolla... utter muck.

Second hand corolla's are fairly cheap and run forever, cant go wrong

Edit: Fiats are crap in fairness

It BeeMee

Any car that doesn't have over 500bhp is "seriously underpowered"

Biro

colly10 wrote: »

Second hand corolla's are fairly cheap and run forever, cant go wrong

Edit: Fiats are crap in fairness

Generalisations!!!

Honda's are made from tin!

Slig

Jesus lads.
Cars, in general, are powered by mixing a highly flamable liquid with air and igniting it in a sealed cylinder to cause a series of explosions, up to 9000 per minute.
How the hell could this not cause problems?:D

Juan Pablo

I know you are looking for a city runabout <1.2l for under €6k, but have you considred the following?

http://www.carzone.ie/used-cars/Maserati/Gran-Turismo/www.sportandclassic.ie/959502/

RobAMerc

I know feck all about cars - I don't like them and I can't drive but I came on to boards / motors to say I know for a fact that Toyotas are the best cars and Alphas are crap - my uncle had both and he had to put new tyres on the Alpha after 50k miles - crap !

Biro

Juan Pablo wrote: »

I know you are looking for a city runabout <1.2l for under €6k, but have you considred the following?

http://www.carzone.ie/used-cars/Maserati/Gran-Turismo/www.sportandclassic.ie/959502/

Have you considered the Octavia? Huge boot...

colly10

Biro wrote: »

Generalisations!!!

Honda's are made from tin!

Generalisations alright, but they aren't pulled from thin air, just may not be true every time.

Like if I said I am going to buy a second hand car with 100k miles, I don't care about how it looks, im just praying for reliability because I have little money if something goes wrong - My options are a toyota corolla or an Alfa 147.

Would you advise me to spend my hard earned cash on the Alfa?

Edit: Just an example, personally if it was between the 2 id buy the alfa, prefer the look of it

Zube

I have a million Euros to spend on a car, but a guy down the pub said the Veyron is crap and I should get a Japanese car for the reliability, what do you all think?

Stevie Dakota

RobAMerc wrote: »

I know feck all about cars - I don't like them and I can't drive but I came on to boards / motors to say I know for a fact that Toyotas are the best cars and Alphas are crap - my uncle had both and he had to put new tyres on the Alpha after 50k miles - crap !

LOL! Classic!

Biro

colly10 wrote: »

Generalisations alright, but they aren't pulled from thin air

You mean ALL black people may not be experts at basketball? All Irish people may not be drunk and fighting? All French people might not actually be frogs? All VW's might not be reliable? All Fiats might not be crap? All Jap interiors might not be made from coke cans?

Every car is crap except [insert posters marque]

I will take it as a person slight if [insert posters marque] is talked about in a negative way and will defend it like a rabid dog.


There is a post formula for 90% of the posts in this forum.

Biro

Zube wrote: »

I have a million Euros to spend on a car, but a guy down the pub said the Veyron is crap and I should get a Japanese car for the reliability, what do you all think?

The guy in the pub is dead right and should be heeded. You should get a Carina E. You should also ask man in pub about politics and sport too, cause he's right.

Gary ITR

I remember having a choice between a 1.4 golf and 1.4 focus as company cars, driving around Dublin... And being told both are dangerously slow... not just slow but dangerously slow lol

SV

Onkle wrote: »

I remember having a choice between a 1.4 golf and 1.4 focus as company cars, driving around Dublin... And being told both are dangerously slow... not just slow but dangerously slow lol

Ah! Clearly you were getting the opinions of those driving M3s and the likes!
Tbh now a 1.4l car is far too slow for city driving..you're going to need at least a 3l car!

Cmar-Ireland

ClioV6 wrote: »

Ah! Clearly you were getting the opinions of those driving M3s and the likes!
Tbh now a 1.4l car is far too slow for city driving..you're going to need at least a 3l car!

3l car....pfffft - you need an SUV to drive around dublin. Easier to see over the dangerously slow cars

Biro

Onkle wrote: »

I remember having a choice between a 1.4 golf and 1.4 focus as company cars, driving around Dublin... And being told both are dangerously slow... not just slow but dangerously slow lol

Easily explainable... you see when you're driving a high powered car like a Golf GT TDI, your neck muscles snap your neck forward sharply everytime you touch the accellerator to counteract the excessive lateral G's experienced from the raw power. When you're in a 1.4 that doesn't happen so you get whiplash!
When you're in a 1 litre, it's dangerous cause when you try to accellerate, it goes backwards at the rate of gravity cause it's generating negative power.

colly10

Zube wrote: »

I have a million Euros to spend on a car, but a guy down the pub said the Veyron is crap and I should get a Japanese car for the reliability, what do you all think?

If your spending big money on a car you would expect it to be more reliable than a jap car you pay flock all for

Biro wrote: »

All VW's might not be reliable?

True, read owners reviews on the mark 4 golf, more than a fair share of electrical problems

Biro wrote: »

All Jap interiors might not be made from coke cans?

