Those crazy foreigners (no racism/xenophobia)

Lockstep

I always find it amusing when people mispronounce things in foreign languages. I have the odd couple of examples.


Was asked by my french teacher my hobbies and I told her I liked "le guitar baise". Doh. Meant bass.
Baise means f*ck in french,


was around six and had a danish friend who was still learning english. Teacher asked him what his religion was.
"I am a prostitute"


Cousin went to France, big aul farm boy and thanked a shopkeeper with "Mercy Buckets"

Doctor DooM

My dad is repairing a cheap house he bought in france. He got in a work man to repair the fireplace. When asked if he was happy with the job, my dad replied in broken french:

"Yes, I am very pretty."

Black Swan

When in Chicago last was driving down a street and there was a sign over a cafe that said "Biscuits and Gravy."

Was out to dinner with a lad last year to one of those all-you-can-eat restaurants in the States. My date ate too much, and at the end of his meal he leaned back in his chair grabbing his belly and proclaimed, "Gee I am stuffed!"

Radharc na Sleibhte

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

When in Chicago last was driving down a street and there was a sign over a cafe that said "Biscuits and Gravy."

and............????
Thats what they eat!!!!

I once said Dave Fanny instead of Dave Fannning to my dad.
I was about 12 at the time, so it was quite mortifying.

Tha Gopher

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

. My date ate too much, and at the end of his meal he leaned back in his chair grabbing his belly and proclaimed, "Gee I am stuffed!"

.........I dont get it

Unless he pronounced gee as gey (sounds like key)

Ya know.....

is_that_so

A woman I knew was discussing, in Spanish, the merits of jam making with her prospective elderly in-laws. She was talking about the problem of "preservatives" and wrongly assumed that in Spanish it was "preservativos". Needless to say the old pair were much put out by the idea of condoms in the jam. "Preservatives" in Spanish is "conservantes".

Once when I was a teenager, I claimed to be able speak French with some exchange students. What i could say , sounded good, and could understand a reasonable amount. However when one of them, a very pretty one, was going home, we had the usual cheek kissing after which she said sur les lèvres(on the lips). At this point I smiled, nodded and walked off.

shane86

In a mates one night and a cute blondie Israeli bird rings the doorbell to show us some canvas paintings she was selling, large yokes. Was half time in a match and we had a few cans in us, we werent intending to buy but sure why not have a chat with the young one. Shows us one painting

"And this is the Fountain of Piss" (peace, we later found out)

"Eh?"

"The fountain of piss in New York!"

"Sorry, the what?"

"Fountain of Piss!"

We werent actually taking the..eh...piss....we honestly hadnt a clue what she was on about, and when we couldnt stop laughing she makes it worse by asking "are you guys high or something?"



Alot of foreigners cant get my name right on their first attempt. Ive been called everything from Sha to Shay, Shake, Sean and even Shame :rolleyes:

The Shame one was when we were out on the lash one night, mate was getting stuck into some cracking Russian yoke and I was stuck with the drunk mate who barely spoke a lick of English. "Shay?...Shee?...Shame? Ahahah, shame on you! Shame on you!" Starts laughing, roaring this and dancing around.

Then my mate joined in the singing

Fast forward a few months and Im lying in bed with the radio on and some song comes on repeatedtly with the words "shame shame shame on you!" Gave me a laugh anyway (mate told me its by Republic of Loose, which are some mediocre student band who will never play a bigger venue than Crawdaddys so Im told)

Another time in town was talking to some French one who couldnt get my name right

"No, its Shane"

"Ah! Like...eh....Shayne Ward!"

"Yeah, the same"

"Or Shane Horgan"

I rather embarassingly paused, realised I heard the name and then had to ask her to remind me of who Shane Horgan is again. Rugger really is not my game :rolleyes:

Saint_Mel

A girl I know once went to a deli and accidently
asked for a ham and cheese punani instead of panini!

Mortified wasnt the word ... no, actually mortified was the word!
She still hasnt lived it down

Doctor DooM

In bordeaux there is a sports shop called althletes foot... Actually I think thats kinda clever.

