Rules of Dating

Donie75

Ladies,
I'm looking for some help, as a guy who is useless at this dating & relationship stuff.
Do women have dating rules? I was talking to a group of friengs (guys) recently who said that there is a book (probably American) detailing the techniques and rules of dating and finding the right man. Apparently it covers stuff like time schedules in a relationship, not being too clingy or available... and lots of other stuff.
What do the Ladies of TLL think?

LadyE

Donie75 wrote: »

Ladies,
I'm looking for some help, as a guy who is useless at this dating & relationship stuff.
Do women have dating rules? I was talking to a group of friengs (guys) recently who said that there is a book (probably American) detailing the techniques and rules of dating and finding the right man. Apparently it covers stuff like time schedules in a relationship, not being too clingy or available... and lots of other stuff.
What do the Ladies of TLL think?

I think I need that book!

[WoW]

IMO books on dating are just a money making racket. everyone's different. I know everyone says this but just act yourself;). whats the point in sticking to rules if eventually you might go steady and you'll have to act yourself anyway?
you'll either get along or you wont.
Some girls probably do have rules like not texting back for at least a day or they'l seem too clingy etc

tallaght01

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

aye

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

minidazzler

Donie, Why would you tell the Ladies of TLL about this book? Are you mad? Now every guy any of them dates (who believe what the Book says and act on it) Will not feel well!!!!

Knowledge is Power, but American Dating books are horrible horrible things!!!

heavyheart

Chemistry between ye will make you forget about any rules anyway so forget about them... relax and go with the flow of the date (s) ...

Latchy

That dating book sounds so 50s american but then again the amercian way of dating is a bit different to the european/irish way in that dating to them is like sugar in their coffee, like a routine of sorts and they can be dating 2,3 or more people at once .Their are no rules to dating really except appearences good manners, and not being a tight wad go a long way in the end .

kaimera

There was me thinking there might be something useful I could use for tomorrow night

Guess I'll have to wing it

watna

I think the whole ideas of dating books is ridiculous. They actually annoy me. There's not prescribed behaviour that women (or men) find attractive and no sure fire way to be succesful at dating.

You just meet the right person, that's all. What one lay-dee might think was sweet and romantic and a nice way to play things, might have me reaching for a bucket!

Maple

aye wrote: »

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

Good God not this book. Its hilarious. "I find you oddly attractive" :eek: Bog off you gobsh1te!

MizzLolly

tallaght01 wrote: »

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

He's totally right!!

watna

tallaght01 wrote: »

Rule number 1 from the Tallaght01 (stunningly unsuccessful) dating rule book:

No matter how much you like her early on, don't let her see the full extent of your feelings. She'll run a mile. So play it cool for the first while.

Haven't gotten to rule 2 yet

Rule 2: Wash regularly!

aye

maple wrote: »

Good God not this book. Its hilarious. "I find you oddly attractive" :eek: Bog off you gobsh1te!

yep it's hilarious i agree. its not a relationship book, just funny and interesting.

Dragan

aye wrote: »

read the game by neill strauss. it's a biography of how he bacame a pick up artist. it's not a relationship or self help book, it's a good read tho.

I read that and thought it was a comedy to be honest.

Besides, if you need a book for something as simple as human interaction with the opposite sex then you'd be better off buying a bible and having a pray.

It would help about as much as anything else.

Maple

aye wrote: »

yep it's hilarious i agree. its not a relationship book, just funny and interesting.

A guy at home tried to use some lines out of this book on my sister and I at Christmas. He was mortified when we pulled him up on it. The tool.

There is absolutly nothing less attractive than someone not listening to you, with a smug **** eating grin on their face. Having already anticipated your point/reactions/desires.
Because someone has let them in on the holy grail of intersex relations.
The knowledge that women are essentially uniform, like a borg collective.

I smack men like this.

