Friends relationship - what do you not like/like?

SarahSassy

I think it is great to be in a relationship but as an outsider looking in there are a couple of things I have seen in friends relationships which I would not like to have in a relationship of mine..

For example, I have a friend whose husband doesnt speak to her very politely.... In fact he can be v rude but she doesnt seem to notice anymore...

Another one is a friend whose fiance wont go to any functions with her e.g. christenings etc.

The girls say they are happy but the above would be definite red flags for me in any relationship...

What is it for you?

MizzLolly

The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

P*sses me off! :mad:

Jules

I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!

I like to keep out of things like that. I don't like to judge other peoples lives by my own standards.

What does annoy me about my friends and their other halves.
Is that certain friends find it impossible to keep the smallest bit of information to themselves.
So their partners are privy to things I would prefer to keep private. Like medical problems, or reasons for relationship break ups.

I just hate knowing that people who don't give a **** about me, and don't really know me, are spouting BS opinions about my life behind my back. :mad:

JaneyMc

My friends boyfriend is like a child with a few drinks on him, a 6 year old child who has had too much coca cola and too many sweets. Ruins nights out. I like him otherwise though.

jellie

MizzLolly wrote: »

The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi.

i hate this, i have friends similar but not quite so extreme as to ring him all the way home in the taxi. its gotten to the stage where if we're going out i just presume the bfs will be there too. now theyre nice enough guys, i have no problem with them but sometimes it would be nice to just have all girls. i recently attempted to have a girly night but was told by 1 of them "oh i think X has already invited himself along"!

The texting constantly annoys me too. God youre seeing me for a couple of hours, you probably saw him an hour ago, can you not cope with no contact for a whole 2 hours! my bf knows not to expect to hear from me for a bit if ive gone to meet the girls.

This all irritates me & i have a bf, a couple of the girls in the group are single (1 in particular REALLY unhappy about it) so id imagine they find it even more annoying than i do.

Crumble Froo

dont really have much to complain about here, except that when a friend is having difficulties in the relationship, it can be a bit awkward/weird tlaking about it when you know the b/f pretty well as well, particularly if you happen to be privvy to both sides. i tend to avoid that as much as possible, but not always possible.

other than that... nothing worse than seeing a friend in a relationship going nowhere, being just walked over, and taking it like a willing puppy... knowing every time they go round to see the otehr half, that their hopes will get up , just to be let down and taken for granted later.

aye

SarahSassy wrote: »

Another one is a friend whose fiance wont go to any functions with her e.g. christenings etc.
?

a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?

MizzLolly wrote: »

The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

P*sses me off! :mad:

yes that drives me mad too with the lads. what the hell can they be talking about 24/7?

Jules wrote: »

I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!

i dont know why he didnt introduce her to his mates, unless he has low self-esteem and is worried she might fancy one of them or something?

all the stars

i know someone who's other half is very possesive & jealous & immature.. that would drive me demented!

John Mason

i like all my friends husbands, they are good blokes. my friends are very much, "we are out feck him and the kids who cares"

actually, one friends husband hits on me the whole time but i just laugh at him now

Mrs_Doyle

Its easy to get smug about your own relationship, isn't it?

I have friends, and when they tell me crazy things about their relationships, and I'm 'yes-ing' and 'no-ing' in all the right places, I'm often smirking on the inside thinking, "Mmm, me and Connundrum will never be like that".

DubLegs

I have this one friend who is constantly breaking up and getting back together with her bf. I mean at a rate of once a month!
She doesn't listen to any advice given to her, is constantly calling me in tears when i'm with my OH (even in the middle of night) and then expects me to forget everything that has gone on when they get back together and pretend nothing happened. Wouldn't mind be he's not the nicest of men - always rude, never wanting to be there and totally blanks my OH when we all together.

Suppose i should just tell her that i don't want to be involved when it goes wrong the next time but I just feel sorry for her when it goes wrong.
Thank god no kids involved.

Dudess

MizzLolly wrote: »

The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

I can officially state I hate women like that. I wouldn't bother my arse making an effort to meet up with her.

aye wrote: »

a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?