Bulgarian people insist on pronouncing my second name Giggley, and English people have no idea how to spell it.

chopperbyrne

English people have a tendency to pronounce Ger with a hard G if they are reading it.

Really annoys me!

Beanstalk

When my German friend came over here during the summer we went to an off-licence to buy booze. He saw a bottle of 'irish mist' whiskey and could'nt stop laughing...('mist' means dung in german)

kickoutthejams

kickoutthejams wrote: »

was around six and had a danish friend who was still learning english. Teacher asked him what his religion was.
"I am a prostitute"


"

Should be happy that teacher wasn't Gary Glitter so :D

lorweld

I know its a bit off topic but i find it very amusing. A few years ago i was on the galway-dublin train coming home from college. Across from me sat really loud annoying americans, ye know the type. For those of ye that aren't familiar with coming into tullamore on the train theres a large halting site and a bridge beside it covered in grafitti. Anyhow on this bridge in large spraypainted letters was up the ira, one of the americans saw this and all the caravans and shouted 'oh my gawd look thats where the ira live' i couldn't stop laughing.

5starpool

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

When in Chicago last was driving down a street and there was a sign over a cafe that said "Biscuits and Gravy."

Was out to dinner with a lad last year to one of those all-you-can-eat restaurants in the States. My date ate too much, and at the end of his meal he leaned back in his chair grabbing his belly and proclaimed, "Gee I am stuffed!"

I fail to see the guffaws contained therein...........

jester77

Schwul and Schwül in German, can be a bit embarrassing when you get those 2 mixed up!

Adam

Saint_Mel wrote: »

A girl I know once went to a deli and accidently
asked for a ham and cheese punani instead of panini!

Mortified wasnt the word ... no, actually mortified was the word!
She still hasnt lived it down

You made me lol. That is epic.

balon

Saint_Mel wrote: »

A girl I know once went to a deli and accidently
asked for a ham and cheese punani instead of panini!

Mortified wasnt the word ... no, actually mortified was the word!
She still hasnt lived it down

Brilliant!

Was in 1st year maths class doing all those subsets A union B intersection C etc... When I was asked to identify a relationship on the board, I said A intercourse B. The class had to be contained!!

Sangre

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

When in Chicago last was driving down a street and there was a sign over a cafe that said "Biscuits and Gravy."

Was out to dinner with a lad last year to one of those all-you-can-eat restaurants in the States. My date ate too much, and at the end of his meal he leaned back in his chair grabbing his belly and proclaimed, "Gee I am stuffed!"

Ehh...those are both perfectly correct.

Latchy

Anybody remember the girl on countdown who got her answer to question wrong and answered (much to her emmbarresment and everybodys amusement ) ' The Kama sutra ' ?

They still show it on those tv bloop outakes

the dee

shane86 wrote: »

Alot of foreigners cant get my name right on their first attempt. Ive been called everything from Sha to Shay, Shake, Sean and even Shame :rolleyes:

You wouldn't believe how Deirdre gets mangled by anyone who isn't Irish. Hence I go with Dee most of the time...

Fratton Fred

I nearly punched a guy in a store in the states. My wife was trying on jeans and he told it fitted perfectly around her fanny:eek:

Latchy

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I nearly punched a guy in a store in the states. My wife was trying on jeans and he told it fitted perfectly around her fanny:eek:

As long as the refer to us as european and not youropeeing

Toto Wolfcastle

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

When in Chicago last was driving down a street and there was a sign over a cafe that said "Biscuits and Gravy."

Was out to dinner with a lad last year to one of those all-you-can-eat restaurants in the States. My date ate too much, and at the end of his meal he leaned back in his chair grabbing his belly and proclaimed, "Gee I am stuffed!"

Biscuits in the states are kind of like scones.

The rest of what you wrote, I don't understand.

Latchy

janeybabe wrote: »

Biscuits in the states are kind of like scones.

The rest of what you wrote, I don't understand.

Gee is somtimes refered to in some circles as a methophor for vagina

AckwelFoley

I had a polish guy come into the hardware looking for a "Frozen" yesterday.

