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Non-Stutterer's View

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  • Registered Users Posts: 22,065 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Fixed your link Psychophysiology.

    I still think you meant psychological, though! :D

    Not your ornery onager



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭sherdydan


    there was a lad i got on grand with in school who had a stutter, and it didnt bother me in the least, but i always wondered, for people who stutter, is it that they can think everything they want to say in there mind, but they cant get the words out, or does there mind get stuck?

    have phrased that terribly i know, but hopefully ye get what i mean!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10,367 ✭✭✭✭watna


    My fiance is a stammerer and hand on heart I find it endearing.

    He was bad as a child but then got better when he moved from South Africa to New Zealand (which I think I mentioned in this forum before). He thinks it's because the SA accent is very harsh and that made it worse (he speaks with a NZ accent now). He only stammers with me when he's very tired - as soon as I hear him stammer I ask him if he's tired and he always says yes, how did you know? He doesn't realise he's stammering.

    Occasionally he stammers when we're meeting people for official reasons, like we're viewing a house, or we're at the bank, things like that. I occasionally have to rescue him.

    Otherwise, he's grand. He does a lot of public speaking for his job as well and he does a great job.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 440 ✭✭nicechick!


    Stephen P wrote: »
    I've robbed this from another forum and I think it's a good subject for this relatively new forum.

    What are the views of non-stutterer's on people who stutter? Maybe you have a friend who stutter's or have a family member who stutter's...
    Do you know enough information about stuttering? Or anything at all?

    Experiences from those who stutter are welcome, what do your friends and family think of your stutter?

    I'm interested to hear the good things and also bad things.

    When I was younger I hung out with a girl who stuttered I used to kick myself as I would finish her sentences!! Not the intention but even though we were young I felt then and now looking back that I would have stifled her ability to freely communicate with her friends stutter and all! though she never mentioned it I'm sure she didn't appreciate it or I assumed she didn't thankfully as an adult she still talks to me!!

    I have a friend who also has a stutter but honestly largely it goes unnoticed he is who he is. I know little about stuttering in general but know that is is quiet common in children and for many they tend to grow out of it. It can happen in adults who have had strokes, severe mental stress, anxiety.


  • Registered Users Posts: 11 lewisanson


    We stammerers who stutter to different degree's learn along lifes wonderful road that we are more self conscious as kids as we get older we realise the reality of who really cares as long as we communicate in some manner, it is only the ignorant and insecure who mock the afflicted. However try explaining this concept to a child and putting this attitude into practice is another challenge, but a challenge worth perservering. I am now 48 with a slight stammer but given the advice at a young age may have helped. There said that without even pausing...


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  • Registered Users Posts: 360 ✭✭radia


    Really interesting to hear that most, if not all, of those with a stutter/stammer on this thread advise listeners not to say the word the person is struggling with or to finish their sentence, as it comes across as impatient.

    I've just started working with someone who seems to have a very severe stammer, and I came to this forum specifically to see whether most people prefer listeners to complete the word or not, since I don't want to upset/offend her, and nor do I feel I know her well enough yet to ask her own preference.

    Obviously, the basis of Option A - waiting - is for the reasons people have already articulated: Not to rush the person or show impatience.

    But the reason I was also considering Option B - finishing a word/sentence - was not impatience, but rather that I sometimes feel like I'm torturing the girl by waiting: She's struggling with a word, I know what she's trying to say, she knows I know, and yet I'm just sitting there while she's blushing and struggling with it. It seems mean not to just help her get past that particular word/phrase and move on. Would none of you ever feel like that?

    Based on the answers upthread, I guess I'll continue to let her get the words out in her own time, but when you're talking to others and we say the word you're stuck on, don't always ascribe impatience to us! Sometimes we're doing it because we think you might prefer it! :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 164 ✭✭TheBa


    radia wrote: »
    Really interesting to hear that most, if not all, of those with a stutter/stammer on this thread advise listeners not to say the word the person is struggling with or to finish their sentence, as it comes across as impatient.

    I've just started working with someone who seems to have a very severe stammer, and I came to this forum specifically to see whether most people prefer listeners to complete the word or not, since I don't want to upset/offend her, and nor do I feel I know her well enough yet to ask her own preference.

    Obviously, the basis of Option A - waiting - is for the reasons people have already articulated: Not to rush the person or show impatience.

    But the reason I was also considering Option B - finishing a word/sentence - was not impatience, but rather that I sometimes feel like I'm torturing the girl by waiting: She's struggling with a word, I know what she's trying to say, she knows I know, and yet I'm just sitting there while she's blushing and struggling with it. It seems mean not to just help her get past that particular word/phrase and move on. Would none of you ever feel like that?

    Based on the answers upthread, I guess I'll continue to let her get the words out in her own time, but when you're talking to others and we say the word you're stuck on, don't always ascribe impatience to us! Sometimes we're doing it because we think you might prefer it! :)

    Hear hear! I have a stammer myself, and I actually am relieved when someone says the word I'm struggling with. I'm sure some people would rather say the word themselves, particularly if they have their own mechanism for dealing with it, but I'd certainly rather move on asap, even if it meant having a helping hand over a word.

    I suppose the only exception is when the person, despite their best intentions, gets the elusive word wrong. Things can get slightly awkwar then :P


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,995 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    I was talking to a colleague lately and they started stammering in a big way, I just acted like they had talked totally normally but I could tell they were annoyed they did it. I think the person who stammers thinks its a big deal but to the non stammer they dont pass any heed on it. no one is perfect.



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