So my friend was in the bath...

Adam · 25-01-2008 4:21pm #1

Masturbating like a good thing, and he shoots himself in the eye.

On two separate occasions!

Thoughts? Comments? Burns I can use at a later date?

Sabre0001 · 25-01-2008 4:24pm

Your "friend" eh...

Hmm...............

Ishmael · 25-01-2008 4:24pm

And you know this because............

Ruu_Old · 25-01-2008 4:25pm

"friend" *wink, wink, signal* Don't point that bloody thing at me! Filthy pair!

Sherifu · 25-01-2008 4:26pm

Can he see any better now?

ScumLord · 25-01-2008 4:26pm

Mirror wrote: »

Masturbating like a good thing, and he shoots himself in the eye.

On two separate occasions!

Thoughts? Comments? Burns I can use at a later date?

Well he must have been told he'd go blind at himself all the time. Next time maybe he'll listen to his mother.

Mossy Monk · 25-01-2008 4:26pm

Mirror wrote: »

Masturbating like a good thing, and he shoots himself in the eye.

On two separate occasions!

Thoughts? Comments? Burns I can use at a later date?

You shouldn't be watching your friend masturbate in the bath.

Pervert.

Maximilian · 25-01-2008 4:28pm

I wonder how many **** threads that is now? Is there a statistics thingy for Boards?

How about a dedicated **** & **** forum?

Xavi6 · 25-01-2008 4:29pm

Ah good ol mushroom island.

Adam · 25-01-2008 4:31pm

Maximilian wrote: »

I wonder how many **** threads that is now? Is there a statistics thingy for Boards?

How about a dedicated **** & **** forum?

Great idea!

Honestly, when I was told the story, I couldn't understand why anyone would let that out. I'd keep such events fairly close to my chest! Unfortunately he missed his chest I guess.

KamiKazi · 25-01-2008 4:31pm

So masturbation does make you blind!

25-01-2008 4:35pm

there are no words!

Mr. Incognito · 25-01-2008 4:36pm

Maybe he liked it the first time and...........

Lockstep · 25-01-2008 4:38pm

KamiKazi wrote: »

So masturbation does make you blind!

Of course.

I used to be a danger in the science lab. Prime examples include me getting calcium up my nose and spilling hydrochloric acid on my friends workbook.
Anyways.

Once I was putting down a beaker of copper sulphate but let it down to suddenly so a jet shot up and hit me in the eye.
I got an eyepatch for a week and had a grand old time telling people that I had hit myself in the eye ****.

eeeh good times.

briantwin · 25-01-2008 4:42pm

Ahahahaha..... Lesson learned...you'd think! He managed to have a bukaki solo session not once but twice!!?? Did he tell you this story with a "suggestive" tone in his voice. Maybe he wanted to try round three in multiplayer???

Red Hand · 25-01-2008 4:48pm

Well, don't let any of his female relatives use the bath after him.;)

They will be entering multiple toe territory if they do...

RandolphEsq · 25-01-2008 4:50pm

Pink eye

MCMLXXXIII · 25-01-2008 4:52pm

...maybe he normally doesn't shoot it that far?

All I know is that it stings like woah...

It would make for a good "cock block" though. If he's talking to a girl he fancies you can tell her that he shoots himself in the eye on multiple ocations, smile, then go order yourself another beer and watch him squirm. Don't expect nothing back though :rolleyes:

Xavi6 · 25-01-2008 4:54pm

MCMLXXXIII wrote: »

...maybe he normally doesn't shoot it that far?

All I know is that it stings like woah...

It would make for a good "cock block" though. If he's talking to a girl he fancies you can tell her that he shoots himself in the eye on multiple ocations, smile, then go order yourself another beer and watch him squirm. Don't expect nothing back though :rolleyes:

Except maybe a shot in the eye from across the dancefloor.....

prendy · 25-01-2008 4:57pm

another classic thread!!!

Adam · 25-01-2008 5:00pm

It just baffles me! I mean once, fine, it was an accident... but twice?! It raises eyebrows!