John Mason

The Book is called "The Rules". it's about 10 years old, we bought it for a ex-friend for her birthday because was/is a mess when i comes to men, she turns into a bunny boiler and stalks them until they have to get restraining orders (i am serious)

anyway, it says things like: -

Always finish the phone call first, that way he will think are a busy

If you phone him, keep a stop watch and time the call, you must finish it after 9 minutes, i think

If he phones after wednesday to ask you out for a date at the weekend. Always so no that you have plans. whether you do or not or else he will think you have kept your weekend free just in case he called


thats all i can remember

tallaght01

watna wrote: »

Rule 2: Wash regularly!

Jeezo, girls are so demanding nowadays.

Donie75

Cheers for all the replies. This is only a bit of fun. The topic came up for discussion when one of the lads said he thought he was being played a bit by a woman he is seeing. He said he felt she was working from a set of rules like not replying to texts immediately, sometimes 24 hours. Also things like not being available for a few days or not inviting him when he drops her home after a date even though they were seeing each other for a few weeks.
All the guys are in their early thirties so I guess most of the women they meet would have a more long term view to relationships, but not all.

Nevyn

Rules ? like as in THE rules, as in a codifed set that everyone agrees to be bound by and to used ?

No such things, other crap if you ask me, people may have thier own personal rules but if there is a generic set that all women are ment to use then I never recieved a copy or signed up to be bound by them.

aye

irishbird wrote: »

anyway, it says things like: -

If he phones after wednesday to ask you out for a date at the weekend. Always so no that you have plans. whether you do or not or else he will think you have kept your weekend free just in case he called


thats all i can remember

thats ridiculous.
as a guy i would just think she doesnt have much on this weekend, not that she kept it free for me. our ego's aren't that big :rolleyes: (i hope)

netopia789

but how do i ask out a gril i like in school

humanji

Apparently you keep pulling her pigtails.

Balmed Out

Be clean and put some thought into what your wearing, consider using the iron.
Be on time, she prob wont but still.
Notice and complement her appearance. I find compliments regarding hair and accesories etc that match what shes wearing work best. Shows u appreciate she put a bit of time into getting ready.
Dont be too passive. Girls apparently dont like it if u let her decide everyrthing ie where u go, sit etc.
Be funny without saying anything too risky.
Be interested in what she does, is interested in etc. Try your best to remember it too.
Remember her name.

topper75

Was really into this girl at start of year - she was ticking boxes faster than a pen can write. Blonde, bubbly, intelligent, sporty, seemed v. together emotionally.

However, I got these alternate waves of enthusiasm and coolness that just did my head in.

The really odd thing was this mathematical proportion of communication initiatives! i.e. she only calls/texts me once for every two calls/texts from me to her! A perfect 2:1 rule thing going on.

I had to move on. It was childish. Shame.

Moral of the story - girls can play games to entertain themselves - however if you really want a fella to stick around - natural is always best approach. We fellas can be thick - but not that thick. From some of the posts here - it seems that the only possible approaches for a girl are 'cucumber cool' or 'bunny-boiler'!

Donie75

I did a bit of googling and found a list of "The Rules" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rules
I read them in amazement because I could see how a lot of them have been used on my and my mates. A good few were very relevant to the discussion we had...
They must be very shallow women to live by these rules...

Dragan

31 : Don't Discuss the Rules with your Therapist lol

Man, those rules seem pretty tailor made to keep you single.

aye

Dragan wrote: »

31 : Don't Discuss the Rules with your Therapist lol

Man, those rules seem pretty tailor made to keep you single.

got to agree with that!!


# 05: Don't Call Him & Rarely Return His Calls

Donie75

Yeah Topper75,
I had a similar experience with a girl before, it all looked perfect but she definitely seemed to be playing some sort of game. One of her friends even told me that she worked of a set of dating rules. I'm not sure if they were the same ones but i could definitely see a similarity with a good few of them. Like not seeing me more than once or twice a week. I lost interest after a few months of trying fairly hard.

D

topper75

Shame Donie.