And I think this should be applicable to weddings. Why the fukk should someone invite a friend's/relation's boyfriend or girlfriend whom they barely know and who doesn't want to be there anyway? It's a pathetic tradition, made all the more pathetic by those who blindly comply with it.

Ginny

Jules wrote: »

I had a friend who was in a relationship with a guy and he never introduced her to any of his friends. And never went out to places where they might of been seen by friends. She didn't seem to be worried about it... i would be seriously pissed off!

That would send up a flag straight away that he was in another relationship!


Mine would be, one boyfriend/husband doesn't do anything with the kid.
Another one can be quite rude when were out, he wants the girls attention all the time and will call her while she's talking to other people until she has to stop the conversation and talk to him.
All in all the relationships work for those couples, thats why they're together:D

Femelade

aye wrote: »

a friend of mine went to his girlfriends nephew christening a couple of saturdays ago. is that expected? i can understand some things no problem, but his girlfriends nephew, i would assume that would just be family?

well if my sister has another baby, of course i would expect my boyfriend to come with me to the christening...He knows all my family really well, i think it would be bad of him not to go with me tbh...unless he had a good excuse of course..

Dudess

There are occasions though that I'd rather bring my best mate to than my boyfriend. Why does it always have to be the person's partner?

Femelade

well i dont really have any close friends really, i have one best friend who lives in Limerick, so we dont see eachother much, so apart from her, my boyfriend is a close friend, and the person i would want with me at family occasions.

aye

i suppose it depends on the situation.
maybe it just annoys me slightly, cos i know he doesn't want to go, and the last few family occasions he's had she hasn't gone to any of them, but he is expected to her family occasions.

Dudess

Femmy wrote: »

well i dont really have any close friends really, i have one best friend who lives in Limerick, so we dont see eachother much, so apart from her, my boyfriend is a close friend, and the person i would want with me at family occasions.

Oh no that wasn't directed at you in particular

Just venting at the blind acceptance people have of the concept of bringing partners to stuff that they're not even interested in and/or they might not even know anyone else there. As you said, your boyfriend knows and gets on well with your family.

ValleyoftheDoll

My best friends BF gets very jealous, especially when he's had a few drinks. It can be very uncomfortable, so I now making excuses not to go with them.

Also it bugs when when they've had a fight (every week) she's telling me all the things he's done, then they sort things out and everything is fine between them again. I am now only remembering the bad crap that I have to listen to all the time and I'm really starting to dislike him :mad:

Lil' Smiler

MizzLolly wrote: »

The fact that my friend can't do ANYTHING without her bf. She takes him to my place when she's visiting me! She texts him allll bloody night if we try have a girls night out! She then rings him alllllll the way home in the taxi. She's quick to point out all my faults and make little of my past relationships but heaven forbid I should ever say anything about her dearly beloved!

P*sses me off! :mad:

Ooooh i have a friend like that :mad:

One of my friends and her bf seemed to have morphed into the one person, they do nothing without each other. It's very irritating,for example, a few weeks ago we realised all the girls hadn't seen each other very much so this particular girl invited us down to her house for a girly sleepover like the good old days....and her boyfriend was there!!!!!!! for the whole night!!!! They don't live together, they both live with their parents.

Then one of the girls and her bf are unreal, all over each other ALL the time. It is absolutely ridiculous sometimes, in a club dry humping against the wall, really going at it. Eurgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dudess

It's pathetic - learn some self control.

Gordon

Ah they're young, we were young once. /reminisce

Dudess

Indeed - and very much besotted. And yet I still managed to control myself in front of friends.

SarahSassy

Thought it would be a good idea to highlight the positives as well as the negatives.

I have two friends who treat each other so well and are so kind to each other its the 'standard' I would set for any relationship I have.... He even treats me well and talks to you like a person and not just like a woman - dunno if that makes sense.

My boss's wife seems a little bit high maintenance and he treats her so well (I hear him on the phone) and seems to have endless patience with her.

I like that my Dad does the hoovering every Saturday. They are of the generation where the woman does everything but he does his few jobs on Saturdays..

