Hairy face

LegacyUser

Any other dudes have this problem? I met this girl i liked and we went on a few dates and we were getting on well. I soon noticed something though and it really turned me off. She had hair on her face and when i kissed her i could feel it. It was freaky, felt like kissing a man. She was quiet fashionable and looked after her appearance so i was surprised by this. Once i noticed this there was no going back so i made my excuses and left....

Mr. Incognito

the ladies tend to neglect the upper lip waxing and it's really only visible from side on. Kudos to you for having the balls to say "here love, wax that tasche would you instead of running off into the night......." Oh, whoops other way round.

Whyner

SetantaL wrote: »

Kudos to you for having the balls to say "here love, wax that tasche would you instead of running off into the night......." Oh, whoops other way round.

Yeah cause she doesn't already know she has a tasche!

On a first date and all......that would have taken something else, but yes loads of lads have had to deal with that, not to mention extreme side burns...

johnnysmurfman

I broke up with a girl for this reason. NOTHING in the world is worse than facial hair on a girl.

Saruman

Body hair might be.. i do not mean hairy legs...

Mr. Incognito

On a first date and all......that would have taken something else, but yes loads of lads have had to deal with that, not to mention extreme side burns...

we went on a few dates

Anyway, there are tactful ways to do this- mention it to one of her female friends perhaps?

the dee

Women (and men and all mammals) have hair all over their bodies. All women have hair on their faces - some is thicker than others. You didn't notice it right away so it can't have been that bad. Why would this freak you out so much? Why should she have to change something that isn't very noticable? Your reaction sounds a bit shallow to me.

geminilady

i agree with dee sounds shallow to me too........

chuckles30

Well she's better off without you op if that's your attitude!!! I'm sure you have hair on your face too!! Every woman has hair on her face - it's natural but as dee says, it's just more noticeable on some.

Gyalist

Not only is it natural but some women have a condition which exacerbates it.

briantwin

Here we go with the self righteous twaddle that seems to flood PI lately.
Lets break it down to brass tacks.
1) You liked her, but it was a first date - no commitment necessary

2) She has facial hair

3) You're repulsed by women with facial hair, i know the feeling. It'd be like shagging Joe Duffy.

4) All you nay sayers and people on very high horses. Put yourselves in his position but instead of it being facial hair lets make it something equally as subtle and disturbing but with a man. Excessive sweating or something uncontrollable like that. Would you just grin bear it and buy lots of lynx africa and glade plug ins or would you move on to dryer more pleasant smelling shores.

5) electrolysis.com !!

Kaldorn

briantwin wrote: »

Here we go with the self righteous twaddle that seems to flood PI lately.
Lets break it down to brass tacks.
1) You liked her, but it was a first date - no commitment necessary

2) She has facial hair

3) You're repulsed by women with facial hair, i know the feeling. It'd be like shagging Joe Duffy.

4) All you nay sayers and people on very high horses. Put yourselves in his position but instead of it being facial hair lets make it something equally as subtle and disturbing but with a man. Excessive sweating or something uncontrollable like that. Would you just grin bear it and buy lots of lynx africa and glade plug ins or would you move on to dryer more pleasant smelling shores.

5) electrolysis.com !!

well said,i totally agree..hairy faced girls can get the boat..or a razor

the dee

It seems like a very trivial thing to leave a girl for - first date or not. However, you can't help what you're attracted to.

It's like someone having a mole, or not liking their hair colour. Sure they can change it but why should they?

@Kaldorn - surely a razor would just make it worse? Mmmm... stubble on her face is much better than light soft hair.

You guys must be very desirable if you can afford to be so picky...

nomorebadtown

Just as there are very few women who like a hairy back on a guy...there are NO men who like a woman with a hairy face. both are perfectly natural but that dont mean you cant sort it out.

the dee

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Just as there are very few women who like a hairy back on a guy...there are NO men who like a woman with a hairy face. both are perfectly natural but that dont mean you cant sort it out.

Some women like very hairy men. I think it's very masculine. Anyway, women don't go dumping guys because they're too hairy or not hairy enough - never that I've heard of anyway. For some reason hair on men is ok but women are supposed to be hairless and smooth all the time somehow.

I have no problem with not being attracted to a woman for whatever reason, but the expectation that all women must change their appearances and look perfect all the time or be dumped is something I object to.

