Saying I love you

When in your opinion is the right time to actually say it?
Anyone feel like sharing an experience?
IMO its a declaration of a certain commitment to someone its as if you're with that person until the foreseeable future and thats that.
Its the step I see anyway that can make your relationship change.
I would then consider the next step to be engagement however with a gap in between:p


In my experience before its been said to me when drunk and also before /after sex

How rosemantic:rolleyes:

Oryx

When you, yourself are ready. There is no perfect time, the time you choose is simply the right time. But only when it means something.

When drunk is ok, if the same sentiment is there when sober, but shyness prevents it coming out. Before during or after sex is ok, as long as its heartfelt, not a means to an end.

Share an experience? Not on your life.:)

the dee

I don't think it's a declaration of commitment as such, more a declaration of feeling. Like 'I really have very strong feelings for you'. It's usually been said a few months into my relationships and only when it's really clear that we're on to something serious.

I said it to my current boyfriend a month or two before he felt ready to say it back. It was a bit of a knockback but I knew that it was something he took seriously and then when he did say it I knew that he really meant it. What great things are expressed by those three little words

Dragan

I say it when i feel it. It's about that simple.

Hell, i've even said it to someone that i wasn't in a relationship with because it's what i felt.

I don't really worry so much about hiding my feelings and such , i'd rather just tell someone how i feel and know i had the balls to do it.

prendy

i said it to a girl after 4 weeks...maybe a bit premature but im still very much in love with her 1.5 years later.
its whenever you feel it yourself

nice1franko

I say it after whiskey.

either that or "I hate you". sometimes both in the same sentence... anyway, it's all good.

jezza

Haven't said it to boyfriend but we have only been together 3 months.
He told me he loved me though after a lapdance and when I got out of hospital. :D

Latchy

Telling the other person you love them is good but what if they dont feel the sameway ? At least they know you care for them

.How many people are or have being in the situation ?

Oryx

latchyco wrote: »

Telling the other person you love them is good but what if they dont feel the sameway ? At least they know you care for them

.How many people are or have being in the situation ?

Sorry to get all philosophical, but if you truly love someone you tell them without expecting anything in return. If they dont feel the same right then it doesnt change what you feel anyway.

Latchy

KtK wrote: »

Sorry to get all philosophical, but if you truly love someone you tell them without expecting anything in return. If they dont feel the same right then it doesnt change what you feel anyway.

Yeah exactly , that is how you evaluate true love indeed .Somtimes love is blind . To love, and recieve a little love in return, is better than no love at all .

jellie

my bf said it to me after about 2 months. i knew it was coming cause hed been telling me he was "falling in love" with me for awhile, but i wasnt ready to say it back to him. think he kinda knew that anyway. i said it back about a month & a half later, never seen him so happy nice memory

b3t4

My OH said it to me after two weeks. I was a little taken aback but shortly afterwards I followed with the same (I've had similar experiences in the past but I haven't felt the same for the guy but thankfully I did in this instance). After a month due to circumstances we moved in together and lived together for two and half months. We don't do things by halves. haha We're with each other four months now and I can't see myself being with anyone else. He's everything I could of ever asked for in a guy and more.

A

Gillybean72

I think there is no set time, sometimes you just get an overwhelming urge to tell someone you love them. I feel it signals a major change in a relationship and saying it brings you both closer together. I love the feeling you get when you hear those words for the very first time from them...:)

Crumble Froo

ha, me and my b/f were really good mates before we got together, we first started chatting in july 2005, and realised (officially) we had feelings for each other and that we could give this whole e-relationship thing a go in february 2006. so that was that, i don't really remember the first i love you, and it was only when cleaning out my email inbox a year or so ago that i realised why - we'd been saying it even before we were a couple! we used to sign off with the word 'love' quite a lot. funny looking back, we were crazy about each other long before either of us realised, though a few mutual e-friends had kinda copped on. ha, funny times

Crumble Froo

KtK wrote: »

Sorry to get all philosophical, but if you truly love someone you tell them without expecting anything in return. If they dont feel the same right then it doesnt change what you feel anyway.

well, i think you might go from feeling optimistic and cheerful, to somewhat upset/rejected/bitter...

Wibbs

Funny if someone told me they loved me within a couple of months I would be suspicious. It would depend on how much we knew each other hung out etc, but I have found people who say it very quickly tend to fall out of love just as quickly. They're flying high on the infatuation not the reality. Now that part's fun but I prefer contented reality. I've seen too many say it early and then spend the rest of the relationship trying to jam a square peg in a round hole. The first real test and they're off, claiming they fell "out of love".

You can certainly feel something early on, but it's a collection of hormones, horniness and infatuation. I think to truly love someone takes longer. When the first cracks in their personality show up and you still want to be with them, then it's love. When they really irritate you and you're not that pushed on shagging them at that moment, but still want them around, then it's love. When it's not all roses and pink fluffy clouds and you still want them in your life, then it's love.

Basically when it becomes a decision, not an impulse, then it's love.

monkeyfudge

Crumble Froo wrote: »

well, i think you might go from feeling optimistic and cheerful, to somewhat upset/rejected/bitter...

