im an idiot...

DILLIGAF

so yeah, I'm not exactly a great guy,but not a bad guy either. Only, when it comes to women I tend to be a little unruly and kind of mean I guess.

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field. After much communication via text(I love the age we live in) we got it together and I spent a night at hers. A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

DILLIGAF

DILLIGAF wrote: »

so yeah, I'm not exactly a great guy,but not a bad guy either. Only, when it comes to women I tend to be a little unruly and kind of mean I guess.

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field. After much communication via text(I love the age we live in) we got it together and I spent a night at hers. A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

apologise profusely then leave her alone, stop blaming your idiocy on phones, try to be less stupid in general in future

dar_cool

Ouch hate when that happens!!! you put your foot in it there haha:D
aye if shes not having any of it just leave it,as you said there were somethings you didnt like about her so ya know

Fanny Cradock

I bet she was thinking that she wasn't in to you because you slept with her on the first date and because you have awful taste in music.

Chinafoot

What Bluewolf said.

DILLIGAF wrote: »

A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

Also, you should probably cop to yourself and realise that you also slept with her the first time you kissed. Getting rid of your double standards and trying to change the way you treat women might benefit you in the long run. Karma bit you in the arse ont his one and you should perhaps try and learn from it. We don't all buy into that 'treat em mean, keep em keen' bullshít, as demonstrated by this girl's rection.

Let this one go and try to grow up.

estar

DILLIGAF wrote: »

so yeah, I'm not exactly a great guy,but not a bad guy either. Only, when it comes to women I tend to be a little unruly and kind of mean I guess.

how you treat partners / women says a lot about how you feel about
yourself. treat them like sh*t - you dont have much respect for yourself
why would you want to spend time with someone that you want to be mean to??????? very self destructive really. and immature.

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field. After much communication via text(I love the age we live in) we got it together and I spent a night at hers. A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

so many conflicts here - you wanted to score this hot girl, and yet
are disappointed that she didnt wait to get to know you before sleeping
with her - so on one hand you are being totally superficial yourself, and
yet expect her to be ladylike when you are just acting like a lad yourself.
you speak of leagues of hotness, playing fields, and her taste in music.
its just too childish for words. i know boys will be boys, and this is a
stage you are growing through obviously, but is it really necessary?

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

if you are looking for advice to turn this situation around, i dont have it.
if you are looking for comfort at your misfortune, i have none for you.
what i can say is that you need to grow up and stop acting like you
are fifteen - sleeping with someone, bi8ching about them to big yourself
up to your friends, and making yourself look ridiculous in the process.

treat people with respect in future. thats the only advice you need.

i hate the age we live in too, where behaviour like yours is deemed
ok and normal. oh ill just chat up this hot chick and sleep with her
as shes out of my league so ill look good, then bi8tch about her behind
her back and try and charm her around when she finds out.

are you so low in self esteem that this is the only way you can feel
good about yourself. anyone can lie to people. it isnt clever or hard.
what is hard is being honest and yourself.

anyway good luck with whatever action you take next.

tritium

Hard to disagree with the title you choose for the thread OP

DILLIGAF wrote: »

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field.

Lucky you, most people would try not to screw up something like this when it happens

DILLIGAF wrote: »

A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

As others have pointed out, you were also happy to sleep with her.

DILLIGAF wrote: »

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

Classy OP, roll with it a little longer eh! Pretty obvious you weren't really serious about this, so I'm kind of wondering what exactly is the kind of advice youy were looking for. Would you like to know how to use her a bit longer?

DILLIGAF wrote: »

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

Yeah, as others have said, grow up!! You might also consider your general attitude to women. Long run your current attitude is likely to get you a reputation you don't want to have, especially if you live in a small town as you appear to indicate. As regards this girl, I'd suggest send her an apology and then leave her be

leninbenjamin

so.... the OP was giving out about her in the text. but still wants her?

Sounds like an acute case of multiple personality disorder to me. I suggest seeing a psychiatrist.

Overheal

So you know that she's not good for you; that somethings off about her; that the relationship will never work out; but you still want the sex ...

Yep - I think I'll just stay a virgin forever and keep my common sense.

Sherifu

Chinafoot wrote: »

Let this one go and try to grow up.

Have to agree, if her taste in music and fact that she slept with you first time you kissed is bothering you then i'd have to say that sounds childish to me. Apologise is all you can do really.