True, they're actually made from coke bottles

Slig

ronoc wrote: »

Every car is crap except [insert posters marque]

I will take it as a person slight if [insert posters marque] is talked about in a negative way and will defend it like a rabid dog.


There is a post formula for 90% of the posts in this forum.

If your thinking of buying a 00' ford Focus you should buy an early 90's 3L BMW instead much better value and it wont depreciate

JHMEG

peasant wrote: »

yepp ...the only cars worth having are those with the engine in the back anyway.

Until you have a crash and then you wish it was in the front.

JHMEG

ClioV6 wrote: »

Tbh now a 1.4l car is far too slow for city driving..you're going to need at least a 3l car!

Has to be Diesel. That way you can stay in 4th gear for ever.

Zube

Diesel is crap, it pollutes more than the Atom bomb ever did. My car is powered by rubber bands wound by hamsters on exercise wheels, and does 30 miles to the carrot.

It BeeMee

Cmar-Ireland wrote: »

3l car....pfffft - you need an SUV to drive around dublin. Easier to see drive over the dangerously slow cars

Fixed that for you...


If your car has a red Eye after it's Tee Dee, then get yourself over to NASA cos they're always looking for experienced rocket pilots.....

bbam

Zube wrote: »

Diesel is crap, it pollutes more than the Atom bomb ever did. My car is powered by rubber bands wound by hamsters on exercise wheels, and does 30 miles to the carrot.

So rather than the damn greens you're tortured by the ISPCA

Cionád

Zube wrote: »

Diesel is crap, it pollutes more than the Atom bomb ever did. My car is powered by rubber bands wound by hamsters on exercise wheels, and does 30 miles to the carrot.

Everyone who slags off an Alfa or Beemer is an f_ckin idiot who drives a almera/corolla at 20kph lower than the speed limit.

Hyundai Coupes are for hairdressers only. If you buy one, you'll be a feature in Gay Monthly.

If you spell Alfa romeo "Alpha Romeo" you are worse than a rapist.

Seth Brundle

JHMEG wrote: »

Until you have a crash and then you wish it was in the front.

What if you were reversing when you crashed?

junkyard

BMW's really are great though, but everyone that needs to know knows that already.:)

E92

If you own a Skoda you'll find the owners manual is a bus timetable, and the heated rear window will keep your hands warm as you're busy pushing it again.

If you own a Volvo you own a box on wheels and have no imagination, as well as being an old fart and not knowing what the accelerator pedal is.

If you own a BMW then you can't use indicators, you're a wa***r and everyone will want to kill you.

Whatever you do don't dare spell VTEC wrongly, even having VTEC written in lower case is not good. And definately don't even dream of even slightly saying anything negative about DOHC VTEC. Because if you were to criticise a DOHC VTEC engine that would be worse than Saddam Hussein's crimes against humanity:eek:.

Some of the other posts were absolutely priceless btw.

positron

I have never sat on an Alfa, but my mates have and I know for a fact that all Alfa's are utter crap, made in Spain. The turbo fails on them every other day, and just like Volvos they rust like mad! Wouldn't touch them with a barge pole even if I had the money...!

barryfitz

In fact all cars are so crap, theres no point even talking about them anymore and therefore we can close down the Motors Forum.

Form all of us here in motors. Goodnight and Goodluck
(youl need it if you drive an alfa):D

ART6

Slig wrote: »

Jesus lads.
Cars, in general, are powered by mixing a highly flamable liquid with air and igniting it in a sealed cylinder to cause a series of explosions, up to 9000 per minute.
How the hell could this not cause problems?:D

Absolutely!! That's why the most economical and reliable cars are those pulled by a horse. They don't generally attract boy racers and old ladies, rarely are involved in fatal accidents, don't require an NCT certificate or road tax, and the fuel is free;)

Sherifu

All of the above; wouldn't touch them with yours.

Biro

All American cars are barges... you can tell cause you often see caddilac's in Canals for dredging...
All German cars are the best ever of all time... you can tell how good a car is by the sound the door makes when it closes.

Stevie Dakota

Nicest door thunk, BMW E60 rear door. Worst BMW E39 front door.

Juan Pablo

Cionád wrote: »

If you spell Alfa romeo "Alpha Romeo" you are worse than a rapist.

lol classic!

zilog_jones

Any car with an overhead camshaft engine is crap. FACT

S.I.R

i agree , All cars are crap, but some crap is a little less crap then the usual crap from crap countrys.... its All aload of crap as far as im concerned.

Steve

White cars that make a lot of noise are crap.

Cmar-Ireland

stevec wrote: »

White cars that make a lot of noise are crap.

landydef

positron wrote: »

I have never sat on an Alfa, but my mates have and I know for a fact that all Alfa's are utter crap,

sat ON an alfa??? apparently even alfa door handles don't work

HJL

landydef wrote: »

sat ON an alfa??? apparently even alfa door handles don't work

LOL,

I know a guy who said his GT TDi Golf raced a Ferrari and won, wasnt really a fair race though as the Golf was fitted with a K & N Induction kit so had an unfair advantage!

landydef

did it have a steep cliff aswell?