Do you spy on your other half?

funk-you

Inspired by a personal issues thread, do you think it is okay to look through their text messages, check their emails, internet history etc...

Reading that thread the words bunny boiler just leapt from the screen.

What do you think?

-Funk

leninbenjamin

is this a rhetorical question or summat?

qz

Yeah no sorry that's not on. However tempting it may be, you wouldn't really want it done back to you.

Ruu_Old

My hand is my partner

Snooping in emails, txt messages, etc=lack of trust and little hope of a continued relationship. What do you think OP?

Wurly

All revved up from the PI thread, eh?

Interested to see the results on this one though.

Methinks its somewhat addictive. If you start doing it, its very hard to stop.

If ya dont trust in the first place, address your insecurities and or get the f*ck out of the relationship.

Slippery slope indeed.

Creamy Goodness

no i think it's totally unacceptable tbh.

what's worse is when someone says "i just stumpled upon X" what i'd like to know how the hell do you stumble upon a text message? "ohh i suddenly tripped and my fingers pressed menu-messages-ok-inbox-ok-read message :rolleyes:

gcgirl

No

Have done but thats because he was a lying cheating b*stard!! he tripped up quite a few times!Basically he was not a nice person he even asked if our 2nd child was his(i never looked at another guy when in relationship with the sperm donor as i now call him), and he slept with a so called friend!

and this is my 500 post

Rb

My girlfriend doesn't leave the house without her GPS tag tbh.

funk-you

My hand is my partner

Ruu wrote: »

Snooping in emails, txt messages, etc=lack of trust and little hope of a continued relationship. What do you think OP?

Definite bunny boiler of a girl who'd do this. it screams of insecurity. I'd be ridiculously offended if i found anyone let alone my GF had done this to me. One way ticket to dumpsville with a stop of at lonely wanktown.

-Funk

Wurly

Luckily me and my hand have a committed and loving relationship. We trust each other implicitly and so snooping is never an issue between us.:D

funk-you

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

Have done but thats because he was a lying cheating b*stard!! he tripped up quite a few times!Basically he was not a nice person he even asked if our 2nd child was his(i never looked at another guy when in relationship with the sperm donor as i now call him), and he slept with a so called friend!

and this is my 500 post

Did you find this out through spying or did you have a reason beforehand?

-Funk

Pj!

Yeah id have to keep an eye on proceedings

gcgirl

No

funk-you wrote: »

Did you find this out through spying or did you have a reason beforehand?

-Funk

we had to change phones cos my battery was dead(was in hospital with eldest girl) and low and behold texts were left on it and that was the start of it!!

funk-you

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

we had to change phones cos my battery was dead(was in hospital with eldest girl) and low and behold texts were left on it and that was the start of it!!

I could see a situation like that being okay and fairly honest but anyone who pro-actively goes through texts and emails as just having major trust issues.

-Funk

gcgirl

No

funk-you wrote: »

I could see a situation like that being okay and fairly honest but annyone who pro-actively goes through texts and emails as just having major trust issues.

-Funk

the funny thing is he went through my phone all the time use to accuse me of doing everything ! but it was him all the time!

ergonomics

My hand is my partner

I have never snooped on my current boyfriend. Have had ample opportunties to read his texts, never done it. Know his email password, never read it. Use his computer regularly and sometimes I go through his history, just because I know he looks at porn and I pretend to get all annoyed over it.

I trust him so I have no need to spy. At the beginning I was tempted but I knew he had nothing to hide and now there's no temptation. I'd say he's the same with me.

Riddle101

No

I wouldn't snoop on someone i was with unless i felt really uncomfortable and she was acting rather supicious. I know she'd be entitled to her priacy and i respect that, especially if she's friends with a guy i don't like(That's going on with a friend of mine right now) But i'd trust her enough not to read her messages.

However if a friend were to i don't know accidentally steal her Mobile phone, and thinking it was his or hers opened the text messages and read them, and then told me about them, then that'd be ok because(Just Kidding) But seriously i would trust her enough.

Ickle Magoo

My hand is my partner

I'd rather ask than snoop - if my partner isn't going to tell me the truth then that would suggest rather more about our relationship than secretly reading his e-mails/texts is ever going to solve.

dr.bollocko

My hand is my partner

It never occurs to me to snoop. I trust my OH completely. If there is something she is keeping from me, its probably for my own good anyway!

funk-you

My hand is my partner

dr.bollocko wrote: »

It never occurs to me to snoop. I trust my OH completely. If there is something she is keeping from me, its probably for my own good anyway!

Ah, mushroom syndrome.

-Funk

AlmightyCushion

My hand is my partner

Ickle Magoo wrote: »

I'd rather ask than snoop - if my partner isn't going to tell me the truth then that would suggest rather more about our relationship than secretly reading his e-mails/texts is ever going to solve.

Ah, but how do you know it's the truth unless you snoop?

dr.bollocko

My hand is my partner

funk-you wrote: »

Ah, mushroom syndrome.

-Funk

How did you find out about that? It was summer 2003 and Pink Floyd was on the radio. I swear I didnt plan to take so many, but then they started asking me to eat them. I still havent found those pants.

Ickle Magoo

My hand is my partner

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Ah, but how do you know it's the truth unless you snoop?

That's what I mean, if I ever get to the stage that I don't believe what my partner tells me is the truth then I don't have to snoop to know our relationship is on the rocks.

randylonghorn

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

the funny thing is he went through my phone all the time use to accuse me of doing everything ! but it was him all the time!