I hate txting the wrong person by accident only happened to me a handful of times though luckily

Nerin

I think I'll just stay a virgin forever and keep my common sense.

if only we lived in this perfect world of which you speak
OP, that was pretty much Karma for what you were saying/thinking of her.
you might as well apologise, let it go, and try and let it be a lesson to you in future

WhiteWashMan

DILLIGAF wrote: »

she's having none of it.

good for her.

Theres nothing wrong with being with someone on a one night stand, although your hypocracy over being disgusted at her sleeping with you is pure muppetry on your part.

She seems to have her head on straight. She slept with you becuase she wanted to sleep with someone, and when she finds out you are (to quote yourself) an idiot, she wants nothing more to do with you.

yes. good for her.

DILLIGAF

yeah,cheers for all the name calling! ^^

I also notice that the majority of replies are from some insanely high posters,dont get laid much do ye?JOKING. She should never have fronted to me that way. You talk about my behavior being unacceptable. She dropped hers before I dropped mine.
I've only ever had one meaningful relationship and I was a teenager at the time. It just doesn't work like that anymore. If someone isn't perfect looking then they don't get a chance to start with, and more often than not if their a dickhead it's overlooked based on looks anyway. I've been with more charming ugly chicks on the grounds of how they treat me. Like an asshole.

I'm not saying women are sex objects, I'm just saying that if they act like one how am I supposed to treat them? Is there no other man out there that will admit that they were turned off by a girl that just puts out? If a girl keeps me chasing I won't call her tight her frigid. It gets me going and keeps me interested. There should be a mystery about that kind of intimacy for as long as possible and in my honest opinion, there will ALWAYS be a double standard between a female slut and a male slut. I know it's 2008 so don't get on my case about equal rights.Call me an asshole if you want, but im simply exploiting what I can in the hope that I might actually find someone to love again

Sherifu

DILLIGAF wrote: »

yeah,cheers for all the name calling! ^^

I also notice that the majority of replies are from some insanely high posters,dont get laid much do ye?JOKING.

Location: ....Sim City.... tbh

DILLIGAF wrote: »

Call me an asshole if you want, but im simply exploiting what I can in the hope that I might actually find someone to love again

That could be your pb right there...

Chinafoot

DILLIGAF wrote: »

She should never have fronted to me that way. You talk about my behavior being unacceptable. She dropped hers before I dropped mine.

ROFL...so what?! Maybe all she was after was a once off? The difference here is you're the one saying how it was worng of her to do it, but not for you. That doesn't make any sense and is of course going to irk people.

DILLIGAF wrote: »

I've only ever had one meaningful relationship and I was a teenager at the time. It just doesn't work like that anymore. If someone isn't perfect looking then they don't get a chance to start with, and more often than not if their a dickhead it's overlooked based on looks anyway. I've been with more charming ugly chicks on the grounds of how they treat me. Like an asshole.

I wonder why that is...

DILLIGAF wrote: »

I'm not saying women are sex objects, I'm just saying that if they act like one how am I supposed to treat them? Is there no other man out there that will admit that they were turned off by a girl that just puts out? If a girl keeps me chasing I won't call her tight her frigid. It gets me going and keeps me interested.

Then why do you want advice about this girl? Why not just walk away? I mean, she is a big slut after all, right?

DILLIGAF wrote: »

There should be a mystery about that kind of intimacy for as long as possible and in my honest opinion, there will ALWAYS be a double standard between a female slut and a male slut.

Wow....just, wow. You could have easily said no, ya know.

DILLIGAF wrote: »

I know it's 2008 so don't get on my case about equal rights.Call me an asshole if you want, but im simply exploiting what I can in the hope that I might actually find someone to love again

I wouldn't hold my breath to be honest. With that attitude, expect to be single for quite some time.

DILLIGAF

oh come on ffs,lighten up, if I wanted to have some take a pop at me I'd have rang her by now. if you have nothing useful to add then dont bother -_-

DILLIGAF

ah yeah, wave that flag.didn't realize the republican dream was alive and well.

*yawn*

and Stephanie, you sound your taking it all a little personally. Im here telling people what happened, and admitting im an asshole, don't think your any more self righteous by reaffirming the obvious

Chinafoot

DILLIGAF wrote: »

oh come on ffs,lighten up, if I wanted to have some take a pop at me I'd have rang her by now. if you have nothing useful to add then dont bother -_-

How am I not being useful? Do you want me to validate your opinion and tell you you're right? She's a slut and you aren't even though you both did exactly the same thing? Neither of you are sluts, but your attitude towards this situation and this girl is seriously twisted.

