It doesn't make sense

pants20

Hi all,

Long time reader, first time poster. Hope some of ye can shed some light on my problem. I have been with my boyfriend now for 6 months. As far, as I knew all was going well. we were organising holidays and talking of the future. He always acknowledged to me how much he thought and cared about me.

10 days ago, I rang him and asked him did he want to go out. He asked me what I wanted to do but he did say he wouldn't be ready to head out til 9 as he had meeting to go to....... Now, fast forward to today, that is the last time I've heard from him.

I've tried ringing his number but its turned off.

What should I do? His this him blowing me off after 6 months? I'm in bits over this.

Cathmandooo

Sounds odd, do you know he's alright? He's not in hospital or anything? Maybe he's going through some family crisis. Or maybe his phone was stolen and he's been busy since?

Call over to him but be prepared that he might be breaking up with you. At least then you'll know where you stand.

Stercus Accidit

Cathooo wrote: »

Sounds odd, do you know he's alright? He's not in hospital or anything? Maybe he's going through some family crisis. Or maybe his phone was stolen and he's been busy since?

Call over to him but be prepared that he might be breaking up with you. At least then you'll know where you stand.

OP I doubt he's in hospital.

He may be snowed under, lost his phone etc.

Sometimes I'm impossible to contact if I'm busy, get in contact with him, his family, whatever and find out what the story is.

Miss Fluff

Well it doesn't bode well tbh OP, how often normally would you be in contact? Did you go out together in the end after he said he wouldn't be free until after 9pm? Do you normally email each other? It sounds very bizarre indeed although if this is his cowardly way of breaking up with you then you have had a lucky escape to be honest.

Oryx

Would it have been normal to have regular (but known about) gaps in communication like this, caused by work or whatever?

And do you know his friends, family etc, that you could give a quick bell to make sure hes not say, arrested or anything? (Im joking, but you know what I mean.)

If when you get back in touch I hope he has a good reason for being uncontactable, cos it does seem strange

Abi

Miss Fluff wrote: »

if this is his cowardly way of breaking up with you then you have had a lucky escape to be honest.

I agree. Even if his phone was stolen / broken, I'm sure at this stage the OP has mentioned where she lives.

Loomis

Sounds very odd. Have you met his family? If there was some kind of accident surely they'd have contacted you by now.
If it's his way of breaking up then you're better off tbh. Though the phone being off is strange; surely he'd turn it on at some stage if it's his way of breaking up. Otherwise it'd be a case of him buying a new phone in order to be able to avoid you til you got the hint. Which would be incredibly sad on his part and again you'd be better off

Mazeire

Maybe things went badly at the meeting and he is either very busy as a result or on a downer after it?
I think that Cathoos suggestion of going over to him is a good one. Keep cool and dont get all "where the hell have you been??!!!" do be prepared in case it is bad news though. Maybe talk to a friend tell her what is going on and ask her for a lift over to his place and if she wouldn't mind waiting in the car out of skight and be there for you if needed.

heavyheart

Mazeire wrote: »

Maybe things went badly at the meeting and he is either very busy as a result or on a downer after it?
I think that Cathoos suggestion of going over to him is a good one. Keep cool and dont get all "where the hell have you been??!!!" do be prepared in case it is bad news though. Maybe talk to a friend tell her what is going on and ask her for a lift over to his place and if she wouldn't mind waiting in the car out of skight and be there for you if needed.

Agree with Mazeire , i no there must be a thousand things going through your mind but dont make any assumptions and drive yourself crazy ... call a friend get them to drive you over and take it from there .... there has to be some explanation for his actions but youll have to find them out face to face ..

Mr. Incognito

Sounds like his phone was nicked or the like- do you have a mutual friend or a flatmates number?