Kaldorn

yes i am,i have been told i am lots of times,also my girlfriend is well above par with no facial hair

folan

i went out with a girl, started growing a beard, and was told id be dumped if i didnt shave. i shaved, cause things were going well but we broke up later and now i have a great girlfriend who loves my beard.
it goes both ways, and if its important to the OP i dont think he should be berated, he found something physically unattractive about the girl and he didnt follow it up. so what, happens all the time.

spurious

All women have hair on their faces - and in all sorts of other places too.

If you don't like it, fine, but it is not the girl's problem, it's yours, so don't go blaming her in any way.

If facial hair on a woman freaks you out so much, boy do you have some surprises down the line when you get older.

hanton12

spurious wrote: »

All women have hair on their faces - and in all sorts of other places too.

If you don't like it, fine, but it is not the girl's problem, it's yours, so don't go blaming her in any way.

If facial hair on a woman freaks you out so much, boy do you have some surprises down the line when you get older.

didnt the Op start off by asking 'Any other dudes have this problem?' He knows its his problem, not the girls.

It wouldnt turn me on either, and I dont feel shallow because of it. While people may say girls have hair all over their face, visible darkened hair over the lip to me isnt attractive either. So what? Its like women who dont like mens hairly backs, or men who dont like womens hairy armpits or something, its a personal outlook. just remember one girl I was with before one night, and some of the lads had said she had a bit of a tache, but I didnt notice it. We kissed then at the end of the night, and I realised why I didnt notice it, she had shaved, could feel the stubble. Now, I know, men have stubble too, but thats normal, its not normal for a guy to kiss a girl and feel stubble!

Riesen_Meal

nomorebadtown wrote: »

Just as there are very few women who like a hairy back on a guy...there are NO men who like a woman with a hairy face. both are perfectly natural but that dont mean you cant sort it out.

+1!!!!

briantwin

the dee wrote: »

Some women like very hairy men. I think it's very masculine. Anyway, women don't go dumping guys because they're too hairy or not hairy enough - never that I've heard of anyway. For some reason hair on men is ok but women are supposed to be hairless and smooth all the time somehow.

I have no problem with not being attracted to a woman for whatever reason, but the expectation that all women must change their appearances and look perfect all the time or be dumped is something I object to.

Women certainly aren't meant to have moustaches or beards, i know because i have seen pretty basic biology videos in school and it clearly states that men grow beards etc due to testosterone in their bodies. Women on the other hand are not MEANT to! However that does not mean they cannot, so what is the solution? Get rid of the face muff by whatever means is suitable to yourself!

No one said you were meant to be hairless and perfect all the time, but i dont hear you giving out because you have to shave your legs. Most women do that without too much moaning or bra burning.

Its like if you were goin out with a guy who was packin a set of 36c breasts and you were a 32b cup. Would you not think it a tad odd, to the point that it may subconciously ring some bells that maybe there is a sexuality issue there!

Would you maybe not just forget about that relationship and move on depending on how committed you were?

the dee

briantwin wrote: »

Women certainly aren't meant to have moustaches or beards, i know because i have seen pretty basic biology videos in school and it clearly states that men grow beards etc due to testosterone in their bodies.

We are not talking about a full beard or moustache here. The OP said he'd been out with this a girl a few times and liked her. It can't have been that obvious that she had some hair on her face. He must not have liked her that much if that put him off.

I'm not saying the OP is a shallow person, nor am I saying that appearance and physical attraction mean nothing. The actions and attitude of the OP struck me as shallow, that is all.

briantwin

the dee wrote: »

We are not talking about a full beard or moustache here. The OP said he'd been out with this a girl a few times and liked her. It can't have been that obvious that she had some hair on her face. He must not have liked her that much if that put him off.

I'm not saying the OP is a shallow person, nor am I saying that appearance and physical attraction mean nothing. The actions and attitude of the OP struck me as shallow, that is all.

You cannot however disregard what i meant in the previous post when i said would you be comfortable going out with a guy who had a rack that was equal or bigger than your own? This is the same premise how ever the extent of the issue may be different.

Hairy face = Man
Good rack = Woman

Gods rules, not mine!!!

lorweld

some women can't help but have facial hair. it's a symptom of some health issues eg pcos

funloving

the dee wrote: »

but the expectation that all women must change their appearances and look perfect all the time or be dumped is something I object to.