If you are genuinely looking for "someone to love again" you will most definitely need to change your attitude. If you don't want to sleep with someone on the first night, then don't. Are you so weak that you can't say no?

Using and abusing is not the way to go to start a relationship with someone.

Oh and if you post in PI you can be sure you won't get everyone to agree with you....refute the responses instead of posting rubbish.

DILLIGAF

twisted? thats a new one! Anyway, your the one spending time replying to an 'asshole' on the internet at 2am,maybe you should start your own personal issues thread! But yeah,I'm an asshole but at least I admit it. but also a classically trained asshole. And if I'm asked to cross examine the lyrics to a Leona song excuse me for tuning out and thinking of a taxi number. I do gauge some level of IQ and overall intelligence based on someones musical tastes. It's another bad habit, but one that has, in part, served me well over the years. And before you start the warhorns on how shallow that is, I'm sure many of you have dissed emo kids for listening to my chemical romance and the like, and judging their mood etc because of it. The stereotype of someone who only listens to hardhouse falls into the pillhead/boy/girl racer category and so on and so on. I do the same with pop music fans and always have. Theyt fall into the mind numbing masses who seek what they find in the romantic comedy section of xtra vision or the music videos they watch on sky.Many people are,in part, trying to live the dream when it comes to significant others, I'm not fooling myself, if she'll do that for me, she'll do it for any other guy that she takes a fancy to, and I won't play like that. **** it.Im nearly not arsed looking at this thread anymore seeing as many knickers have already been in a twist. most important 2 posts so far were the first to replies,cheers

Chinafoot

DILLIGAF wrote: »

and Stephanie, you sound your taking it all a little personally. Im here telling people what happened, and admitting im an asshole, don't think your any more self righteous by reaffirming the obvious

lol, why would I take anything personally?

You asked for advice and didn't like what you were told. Change your attitude and you might have more luck finding that special someone. Simple.

As for your comment about her taste in music, I don't think anyone has really focused on that in their reply and I don't really see how it's relevant myself.

The only one with their knickers in a twist on this thread is yourself.

G'luck.

m83

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAG18UUDPPI

dannydiamond

Well you got what you wanted and what you deserved,you should be happier now,I bet she is!

DILLIGAF

hahaha think I woke up the neighbors I was laughing so loud! Most appropriate input ever!:D legendary,thanks man! And chinafoot lady,can't we just be friends?

Yeah I'd say she's pretty happy alright, she's knows what me and my mates are like so I doubt it was that much of a shock. But I do feel bad, hence me feeling the need to tell someone that won't know me or her or whatever. This isn't a bragging thread, which is why I don't understand all the hostility,but yeah.

dannydiamond

Well fair enough didn't mean to have a go but that incident with the phone,such a schoolboy error! You said you were gonna finish with her anyway,i can see how you'd be bloody annoyed though.
Just be careful next time!!

randylonghorn

Paul, you posted in PI and you got an honest response, whether you liked it or not.

Instead of throwing a wobbly, see if there is anything you could learn from it?

Tbh, dude, from your comments about your only meaningful relationship being in your teens, and your behaviour now, you give me the impression of someone who was quite hurt by that episode, so now you go around treating women fairly badly and just basically looking for a sheath for your sword ... with somewhere in the back of your head the hope that someday one of them will kick you in the swordbelt, and will turn out to be some kind of modern Maid Marian, feisty yet pure, who will put manners on you and the two of you will live happily ever after in the rosy glow of a perpetual sunset.

It's an old Hollywood meme ... don't think I've ever seen it work out in real life, tbh.

Try treating women as people ... you will be surprised at how much difference that makes.

Overheal wrote: »

Yep - I think I'll just stay a virgin forever and keep my common sense.

Lol ... maybe that works for you, Overheal, but I can honestly say that I was much more of an idiot with regards to women before I lost it ... and I would say the same for most at least of the guys I hung out with.

passive

*insert "epic fail" lolcat here*
*+advice*
*+++endorsement of song*

DILLIGAF

randylonghorn wrote: »

Paul, you posted in PI and you got an honest response, whether you liked it or not.

Instead of throwing a wobbly, see if there is anything you could learn from it?