Clare Bear

What?? You've been going out with him for 6 months and you haven't heard from him in 10 days?? And it's only now you're wondering about this? Why haven't you used other means of contacting him? Surely after 6 months you have his email, home address etc? He'd want to have a very good excuse when you do eventually track him down. If not good riddance.

aye

did you try to ring his house phone?

pants20

heavyheart wrote: »

Agree with Mazeire , i no there must be a thousand things going through your mind but dont make any assumptions and drive yourself crazy ... call a friend get them to drive you over and take it from there .... there has to be some explanation for his actions but youll have to find them out face to face ..

He doesn't have a house phone. I'm going to go over to his house this evening. I'm ready for all eventualities in my head. Perhaps, this is his way of blowing me off......... and if it is I'm sooooo much better without him. Also, if it is, he needs to go and grow some balls!!!

I will let you all know how it goes. I was mad about this man and I will be deeply saddened if this is it. Time will tell........ wish me luck

Cathmandooo

pants20 wrote: »

He doesn't have a house phone. I'm going to go over to his house this evening. I'm ready for all eventualities in my head. Perhaps, this is his way of blowing me off......... and if it is I'm sooooo much better without him. Also, if it is, he needs to go and grow some balls!!!

I will let you all know how it goes. I was mad about this man and I will be deeply saddened if this is it. Time will tell........ wish me luck

best of luck

Abi

Clare Bear wrote: »

He'd want to have a very good excuse when you do eventually track him down. If not good riddance.

Maybe I have a shorter fuse but I think no excuse would be fitting here other than; "I've been in hospital bandaged head-to-toe and couldn't get to the pay-phone" or "I've been held hostage" would do.

Put the shoe on the other foot folks. How does he know nothing has happened to the OP? If his mobile was broken how about a pay phone / email / post / pidgeon...

This stinks tbh, and I'd love to humour the OP and tell her hes just been to the toilet for the last 10 days.. but I think going over to his is not going to make her look good at this point.

He has had the indecancy to blank the girl. Cue the "oh hiya, no hes not in at the moment" excuses at the door. Hes obviously to cowardly to face her.

Sorry OP, but if it were me? I'd keep whatever dignity I had left, and wouldn't bother

Oryx

Abigayle wrote: »

Maybe I have a shorter fuse but I think no excuse would be fitting here other than; "I've been in hospital bandaged head-to-toe and couldn't get to the pay-phone" or "I've been held hostage" would do.

Put the shoe on the other foot folks. How does he know nothing has happened to the OP? If his mobile was broken how about a pay phone / email / post / pidgeon...

This stinks tbh, and I'd love to humour the OP and tell her hes just been to the toilet for the last 10 days.. but I think going over to his is not going to make her look good at this point.

He has had the indecancy to blank the girl. Cue the "oh hiya, no hes not in at the moment" excuses at the door. Hes obviously to cowardly to face her.

Sorry OP, but if it were me? I'd keep whatever dignity I had left, and wouldn't bother

Why? There could be all manner of reasons, and the OP needs to know whats up. If its over and hes been hiding she cant look any more of a sap than he will. Calling to see him and sorting it out is the more mature option imho.

Wibbs

I agree with Abigayle 10 days has no real excuse beyond death and injury. In the 1700's you could get a message to someone in 10 days. Hell in the days of rome a letter could get most way across the empire in that time. Nowadays? With mobys, landlines, emails etc? Eh no. There is always a way and time set aside if you need to contact someone. Put it this way, I'm sure his family and his job have heard from him in the last 10 days. Put it another way a mate of mine was deep(literally) in the jungles of Cambodia and got to a satellite phone to wish me a happy birthday.

Clare Bear

Abigayle wrote: »

Maybe I have a shorter fuse but I think no excuse would be fitting here other than; "I've been in hospital bandaged head-to-toe and couldn't get to the pay-phone" or "I've been held hostage" would do.

Yeah when I said he better have a good excuse I meant along those lines....it's bad enough form if ye'd only be going out a few weeks but 6 months? Strange that just before that ye were talking about the future and making plans....maybe he met someone else? Maybe an ex came back on the scene? I'm sure all sorts of things have gone through your head, I can't believe you've let it go 10 days without tracking him down, I'd be gone ballistic. Either way I hope you find out and can put it to rest. And just say thankyou and goodnight to the coward if there's nothing wrong with him.

