Beer Money & Other Miscellaneous Activities.

cson

I need money. I'm currently writing this to the tune of that awful, awful Abba song. You know the one. Short of winning the lotto, selling my kidneys, prostituting myself and robbing the Ulster Bank - I've considered these options in detail but the drawbacks of possible prison time, death and being riddled with magic bag of std's has put me against these idea's.

So that means I have to get a *sigh* honest hardworking job *sigh*. Courtesy of my newfound snowboarding habit and a Ballymun in the sun Santa Ponsa sojourn in the summer I need a job during the week in Limerick in order to save all the yoyo's needed for these activities. And the usual hookers and coke addictions also.

I'm not too keen on going into the city, the logistics of it are complex to say the least. And the fact that the City Bus service has all the reliability of a three wheeled Lada. I've narrowed it down somewhat accordingly.

The University
Convenience: 10/10, 2 minute walk from the house
Prospective Employers: Stables, Java, SU Spar.....
Chances: 0/10, Theres more chance of Shane McGowan flashing his Pioneer badge to breath testing Garda than getting a job on campus. If you think hen's teeth are rare.... you should try look for an on campus job. If you do find one, give Kate & Gerry McCann a call, cos you can find anything!

Castletroy Shopping Centre
Convenience: 8/10, A nice bit of a walk, but not too bad.
Prospective Employers: Superquinn, Skobie Sports, Maccy D's, Storm, and I suppose you could include that bastion of uber sophistication; The Lodge.
Chances: 2/10, Considering I tried Storm and Superquinn earlier in the year and only got a nice "no room at the inn, we're full" postcard from Superquinn the chances of getting a job there are slim. Slimmer than Posh Spice on an atkins diet. Although she'd probably like shopping in Superquinn.

Retail Parks - Parkway & Childers Road
Convenience 3/10, Walking is ruled out tbh, gonna have to rely on that fooking Halleys Comet Bus Service (Once every 50 years) or alternatively get a bike (Which will probably end up with me mangled underneath a souped up 1973 Toyota Starlet) or alternatively-alternatively get me one of them chariots that the knackers use. I can just imagine parking it in front of Tk's.
Prospective Employers: Tk Maxx, Elverys, Homebase, PC World, Dunnes, JJB, Next, Heatons, Smyths etc etc. Theres a lot of businesszz but fook all jobs paradoxically me thinks.
Chances: A bit more chance of a job here, solely due to the large fecking number of massive retail stores. Largely unknown though, dunno whether any of these hire or even if they do, that they'll hire an innocent country boy.

Any advice boardsies? I'll prolly end up firing off a scatter of C.V.s to everyone in a spam like manner hoping to get one back asking me to come for the dreaded interview. Bear in mind I'm highly unemployable; I don't have a criminal record or anything (Unless you count wearing that brunch shirt out) but I've shag all experience working in bars or shops or anywhere!

On the bonus side, I'm prepared to work like a black for the first hour of the job......

Peteee

If you've already tried Storm then I cant really help you (We really are full at the inn but your post had me laughing heartily...maybe you could try your hand at being a stand up comedian?

kaimera

Take nekkid pics and sell em online.

Mossin

Peteee wrote: »

If you've already tried Storm then I cant really help you

I don't know about that...I'm sure I could try get an interview for CSON if I wanted to.

PeakOutput

do u have any lifeguard qualifications?

cson

Mossin wrote: »

I don't know about that...I'm sure I could try get an interview for CSON if I wanted to.

Hmmm, I'm intrigued. Will hookers and coke be inclusive? Will I have to wear my brunch shirt? How much butter will I need for you Mossin to get this interview?

PeakOutput wrote: »

do u have any lifeguard qualifications?

Does having watched 8 seasons of baywatch count? I can do the running through the sand thing, I have the fake boobs and all. Don't ask btw.

5uspect

Security etc in town or Dooradoyle perhaps? Not terribly convenient I know but I found the buses at commuting times reliable. Get onto the security firms at least. Tis a boring skanger packed job but its better than no coke and hookers.
There may be work going in the Technology Park.

rmacm

cson wrote: »

I need money. I'm currently writing this to the tune of that awful, awful Abba song.

I'm currently writing this to the tune of that fantastic Eagles song (Hotel California....yes the one where you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave). And no I'm not drunk before anyone asks but I'm thinking about it.

cson wrote: »

Short of winning the lotto, selling my kidneys, prostituting myself and robbing the Ulster Bank - I've considered these options in detail but the drawbacks of possible prison time, death and being riddled with magic bag of std's has put me against these idea's.