Cake for the person that guesses what he wanted.

Text answers to the usual number standard service charges apply.

Il give the answer out at the end of the show.

Dinter

latchyco wrote: »

Gee is somtimes refered to in some circles as a methophor for vagina

Yes but they're both pronounced differently.

I'd understand it being funny if the date wrote it or something.

Gee as in vagina is pronounced to rhyme with pea. Geeeee

Gee as in an exclamation would have a more softer J sound.

Don't get it.

Latchy

Dinter wrote: »

Yes but they're both pronounced differently.

I'd understand it being funny if the date wrote it or something.

Gee as in vagina is pronounced to rhyme with pea. Geeeee

Gee as in an exclamation would have a more softer J sound.

Don't get it.

Yeah , i only got the Gee/pea connection and not the ' joke ' itself

Dinter

Maybe the joke is being "stuffed"?

Latchy

Dinter wrote: »

Maybe the joke is being "stuffed"?

Possible connotations, yes

Dinter

MikeySligo wrote: »

I once said Dave Fanny instead of Dave Fannning to my dad.
I was about 12 at the time, so it was quite mortifying.

Going by the thread title I have to ask is your dad a foreigner or are you the foreigner?

If it's your dad who's foreign you don't need to worry because he probably wouldn't be familiar with Dave Fanning and if it's you who's foreign then it's excusable because you mightn't be too sure of his name either.

roughan

I was working in London and at lucnch i told my Collegue i was so starvin i could murder a Sambo :eek:

He looked horrified later on i found out Sambo was a term for a black man and the correct term was sarnie!:D

Latchy

A well know irish poet while staying in a New York hotel back in the 60s enquired as to were all the grass was ( as in the green stuff cows eat )

The puzzled hotel staff thought he was refering to weed and said he might try down town after dark

jb91

My uncle went into a shop in the middle of nowhere in France to buy stuff for sandwiches.

He asked for buerre, pain et preservatifs (bread, butter and condoms). He meant to ask for jam lol

EDIT: Damn you is_that_so!!!

Overheal

Our Lecturer teaches Software Engineering. He's French. So one day in the slides this word pops up: "Contraindication"

I had to stop the entire class in his mid sentence and ask wtf was that? It looked entirely out of context anyway.

He goes "I donnow... it coold be Franch?"

So he googles the word and wikipedia came up with this.

<_<
>_>

I'm worried.

snyper

snyper wrote: »

I had a polish guy come into the hardware looking for a "Frozen" yesterday.

Cement.

whatsgoinon

In France recently, instead of me saying, "I was so tired, I wanted to sleep on the street", I said:
"I wanted to have sex on the street" stupid reflexive verbs, luckily all the staff understood what i really wanted to say, i was very embarrrassed

TequilaMockingBird

Overheal wrote: »

Our Lecturer teaches Software Engineering. He's French. So one day in the slides this word pops up: "Contraindication"

I had to stop the entire class in his mid sentence and ask wtf was that? It looked entirely out of context anyway.

He goes "I donnow... it coold be Franch?"

So he googles the word and wikipedia came up with this.

<_<
>_>

I'm worried.

So am I.

Overheal

Worried why? I know why IM worried: he probably isnt french at all :eek: !!!

eldeabroad

Was working in a bar, in Ireland, where my (Basque) girlfriend once asked me for a "club orange lemon" to drink..... I was - "which one?" and she just didnt get that they are different ie: club orange or club lemon. Still with her 7 years later!

also

a female friend of hers once told me (when we came to Basque Country on hols) "I am very horny to see you" she meant excited, but as excitado in spanish means horny - she got confused with excited.......I guess:D

Red Hand

eldeabroad wrote: »

Was working in a bar, in Ireland, where my (Basque) girlfriend once asked me for a "club orange lemon" to drink..... I was - "which one?" and she just didnt get that they are different ie: club orange or club lemon. Still with her 7 years later!

also

a female friend of hers once told me (when we came to Basque Country on hols) "I am very horny to see you" she meant excited, but as excitado in spanish means horny - she got confused with excited.......I guess:D

Lol! I bet...confused indeed!:D

tuxy

eldeabroad wrote: »

Was working in a bar, in Ireland, where my (Basque) girlfriend once asked me for a "club orange lemon" to drink..... I was - "which one?" and she just didnt get that they are different ie: club orange or club lemon. Still with her 7 years later!