Tbh, dude, from your comments about your only meaningful relationship being in your teens, and your behaviour now, you give me the impression of someone who was quite hurt by that episode, so now you go around treating women fairly badly and just basically looking for a sheath for your sword ... with somewhere in the back of your head the hope that someday one of them will kick you in the swordbelt, and will turn out to be some kind of modern Maid Marian, feisty yet pure, who will put manners on you and the two of you will live happily ever after in the rosy glow of a perpetual sunset.

It's an old Hollywood meme ... don't think I've ever seen it work out in real life, tbh.

Try treating women as people ... you will be surprised at how much difference that makes.


Lol ... maybe that works for you, Overheal, but I can honestly say that I was much more of an idiot with regards to women before I lost it ... and I would say the same for most at least of the guys I hung out with.

Thanks man, your not entirely wrong there. I'm working on it I guess

randylonghorn

DILLIGAF wrote: »

Thanks man, your not entirely wrong there. I'm working on it I guess

'Tis easy to spot when you've been there. Though I went for the James Bond approach (well, I tried! ) rather than going the "treat 'em rough & f**k 'em!" road. At the end of the day, though, for a while there I was just as open to real intimacy as you seem to be right now, and all that really mattered was the score: on the bedpost; out of 10 in my head for looks.

If all you're looking for is bragging rights and less wear-and-tear on your right wrist, that will probably work out ok for the moment ... but it gets lonely, and the chances of starting a real relationship that way ... well, let's just say the words "snowball" and "hell" spring to mind!

DILLIGAF

haha yup, same page alright man. Thanks for the level headed response, I get a little antsy when people are having a pop at me,a cornered fox and all that. The more I think about it,the worse I feel, I didn't want to hurt her, and sure she had all the looks I wanted and then some, but my mindset isn't doing me any favors at the end of the day, and thats partly why I ****ed up. Sure, I'll post back up as it develops if anyone cares.thanks again for the advice

Overheal

DILLIGAF wrote: »

haha yup, same page alright man. Thanks for the level headed response, I get a little antsy when people are having a pop at me,a cornered fox and all that. The more I think about it,the worse I feel, I didn't want to hurt her, and sure she had all the looks I wanted and then some, but my mindset isn't doing me any favors at the end of the day, and thats partly why I ****ed up. Sure, I'll post back up as it develops if anyone cares.thanks again for the advice

So your testes havent yet gained a complete foothold in your sense of morality? Wou....

Hope you've learned something from this; I'm sure she has too.

randylonghorn

DILLIGAF wrote: »

I get a little antsy when people are having a pop at me .....................The more I think about it, the worse I feel, I didn't want to hurt her, and sure she had all the looks I wanted and then some, but my mindset isn't doing me any favors at the end of the day, and thats partly why I ****ed up.

Most people weren't really having a pop at you, they were just telling you the blunt truth ... you just didn't want to hear it because it was re-inforcing what you knew yourself. OK, a couple put the boot in a bit hard ... but for all you know maybe they had been where she is now?

Make a point of offering the girl a genuine apology, for your self-respect as much as hers, even if it's only by email or text (given that approaching her personally at the moment may allow you to use your classical training to objectively evaluate how high you can sing when she buries her knee in your goolies! ) Even if it's only "I was a complete arsehole; I'm sorry!"

Then leave her alone, unless she chooses to re-open communications ... and I kinda doubt that she will, tbh. Them's the breaks ... you fucked up, now you gotta live with it.

randylonghorn

Overheal wrote: »

So your testes havent yet gained a complete foothold in your sense of morality?

Jeez, Overheal, what a mixed metaphor ... that's given me the most ludicrous mental image!!! xD

Overheal

Personally I think E-communique might be a little insensitive here: if you can go apologise in person, do.

RandyLongHorn wrote:

Jeez, Overheal, what a mixed metaphor ... that's given me the most ludicrous mental image!!! xD

Randy, I dont even want to know.

Leon11

if she's good looking and you banged her, who cares, don't think bout it, notch it on your bedpost!

randylonghorn

Overheal wrote: »

Personally I think E-communique might be a little insensitive here.

Point taken, it often is in fact, but do you really think she wants to see him right now? At least if he starts that way, he might have more hope of offering a personal apology at a later date.

Overheal wrote: »

Randy, I dont even want to know.

You're right, you don't! >.<

Leon11 wrote: »

if she's good looking and you banged her, who cares, don't think bout it, notch it on your bedpost!