The Lotto is a slim possibility. I'll take your liver off you if you're willing to part with that (it never hurts to have a spare around). Prostituting yourself may not be as bad as it sounds can I recommend a visit to a doctor to load up on as many vaccinations as he/she will give you. Then go buy the other required protection and off you go. Given the current rates for escorts you'll be rolling in money in no time (or else you'll have caught some unfortunate disease that there is no cure for).

You have absolutely no commitment to the cause, all that robbing Ulster Bank requires is some resolve and enough weaponry and ammunition to make the Gardai think twice about coming near the place (given that it's Limerick we're talking about that shouldn't be too difficult)

cson wrote: »

So that means I have to get a *sigh* honest hardworking job *sigh*.

Poor you....let me get my tiny violin.

cson wrote: »

And the usual hookers and coke addictions also.

Give up the coke and hookers they're bad for you in ways that you can't imagine.

cson wrote: »

Any advice boardsies? I'll prolly end up firing off a scatter of C.V.s to everyone in a spam like manner hoping to get one back asking me to come for the dreaded interview. Bear in mind I'm highly unemployable; I don't have a criminal record or anything (Unless you count wearing that brunch shirt out) but I've shag all experience working in bars or shops or anywhere!

Ok enough of me trying to be funny. Storm is always a good bet and it may be worth trying there again. As usual send your CV in to as many places as you can. Experience won't matter much in a shop, you can be shown how to use a till in no time. The cinema probably doesn't require a whole lot of experience either.

Try the retail parks near up near the Parkway you may be lucky and find something up there. The walk isn't all that long anyway buy a decent coat and an umbrella for the rainy days. PC World and Dixons seemed to be looking for people a lot of the time when I was in UL. Dunnes Stores also frequently looking for staff so try there as well.

cson wrote: »

On the bonus side, I'm prepared to work like a black for the first hour of the job......

Only for the first hour, that's no good....it's alright though I'm sure you'll be worked like a dog where ever you end up.

rmacm

5uspect wrote: »

There may be work going in the Technology Park.

I forgot to mention there....as far as I know O2 take on students if you tell them that you'll stay for ~6 months. If it was a summer job you were looking for I'd recommend Cook Ireland or Vistakon (pay is good in both but you'll be working on shift and it wouldn't suit a student).

cson

Cheerio's Rory, I prolly will fire off the C.V.s like a trigger happy Yank in Eye-Rack. One other way of employment I have to investigate, and bear in mind I'm tentative to talk about it here because it's so innovative, is to be a busker exterminator. I got the idea while walking down cruises st before xmas, I was blinded (yer the ironing is delicious ) by the terrible noise coming from outside New Look. There were 3 fecking Bridies ****eing on about having the Time Of Your Life. It was bad enough that it was Greenday they were singing but sweet jesus, it sounded like they were trying to microwave a cat.

Yep I definitely think there is a future in it. All I gotta do is head down the Moyross way to pick up the requisite tools for the job.

kaimera wrote: »

Take nekkid pics and sell em online.

Just saw this now Kaimera and unfortunately there are free nekkid pics of me already up on Bebo somewhere. Well of my arse. And sadly the advent of new site (Erm my mate told me about them...hmm, yes that'll do eh) has made the price of nekkid pics drop to new low levels. We learned about it in economics with Supply and Demand. Well not about the neekid pics specifically, but I'd imagine it'd make a good fyp.

5uspect

You could always work as a cleaner. You might even meet some hot Polish girls!

cson

5uspect wrote: »

Security etc in town or Dooradoyle perhaps? Not terribly convenient I know but I found the buses at commuting times reliable. Get onto the security firms at least. Tis a boring skanger packed job but its better than no coke and hookers.
There may be work going in the Technology Park.

Alas 5uspect I'm not reknowned for my strength. I'm more of a Barack Obama character (In stature too, but without the blackness) than a raging Dubya bomb moyross type of guy.