I can understand a girl in midteens trying this but when girls in their late20s early30s are reading such books... any girl with a half a brain would recognise this book as daft. Don't see any girl here defending them.

panda100

irishbird wrote: »

The Book is called "The Rules". it's about 10 years old, we bought it for a ex-friend for her birthday because was/is a mess when i comes to men, she turns into a bunny boiler and stalks them until they have to get restraining orders (i am serious)

Its actually the funniest book Ive ever read in my life.But its the bigggest selling self help/dating book of all time :eek:
It says that you cannot visit the guys house until you get a ring on your finger. Oh and you cant call/email/text him first until you get a ring on your finger.
It basically tells you to act like a completly differnet person all demure and shy until your engaged and then you can show your true colours to him.

watna

panda100 wrote: »

Its actually the funniest book Ive ever read in my life.But its the bigggest selling self help/dating book of all time :eek:
It says that you cannot visit the guys house until you get a ring on your finger. Oh and you cant call/email/text him first until you get a ring on your finger.
It basically tells you to act like a completly differnet person all demure and shy until your engaged and then you can show your true colours to him.

That's pathetic! Why would you want to be with a man who wants a woman like that? urggh!

Dragan

watna wrote: »

That's pathetic! Why would you want to be with a man who wants a woman like that? urggh!

Personally, the whole shy and demur thing is not my cup of tea. Give me a lively woman with soul and character.

The Maxx needs his Jungle Queen*


* Undying respect for anyone who gets that without Google.

panda100

watna wrote: »

That's pathetic! Why would you want to be with a man who wants a woman like that? urggh!

The funny thing is the two authors of the book are now divorced and single.I think that says it all

Alessandra

Anyone ever read "He's Just not that into you"? utter tripe and common sense to anyone woman not blinded by love/lust.

Dragan

The funniest thing is all these books are written by men for men or by women for women.

Would be nice to see someone write a book to help out the opposite sex. It might be a bit more realistic?

"Hi, my name is Dragan. Here are some simple and easy things to remember when your looking for a partner. Don't read any bull**** books and just be yourself.

Yours.
Dragan"

End.

ValleyoftheDoll

panda100 wrote: »

Its actually the funniest book Ive ever read in my life.But its the bigggest selling self help/dating book of all time :eek:
It says that you cannot visit the guys house until you get a ring on your finger. Oh and you cant call/email/text him first until you get a ring on your finger.
It basically tells you to act like a completly differnet person all demure and shy until your engaged and then you can show your true colours to him.

+1 i thought this was a joke when I read it, it's so funny, all I can remember is that it recommends you wear short skirts and do a lot of sit ups while your waiting for the man to ring you, you can never ring the man first :rolleyes:

watna

Dragan wrote: »

The funniest thing is all these books are written by men for men or by women for women.

Would be nice to see someone write a book to help out the opposite sex. It might be a bit more realistic?

"Hi, my name is Dragan. Here are some simple and easy things to remember when your looking for a partner. Don't read any bull**** books and just be yourself.

Yours.
Dragan"

End.

You could put in on a fridge magnet intead of in a book!

Latchy

Anybody got a copy of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus i could borrow

netopia789

ya but what if she is all ways what here franands

Dragan

netopia789 wrote: »

ya but what if she is all ways what here franands

do you speaka ze Inglish?

Dave5

Donie75 wrote: »

Ladies,
I'm looking for some help, as a guy who is useless at this dating & relationship stuff.
Do women have dating rules? I was talking to a group of friengs (guys) recently who said that there is a book (probably American) detailing the techniques and rules of dating and finding the right man. Apparently it covers stuff like time schedules in a relationship, not being too clingy or available... and lots of other stuff.
What do the Ladies of TLL think?

Donie, would you not just use your common sense, when you're going on a date with a girl?

What people are posting is dead right, but most of it is obvious.

Rules? as the lyrics from that BelllX1 song go '...would you go away and ****e.' I think you're watching too much Oprah Winfrey.

This is Ireland mate, chances are you'll both be half cut when you both end up at the local boozer at the end of the night...locked.:D

Zaph

Holy necrophiliac threads Batman!

We've been doing fine without it all this time, so no real need to keep it open.