+1

Beerlao

the dee, what is your definition of shallow?

surely there's no point in going out with someone you find unattractive, otherwise you're wasting your time and their time. that's not shallow, it's human nature. deal with it.

the dee

Beerlao wrote: »

the dee, what is your definition of shallow?

surely there's no point in going out with someone you find unattractive, otherwise you're wasting your time and their time. that's not shallow, it's human nature. deal with it.

I have said I have no problem with not being with someone you're not attracted to. That's only fair. If I'd been talking to someone on the internet and liked them, but then met them and wasn't attracted, I wouldn't think that was shallow.

What strikes me as shallow is the fact that he saw this girl a few times and liked her, until he noticed this small imperfection. If I started seeing someone and liked them, then discovered they had a very hairy back (to use a similar example) I wouldn't suddenly be unable to stand them, nor would I think that he should get waxed or change it. I think that attitude is very immature.

If you like someone you can see past their moles, or their crooked teeth or their body hair. If you can't see past these things then you're with them for the wrong reasons. If you're looking for a bit of fun fair enough, but you will never be able to find someone who's 100% perfect and if that's your expectation then you will be sorely disappointed.

LegacyUser

So as a guy seeing a girl with a fine facial hair problem - Any suggestions as to how to bring it up? Don't know ANY of her mates!

Like the OP it's something i find unattractive and it would be a deal breaker long term.

RuailleBuaille

briantwin wrote: »

Women certainly aren't meant to have moustaches or beards, i know because i have seen pretty basic biology videos in school and it clearly states that men grow beards etc due to testosterone in their bodies. Women on the other hand are not MEANT to! However that does not mean they cannot, so what is the solution? Get rid of the face muff by whatever means is suitable to yourself!

Horse****e. ALL women produce small amounts of testosterone. Why do you think we have pubic hair, armit hair, leg hair? There's no 'meant to have' with biology, (apart from sex organs obviously) we are all built from the same template. Nipples for example, women are 'MEANT' to have them but guess what, men have them too. All humans are covered in hair, it's 'pretty basic biology'.

Fair enough you don't find it attractive but it's not a very realistic way of looking at things IMO, there will always be flaws to turn you off if you're that conscious of them and it's gonna be tough to continue a relationship with someone if you're expecting an idealised version of a woman. Especially as the years go by and it becomes things like grey pubes or saggy boobs!

Gyalist

SameProblem wrote: »

So as a guy seeing a girl with a fine facial hair problem - Any suggestions as to how to bring it up? Don't know ANY of her mates!

Like the OP it's something i find unattractive and it would be a deal breaker long term.

I wish you guys good luck with finding the airbrushed, Photoshopped Barbie dolls that you are looking for.

LegacyUser

Gyalist wrote: »

I wish you guys good luck with finding the airbrushed, Photoshopped Barbie dolls that you are looking for.

Get off your high horse. Facial hair is not a problem for the majority of women, because the majority use simple hair removal products whenever needed.

NortSoide

Well ... before running off ... maybe all you spineless guys could at least have had 'a word' with the girl.

There has to be a way to get rid of that unwanted hair.
For Gods sakes.

Remember - girls are just guys with tits !

,mnb

Wax your upper lips girls! This is a warning. And spread the word.

LegacyUser

This is the OP. I am in the twilight of my youth and still single so perhaps i am a little fussy. Better with nobody than with the wrong one, me thinks. I was surprised that this girl could not see the problem and do something about it. I have a bit of a hairy chest and have asked ladies if they thought i should get it waxed or shaved and they said no.
I was a bit sad by the whole debacle as we got on well but it got to the stage it was all i could think about when i met her

JuliusCaesar

ItchyInside wrote: »

Horse****e. ALL women produce small amounts of testosterone. Why do you think we have pubic hair, armit hair, leg hair? There's no 'meant to have' with biology, (apart from sex organs obviously) we are all built from the same template. Nipples for example, women are 'MEANT' to have them but guess what, men have them too. All humans are covered in hair, it's 'pretty basic biology'.

Gyalist wrote: »

I wish you guys good luck with finding the airbrushed, Photoshopped Barbie dolls that you are looking for.

