Sex prevert detained!!

Mr. Presentable

http://www.wtol.com:80/global/story.asp?s=8082496&ClientType=Printable

Bellevue man facing charges for having sex with a table

Posted: March 28, 2008 10:24 AM


BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.

The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.

The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.

Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.

"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.

The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.

"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.

Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.

"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.

This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

this is why people have sheds

Overheal

Guys got wood.

Rb

Lmao

eringobragh

NEWS JUST IN: Ann summers launches new line of Picnic Tables.

Hope it was plastic.. Shrudders to think of splinters!!!

Ruu_Old

Love the varnish you are wearing tonight, dear. What is it, Ronseal?

Dave!

Fair play, at least he got the leg over!

Mr. Presentable

Ruu wrote: »

Love the varnish you are wearing tonight, dear. What is it Ronseal?

Keep up Ruu. If it was Ronseal he'd only have to do it once every four years

Rb

eringobragh wrote: »

NEWS JUST IN: Ann summers launches new line of Picnic Tables.

Hope it was platic.. Shrudders to think of splinters!!!

Article said it was metal.

Possibly trying to create the vagina of a dead person?

Mr. Presentable

rb_ie, you sexy beast - don't say you've never considered it with furniture.

eringobragh

rb_ie wrote: »

Article said it was metal.

Possibly trying to create the vagina of a dead person?

Missed that when i skimmed through it.

A proper freak all the same :rolleyes:

Cool_CM

Ah, reminds me of the scottish guy who was arrested for having a dirty weekend away in a hotel with his bicycle
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

cormie

ok so it tells us how he used the table, but how did the Scott make love to a bicycle??

Rb

nipplenuts wrote: »

rb_ie, you sexy beast - don't say you've never considered it with furniture.

Well, not quite, but this one time when i was about 15 i was reading FHM in my mates house. It had a guy testing out all these ways to "pleasure" himself. Arm Bands won hands down with an 8/10!!!

Well a couple of days later on a school night, i was all alone, everybody in bed when I started considering an ole fiddle. Armbanda flashed into my mind and then their location in our house. One thing led to another and i had an armband caught underneath to a cushion on the couch and we were making Sweeet sweeeeet love.





Not actually my story - link

Adam

His poor kids are going to get slagged like no one has ever been slagged before...and they will never be able to enjoy a picnic!

Dave!

Cool_CM wrote: »

Ah, reminds me of the scottish guy who was arrested for having a dirty weekend away in a hotel with his bicycle
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

I'd say that was a good roide, wha! wha! wha!

eringobragh

Cool_CM wrote: »

Ah, reminds me of the scottish guy who was arrested for having a dirty weekend away in a hotel with his bicycle
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

cormie wrote: »

ok so it tells us how he used the table, but how did the Scott make love to a bicycle??

Must have been the village bicycle

Mr. Presentable

cormie wrote: »

ok so it tells us how he used the table, but how did the Scott make love to a bicycle??

A bike is just a bike, but a good bike, why, that's a ride!!!

Kintarō Hattori

cormie wrote: »

ok so it tells us how he used the table, but how did the Scott make love to a bicycle??

And why do you want to know that Cormie...... eh? Eh? :eek:

Cool_CM

cormie wrote: »

ok so it tells us how he used the table, but how did the Scott make love to a bicycle??

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

I think you have to use your imagination!

Creature

Damn sexy picnic table, leading that poor guy astray.

cormie

I think my bike is hot:pac:

To be fair to the chap, I'm sure he didn't intend for the school children to see it, bit unfair for him to be accused of a felony.

Overheal

He couldnt bring it inside? Get a tube-sock? Doll? I mean come on. I hate to say it but your back yard is not always perfect privacy. If the neighbours could see it whats to say a kid wouldnt see it from their own back yard?

thefinalstage

Let the guy be. He is harming no on.

Ghost Train

the neighbour video taped it :eek:
sounds like a pervert, what if a kid was to see the tape, they should lock up the neighbour

AckwelFoley

Hmmmmm...

i thought Hagar was in the South of france.

Sherifu

Some tables are sluts though.

Steve.Pseudonym

I don't see why that scottish guy was arrested, let alone prosecuted. Sure, ****ing a bike isn't exactly normal, but who cares?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Can you be done for having sex with an inanimate object? I mean, it's not as if the table's mentally scared for life and have to go for counselling. Presumable, then, the guy won't be able to apply for jobs with inanimate objects for five years?

And I don;t buy that crap about "it may have been witnessed by a minor" - virtuall yevery parents who has a lax attitude to their kids' internet usage will be in trouble then...

o dear

A-Trak

Sherifu wrote: »

Some tables are sluts though.

LOL.

Is it wrong to be half baked looking at that table?

Also it looks like something Ron Burgundy would have at home which makes it even more brilliant.

rubadub

What was the table wearing at the time, some of those revealing tablecloths are disgraceful. You can't go out dressed like that, the table was asking for it.

Reminds me of the guy saying to the judge "I was having a piss in the field and the donkey just backed into me, repeatedly...."

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

And another thing: was the table less than 18 years old?

Jesus Wept

What a sap!

I've just logged in and I was pineing for a good read,
I woodened of expected to find this!

I'm rooting for some more good puns!

cormie

The-Rigger wrote: »

What a sap!

I've just logged in and I was pineing for a good read,
I woodened of expected to find this!

I'm rooting for some more good puns!

Sorry, but the table was metal :P

Jesus Wept

Metal? Why would someone fúck a metal table?
There are far fewer puns, I can't understand that.

I'm leafing.

maybe he is a bit iron
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=iron

homosexual - from rhyming slang (iron hoof/poof)

galwayrush

sure goes against the grain..............:eek:

galwayrush

The-Rigger wrote: »

Metal? Why would someone fúck a metal table?
There are far fewer puns, I can't understand that.

I'm leafing.

Maybe he likes a bit of Rust,:D

Oswald Osbourne

Update: Apparently Price committed the bizarre crime as an act of revenge after he caught his wife having an affair on him.

For several months Price had suspected his wife of being unfaithful and set a private eye her. Pictorial evidence confirmed his suspicions. :mad:

galwayrush

galwayrush wrote: »

Maybe he likes a bit of Rust,:D

Ah so, but he's turning Japanese so it's a bit of lust!

smellslikeshoes

Seems a bit harsh alright, a bit more common sense would go a long way but I doubt he really intended any harm.

Sherifu

Thread dragged up for an announcement:

"The Ohio man caught on camera having sex with a picnic table has been jailed for six months"

Justice for tables everywhere.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/06/26/picnic_table_sentence/

cormie

Booo! What good is jail going to do him?

kaimera

bah, I was expecting a thread about snyper

Jumpy

I guess he likes flat women.

Adam

Wait... prevert?? Is this before he moves on to bigger and better things?

omb0wyn5ehpij9

There are far too many weirdo's out there!!!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

BrynW wrote: »

There are far too many weirdo's out there!!!

Everyone is someone else's weirdo, my good man...

Mr. Presentable

Mirror wrote: »

Wait... prevert?? Is this before he moves on to bigger and better things?

Before he turns green!

nipplenuts

nipplenuts wrote: »

Before he turns green!

Well; using a wooden table would be more environmebtally friendly (to the environment not the table)