The techermology park would suit though. I dunno wheter O2 would approve of my Vodafone past though. :eek:

@Petee, I'm telling if you wanted material for stand up comedy you should have taken the CityLink home from Dublin yesterday. We took it out of the Airport after coming home from Tignes (Snowboarding, hence my new addiction) and about 6 Dubliners (D4-ers as much as I hate that label) got on and sat down the back behind us. They shite they came out with was comedy gold. One of the pearls being "Omg Fionn I'd love to like just get a mould of you and make it into a teddy bear" :eek:

Dear god if they ever went abroad and gave foreigners an impression that this is what Irish people are like. It scares me to say the least.

rmacm

cson wrote: »

One other way of employment I have to investigate, and bear in mind I'm tentative to talk about it here because it's so innovative, is to be a busker exterminator.

If you do decide to go down this route I'd pay you a handsome sum if you'd complete the small task of clearing Grafton Street of the following:

• Preachers (all denominations they all give me a pain in the arse).
• Buskers (I don't really hate them but I might aswell throw them in anyway).
• Beggars at ATMs.
• Anti fur/abortion/whatever protesters (need I say more).

Each of these groups give me one more reason to avoid Grafton street which is a shame because sometimes walking down Grafton Street is the quickest way to get where I want to go.

cson wrote: »

The techermology park would suit though. I dunno wheter O2 would approve of my Vodafone past though. :eek:

I doubt they'd care some how.

5uspect

cson wrote: »

Alas 5uspect I'm not reknowned for my strength. I'm more of a Barack Obama character (In stature too, but without the blackness) than a raging Dubya bomb moyross type of guy.

You're not allowed to touch anyone in retail security. Just stand there like a tool. No strength required only tolerance for boredom...

ninty9er

5uspect wrote: »

You're not allowed to touch anyone in retail security. Just stand there like a tool. No strength required only tolerance for boredom...

Ypou can if you've seen someone leave with merchandise without paying!!

My job in the SU is going as I'm on co-op....hand in a CV to Adele, try and get down before the start of term though. It's minimum wage but p1ss easy. Be WARNED though. I WILL be back looking for it in September!!!

5uspect

ninty9er wrote: »

Ypou can if you've seen someone leave with merchandise without paying!!

Nope, only verbal contact. In fact you're better off letting them go and barring them in future.

PeakOutput

ninty9er wrote: »

Ypou can if you've seen someone leave with merchandise without paying!!

My job in the SU is going as I'm on co-op....hand in a CV to Adele, try and get down before the start of term though. It's minimum wage but p1ss easy. Be WARNED though. I WILL be back looking for it in September!!!

wat job would that be?

bluedolphin

ninty9er wrote: »

Ypou can if you've seen someone leave with merchandise without paying!!

My job in the SU is going as I'm on co-op....hand in a CV to Adele, try and get down before the start of term though. It's minimum wage but p1ss easy. Be WARNED though. I WILL be back looking for it in September!!!

Sniff, sniff... Cue, 'Everybody's changing...' The SU will miss you...As will the C&S office, Derek...Sniff, sniff...

Yeah, my tuppence worth was to suggest trying the SU. There are often positions going for casual labour. Or replacing ninty9er. Sniff. Ents Crew will be recruiting as well I'd imagine considering a number of last semester's lot are off on co-op/TP etc; talk to the CSO, Paddy, if you're interested - full training will be provided.

Try the SU shop as well; they are quite regularly looking for staff.

All SU jobs will be minimum wage, except for Ents which is a little more.

Happy job-hunting

ninty9er

5uspect wrote: »

Nope, only verbal contact. In fact you're better off letting them go and barring them in future.

I've seen people frogmarched, held on the floor and pinned against walls by security at work for robbing razor blades and after-shave. Gardaí come along and say nothing only take the robbing scum away.

5uspect

ninty9er wrote: »

I've seen people frogmarched, held on the floor and pinned against walls by security at work for robbing razor blades and after-shave. Gardaí come along and say nothing only take the robbing scum away.

Strange. Where I worked we had a strict no contact policy. Cson is screwed so!

PeakOutput

5uspect wrote: »

Strange. Where I worked we had a strict no contact policy. Cson is screwed so!

ye in dublin on henry street iv seen a guard kneel on sum junkies face as the junkie was trying to bite him they are allowed protect the staff and product so id assume that means physical contact

5uspect

Sounds like loads of fun!

cson

ninty9er wrote: »

Ypou can if you've seen someone leave with merchandise without paying!!

My job in the SU is going as I'm on co-op....hand in a CV to Adele, try and get down before the start of term though. It's minimum wage but p1ss easy. Be WARNED though. I WILL be back looking for it in September!!!

