Keeping the conversation going

Taco Corp

Hi everyone

I hope that someone can give me advice on something I always seem to have a problem with. I'm a guy in my early twenties and have never been the most confident when talking to the ladies. The problem I have most is actually keeping the conversation going. I sometimes feel under presure to keep it going that eventually this voice goes off in my head that says "what the hell are we going to talk about next?!?". When that happens, well it is usually the end of the conversation. I'm not the type of person that likes to go to places like Coppers and would much rather go to the pub and actually be able to have a conversation. In normal day to day conversations with female friends i have absolutely no problem in talking to them. It seems that when I want that bit more than just conversation I freeze up. Anyone got any ideas on how to keep the conversation going and interesting as well? I figure that this forum is the best place for this thread as I'm particularly interested in the ladies advice!

Thanks

SarahSassy

An easy option is to ask them about themselves.. Have a few 'personal' questions lined up and ask them in a curious but not nosey way.

Stay up to date with music and new bands and also mention any travelling you have done. Travelling is a great conversation filler...

Have an opinion on things whether its Bertie, rugby, soccer etc. I was on a course lately and the tip they had on successful networking was to have an opinion on things... Its the same principle here.

Good luck

Taco Corp

Thanks Sarah. Don't get me wrong I do try to change the topic. but when i start asking myself what do we talk about next, it just seems to make to go wrong. is it a bad idea to keep changing the topic of conversation?

SarahSassy

Ah no its not... Just keep it fluid and dont topic hop back and forth or it could get confusing... Try to be natural and just have confidence in yourself... As I said above have opinions ready but also plan a good few topics you feel comfortable talking about. Think of it like an interview and have a few statements or comments ready in advance.

Dont put a lot of pressure on yourself as most people feel the same way - I know I do. Remember it takes 2 people to have a good conversation...

Balmed Out

Just like us girls love being asked about themselves especially things they can give out. Relax you dont need to be a performing clown, just enjoy yourself and have a laugh.

tallaght01

I've been that soldier many times, mate.

I just found that, as I get older I've much more confidence in myself. I think that when you're more confident, you're much less intimidated by people, so you can talk easily to anyone.

But when I do run out of things to say to a girl, I'll tend to drag her up for a dance. of course, this doesn't really work so well if you don't meet her in a club.

like, dont try it if you meet her in charlie's over a chow mein on a saturday night

Taco Corp

Thanks guys for the advice so far. anyone got any ideas on the things to avoid talking about?

Diairist

speaking as (generally) a dismal failure in conversation sometimes nothing is a smart thing to say: leave a space / gap for what the other person just thought of, or they might have mor to sayon whatever topic yez are on. They may reveal an interest you didn't expect.

Oryx

Surley wrote: »

Thanks guys for the advice so far. anyone got any ideas on the things to avoid talking about?

Just seconding whats been said. Relax. Talk about stuff you know, and that interests you. Even having a gander at the tabloids every day means youre up to date on whats going on in the world, as well as some of the sillier stories which can make for something good to talk about.

Death is an obvious thing not to talk about. Or weight issues.:) You know the score. If you wouldnt talk about it to your regular friends, dont bring it up with a potential girlfriend.

ozchick

Surley wrote: »

Thanks guys for the advice so far. anyone got any ideas on the things to avoid talking about?

Well you did mention something about talking about yourself...do you do that too much? (just think back to previous conversations) If they aren't responsive maybe you fill the gaps with talking about yourself instead.

Usually way to go is asking where they live (not address;)) or where they grew up, family, what takes up most of their time (i,e study, work etc) can sound a bit rude to say 'what do you do'? Then trips/travel/sport, what are their goals/dreams and try to avoid yes/no answer questions.

Abi

Surley wrote: »

"what the hell are we going to talk about next?!?".

You are worrying too much about this, to the point where you probably look uneasy and panicky in front of the lady. All I can advise to you is to get to know here as well as you can, see what makes her tick.

She tells you she likes - - - - kind of films etc., cue you with 'yeah thought that was great. theres a great one out at the mo, would you like to go?

So tell me about your family? She tells you that she has a mother/father/bro/ sis etc, but mams not feeling the best at the mo, visiting her in hospital .. *remember this* next meet, ask her how the mother is doing. she will be impressed you remembered.

Is she going away this year? leading to conversations about where you are both going / have been etc.

If you are interested, and remember everything that she tells you about herself and her life it makes it much easier to connect, and she will appreciate it. Remember to put in your own experiences if you have anything to compare. It will make her feel at ease.

If you just relax, the conversation will flow. Women smell fear like dogs

chuci

as long as your interesting and leave gaps for the other person to reply talk about either hot topics or travel as someone mentioned is always a good filler. have an opinion but dont be over the top with it either. if all else fails compliment her on her outfit that will at least buy you an hours worth of conversation:D