Abi

KtK wrote: »

Why? There could be all manner of reasons, and the OP needs to know whats up. If its over and hes been hiding she cant look any more of a sap than he will. Calling to see him and sorting it out is the more mature option imho.

wrote:

How does he know nothing has happened to the OP?

Tbh.

But as I mentioned, it is how I would deal with it.
Don't need to be told a spade is a spade and all that..


If she feels the need to go there for some 'closure', and she thinks that she will be ok even if she gets a bad result then fine. But I wouldn't give him the steam off my..

takola

Abigayle wrote: »

Maybe I have a shorter fuse but I think no excuse would be fitting here other than; "I've been in hospital bandaged head-to-toe and couldn't get to the pay-phone" or "I've been held hostage" would do.

Put the shoe on the other foot folks. How does he know nothing has happened to the OP? If his mobile was broken how about a pay phone / email / post / pidgeon...

This stinks tbh, and I'd love to humour the OP and tell her hes just been to the toilet for the last 10 days.. but I think going over to his is not going to make her look good at this point.

He has had the indecancy to blank the girl. Cue the "oh hiya, no hes not in at the moment" excuses at the door. Hes obviously to cowardly to face her.

Sorry OP, but if it were me? I'd keep whatever dignity I had left, and wouldn't bother

I agree with your post (Well most of it!), I was thinking myself, after 10 days the only excuse I would take is injury. And to be honest, after 6 months I'd expect some kind of communication! Even a friend/family member to give me a shout and let me know what's happened. But then I wouldn't let it get to 10 days. After 3 or 4 I'd have gone over to the house to find out what the story was. I have no patience!

I think the OP would be better off going over and seeing him though. At least when she sees him she'll have closure. I know I would need the closure if it were me.

Abi

takola wrote: »

I know I would need the closure if it were me.

For me..

6mths = Fuggum hes not worth it *shrug*

1-2yrs = A colourful voicemail, followed by night out and a laugh with friends.

Over 2yrs = This is tricky one.. It depends on whether he has a car / pet / new woman, and whether I can get an albi

SarahSassy

OP, its most likely that he wants to finish with you (Sorry ) but doesnt have the balls to tell you.....

I would face him and ask him what happened... Good luck

K-9

Was thinking that facing him was the answer, thinking now why bother?

10 days without a call or a text says a lot. More about the bf rather than the OP!

SarahSassy

Seanies32 wrote: »

why bother?!

To see him squirm like the worm (Im a poet ) he is...

SW81

Would actually be more of a revenge if you didn't get in touch with him.

Grawns

Asked my husband and he said it was a dumping. I was all for imagining an excuse. Guys are often cowards about stuff like this.

Wibbs

I agree with Grawns my gender can be complete spineless wusses in these cases.

Nevyn

Even if his phone went awol in this day and age there is email or a letter or he could come to your house, if he wanted to.

Time for an ex bf bonefire, on his doorstep ?

SW81

Dying to hear how this worked out lastnight. Hope you're okay OP x

Oryx

Why are people wusses like this? If of course the guy hasnt been run over or something....

davyjose

SW81 wrote: »

Dying to hear how this worked out lastnight. Hope you're okay OP x

I think the silence says a lot. Poor girl.

But OP, this guy is an absolute loser. You, it would seem, are not. Give your love to someone who wants and deserves it.

SW81

Yes, OP I know after 6 months you had a lot of effort put in to this relationship but you obviously didn't know him at all You deserve better and will get better. His loss.

Grawns

Am gutted for you. This happened to a friend of mine just a few weeks ago. Not the never heard from him in 10 days bit, but still a surprise dumping from a height after 6 months.

At least he had the decency to tell her though. This guy is toxic.

St Bill

Thaedydal wrote: »

Time for an ex bf bonefire, on his doorstep ?

I really hope you meant 'bonfire', otherwise this guy is in a LOT of trouble

SarahSassy

Wibbs wrote: »

I agree with Grawns my gender can be complete spineless wusses in these cases.