+2!

jezza

It does seem a little shallow BUT, if a guy is geniunelly repulsed by this he shouldn't be made feel bad about it.
Sure, in a perfect world all women would have (smooth??) faces but some guys don't seem too bothered??
each to their own. If a girl feels comfortable with her apperance, fair fu.cks I say.
If she was bothered by it, shed have it waxed.

Each to their own

JuliusCaesar

sir! wrote: »

This is the OP..... but it got to the stage it was all i could think about when i met her

if the OP is using a phrase like 'met' to mean kiss, I guess he is still very young.

muckwarrior

JuliusCaesar wrote: »

if the OP is using a phrase like 'met' to mean kiss, I guess he is still very young.

Eh, or maybe he just actually meant met! Anyway, he's hardly a teenageer if he's in the "twilight of his youth".

On topic though, I've kissed a girl that had a hairy lip. You could never see it, but you could definitely feel it! If it means that you don't particularly like kissing the person well then I think the OP probably made the right choice.

davyjose

the dee wrote: »

I If you like someone you can see past their moles, or their crooked teeth or their body hair. If you can't see past these things then you're with them for the wrong reasons.

Exactly, and the OP did the honourable thing and left her.

RuailleBuaille

Same Problem wrote: »

Get off your high horse. Facial hair is not a problem for the majority of women, because the majority use simple hair removal products whenever needed.

If the 'majority' are using hair removal products then it clearly is a problem. Duh :rolleyes:

tippguy2

more than likely she suffers from pcos, its more common than one thinks, does she have a bloated tummy ? (polycystic ovarian syndrome), se may need to get checked for it, sometimes no periods are a symptom as well

Xiney

SameProblem wrote: »

So as a guy seeing a girl with a fine facial hair problem - Any suggestions as to how to bring it up? Don't know ANY of her mates!

Like the OP it's something i find unattractive and it would be a deal breaker long term.

I'm not sure if this is something you would consider, as it might still hurt her feelings, but at least it wouldn't be you dealing the bad news:

Perhaps at the next "gift giving" occaision, or maybe she's having a stressful time at work so you decided to do something nice (winkwink), get her a voucher for a facial.

Before you buy the voucher, call into the place, ask to speak with a manager/someone in charge at the facials bit of the spa. Ask them if what you are about to say can be kept in the strictest confidence. Explain the situation. Say you really care about your girlfriend and love her and while you are generally in favour of discussing issues directly, you are at a loss of how to handle this sensitive issue diplomatically, and you would hate to lose her over it, or cause tension in the relationship.

So you say, I plan to buy a voucher for a facial. Is there some way to make sure that someone suggests nicely and compassionately, that she recieve a lip waxing? You say that you will pay for it upfront, but that it not be added to the total of the voucher lest she suspect. A lip wax won't be much money so it's not like if this all doesn't go as planned that you'll be out a clump of cash.

In terms of them recognizing her for who she is, give them her name. The best thing would be to book the appointment for her, right then and there. If that's not possible, I would encourage her to call as soon as she gets the voucher, make a note of when she's made the appt. for, and call them later to tell them who it is.

Hopefully it would work.


It's a little convoluted, but as a woman I can honestly say that if my husband told me something like this, my feelings would be hurt, no matter how true it was. It's so much easier to accept a spa technician saying something like that, as they are a stranger and their job is to make someone beautiful.

LegacyUser

XINEY -

Really fantastic suggestion! Absolutely the kind of suggestion i was after, gonna give this a try!

I can understand her being offended, but this should avoid the more blunt route i was thanking about!

Thanks again.

Xiney

Same Problem wrote: »

XINEY -

Really fantastic suggestion! Absolutely the kind of suggestion i was after, gonna give this a try!

I can understand her being offended, but this should avoid the more blunt route i was thanking about!

Thanks again.

Happy you've found it useful. I hope it works!!

EamonnKeane

tippguy2 wrote: »

more than likely she suffers from pcos, its more common than one thinks, does she have a bloated tummy ? (polycystic ovarian syndrome), se may need to get checked for it, sometimes no periods are a symptom as well

Yes, and if her stomach hurts she probably has lymphoma. Thanks, Dr Internet!

NortSoide wrote: »

Well ... before running off ... maybe all you spineless guys could at least have had 'a word' with the girl.

