The New Rules Of Dating

IvaBigWun

Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. And it should be relatively easy after that but rarely ever is :pac:



Setting a date

* When you ask someone out, make it clear that you are asking them on a formal date. If you don't, they may think you just want to be friends.

* It is okay for a girl to ask out a guy, but she too must make her intentions clear. If she's not serious she may be accused of being a flirt.

* You can set a date by texting but you should confirm by phone.

* If you haven't the guts to talk to your possible date, it is okay to ring when you know they won't be there and leave a message. But it's pretty cowardly.

Sleeping together

* If you sleep with someone on a first date don't say, 'I don't normally do this.' They won't believe you.

* Once a boy sleeps with a girl he should always call her the next day. If he doesn't, he's no gentleman and not worth a second thought.

What is infidelity?

* Some people consider 'emotional infidelity' worse than actually sleeping with someone.

* Being drunk is never an excuse for infidelity. Nor is being so drunk that you don't even remember having sex.

* Sending flirtatious emails is a form of infidelity. If you'd feel uncomfortable showing them to your partner you're on dodgy ground. The same goes for text messages.

* If you sleep with someone else, you should tell your date. They may say they don't mind but they are probably lying.

* If you are still going out after three months, you should talk about making the relationship monogamous.

* If you still want to sleep with other people, that probably means the relationship won't work out anyway.



Add yours!

Overheal

1. their ma is always ready for it.

_feedback_

Fail

Rob_l

Rule number one. Creating rules for any human to human interaction is stupid.


Damn I broke my own first rule

MIN2511

Don't play the waiting game...

If he/she doesn't text or ring then ring them, don't assume anything.

JangoFett

Yeah, rules are a no no, but they're more like guidelines so its cool!

Be honest, I think that you should just go for the kiss at the end of the first date, but make it a tender kiss, otherwise its ruined from then on in

Sherifu

Rules are a bad idea.

Gone West

Sherifu wrote: »

Rules are a bad idea.

especially rules of dating posted on the internet from some Irish (male presumably) character who calls himself "IvABigWun" displaying both a lack of class and poor spelling.

Sherifu

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

especially rules of dating posted on the internet from some Irish (male presumably) character who calls himself "IvABigWun" displaying both a lack of class and poor spelling.

Indeed. ^5

IvaBigWun

FuzzyLogic wrote: »

especially rules of dating posted on the internet from some Irish (male presumably) character who calls himself "IvABigWun" displaying both a lack of class and poor spelling.

lmao

AngryBadger

*If they tell you "I'm not having sex with you tonight", better stock up on condoms 'cause you're in for a long night of the mattress mombo.

*You may be expressing your "love" for him, but he's probably just ****ing you, try not to get these confused.

Q: What's "making love"?
A: Something women do while you're ****ing them

jester77

Make sure her ma will have a full irish ready for you the next morning

Blisterman

Make sure you've a big wun.

'Ol Jack Chance

be clingy...really clingy. the chicks love it

Rb

Isn't there entire websites/forums dedicated to learning/teaching eachother how to get chicks? I can't remember the name of it, but it had some trendy name like "dogging".

JangoFett

And Ladies, we LOVE when you tell us to stop in teh midle of sex and start crying and won't explain why

That happened to me once...

funk-you

Ladies, there's only one word that can properly express feelings of love to a man....Anal. Anything else and we don't believe you.

-Funk

'Ol Jack Chance

funk-you wrote: »

Ladies, there's only one word that can properly express feelings of love to a man....Anal. Anything else and we don't believe you.

+1

Mr. CooL ICE

If she doesn't cook a decent fry the next morning, tell her to feck off

'Ol Jack Chance

LordChessington wrote: »

If shes still there the next morning, tell her to feck off

fixed that for ya

funk-you

LordChessington wrote: »

If she doesn't cook a decent fry the next morning, tell her to feck off

Nah, you can forgive that if you're woken up to her giving you head. Actually, oi wimmen folk. More head, more head for all(Me)!

-Funk

Mr. CooL ICE

funk-you wrote: »

Nah, you can forgive that if you're woken up to her giving you head. Actually, oi wimmen folk. More head, more head for all(Me)!

-Funk

True. Brownie points for head while eating the fry too

_blank_

Send an unsolicited PM to a girl on an internet message board telling her she's a ride, and make some other sleazy comment too.

Guaranteed success.

AnonoBoy

DesF wrote: »

Send an unsolicited PM to a girl on an internet message board telling her she's a ride, and make some other sleazy comment too.

Guaranteed success.

Words of experience?