Its so common!!!! I just think the girl has a lucky escape when this happens.... The sooner 'spine transplants' are available to SOME men the better

JackieO

Pants - please come back and tell us what happened. I am intrigued.

Oryx

JackieO wrote: »

Pants - please come back and tell us what happened. I am intrigued.

This is not a soap opera, and the op doesnt have to come back and finish the story. If you felt awful, would you?

Mazeire

KtK wrote: »

This is not a soap opera, and the op doesnt have to come back and finish the story. If you felt awful, would you?

Besides, the OP is far too busy enjoying all the fabulous make up sex and melting the black american express credit card he gave her (as an expression of his sorrow) in to a pudde in Brown Thomas to reply to us!

*Trying to stay positive. It Hurts.:)*

pants20

Well I before I had a chance to go round to his house and confront him I got a call from his friend to saying that he was in a car accident and has been in hospital since.... I now feel so bad that I didn't know.

I don't know his family, I've only met them once.

Not the outcome I expected and I'm sure most of ye feel the same. Thanks for all for your comments. I suppose it shows that One never knows.

heavyheart

pants20 wrote: »

Well I before I had a chance to go round to his house and confront him I got a call from his friend to saying that he was in a car accident and has been in hospital since.... I now feel so bad that I didn't know.

I don't know his family, I've only met them once.

Not the outcome I expected and I'm sure most of ye feel the same. Thanks for all for your comments. I suppose it shows that One never knows.

You got a call NOW from HIS friend to say that he was in a car accident ?? Why did you not get a call before now ? Apologies in advance for being skeptical .

Papillon87

Oh my God....kind of completely changes everything. :eek: Is he alright?

pants20

Well he is still in hospital. His phone was destroyed in the accident so he didn't have it. I was angry with his friends for not letting me know....

He will be in hospital for approx another two weeks.

Femelade

i still think its wierd that nobody contacted you in 10 days to let you know about this, i mean if ye were going out for 6 weeks i'd understand, but 6 months is a long enough time for 10 days without contact to be a bit much...i'm surprised you even let it go that far without calling to his house or something..

Stench Blossoms

Have you gone to visit him in hospital yet?

Papillon87

Femmy wrote: »

i still think its wierd that nobody contacted you in 10 days to let you know about this, i mean if ye were going out for 6 weeks i'd understand, but 6 months is a long enough time for 10 days without contact to be a bit much...i'm surprised you even let it go that far without calling to his house or something..

Yes very odd that no one contacted you. I'd be very annoyed. Not on to be honest.

SW81

orla wrote: »

Have you gone to visit him in hospital yet?

+1

Let me guess, he doesn't want any visitors??

Sorry if it sounds like we're being skeptical but if I was you I wouldn't believe it until I went to the hospital and saw it for myself.

Mr. Incognito

Sorry if it sounds like we're being skeptical but if I was you I wouldn't believe it until I went to the hospital and saw it for myself.

I have just lost a little faith in humanity. Are you serious?!

OP I'm really sorry for your boyfriend. That's the problem with girlfriends that haven't met families and that, I'm sure he'd love you there, go, go NOW!

SW81

Sorry if I'm harsh but it's the way I see it. Sad but true.

the GALL

pants20 wrote: »

Well he is still in hospital. His phone was destroyed in the accident so he didn't have it. I was angry with his friends for not letting me know....

He will be in hospital for approx another two weeks.

He seemed like a lovely fella.
It's a shame the way some people had him burned at the stake.

Mr. Incognito

I'm sure if someone wanted to dump his girlfriend he'd come up with something less elaborate ffs.

pants20

SW81 wrote: »

+1

Let me guess, he doesn't want any visitors??

Sorry if it sounds like we're being skeptical but if I was you I wouldn't believe it until I went to the hospital and saw it for myself.

My god, I went to visit him straight away. I was so upset when I saw him and he too......

I'm always one to keep myself to myself and I've that's why I've been slow to meet his family. I' just feel completely out of the loop the last week