Dudess

*Groan*
No matter what way you dress it up, this is yet another relationship thread. I don't care whether the relationship threads are started by loved-up people, people in a rut with their relationships, people who want to be single forever, people who have a friend-with-benefits, people who would like to be in a relationship... whatever. Enough with the relationship threads already!!

SarahSassy

I dont see a problem and thought it was good to talk about the positive as well as the negatives...

Women talk about relationships FACT.

Dudess

More a stereotype tbh. Why perpetuate it?

SarahSassy

Dudess wrote: »

More a stereotype tbh. Why perpetuate it?

Oh just lock the bloody thread so... Free speech my bloody a%s*


:mad:

Jules

Dudess is not a mod on this forum SS, so its not her call. I am gonna merge them though and change the thread title, hopefully that will keep everyone happy!

Susannahmia

Dudess wrote: »

*Groan*
No matter what way you dress it up, this is yet another relationship thread. I don't care whether the relationship threads are started by loved-up people, people in a rut with their relationships, people who want to be single forever, people who have a friend-with-benefits, people who would like to be in a relationship... whatever. Enough with the relationship threads already!!

I think it's a good thread. Let people talk about what they want.

My friends boyfriend dropped out of college and is living with her rent free, he couldn't even hold a job down in a supermarket so he has been fired. He is making a really half assed effort to find another job now. He also has a habit of telling fibs, nothing major but still annoying. If he was my boyfriend I would kill him.:rolleyes:

He doesn't really like going out so she doesn't go out half as much anymore, when she does come out and brings him he usually does something lannoying like start a stupid argument or go home early. So many good nights ruined.

He is a nice guy but I could never go out with him.

Loopy

Lil' Smiler wrote: »

a few weeks ago we realised all the girls hadn't seen each other very much so this particular girl invited us down to her house for a girly sleepover like the good old days....and her boyfriend was there!!!!!!! for the whole night!!!!

I have a friend like that, I go down to see her every so often (she lives quite far away and dosen't drive) so I travel to her and stay over. The past few times I have gone down her OH has been there and sits yaking with us and dosen't give us a minute. Really annoys me.

Faerie

It can be annoying if your friend just tends to ignore you or take you for granted when they're in a relationship. I've a friend who never bothers to meet up or do anything when she has a boyfriend and then just walks back into your life when it ends!
However, it does annoy me when single friends get obsessed with monitoring your behaviour with your boyfriend. I think the idea of 'girly' nights is hypocritical generally.....it's different if you all arrange to go for a quiet drink/cinema/dinner/dvd night and drag a boyfriend along. That is strange! If it's a night clubbing or going to a pub though then I don't see the problem. It's not like you're going to be having any confidential conversations and it's just a night out! I've been guilted into these only to have previously indignant friends spend the night with random guys. It's okay for single girls to chat up randomers but I can't bring my boyfriend???

MizzLolly

Lil' Smiler wrote: »

Ooooh i have a friend like that :mad:

She did it again lastnight :mad: Texting him all bloody night and then when me and my other friend tried to ignore it and just danced and acted generally drunk and zany she started rolling her eyes!! WTF???? I know I sound mean but I'm too exhausted with her to even try at the moment, I'll just have to avoid her for a while. I don't think it's fair to expect us all to sit around with her while she texts her boyfriend. We're both single so why should we feel obliged to behave a certain way? It not even like they're all smoochy or anything. They fight ALL the time (and to be honest, most of it is just her moaning and looking for drama) but I actually avoid hanging out with them now. I don't wana go out to listen to them fight and make up and fight and make up etc.. all bloody night long!!


Euuurgghhh.... she's driving me nutts!!!!!!! :mad::mad:


Okay, rant over! :cool:


*Now I feel really guilty for venting it. I don't want to hurt her but why can't she just spend a few hours without being on the phone to him?!

minidazzler

I have the same problem as Faerie. All my friends get Girlfriends and then end up constantly cancelling plans at the last minute because "She" wants to do something
I had one night where me and all my male buddies were going on the piss. I made it perfectly clear that it was a Lads night. They all brought there Girlfriends. I mean now there were 6 of us going out!!! and it turned out that I was actually an 11th wheel!!!