Tbh I think that's very typical. If your partner is very distrustful of you, it's likely to be from one of 2 different causes:
(1) s/he has been burned before, or
(2) s/he is judging by his / her own standards, and expecting you to behave as they are behaving, or as they know they might.

Sangre

Yes I spy.

Although she doesn't know I'm her other half.....yet.

Kernel

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

Have done but thats because he was a lying cheating b*stard!! he tripped up quite a few times!Basically he was not a nice person he even asked if our 2nd child was his(i never looked at another guy when in relationship with the sperm donor as i now call him), and he slept with a so called friend!

and this is my 500 post

Your rabbit stew is ready madame! :pac:

Wook

My hand is my partner

like any investement, it needs constant monitoring.

I'm kidding, just in case my wife reads this...don't hit...meh...

John Mason

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

the funny thing is he went through my phone all the time use to accuse me of doing everything ! but it was him all the time!

OMG, were you going out with my ex??

i found text messages on his phone only because he handed me his phone when he was really really drunk and said "what does that message say, i am too drunk to read it" or other rather slurred words to that effect - the muppet :rolleyes:

Red Hand

I'm spying right now! :pac:

Tar.Aldarion

My hand is my partner

Don't need to, embedded her with an RFID tag. Telemetry is stored on her phone and goes to my computer.

Kur4mA

My hand is my partner

Nope I don't.

RacoonQueen

Just to be nosy I might but not to 'spy' on him. Sure if he's nothing to hide what would it matter. I wouldn't care if he went through my emails/texts/internet history it's all rubbish anyway.

ec18

hell no

Rob_l

Isn't spying just another way of saying I love you?

If you or your other half dont spy on each other get out of the relationship its not going to work.

Also jealousy is a another good thing.

Quality

No

I do the odd time more out of boredom than anything..

She Devil

My hand is my partner

My boyfriend doesnt think i trust him cos im probably always on to him bout girls he works with etc ... lol but i would never ever check his phone for messages, i trust him i know he would never do anything, but in saying that i wouldnt mind if he went through mine!!!!

Sam Vimes

My hand is my partner

gcgirl wrote: »

the funny thing is he went through my phone all the time use to accuse me of doing everything ! but it was him all the time!

i find that myself and not just in relationships. for example, someone i know always thinks people are trying to get one over on him or screw him or generally cheat him out of somethingand as far as i can see, the reason he thinks that is he does it whenever the opportunity presents itself and he assumes everyone is like him

I am very open, I wouldn't think anything of looking through a partners texts or pics. Or vice versa. It would't be behind their back or out of suspicion so I don't think it counts as snooping.

faceman

My hand is my partner

Sangre wrote: »

Yes I spy.

Although she doesn't know I'm her other half.....yet.

Brilliant!

I dont spy but i think im spied upon cos Im such a roide

sharkie2008

My hand is my partner

I don't spy on him but if we were watching tv and bored or something we might look through each others phones but its never behind each others back. I know a lot of my friends do spy on their partners though due to jealousy and lack of trust. one cheated on her boyfriend and always thinks hes gona do the same

She Devil

My hand is my partner

If they have nothing to hide it isnt a problem though is it ....

It only becomes a problem when there is something there that shouldnt be ...

Ricky Roma

checking other halves phones ???? Dear god , sad.... Where is the trust ?:rolleyes:

kev_s88

since my partner is never out of arms reach *wink* i find it hard not to spy

Aurora Borealis

Sadly I've done it but it is not a good sign for a relationship and I'd get out of it now if I felt I couldn't trust the person. I've been in relationships where I never once felt the compulsion and others where I was being told not to trust the person and felt insecure because they were off partying all the time. It's a bad scene to be in.

Loopy

I have mixed views on this. Read that thread in PI with interest and can understand why u started this one.

I have 'stumbled' upon texts whilst 'snooping' through my ex's fone. Never thought I would invade someones privacy like that but I had suspicions so confronted him and he vehemently denied he was seeing someone else. Checked his fone after tearing my hair out thinking I was going mad and low and behold caught him out and dumped his ass.. Found out it had been going on a year.. What I did wasnt right but Im glad I did it..

Clare Bear

My hand is my partner

I never would because a) it's just wrong anyway and why are you with that person if you don't trust them and b) I over analyse things and might come across something completely innocent and turn it in to a big deal in my head so for my own sanity I wouldn't.

Sangre

She Devil wrote: »

If they have nothing to hide it isnt a problem though is it ....

It only becomes a problem when there is something there that shouldnt be ...

Some people keep secrets other than their own.

Rob_l

Clare Bear wrote: »

I never would because a) it's just wrong anyway and why are you with that person if you don't trust them and b) I over analyse things and might come across something completely innocent and turn it in to a big deal in my head so for my own sanity I wouldn't.

Well usually the reason Im with them is not that I trust them but other numerous reasons

azezil

My hand is my partner

I have never and would never go snooping through someones phone or other personal effects, if I didn't trust the person that much, then what's the point in being with them? If I start to feel that way, I end it.
Bit of a nonsensical question IMO :rolleyes:

An ex of mine went through my computer once and read some of my archived msn logs, going back years and long before him, then deleted them all, I said it didn't bother me at the time, but it so did. Needless to say he didn't like my passed history ;P

gcgirl

No

randylonghorn wrote: »

Tbh I think that's very typical. If your partner is very distrustful of you, it's likely to be from one of 2 different causes:
(1) s/he has been burned before, or
(2) s/he is judging by his / her own standards, and expecting you to behave as they are behaving, or as they know they might.

totally the 2nd option and my friend went through the same thing just before xmas and i told her straght out that he is prob cheating and i was right!

Dragan

Going through my stuff equals getting yourself dumped.