Oh yes... I've never had the heart to just say "eh.. yeah thanks" In the past I've just responded in kind without actually meaning it. Probably not the right move though.. ha... but it gave me a temporary reprieve.

And Wibbs, your post could probably be better illustrated with some pictures of 2 naked toddlers.

jellie

Crumble Froo wrote: »

well, i think you might go from feeling optimistic and cheerful, to somewhat upset/rejected/bitter...

it depends on the person and the situation. when my bf said it to me i think he knew i wasnt there yet but he felt it & wanted to say it. i suppose he would have been hoping to hear it back. but i told him that i didnt want to say it when i didnt mean it, but that i was definitely falling for him. it wasnt a rejection, just a "give me a little more time".

in most of my friends relationships its been the man whos said it first. the responses have ranged from saying i love you when they didnt mean it to "thanks". i think i actually handled it pretty well

MattKid

I found shouting ' Because I Fcking love you' during a rather heated public arguement worked well on one occasion

rohe

i told my partner i lurrrrrrrved him after we had been together about 4 months, he didn't take it too well, barely another word was spoken for that night and he became real cool afterwards and threw into conversations that he didn't think he could love anyone...............but in saying that were together now nearly three years and he says he loves me now more times than i say to him.

Latchy

Crumble Froo wrote: »

well, i think you might go from feeling optimistic and cheerful, to somewhat upset/rejected/bitter...

Thats a better way of putting it .Some people, even if they do love sombody will not say those words for that very reason . Even if you do love the person Nobody wants to feel rejected by them and maybe bitter .

AckwelFoley

There are so many degrees of love that saying "i love you" can somtines mean less than you may want it to mean.

If i fall in love, which to be honest ive only ever loved one girl in my life, i dont fall out of love easily, infact, i dont think i ever will.

When i love someone, i will always love them, even if we are not together.

TequilaMockingBird

snyper wrote: »

When i love someone, i will always love them, even if we are not together.

Stalker.

Leave me alone okay?? Its over!!

Latchy

sueme wrote: »

Stalker.

Leave me alone okay?? Its over!!

He He

AckwelFoley

sueme wrote: »

Stalker.

Leave me alone okay?? Its over!!

Its not over until i say it is !!

scoot on

Crumble Froo wrote: »

ha, me and my b/f were really good mates before we got together, we first started chatting in july 2005, and realised (officially) we had feelings for each other and that we could give this whole e-relationship thing a go in february 2006. so that was that, i don't really remember the first i love you, and it was only when cleaning out my email inbox a year or so ago that i realised why - we'd been saying it even before we were a couple! we used to sign off with the word 'love' quite a lot. funny looking back, we were crazy about each other long before either of us realised, though a few mutual e-friends had kinda copped on. ha, funny times

Mine's a very similar story, although I do remember the first time he told me he loved me when we'd gotten together properly. We were only "seeing" each other a few weeks and he was drunk... I wouldn't really have taken any notice only that we'd had a fantastic day together just the two of us. We went out to watch the fa cup final (the one where lpool scored twice in the last ten minutes to beat arsenal). Both of us being liverpool fans we were delighted. I'd just started to drive and had a driving lesson afterwards so I wasn't drinking. The weather was fab and after the match we went across the road to a lovely park, went for a walk and did the usual newly love stuff. My dad was picking me up and just before he arrived my bf told me he loved me. I was completely smitten.

Black Swan

Coolsmileygirl wrote: »

When in your opinion is the right time to actually say it?

When you feel the relationship exceeds friendship (and lust).

Crumble Froo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO_KILnJdHw

madbev90210

I think I said it after we first made love, (i was a virgin until then) and I really meant it. I loved him but am also in love with him. I think theres a difference too though. I will always love him for the times we've shared etc, but will i always be IN love with him?? Only time will tell! And how will you know if your not in love anymore? Loves confusing!!!

Maple

I told my ex boyfriend I loved him when I was drunk as a skunk one night. I did love him but didn't want the first time I told him to be when I was dribbling drunk. I wore the coat of shame for about a week even thinking about it.

The L word wasn't mentioned again until a few months later on his birthday when I gave him a big hug and told him that I loved him, properly without any drink taken. He gave me a big hug back and told me the same, said he'd been feeling that way for about 4 months but he'd said it before in the past when he didn't mean it so he wanted to be 100% sure this time around, didn't want to cheapen the words. Said the moment he knew was when I had said something SO dim that all he could do was laugh.

Bottom line its scary telling someone that you love them but if you feel it then you should say it.

Quality

My Oh told me he loved me after 3 weeks... He was 19 and I was 16.... I pretended I didnt hear him.

I told him I loved him after about 3 months...And still do 12 years later..

Pat McGhee

I said it to my bf after 3 months. I had been wanting to say it for a while but the timing never felt quite right. Then we went to a wedding, got talking about our future & the moment felt perfect. I said it, then he did & now neither of us can shut up saying it!

mollybird

well it took me an awful long time to say it to my current beau as got badly hurt the last time. now he didn't say it for a few months after. at one point i cornered him into it. and i felt awful about it. but next time he said it i knew he meant it. so it was well worth the wait in the end.