Sounds like she wanted a rock shandy.

tampopo

yeah,I used to work in a hotel in San Francisco many years ago. I was talking with one of my colleagues about accents, Dublin accents in particular. I was explaining about flat, working class accents and exaggerating some words, especially Peter, which I find hard to pronounce and not sound too effeminate!!! Words like butter, and matter and the like where the tt isn't pronouned correctly, instead a gutteral hmph. Anyway, you get the picture.

1am, I get a call from my colleague. What's up? He was with his gf in one of the Irish bars in the avenues, he started talking to an Irish lad, askin' him what's the ma'er with the bu'er, Pe'er? and got a punch in the face for his troubles!!! He came to work the next day with a black eye!!!!

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I nearly punched a guy in a store in the states. My wife was trying on jeans and he told it fitted perfectly around her fanny:eek:

For a few months I had a gf called Sharon, and she once complained I never called her by her name. I was always afraid of lapsing into 'Sharrin' mode!!!

Abaddon

We have a Tampopo among us!!! Possibly the greatest movie ever made!
I once had a friend over from Nederland, and we were in a cafe in Dublin, when he got mixed up with hotdogs and sausage-rolls, and asked for a sausage-dog!!

rosarosa

English is a third language for me, and in my family, we only learnt it when we began going to school. When my youngest sister was about 8, she was really crazy about Leonardo diCaprio. Titanic was on the TV one night and she was desperate to watch it, but my Dad wanted to watch something else instead. So she started crying and begging my Dad until he finally asked what the big deal was, and she said
'but daddy, it's a film about the unsinkable shi*!'......

Never been able to forget it....:)

AckwelFoley

Moonbaby wrote: »

Cement.

Not even close.


He was lookiing for a chest freezer.

tampopo

oh yeah, I had this foreign gf and we were watching a film. She said is that Pink Flamingos?

I said, no, Three Amigos. (Steve Martin, Chevy Chase etc)

how we laughed

Victor

SDooM wrote: »

Bulgarian people insist on pronouncing my second name Giggley, and English people have no idea how to spell it.

Eh, I don't get that.

A German friend announced to me that she had been 'inspected' that day. No, not by a gynacologist ..... she had her ticket checked on the bus.

Mrs_Doyle

I work in the Airport and was trying to explain to a foreign customer that he wouldn't be able travel with a 125ml product, as the limit on liquids, when taking 2 or more flights, is 100mls per item.

He said "Eh, but I dooo not underztand, what iz de difference between 100mls and 125mls?"

"25mls" was my response. (OK I was being a bit of a smart arse)

He looked at me for about 10 seconds in silence, while he tried to comprehend what I had said, the he let out such a roar of laughter.

"Ha, ha you verrrry funny girl, you are playing with me, yez? 25mls! Ha! 25mls! You have a little fun with me?"

He continued to laugh hysterically for about 5 minutes.

Crazy Foreigner!!!

Victor

Mrs_Doyle, you then need to beckon the large guys with the MP-5s, rubber gloves and lube. They get the idea then.

RonMexico

I had a hot Polish girl ask me "what is scrotum?"

What a dilemma

Neamhshuntasach

I was in Montreal and i decided to do that couchsurf thing where you stay in someone's house for free. So made it up there and went out for a drink with the 2 girls i was staying with. We went back to their place and they were telling me some French phrases. But i was a bit scooped and my eyes were wandering. So one of the girls turns around and says, you seem distracted, maybe you should just fu<k us. I nearly fell out of the chair when i heard it. She repeats again, come on just fu<k us. I was delighted and standing there saying yeah. But it turned out she was trying to say the word focus. still laugh about it with them to this day