Red Hand · 25-01-2008 5:03pm

Make him wear sunglasses and a balaclava next time he is going for a bath. Problem solved.

Adam · 25-01-2008 5:05pm

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Make him wear sunglasses and a balaclava next time he is going for a bath. Problem solved.

Well I was thinking it would warrant a quirky birthday present on that level!

randylonghorn · 25-01-2008 8:10pm

Maximilian wrote: »

How about a dedicated **** & **** forum?

Boards and **** ... two of my favourite hobbies combined ... yeah! \o/

Seriously, though, I think it could get out of hand quite quickly ...

Mirror wrote: »

I'd keep such events fairly close to my chest!

Ah, but you obviously don't have the same range or velocity ... no wonder you wouldn't feel the need to boast!

Xavi6 · 25-01-2008 10:51pm

randylonghorn wrote: »

Boards and **** ... two of my favourite hobbies combined ... yeah! \o/

Seriously, though, I think it could get out of hand quite quickly ...

Yeah if the admins apporved it it'd be the kind of forum that could blow up in their face

Pepe LeFrits · 25-01-2008 11:09pm

coolsmileygirl wrote: »

there are no words!

Except "arousal".

Dord · 25-01-2008 11:58pm

Mirror wrote: »

Well I was thinking it would warrant a quirky birthday present on that level!

How about this for his next birthday?

http://www.alligata.co.uk/media/gbu0/prodsm/safety-goggles.jpg

togster · 26-01-2008 1:11am

to remove cum from eye the best thing is to wash it out with urine i find anyway.

Naos · 26-01-2008 1:24am

"Zee goggles, they do nothing!"

Naikon · 26-01-2008 1:55am

Why was he **** in the bath

minidazzler · 26-01-2008 1:57am

Now he knows how my last score felt.

Overheal · 26-01-2008 3:09am

Seriously Mirror: is it that hard to aim your dick away from your face?

lulz @ pinkeye.

randylonghorn · 27-01-2008 12:42am

Overheal wrote: »

Seriously Mirror: is it that hard to aim your dick away from your face?

No, but who the hell thinks about aiming it at that moment in time?

Zaph · 27-01-2008 2:11am

Naikon wrote: »

Why was he **** in the bath

I was wondering that too. I'd rather not have a bath with man juice floating around in it, even if it's my own.

RoundyMooney · 27-01-2008 3:40am

randylonghorn wrote: »

No, but who the hell thinks about aiming it at that moment in time?

Some of us don't see where it goes.

awaits a witty rejoiner

FunkZ · 27-01-2008 3:42am

Ya should get him a dart board for practise...

randylonghorn · 27-01-2008 3:55am

RoundyMooney wrote: »

Some of us don't see where it goes.

Well, given that the basic underlying premise of this thread was the directional vagaries of masturbatory ejaculation (with a sub-theme around why one would apply one's own facecream in the bath), I can only assume ...

1) short dick, and / or
2) big beer belly, and / or
3) miniscule volume

... unless you were deliberately going off-topic, Mr. Mooney?

tbh · 28-01-2008 10:18am

**** in the bath? wouldn't you end up sitting in.....it?

ps, what's with the whole trend of starting posts with the word "so"?

Kur4mA · 28-01-2008 10:42am

Your mate is a dirty fecker **** in the bath, never mind shooting himself in the eye. Does he just direct his own cock snot into a corner of the bath and then hope for the best?

popebenny16 · 28-01-2008 12:40pm

Was he aiming for his mouth? Surely you have pointed that obvious conclusion out to him, or are you waiting for his mates to be around for that?

I would.

Adam · 28-01-2008 3:09pm

popebenny16 wrote: »

Was he aiming for his mouth? Surely you have pointed that obvious conclusion out to him, or are you waiting for his mates to be around for that?

I would.

You know what? I never thought of that one. May I shake your hand?

randylonghorn · 28-01-2008 11:27pm

Mirror wrote: »

You know what? I never thought of that one. May I shake your hand?

Depends ... when did you last have a bath? O_o