Think we've already dealt fairly thoroughly with that aspect of the issue, mate, and the penknife is safely back in the drawer!

Overheal

Leon11 wrote: »

if she's good looking and you banged her, who cares, don't think bout it, notch it on your bedpost!

Classy.

Carrigart Exile

Fanny Cradock wrote: »

I bet she was thinking that she wasn't in to you because you slept with her on the first date and because you have awful taste in music.

+1 And now she has found out he's a sloppy texter:D

Barlow07

DILLIGAF wrote: »

so yeah, I'm not exactly a great guy,but not a bad guy either. Only, when it comes to women I tend to be a little unruly and kind of mean I guess.

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field. After much communication via text(I love the age we live in) we got it together and I spent a night at hers. A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

Dont communicate by text message.

Mazeire

DILLIGAF wrote: »

Call me an asshole if you want,

Ok then. You're an asshole.

Wibbs

Calm it down Mazeire. Personal abuse, even if asked for is not tolerated.

Marksie

Right: some of you take it to PM if you want to intercommunicate.
Passive: on topic
M83: Post pics up again and your taking an early bath.

OP:If you get antsy when people are giving advice then you are only looking for advice you want to see.

anymore derailing of this thread, name calling or whatever i will get antsy

IvyTheTerrible

I think the best thing to do here is chalk it up to experience and leave her be. You weren't that mad about her anyway and now she's really peed off with you. Is it really worth the bother of trying to fix things up with her?

(And I don't agree with some of the things you've said, but those points have already been made).

Mr. Incognito

This girl is obviously still out of your league.

DILLIGAF

SetantaL wrote: »

This girl is obviously still out of your league.

eh,well,I may have burst her bubble on that when I called her a fool. have you been reading any of this thread?

DILLIGAF

Marksie wrote: »

OP:If you get antsy when people are giving advice then you are only looking for advice you want to see.

I don't know if thats entirely true but if I'm just going to be called names then that's not really advice is it.There's been some good advice from a few people and some pointless input from others.thanks all the same

St Bill

OP, all you can do is apologise and leave it at that.
May I add that you obviously don't like being called names so maybe you should treat the people around you the way you want to be treated yourself

DILLIGAF

yeah I know,i've got some issues in that regard like

SarahSassy

DILLIGAF wrote: »

so yeah, I'm not exactly a great guy,but not a bad guy either. Only, when it comes to women I tend to be a little unruly and kind of mean I guess.

I managed to score this REALLY hot girl in our town. The kind that I would have written up as being well out of my playing field. After much communication via text(I love the age we live in) we got it together and I spent a night at hers. A few things kind threw me off about her,taste in music, fact that she slept with me the first time we kissed etc.

Anyway, I was gonna roll with it for a little bit longer,until I was kinda having a go at her in a text message to one of my mates and sent it straight to her by mistake(I hate the age we live in)

yeah so I kind of talked her around to being friends and chatting at least but she's having none of it. I should probably just let her be, but any advice all the same?

The least of her problems is her bad taste in music, I think her poor choice of men is the real issue here.. But then again, she got sense and dumped you....

From your comments above (esp about her sleeping with you the first time you met) leave her alone and let her meet someone nice AKA not YOU!!!!.

Overheal

What kind of advice were you looking for exactly? Please clarify. Are we talking about advice for apologising to her, dealing with your remorse, or getting back into her pants? I'm serious here: your cander suggests thats what you're interested in, more so than the girl's feelings.

Jack B. Badd

DILLIGAF wrote:

im an idiot...

DILLIGAF wrote:

Call me an asshole if you want

DILLIGAF wrote:

I'm an asshole but at least I admit it

All your statements about how much of an asshole and an idiot you are seem like a massive cop-out tbh. You've gone as far as recognising that there is an aspect of your personality that most people wouldn't like (and which I'm guessing you don't particularly like whether or not you're willing to admit it). Instead of doing something constructive about this aspect of your personality and examining why you act like an asshole, as you put it, you get all defensive when criticised about it and start "bigging up" your bad behaviour.
After reading your posts I'm inclined to agree with randylonghorn; you've more than likely been hurt in the past and now as soon as you start to feel vulnerable your defences go up. You'll be doing yourself a massive favour if you can learn not to react in a knee-jerk fashion when someone criticises you.

DILLIGAF

yeah ok,i think we're done here!cheers