Hmmm, a desk job eh? Minimum Wage eh? Hookers eh?

cson

Ok, so I actually bothered my arse to something about it today. CVs and cover notes are all making their merry ways to Superquinn, Storm, McDonalds, The Lodge, Bambury Bookies, Elverys, Park Hotel, Champion Sports and O2 in the tech park, where they will more than likely just be put into the blue recyclable waste bins.

I'm setting the expectations to zero.

Might give the SU office a call and see if they'll let me fill the ninty9er sized void in the office too, cheers for the heads up Ninty9er and you'll have to work my arse groove out of your seat in Sept if I do get it though.

Mossin has intrigued me with his tempting offer of an interview with Storm..... If nothing else, it'll be a chance for me to wear one of my suits. God, I do love wearing suits....

kaimera

There's something to be said for velcro suits.

cee_jay

You could try Chawkes and Spar as well?

cson

Well the cost of my job hunting has risen to €12, €2.50 for envelopes and €9.50 for stamps, so I'll give it a week and see if any of the recipients are intrigued by the musk I sprayed on the CV. Then Chawkes and everywhere else will get one.

And velcro suits? :eek:

Whats to be said about them? That thats possibly one of the craziest ideas I've ever heard?!

"Well lads, what dya think of me new velcro suit?" *Said while wearing velcro suit and nike air max*

ninty9er

PM Sent

ergonomics

You should try up at Parkway. I worked up there before, in TK Maxx and it's not a bad walk. To be fair, if you're that desperate for a job you shouldn't be bothered walking there. It only takess about twenty minutes.

cson

Well I have my last envelope all stamped and a CV in it. So I think I'll address the cover note to TKs and hope for the best. Unfortunately Storm isn't looking likely so may as well just fire out the CVs everywhere within 20 mins walk.

I'm beginning to think that I'll still be unemployed come 29th Jan and back to College. I'll be off to the loan shark so.

Mossin

cson wrote: »

Well I have my last envelope all stamped and a CV in it. So I think I'll address the cover note to TKs and hope for the best. Unfortunately Storm isn't looking likely so may as well just fire out the CVs everywhere within 20 mins walk.

I'm beginning to think that I'll still be unemployed come 29th Jan and back to College. I'll be off to the loan shark so.

Yeah, my apologies about the Storm thing, I tried everything, but I just wasnt willing to degrade myself for the sake of an interview.

AFAIK Dunnes are always looking for staff, both in the Parkway and 24hr. Its good pay too.

cson

Mossin wrote: »

Yeah, my apologies about the Storm thing, I tried everything, but I just wasnt willing to degrade myself for the sake of an interview.

AFAIK Dunnes are always looking for staff, both in the Parkway and 24hr. Its good pay too.

No worries Mossin, I appreciate the fact that you tried and like I said, there are a few pints winging their way to you at the next bulbs for your efforts. I wouldn't expect you to engage in nefarious conduct for the sake of an interview anyway :eek:

Reminds me of an only fools & horses quote;
Rodney: What dya mean she didn't know whether it was indecent assault or not?
Del: Well she didn't find out until the next day when your mans cheque bounced.

Right, back on the bike for more job hunting...

It'll be interesting to see how this turns out but if cson was a betting man and unfortunately for his sake he is, he'd be offering 1/2 that he'll still be unemployed come February.

Mr. CooL ICE

I reckon Dunnes (childers rd) would be your best bet. Not sure how you apply, but even showing up with a CV in hand should result in something

CantGetNoSleep

Have you tried sperm donation, it's basically getting paid for having a w*nk?

Or else do one of those drug trials

Peteee

CantGetNoSleep wrote: »

Have you tried sperm donation, it's basically getting paid for having a w*nk?

You'd be making money hand over fist!

kaimera

Peteee wrote: »

You'd be making money hand over fist!

I knew that was coming..

cson

They all should have recieved their lovely CV and cover letter today. But my fone isn't hopping

cson to be still unemployed by February has been backed into 1-5

cson

OMG!!!11111!!!!!11111

Almost as soon as I'd posted that reply O2 called me!!!!11111!!!!