My Rule: If the next morning a girl expects you to hold open the bedroom door for her while she leaves then you've got yourself trouble ahead.

funk-you

Oh oh, and girls, easiest way to get men to marry you...wait until we're bald and fat. It's then we realise we can't get a hot 18yo any more and settle.

-Funk

Cool_CM

DesF wrote: »

Send an unsolicited PM to a girl on an internet message board telling her she's a ride, and make some other sleazy comment too.

Guaranteed success.

Hmmm, a lot of the time "xXxsxy_gurlxXx" may turn out to look like this
http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/25/06/22180625.jpg
Gotta be careful out there

zero19

Overheal wrote: »

1. their ma is always ready for it.

Yeah, i lol'd

gaeilgegrinds

Upon reading this I really feel like giving up!

Sparky

If her ma is hot and you know it, invite her into the daughters bed too.

arbeitsscheuer

Always aim for the chocolate box. Anything else would be considered rude and indeed a monumental breach of dating etiquette.

Also, incessantly make reference to your past relationships and exes, with particular emphasis on the fact that you had much more fun with them than you're having right now or indeed could ever have. Nothing is more effective at making the object of your affections desperate to do the sex with you.

Unpossible

from cracked.com

The 5 Stages of a Successful Relationship (in a Romantic Comedy)

IvaBigWun

JangoFett wrote: »

And Ladies, we LOVE when you tell us to stop in teh midle of sex and start crying and won't explain why

That happened to me once...

Have YouASmallWun?

IvaBigWun

I meant to say, the first post was from an article on Unison.ie and not my own thoughts. Just thought the AH "New Rules Of Dating" would be interesting to say the least

chickenhawk

IvaBigWun wrote: »

I meant to say, the first post was from an article on Unison.ie and not my own thoughts. Just thought the AH "New Rules Of Dating" would be interesting to say the least

You mean it was an article in Playboy right

Boom_Bap

Girls, if a after a frist date you end up sleeping in the same bed, but without any putting out. If you wake up to the guy having a rub n' tug, it's cool, he's probably thinking about your hooters.
There is the possibilty that he may have fondled you....but it's cool, you where asleep, so it didnt really happen
And if you get a case of the ol' sticky face from him, it means he really likes you but wont kiss you goodbye.

scruff321

complement her on what a nice rack she has always a lady pleaser

monkeyfudge

JangoFett wrote: »

And Ladies, we LOVE when you tell us to stop in teh midle of sex and start crying and won't explain why

That happened to me once...

Yeah... What's the deal with that...? makes me feel like a rapist....

IvaBigWun

scruff321 wrote: »

complement her on what a nice rack she has always a lady pleaser

Yup and keep looking at them all night. Avoid eye contact as much as possible.

Oswald Osbourne

Always be a gentleman! When dropping the hand just use the the one finger. Two or three (or a fist) may be necessary but wait for her to suggest so before application of same.

IvaBigWun

Oswald Osbourne wrote: »

Always be a gentleman! When dropping the hand just use the the one finger. Two or three (or a fist) may be necessary but wait for her to suggest so before application of same.

Can I add that its simply common courtesy to use KY Jelly when using more than 3.

Thank you.

Ruu_Old

IvaBigWun wrote: »

Can I add that its simply common courtesy to use KY Jelly when using more than 3.

Thank you.

Ya big poshie! Use Crisp n Dry.

IvaBigWun

Ruu wrote: »

Ya big poshie! Use Crisp n Dry.

:eek:

Ruu!

I always considered you the Boards equivalent of Walter from the Beano

thefinalstage

Or just wait until she is sufficiently wet .

Slidey

thelastangryman wrote: »

Or just wait until she is sufficiently wet .

fairy liquid hs many uses...

GirlInterrupted

slideways wrote: »

fairy liquid hs many uses...

Sicko:).

Slidey

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Sicko:).

Gives new meaning to the term blowing bubbles!!!:pac:

IvaBigWun

slideways wrote: »

Gives new meaning to the term blowing bubbles!!!:pac:

but thats enough about Michael Jackson

IvaBigWun

With the advent of text culture would you text before you'd ring after getting someones number? I think the more mature of us ring.

_blank_

IvaBigWun wrote: »

With the advent of text culture would you text before you'd ring after getting someones number? I think the more mature of us ring.

Or you could just keep posting a forum member's name, in the desperate hope that they notice you, even after some very inappropriate PMs have been

A. Ignored.
B. Forwarded on to said girl's partner.
C. Eventually sent to an Admin to see what they'd do with them.

Sherifu

O.o

Do tell Des.

_blank_

I think I'll let IvaTINYOne fill you in, if he wants.