There has to be a way to get rid of that unwanted hair.
For Gods sakes.

Remember - girls are just guys with tits !

It's "spineless" not to want to insult someone?

Gyalist wrote: »

I wish you guys good luck with finding the airbrushed, Photoshopped Barbie dolls that you are looking for.

OTT crap. Surely being not hairy is a minimum standard?

LegacyUser

The poor girl, I know the embarrassment of excess facial hair as I suffer from PCOS. I do keep it WELL under control though with regular epilation and waxing and would be mortified if I thought anybody noticed. It's not a beard by any means but an unslightly and embarrassing problem to tackle for a girl.

Some of the comments on here are very cruel, God help us if some of us were born afflicted with a hormonal disorder. It's hard enough to cope with without nasty comments from people who don't understand the humiliation and discomfort of a problem like this.

All I can to the OP is in fairness to you, if it put you off it put you off. Don't tell her that's the reason, she'll be utterly humiliated. Also I wouldn't go the sneaky 'talk to the beautician route', sooner or later (6 weeks!) the hair will grow back. You can't be buying her facial vouchers every two months or she'd defo get suspicious!

Eamonn Keane:
tippguy2 was merely pointing out a possible reason for the facial hair. Pcos is not uncommon and a very common symptom is excess facial hair. It is not the same thing as a woman having a small amount above the lip hair that's dark. (In which case OP would apparently not have been attracted to her if it was this visible...) Someone with dark hair will generally remove it, someone with the same amount of fair hair probably won't and it may never cause a problem but with pcos there will be a more than usual amount of hair.

Anyway, back to the topic, I think OP is being a bit shallow but he's entitled to his preferences. In this case the girl may have a lucky escape...

shellyboo

EamonnKeane wrote: »

OTT crap. Surely being not hairy is a minimum standard?

Seems to be, for women if not for men. However, to dump someone over a little facial hair is undoubtedly shallow. Having encountered more than one unappealingly over-hairy man in my life, I assure you men that excess hair is nothing that you can't get over. Try it.

,mnb wrote: »

Wax your upper lips girls! This is a warning. And spread the word.

Wax your backs men!
Oh, and don't forget the crack and sack too!
Oh, and while you're at it... get rid of the monobrow!


Two-way street, boys. If you expect us to be as hairless as the day we were born, you'd want to start making a bit of effort yourselves.

WindSock

I have facial hair, I have a very visable moustache and a few hairs on my chinny chin chin. Don't get me started on my eyebrows...I'm a freak. Freeeeeaaaak. Stick me in a room and throw away the key, put in a window and charge €2 to see it. ugh it's so un-natural.
Well theres that option or a wonderful invention called wax strips for when I could be arsed/remember/am reminded by the pointers and jeerers.

drunkymonkey

sir! wrote: »

when i kissed her i could feel it. It was freaky, felt like kissing a man.

how do you know what kissing a man is like?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have facial hair - upper lip and chin. I hate it with a vengeance and do my best to minimize its appearance. My husband hates it which I understand. I got really embarassed when we first discussed it but he had no idea how I felt about it or the points I'm going to outline below.

I realise this thread was started in February but my point of view may be useful to other poster. There's a lot more to hair removal on a sensitive area like the face.

1. You can't wax and have a facial on the same day - probably not even for a few days either side.
2. Waxing can cause lots of spots - they do in my case despite a very thorough skin care routine.
3. You can't put on makeup or any other product onto the waxed area for 24 hours after waxing
4. You have to let the hair grow to a certain length before it can be waxed which means that even if you get waxed regularly it will be visible for probably a week at a minimum depending on how fast it grows.
5. The hair removal creams aren't very good - they can burn the skin or leave 'stubble' behind
6. Laser treatment is expensive
7. Laser treatment can't be done if you are going out in the sun as you risk blemishing your skin permanently
8. Again for laser therapy the hair must be a certain length and only works well on dark hair which means that you can't use any bleaching creams to disgusise it.
9. Electrolysis is very painful
10. Neither laser nor electrolysis are permanent hair removal techniques

There's loads more to it including the embarassment a lot of girls feel when discussing it even with a beauty therapist. I don't believe the OP is shallow or anything like it - I understand it but for all other men out there, it's not as simple as getting it waxed off.

Hope this helps someone!