Had a grand oul chat with the girl on the phone but me suspects she was only doing it out of necessity - From the tone of her voice there seems to be ****e-all chance of me getting even an interview ("Ok, thats more or less it, we might call you back for an interview")

Another question that bothered me was "Do you know anyone currently working in O2" :eek:

Ah well, its an improvement on the last time, at least I actually got a phone call. w00t

kaimera

Another question that bothered me was "Do you know anyone currently working in O2"

I can't tell you that.

cson

Hmmm, any O2 employed boardsies want to sponsor me?

rmacm

cson wrote: »

Hmmm, any O2 employed boardsies want to sponsor me?

I'd imagine as with a lot of jobs canvassing for a position could reflect badly. Whatever you do just make sure you tell that you can stay longer than 6 months.

cson

Got a full at the inn letter from the Castletroy Park Hotel

Still, it was nice of them to acknowledge me unlike Elverys, Superquinn, McDonalds, Champion Sports, Tk Maxx and The Lodge. ITs only been 3 days though I spose...

bluedolphin

cson wrote: »

ITs only been 3 days though I spose...

Early days yet. Chin up

PeakOutput

cson are you from dublin?

if so im doing a 2 weekend course in lifesaving to get my cert and then gonna be working in the colelge pool. i know before xmas they were gagging for people and now with some leaving for coop im sure they will be more stuck so if you can find a short course to do in your area before then it might be worth a look

cson

I actually live on the banks of the Shannon more or less.....

But put it this way, if you were drowning and saw me coming towards you, you be a ****eload more scared than you were before you saw me.

Rineanna

cson,

I worked in Dunnes on Childers road during last semester. They seemed to be hiring staff like there's no tommorrow. They always have ads playing in the store for "evening and weekend staff, nightpack, etc".Just go to the customer service desk and ask for their applicatioon form. I handed in mine on, I think it was, a Monday, and was called for an interview the following Wednesday. They usually do the inductions on the Thursday and Friday/Saturday.

The money's class....€9 an hour. I was put in the deli and was working 5 days a week (3 evenings + weekend), which meant that I was coming out of there every week with around €230.

Yes, that's class money, but the hours were a killer. It was to the detriment of my college studies, as I was working at 6pm-10pm on 3 weekdays which left little time to do anything (study or otherwise) if I was finished college at 3/4. Your weekends are gone completely, and the days I was off, I was completely knackered (you'd be amazed how much work can be squashed into a 6-10pm shift!).

Make sure you say in the interview what you're willing to work, as they might put you on the floor or in textiles, homewares, etc. where they might only get 3/4 days a week.

In summary, class money but make sure you specify your college commitments from the start.

Hope that helps somewhat.

ninty9er

Rineanna wrote: »

cson,
The money's class....€9 an hour. I was put in the deli and was working 5 days a week (3 evenings + weekend), which meant that I was coming out of there every week with around €230.




In summary, class money but make sure you specify your college commitments from the start.

If you think €9 is class money you need your head examined;);). Is that a based on rises in a given period in excess of Social Partnership or just a flat €9.

I started in 2002 in Roches on €7 when minimum wage was €6.35 and by the time I told Debenhams to go FU<K THEMSELVES in July I was on €12.04 working sundays only, which meant in effect for my 6 hours a week I was making over €110. That's good money, but if the job's ****, or management are wan|<ers (which you hear a lot about Dunnes, one of my friend's was told if she wanted to keep her job she'd have to skip a compulsory lab) no money is worth the hassle. Also why I left! I now have an easygoing minimum wage job with nice people that are good to work with. Much better trade off.

PeakOutput

ye i dont know where your getting 9and hour being class its bottom of the barrel as far as i can make out. itll do for college drinking money or whatever but if you take even a small step up from the jobs like shelve packer to ones like on the phone customer service your going to easily get 4 quid more an hour for easier work

cooperguy

Have to agree. €9 is only 35c above absolute minimum hardly what id call class. Id gladly take 35c less for not working in Dunnes anyway. Have heard way too many horror stories from a number of friends who have worked in 3 or 4 different branches between them

Rineanna

OK, relax; I got the point after the first reply, thanks very much.

I was just giving my 2cents on my experience in job hunting in the vicinity of where cson was job searching. And, for the record, I termed €9 as 'class' (In retrospect, an overstatement, I'll admit) as I know several people who are on the bare minimum wage, and, well, it may only be 35c in the difference, but it's still a difference.

It'll be the last time I offer advice! :mad:

PeakOutput

Rineanna wrote: »

It'll be the last time I offer advice! :mad:

its nothing personal advice is always welcome